hey guys

now that's a very long chapter, almost 6k words and my normal is 3k so!

But it's a sad one as well.

The ending made me cry while writing it, cause I was listening to some sad soundtracks and songs so that I can be in the mood.

I'll write you down some of the soundtracks and songs I was listening to.

1- My love will never die by Claire Wyndham. (Lucifer's season 4 finale)

2- Arcade by Duncan Laurence (Acoustic version)

Soundtracks.( the reason behind my tears )

1- Una Mattina by Ludovico Einaudi. ( The intouchables)

**2- Alevler İçinde by Ender Gündüzlü & Metin Arıgül. ( the audio up there👆🏻 )

*3- Hercai Müzikleri - Hasret / Sevda

I'll leave to it.
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Currently we are at the hospital, all of us. His family and mine, both of our friends and even the men working for him like Blake who by the way looks really sad and worried even Fin, Sean, and Collin.

There are a lot of people who are waiting for him just to make sure that he's fine.

He has been inside the operation room for four hours till now, no one came out or said anything to us except that his case is very critical and that all we can do is pray for him to make it.

This news was like pomp to me.

Not just me of course none of us took this news so lightly, I fainted and lizy as well the rest were a mess.

When I woke up in a room in the hospital I insisted to go wait in front of the operation room's door with the rest of them all, even though the doctor recommended that I should rest because I'm pregnant but this was out of question.

Blue is sobbing in her father's arms, even Joe is crying as well while batting his daughter's back. Ellie is hugging Eric who looks really torn apart and trying to stay strong for the rest of his family and Ellie too is crying. Emma and mother and Sonia all are around me soothing me, Andrew too is so sad and hugging Sarah who's crying as well.

Poor lizy was the reason behind my heart ache, aside from being madly worried and scared for Williams but seeing her state broke my heart even more than it was.

She is torn apart, she refuse to let anyone come near her or sooth her and every now and then she'd shout at us that her son is good and alive and that we should stop crying, she'd come to me and whip away my tears and assure me that he's okay and he'll come out any moment.

All his men look really sad for their boss.

Paparazzi are all outside the hospital not moving, waiting for any new news about William's health and William's security team is surrounding the whole place. Phone calls haven't stopped for one moment, all the employees and the people working for the whole family are calling to make sure that he's fine, even my friends have been calling none stop but no one of us can answer anything.

By now it's everywhere on the news and tabloids and social media that the famous CEO Williams Brown, America's pride and the son of the billionaire Joe Brown has been shot and his case is critical and that he got shot in mysterious circumstances.

And if you're wondering how did I know all these information, well the hospital has a lot of T.Vs around so on my way to the restroom I saw not only me, we all saw. Also, the nurses talk around.

All of this made me realize how much he is loved, they are all here praying for him to get out of the operation room safe and sound not just here even people who don't know him are praying for him to get out safe.

He can't be the bad person you are trying to convince yourself that he is!

He might have lied at the beginning but later on, no he couldn't.

He's not that bad! He couldn't fake all of what we've been through.

I wouldn't have felt him the way I did if he was lying?

So yeah maybe he lied to get to know me and be closer to me but maybe he really loved me along the way.

I mean why would he ask me to marry him if it's a game?

Why would he get me pregnant?

This can't be part of a game, right?

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts, all I'm asking now and all I want is for him to get out of the room safe and sound then everything else comes later on.

I stood up and immediately all of them look at me.

They all here have been taking a very special care of me, all of them, his parents and mine. Even his men, whenever I'd wince in pain or frown Collins would come my way asking if I was okay and Fin and Blake would ask if they could bring me anything I want or call for the doctor.

I'm really blessed to have them all.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" lizy asked me through her tears and I nodded.

"Do you need anything rose? I can get you something to drink" Eric told me standing up as well and coming my way.

"no no I'm fine Eric thank you, I'll just go use the rest room" I told him sniffing and he nodded and asked for Fin to walk behind me as I go.

"I'll come with you" Emma told me standing up too.

"no need to" I assured her.

"Don't go alone per favore, I'm still worried" mother told me looking worried still.

"Andrey there's no need to be worried, they have Alberto in custody and Eivan died. she's save now, all of you are" Joe assured her and her shoulders relaxed.

