"Don't forget: somewhere between hello and goodbye, there was love, so much love."

Ten days later...

Lilly's POV

"My wild heart longs for you; Every part of me is crying out and begging for your return. Your leaving me alone is like some reflex of my bad karma, I had committed years ago. Now that you have left, it's like I am dying a hundred deaths each moment." I read the lines written over the piece of paper out loud, and my heart clenched so tight in my chest.

My gaze drifted up for one mere second and I looked into the crowd of people, all seated down in their assigned places, all of their eyes on me.

I am not the type to have a stage-fright or to get uncomfortable under people's gazes but today, at this moment, I wished to just run away.

Physically, I am in pain. Mentally, I am exhausted.

This play is not doing me any good either. It reminds me of him, in every way there is. We practiced these lines together once. We stood over this same stage and read them out loud.

"My eyes go numb when reminded of you. It hurts, It really hurts. What has happened to me; I don't understand. Has something broken inside me? Probably." I continue and remember how Mrs. Garcia told me that I am supposed to pour all of my emotions into reading this letter, she asked me to even shed a few tears if I can, "I can't live anymore without you, Why? I loved you, perhaps?"

And at that moment, at the sentence, the first tear slips past my eyes and falls down into the paper. No, I am not a good actor, I am crying because I am a terrible one. Pretending to be okay for the past ten days has finally taken its toll on me; I am tired, my heart is so tired from beating this much fast, from breaking down every second of the day, and my brain is exhausted from thinking and thinking and just thinking.

"Is that even a question? Of course, I am in love with everything you are. Oh, but how much do I regret that I couldn't confess it to you." More tears fall, each one of them taunting me, mocking me, "My heart has shouted your name the whole night, it refuses the separation and I have asked for you in my every prayer."

The irony of this play always made Chase laugh. His laugh...how much do I miss the sound of it.

"Without you, I am impossible," I added, my blurry vision made it hard to see as I went through the last line, "How much does love hurt? I think it couldn't be more, but it only gets worse with every passing minute. Will you forgive me? Will I forgive you? That's something only time can decide."

I place the paper away, just as the script said, my head dropping down, the tears I am supposed to fake hit me with a bang. For a moment, I forget that I am sitting under the spotlight, in the middle of the stage, in a room filled with more than a hundred people, watching me and expecting me to finish this last scene.

I press my eyes shut and I forget. Everything and everyone.

The pain pressing over my chest for the past ten days only intensifies, multiplies, and I feel the need to scream, to cry out loud. Maybe, maybe by that, the pain would go away.

This is the second time I am getting my heart broken, and by the same guy, but this time through no fault of his own. This time I blame the world. I blame the circumstances. I blame the time, because it could've had a better timing for us, but it didn't.

Tomorrow, he will be leaving.

I was informed about this a couple of days ago. Mom and dad were talking about it and I eavesdropped. I was probably the last one to know.

He is really leaving. Too fast for my brain to even register it or grasp it.

For the past days, I sneaked a look here and there but never once did we come face to face again after our little encounter in my backyard. Yesterday was the final soccer game and he played it with everything in him, scoring the last goal and placing our school's team back in the lead.

I sat down in the back, between the crowd of students, and silently watched him. When they won, everyone gathered around him, congratulating and praising their new captain. He was smiling, talking with everyone, but his smile wasn't genuine. His laugh wasn't either. I know him. I know when he is faking it.

While talking, his gaze drifted away into the crowd, as if searching for someone. Knowing it has got to be me, I sneaked from the back and just left.

That was the last time I saw him.

He is leaving tomorrow.

It's probably the last I'll see him ever.

The footsteps nearing had me snapping my eyes open, shaken back into reality. The shadow hovering over me blocked the crowd of people and I sighed, beyond relieved that this play has finally reached an end. He extended his hand and I took it, before he pulled me up.

I stared at the face of the male-lead like I am supposed to, pretended that I am affected by his presence like I am supposed to, but I couldn't help the one thought, that it should've been Chase here in his place. After the drug, because he couldn't practice anymore, Mrs. Garcia had to pick someone else to take the role. I wish I backed away from my role back then.