Even though Alberto is probably the most person I've always hated in my life but knowing that he died without seeing Sonia made me feel pity for him.

I know stupid, I shouldn't pity my father murderer.

"I'll walk with her and wait for her outside till she finishes her business" Joe told her and she nodded. We both walked beside each other through the long corridor of the hospital.

"Rosabella" he calls out for me in a broken voice and decided to break the tensioned silence.

"hum" I looked at him and he stops in the middle of the way so I stopped too.

"I'm sorry Rosabella. I wanted to protect you the best way I could and that's all" he told me looking down in shame.

"What I did is wrong and unforgivable, but I couldn't think of anything else except to keep my son next to you so that he can protect you better than any man I would've hired." He spoke to me his voice is still broken yet he's looking me in the eyes to assure me that he's not lying.

"I know Williams, that's why I asked him to do this not any other person, Williams is a very kind hearted man and if he didn't love you he wouldn't have succeeded in making you love him back." He told me, I was about to speak but he cut me off.

"Listen to me till the end please, I wished that both of you fall in love, I really did. At the beginning he asked for the whole firm to be his because Williams always neglected love after Isacc's death. Later on when he fell for you he told me that he no longer wanted the firm or this whole game and that he's willingly wants to be with you forever. What he didn't know was that I wrote him this firm long time ago before he even saw you. Rosabella you weren't a bargain or some game for us" what he said shocked me so much.

He gave away the company for me!

He was willing to give up everything and just be with me!

"it may have started wrongly, I should have let you both meet and leave everything to fate but I wanted to make sure the he has his eyes on you and all my men as a matter of fact so that I could protect you in every possible way I can. You're the only thing left from john" he told me crying as he took a grip of my hands in his.

His words shook me and I know that my heart soften for his words and the sincerity in his eyes.

"i-I don't know what to say. I just... I know Joe you had good intentions but you hurt me along the way! Lying was never a solution. You toyed with my emotions without meaning too.  Do you know why Lying isn't something I can easily forgive even if it was done for the good reason? It's because I have no capability of trusting people and when I do and they fail me, they always do. So it's always really hard for me to trust again, I do not have this option." I told him honestly with tearing eyes and he nodded in an understanding way.

"Take all the time you need my child, but remember how much he loves you, he deserves a second chance. Only god knows that everything he ever done to you was out of pure love, he's in there right now f-f-fighting d-death so that.. so that he can be with you a-and your baby" his words made both of us cry and i hug him hard.

He patted my back and sniffed away his tears then we broke the hug and he stared into my eyes.

"he will be okay, sweetheart" he tried to assure me and I nodded.

"Williams is strong" I told him and he warped his arm around my shoulder and walked me to the toilets.

I walked in and he waits for me outside.

I stare at my ghost in the mirror.

i hadn't stopped crying at all since yesterday when I heard them in the office till now and every single muscle in my face and throat hurts so much. It hurts to even talk or do any facial expression and my eyes are really swallowed and red, my lips are very plump and sore from biting down on them whenever I cry badly, my nose is very red and my face is very pale.

They made me change the pink dress that was stained with William's blood and I'm wearing black leggings and white oversized half sleeved shirt and some white Nikes. 

I wash my face with cold water and placed some on my neck and my head, and then I dry them with some paper tissue and walk out of the rest room.

.......................

It has been nine hours since they started the surgery and still no one told us anything just nurses running in and out of the operation room.

Suddenly a doctor comes out removing his face mask.

We all run his way with worried anticipated faces.

My heart is on the very edge of beating out of my rip cage and my breathing starts to accelerate gradually.

"Doctor how is he? Please tell us anything" Eric asked the doctor with shaking voice.

"he made it, right?" Andrew asked him worried as soon as he stood in front of us.

" the operation was really difficult, the most dangerous part was in removing the pullet, it was centimeters away from the heart and whenever we'd touch it, it moves nearer to his heart" he said and my heart sinks even more.

Oh my love what have I done to you!

Throughout the whole day I couldn't but think that it was all because of me.

"But thank God we managed to get it out without harming his heart. He needs to rest right now so we'll keep him in the intensive care unit until his case is stable then we'll move him to his own room where you can see him" the doctor said and a joy sob leaves my mouth.

All of us kept thanking the doctor and laughing and hugging each other out of joy.

"Doctor, when can we see him?" I asked him.

"Unfortunately right now you can't, but by tomorrow one by the other every three hours you can enter" he told us. I feel disappointed but I'll do anything as long as it's good for him.

"uhm... do we have a flower here?" the doctor asked suddenly and we all frowned .

He wants flowers? Now?

"What?" max asked him confused.

"During the whole surgery, he was calling out for someone called flower or a flower, I really don't know but I thought I'd tell you" the doctor said smiling embarrassingly.

Immediately my eyes tear up.

He has been calling for me.

"It's his fiancée, Rose here. He calls her flower" blue told him glancing my way smiling faintly.

Did she say fiancée?

Did he tell anyone that he proposed?

"Don't worry ma'am the danger is gone, all he needs now is some rest. "the doctor told me and excused himself and walked away.

Joy washed over us all, we all started hugging each other and laughing that thank god he's safe now and it's a matter of time and he'll be with us again.

"you need to go home, both of you" Eric talked to me and lizy.

"no way" we both answered together.

"you all need to rest, you go home and we'll stay the night here" I told them and lizy nodded.

"no I'm not leaving you rose" my mother spoke.

"okay listen, why don't we all go home, rose you need a shower and you need to eat anything for your baby's sake, you too lizy. Then I'll drive you both here again myself" Eric spoke wisely, me and lizy glanced at each other.

"Yes this is the perfect solution, we're not leaving him rose. I'll stay here till you guys come back so that he won't ever be alone." Andrew told us and Sarah said too that she'll stay with him.

"Rosabella you need to eat, he won't be happy when he wakes up and see you in this state, sei cosi pallida e debole siggnora" Alejandro told me.

He has a point.

( you are so pale and weak)

"si figlio hai ragione" Sonia said nodding.

( yes son you are right)

"okay okay, let us go change cloths lizy and eat something quickly then come back to stay the night." I told lizy and she nodded.

Blue took her in her arms and mums has me along with Sonia and we all walked away, leaving behind Andrew, Sarah, Alejandro and his father Joe along with Collins and Sean.

Fin never leaves me alone and Blake if Sean is not here than he drives me everywhere.

Blake took me and my family back to my apartment and Eric and the other driver took William's family back to their mansion.

Mum has been hugging me all the way till we reached home and Sonia has been combing my hair with her fingers delightfully.

Emma is actually praying.

I can hear her thanking the lord for bringing me back safe.

Max is behind us in another car.

They're everything I've got along side with Williams and my baby.

.......................

I got out of the shower and started to get dressed.

I needed to wear something comfortable, so I went with the white Lounge sportive outfit and made my hair a low pony tail and wore the white Puma and paired them with a white big Puma hand bag to put my needed stuff in.

I walked out of the room and into the living room.

Mamma is sitting on the couch and beside her is Sonia, while max is in the balcony smoking and Emma is taking a shower.

"come sit bambino" Sonia told me softly and I took a seat on the sofa opposite to them.

"we were just talking, since everything is now fine and Alberto is gone for good with his son and we all are safe... we think that maybe me and Sonia should move here to be next to you.." mamma said and my eyes went wide.

Am I dreaming!!

"oh my god! Really?" I asked them with a very wide grin in a surprised voice and Sonia nodded giggling.

"yaaaay" I screamed In happiness and went to them and squeezed myself in the middle between them and hugged them both.

"vi amo entrambi cosi tanto" I told them as they hug me back laughing too.

( I love you both so much)

"ti amiamo anche noi, dolcezza" sonia told me.

( we love you too, sweetie)

"I mean with your pregnancy and all, we think you'll need us to take care of you and honestly.... there's no reason to stay away anymore. We are finally free to live our life however we see fit" mamma said and Sonia nodded.

She's so right.

Finally the nightmare is over.

"of course I need you with me, I will always do" I told them.

My phone started ringing with Rickie's name and a crazy picture for me and Eric making faces appeared.

"hey Eric" I answered him.