He said his lines and I said mine, acting, pretending, faking...it was all so jumbled.

I am in pain, the character I am bringing to life is in pain. I am hurt, she is hurt. Now, she is happy, but I am still drowning in my sorrow.

It was a stupid play, a tragedy but with a happy ending. It's stupid, so very stupid, and unrealistic.

The main leads reunited in the end. He came back for her and swept the right of her feet as a piece of heart-wrenching music played in the background. The acoustic music Chase once made, the one he masterfully created from scratch, just for this play. They still used it, because they could never find anything more perfect or fitting.

When the last note hit, signaling the end, everyone from the crowd stood up, clapping and cheering. I heard some whistles, knowing for sure they're our classmates. Mrs. Garcia and the rest of the team came onto the stage, all with big grins on their faces as we bowed down, appreciating the attendee's enthusiasm.

I thanked the stars it was over and when we went backstage, Mrs. Garcia said her thanks to each and every one. When she reached me, she placed her hands over my shoulders, "Lilly, you were perfect, I knew I picked right!" Pride shone in her eyes and I felt that I should be happy. I did something good, I should be happy, right?

Is this what losing someone does to you? Like the whole world turns into a blur; the taste, the smell, the feelings, it's all gone.

"Especially in the last part, it was like I could feel your pain, you were incredible!" She added and I envied her enthusiasm, I wish I could have it.

I couldn't even come up with the enough power to give her a smile. Just a smile, I couldn't.

I knew I was seconds away from breaking down. Just seconds.

Hold on longer. I encouraged myself. Just a bit longer and you will be alone.

She noticed my lifeless state and her eyebrows pulled closer, her hands traveled to my face, "What is it, sweetie?" She asked, worry evident in her tone.

She was a sweet young woman and spending all that extra time practicing under her supervision, our relationship wasn't just a teacher-student relation anymore.

I shook my head, unable to form words, if I do, I will cry and I can't cry in front of anyone.

You cry in front of Chase.

Chase is not just anyone. He is more, much more.

She pulled her hand away, "I asked Chase to attend, at least to see how the music played out to be."

I shook my head, "He wouldn't come," He wouldn't risk the chance of us being alone anymore.

She nodded, "I wish he would've," She said, "Can you tell him thanks for letting us use his piece?"

I nodded, lied, "I will."

"Will you join everyone for the party?" She asked and I immediately shook my head, "No, I am tired, I will just gather my things and go home."

She nodded in understatement and gave my arm a gentle squeeze, "Okay, just remember that you were amazing out there," She said, "You're a smart, beautiful and a talented little girl," She gave me a wink, "But you're prettier when you smile."

Why would I smile, anyway? The main reason behind my smile is going to leave tomorrow.

I curled my hand into a fist, controlling myself before I pulled my phone out of the bag and checked my messages, there was a missed call from dad, so I immediately called him back.

"Hey little bug, you were amazing out there," He said, the smile evident from his tone alone.

"Thank you, Dad," I said.

"We will leave now, your mother is also not feeling that well," He started and I immediately ask, "What's wrong? Is she okay?"

"I am fine, baby, just a little bit tired," I heard her say, "You were so good out there, I am so proud of you," She added.

"Yeah, she is my daughter alright," Dad commented, proudly.

"I thought she was...okay," I heard Max say with a bored tone and I rolled my eyes.

"Look, when the party finishes call me so I can come and pick you up," Dad said and I mumbled a low, "Okay, see you guys at home."

I hung up after and slumped down on the near chair. I was planning to attend this stupid end-of-the-academic-year party but I am in no mood to socialize with people at the moment. I don't even want to go home yet. I feel like I am gonna explode. Where the hell will I go?

I looked around me and sighed, maybe I will stay here like such a loner till the party finishes.