"hey bells, I'm down there" he said and I told that I'm coming down and excused myself and went down to him.

............................

As promised, Eric drove me and lizy to the hospital again.

While entering the hospital the paparazzi surrounded us like bees.

Rosabella tell us how is Williams Brown now?

Will Williams Brown be okay?

Is he dead?

We heard that he died.

Was it really his friend who shot him?

We heard that the model Cara Brooks was the one who shot him for vendetta.

They kept asking many silly questions the last one actually was about to make me laugh.

A rumor that Cara shot him! I can't imagine this stupid cat woman shooting anyone, she's too stupid for that.

"Guys please can we be more humans than robots and take into consideration each other's feelings?" Eric spoke to them and they all shut up.

"My brother is in there fighting for his life. If you are not here to pray for him to get better, please leave or remain silent and leave us be" he finished looking mad but still he spoke in a controlled respective way.

Well said Eric, they need to take it easy.

They all looked down is shame and moved away from us to give us space to pass easily.

We are sorry Eric Brown.

Hope he gets better.

We'll pray for him.

You are right, we're sorry.

They apologized looking ashamed of what they were doing.

"thank you" Eric thanked them and we proceeded to walk into the hospital.

"well done son" lizy told him proudly.

...................................

They all left an hour ago, throughout the day many of our families and friends would come see how he's doing and leave after a while.

It's 12 am now and it's just me, lizy and Eric. Blue just left with her husband to take care of Joe and Ashley.

Oh Ashley, I wonder how williams feels about her right now.

I don't really know if I appreciate what she has done or not.

I mean yes she made me know the truth but did I really want to know?

I mean I was better off without knowing.

And did she make me know because she wants what's best for me or is it because she hates Williams that much?

"what are you thinking of dear making you look this sad?" lizy asked me frowning as she sips on her coffee.

Huh? I hadn't notice that I made any face would give this away.

We are at our room the one Joe made the hospital open for us to stay in the night, we are drinking coffee and talking but I zoned out.

Does she know?

"lizy there is something you need to know" Eric told her softly.   

He's sleeping on the couch opposite from the two beds me and lizy are sleeping on. Well we are not sleeping the three of us are more in a sleeping/sitting position.

So she doesn't know.

But Eric does!!

Or maybe he will say something else, maybe he doesn't know.

"what is happening?" lizy asked him.

"Williams did something.. Something bad" Eric told her looking at the ground.

So Eric knew.

I couldn't help but feel the disappointment but I can't let lizy think anything bad of Williams, she told me secretly that he's her favorite son.

"He triggered Eivan before when we were all clubbing and said many bad words and that may have pushed Eivan too far into kidnapping me, but Eivan deserved it." I told her and looked at Eric telling him with my eyes to not correct me.

He closed his eyes in appreciation.

"yes and he dared him to touch her, that's why Eivan took it that far" Eric continued with my lie and I nodded.

Lizy shook her head and kept talking about how Williams is so possessive over us all and how Eivan succeeded in fooling us and that she treated him and Antonio as her sons, Antonio which by the way completely disappeared to god knows where.

I just hope that this is not the beginning of a new vendetta.

Where Antonio's kids come for my kids to kill each other over what their parents have done to each other in the past.

Hah! Déjà vu.

After a couple of hours lizy fell asleep and it was just me and Eric.

"how long have you knew?" I asked him staring at the ceiling.

"I knew yesterday. Andrew told me. Then I went to talk to him and that's when I heard him talking to Ashley" he told me.

So Eric wasn't involved. 

"he talked to Ashley " I repeated wanting him to tell me what happened without the need to ask.

"yes.. he was really broken that she hates him that much, he told her that today you made me the most miserable man alive and that he always knew she hates him but didn't expect it to be that much." Eric finished with a deep exhale of breath.

I don't know why but my heart ached for him, knowing that he always struggled because of Ashley and what she made him think he is and now she hates him to the point to actually ruin his life.

He doesn't deserve this.

"what made him actually cry is when he asked her if she wanted revenge for Isacc's death and she said yes, but he did something for the very first time since Isacc's death.. because of you" he said and I can hear him smiling at the end.