I went to change my clothes and sighed in frustration when I noticed that the only attire I've kept here is what I was gonna wear for the party. I slipped on the black mini-skirt and buttoned my red shirt, I tucked it inside and decided to keep on my sneakers because no way in hell I am wearing heels. Sally called me after, trying to drag me to the party and I refused, telling her that I am going home.

I gathered my things and headed out of the changing room to notice that almost everyone else is gone.

I walked back to the now-empty stage and stared ahead of me at the empty seats. I placed my bag aside and sat down by the stage's edge, dangling my legs off. My shoulders slumped down and a very tired breath pushed out of my lungs.

What am I going to do, now? What happens after? Will I get used to his absence, just like I got used to his presence?

After how long till it starts to feel okay again?

With my peripheral vision, I saw as someone walked closer and sat down beside me. I turned my head to find Conner's eyes on me, "Aren't you going to attend the party?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No, I am tired."

His eyes drifted down to my attire, "You look ready though."

I just shook my head and averted my gaze away. He wasn't satisfied with my dead-like state and he nudged my arm with his elbow, "You okay?"

"What do you think?" I mumbled, my gaze drifting down to my lap.

"I think you're just as miserable as he is," He said and I turned to him, guilt furrowed my eyebrows, "He is not happy?" How did I manage to ruin his happiness? How?

Conner gave me a knowing look, "What do you think?" He said, mimicking my previous question.

I curled my hand over the edge of where I am sitting, trying to hold myself, hating how our last memory is so awful like this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He could've left with us on good terms, I wanted that, I needed that. I needed these last ten days to be spent with him, every minute and every second; why couldn't he understand me?

"I was really hoping you two would work it out," Conner commented, a bit of sadness and sorrow reflected in his tone.

"Really?" I asked and he immediately nodded, giving me a knowing look, he said; "I was shipping this before you two even started dating!"

My heart ached, so bad, thinking about how I wasted all of that time. All of those days, even before my birthday, I could've had him all to myself, but I didn't. I was too blinded crushing over his stupid cousin. I was so stupid.

Maybe, if we happened all the way back then, the end wouldn't be like this. Maybe, all of my fears and insecurities would've weighed nothing in front of the possibility of us.

Maybe, this news would've not happened so su0ddenly and so fast, and we would've had more time to think everything through. Because now, neither he nor I can think clearly about this.

I got lost in the possible what-if's before I felt Conner's hand over my arm, he gently squeezed, pulling me out of my thoughts, "Do you want me to take you home?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I don't feel like going home yet."

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling together in worry at my state.

This new me worries me too. She is silent. She is lifeless. She is weak and breakable. She is not the same wild, full-of-life, dangerous Lilly that Chase fell in love with.

I looked and Conner and shook my head, keeping the tears locked in, "I would prefer to be alone," I mumbled, meaning it. I only need one person to be here with me right now, and that won't happen, so I prefer loneliness over anyone else.

He nodded, in understatement. He pulled himself up, "If you change your mind, call me," He added, "I will be around."

I nodded, losing the energy to form actual words, and waited to hear his footsteps disappear. I pulled in a stuttered breath into my lungs and felt everything inside and around me crashing again.

I'd been a fool to think I knew heart-break last time, maybe I have, but never have I felt I lost a piece of myself to it, until now.

Until it became so near, so real.

I place my head in my hands and after ten days, I let it all out, crying into my hand, hoping this pain will leave me along with the tears, but the more I cry, the more my inside breaks and shatters into a million piece.

**************

Chase's POV

My gaze drifts to the door of my bedroom and I mumble a low, "Come in," to whoever knocked. My mom opens the door and she walks inside, her eyebrows furrow when she notices me laying down, "You're not going to the party?" She asks.

With my arm above my head, I shake it. She walks closer and sits down by my side, "Why?" She asks, "You would see all of your friends before tomorrow, you know since you will uh-" She pauses there and sucks into a deep breath, still unable to get accustomed to the fact that I will be going away, just one day from now.

I think I'm also the same, still unable to grasp the idea yet.

My gaze falls on her and I shake my head again. The last thing I need now is this party.

Her head tilts in worry, "Chase, what's wrong?" She asks, "Aren't you excited about tomorrow?"