So I was right, she didn't make me hear them because she loves me, she wanted to take revenge for something he never did!!

She used me, nothing more or less.

"what is that?" I asked him curious.

"he stood up to her, he didn't take the blame for Isacc's death. He told her that she had been tormenting him for so long on a crime he didn't do and that Isacc was his brother too and that he did not kill him, it was his fate to die." He finishes and I actually feel proud of him.

He has been hurting for so long, he deserves to know that he didn't do anything.

"I was very proud of him" he told me.

"Me too" I told him smiling faintly.

"Bella, you know that he loves you blindly, right?" he asked me and I released a breath.

I've always knew but after what I've heard, I don't know maybe when he wakes up and talks to me about everything, I'll be better.

"it's not that Eric.. it's that.. can I ever trust williams again?" I asked him and sit straight.

" I know but if you give him a second chance you will learn to trust him again. Look I know what he did is absolutely wrong, but he then canceled everything after a week! You are mad at him for a lie he did not complete which actually does not make it a lie." He told me and for a moment he made sense.

How would it be a lie of he didn't do it!

"Maybe you're right, I don't know. The most important thing now is for him to be fine." I told him and he nodded.

"he will, Williams is strong" he told me and we both tried to get some sleep.

..................................................................................................

My heart is beating out of my chest, I'm so nervous yet I'm so happy.

I've seen Williams those past two days after the day of his operation every time I could which according to his state only 15 minutes a day, all of us did but he was always asleep he didn't wake up yet still in some kind of coma.

I talked to him while he was asleep and I told him how much I love him and that he really hurt me and i told him how much I want him to wake up, I talked to him about how he betrayed my trust and that I don't know what to do anymore, do I keep holding a grudge? Do I forgive him? But can I ever trust him? Can I act as if nothing happened? Will I be able to?

I told him all of this and begged him to wake up for me and his baby, I kept on holding his hand and even placed it on my belly but he didn't wake up.

I've been here those past three days since the day Eivan shot him, till today and today is fourth day and they just informed us that he woke up and that they're transferring him in his suit, so yeah that's why I'm so nervous.

After all what happened and all I knew, this will be considered the first time for me to see him and actually can talk to him, him as well.

I really don't know how I'm going to act or treat him, all I know is that those past three days I've come to realization that I really can't live without him and he probably means everything to me in this life and that I can never lose him.

Both of our families are here, Andrew, Sarah, AL as well, we are all waiting outside the room as the nurses do needed stuff to make the room fit for him. Seconds later the automatic doors of the ICU room opened and on a moving bed pushed by four nurses, he came out.

Eric grabs a hold of my hand.

He is always there, he's the brother I never had.

It was as if my heart has been revived again, as if those past day I haven't been living and he revived me again the moment I saw him and our eyes met, his opened tiredly ones with my tearful ones.

I took a deep breath; finally my lungs functioned again and remembered the necessity to breath!

It felt that I wasn't breathing well those past few days and now I can finally breathe again.

His eyes met mine and nothing else mattered.

I can give up anything in this world just to see him safe and sound.

Just to have him look at me the same way he is right now.

His eyes are full of love and adoration and lots and lots of explanations and talking and I'm eager to hear everything he wants to say.

I just realized that I want to forgive him so bad.

They all ran his way, all crying in joy, his family surrounded him all talking to him, my family as well.

His eyes didn't leave me for a moment neither did i.

His eyes kept staring and searching into mine till he entered the room.

I waited outside about 15 minutes trying to gain my equilibrium to face him. I can hear their voice all talking to him.

"Rosabella? What the hell are you doing out there?" emma came out asking me frowning, she must be wondering now what am I doing outside when he's finally out and awake.

"i- it's just seeing him well again makes me emotional with the pregnancy and all" I tried to make it as normal as I could. She looks at me frowning, damn she's not buying it.

"oh lil mama, he's fine roseberry" she said in an aw voice and hugged me tightly.

Phew! She bought it.

Eric came out as well.

"he hadn't stopped asked about you" he told me and my heart ached more and I took a deep breath.

"okay" I whispered.

I entered the room slowly after them with five minutes and I stood on the floor away from him.

Seeing him now makes me so emotional, I've never been this worried before, I've never experienced that much heart ache before.

What would have happened to me if he died!

I started crying without noticing.

This man laying over there is everything I've got.

A.N: play -> Alevler İçinde by Ender Gündüzlü & Metin Arıgül

"flower.." he spoke weakly and after they were all talking to him and laughing they all went silent and looked at me and him.

I know that no one understands why I'm standing away or why I came in this late and what's happening between us except his father, Eric, Andrew and Sarah who I didn't talk to till now, both of them, Sarah and Andrew.

My heart beats accelerates and I became Ice cold in my place, every hair on my neck stood and cold sweat slides down my back.

I can't talk to him, I can't move and I can't look into his eyes.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I'm frozen.

I know that deep down I'm hurt and I feel so betrayed yet what happened to him poured cold water on my lava because his health is way important than any other thing else.

I don't know what am I supposed to do or will I be able to talk to him?

Can I place my misery and heart ache on the side and run right into his arms now and cry my heart out and tell him how much I was scared and how much I'm deeply and madly in love with him?

Can I trust my heart with him again?

He doesn't know how I've been without him. He doesn't have a clue how terrified I was and how torn apart I am right now between my heart who is crazy about him and my mind who is yelling at me to leave him.

"i-I'm sorry.. I can't" I whispered with tears rolling down my cheeks and witnessed his eyes change from hopeful to be filled with sadness and regret.

He tried to sit straight now and wince in pain, his mother and blue tried to make him sit back again. My legs are moving to the back towards the door of the room.

"you just need to hear me" he spoke weakly still trying to stand up from his bed.

Eric walked to me and took my hand in his, his eyes spoke to me and I know that he wants me to give a chance.

I know he's still sick and I shouldn't let him do any effort.

"Williams son please you need to lay back " lizy told him worried.

"Rosabella what's happening?" mother tried to ask me.

Eric walked me more into the room towards Williams bed.

"flower, I deserve a change, one last chance" Williams told me, I sniffed my tears away.

"Rosabella what are you doing he's sick!!!" blue told me, she must be mad at me, no one knows.

"you don't understand anything blue, stay quiet" eric told her and she frowns in confusion.

"you need to rest Williams" I told him with tears rolling down my face.

"what is happening?" max asked and I can say that his guard is on, he's already glaring towards Williams.

"what have he done ?" max asked coming my way looking concerned now.

He will forever have my back.

"you all need to calm down" Joe told them all.

"they need to talk, let us wait outside" he told them all looking at me.

"no joe" I whispered so only me and him can hear and he surprised me when he hugged me suddenly.

"you promised me that you'll give him a second chance, he deserve this, remember you're the only reason he's here now, think of your baby" he whispered into my ear.

I broke the hug with poker face already knowing my answer.

"I'm sorry Joe." I apologized to him then I looked to Williams whose eyes are glossy and looks really weak.

I'm sorry Williams.

Right now I can't.

"I'm glad that you are fine and in good health Williams. Hope you always stay in good health and nothing bad happens to you" I told him with tears streaming down my face.

"Rosabella?" he said my name in pain with a couple of tears rolling down his eyes as well.

"I had to stay, just to make sure that you are fine" I told him, I'm ignoring everyone around me. It's just me and him.

"I'm not okay, I need you" he cried out and I had to take a deep breath because I can't speak from how bad my tears are coming down my eyes.

"you will eventually be" I cried out.

"don't please" he whispered trying to sniffle his tears away as well.

"goodbye Williams" and with that I turned my back to him and exit the room.'

"Rosabella " he called out for me.

I'm crying so bad, it takes everything in me to not turn back to him and run into his arms.

I can't see straight or think straight or anything. I'm crying so bad and he's still calling out for my name and it hurts even more. I'm crying loudly, I cried my ache away. I just walked away from my heart. I left my most precious person in this whole word and left my heart with him.

I can't trust him anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay I'm crying.

Sorry but this had to happen.

I mean he lied in probably a lot of things, she has the right to be this confused and to doubt everything he done and said.

Last chapter is the next one.

Or should I make them 80?

Maybe an epilogue at the end would do it.

Tell me your opinion please.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved wring it.

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