"I am," I mumble and look away, "Or I was, I don't know."

A low sigh comes from her side before her hand rests over mine, "Is this about Lilly?" She asks and when I keep silent, she carries on, "Believe me when I say that no one wants you two to be together more than me," Her words make me face her again, she smiles, "And now, it hurts me to say this, but I know that when you have your first love, you feel like you're never gonna fall in love again, but believe me, you do," Her words, as much as they made sense, they felt impossible.

"You never know what life has in store for you," She adds and I know that's somehow true, "You two are still so young, you're still on the way to discover yourselves; what you love, what you hate, what type of a person you actually are, these all are things that now you start making sense of, going to university, being on your own, taking the full responsibility, is what's gonna shape who you'll be for the rest of your life."

"And if after all of that, you still find your way back to each other," Her smile widens, "Then, it would be perfect, and you'll know it was meant to be from the beginning."

Her hand gently removed the hair from over my forehead away, "Don't be scared, okay?" She added assuringly, as if she could feel all of my inner fears without me talking, "Leaving doesn't mean you're gonna lose her."

Then, why does it feel like I already did?

I pull myself up, laying my back against the headboard, I face her again, "But she doesn't want this."

She nods her head, she understands, both my situation and Lilly's, "Why don't you put yourself in her place for this time, and see it from her perspective, not from yours?"

She ends her words there, leaving the rest for me to understand. She inches closer, her hand goes to my cheek as she presses a soft kiss against my temple, "I love you so much, and I just want you to be happy, okay?" At her words, I offer a small smile, but before I could say a thing, I hear dad's voice from somewhere in the house, calling for her.

She sighs and shakes her head, "He really can't live without me, can he?" She says as she gets to her feet.

I smile and shake my head, "He surely can't."

She gives me a wink before she leaves the room and keeps me alone with my thoughts.

I do as she said and for once, I place myself in Lilly's shoes. The tears in her eyes, the fear, and all the doubt; they never left my mind since that day. She is scared, I get it. She has that big belief that we can't pull this long-distance, and I feel that no matter what I am going to say or do, I can't change her mind.

My phone rings beside me, I reach for it and answer when I see Conner's name flash over the screen, "Hello," I say, my mind still busy analyzing everything.

"Where are you?" He asks, and I immediately refuse what I think he is going to ask, "Conner, I told you I am not going to attend the party, okay?"

"Not that," He dismisses the idea, "But you should come," He adds, the seriousness in his tone has me straightening up in my seat, "I think someone over here needs you."

My heart knocks it up a notch and he carries on, "I've been staring at the girl crying and there is nothing I can do, so-"

I let my eyelids drop down for a second and her teary eyes clouds my better senses, "I am on my way," I say, already getting up. The boy in me who is head over heels with this girl is more powerful than the one who is determined to leave tomorrow with no strings attached.

"Oh wow, you're fast to convince," He says in amusement, "Anyway, dad you need to make up with mom, so I don't grow up in another broken family, okay?" He adds mockingly and I roll my eyes.

"Okay son, don't worry," I match his mocking tone and he chuckles.

"Stay by her side till I get there," I say.

"Will do."

*************

Lilly's POV

The music starts to play from the other side of the school, and as the ring of guitar and bass kicks in, I blot my face and nose into the arm of my thin shirt.

I am such an emotional mess, in the middle of the school's theatre. All alone.

I cry some more and realize that I can't do this. I can't handle this. Not yet.

I need to see him.

I decide to get the hell out of here but I stop when I hear footsteps nearing me again from behind, thinking it's Conner, I sigh, "I told you I want to be alone," I start to say but I am suddenly surrounded by a familiar scent that swirls me into an endless loop of emotions.

"That's not an option," He says and a shocked exhale bursts out of me, and I use it to my advantage and take a huge inhale, melting into his warm voice.

I immediately turn around, my gaze drifting up to fall onto the one boy who has stolen my heart, my mind, and all of my senses.

Fresh tears fill my eyes as I gaze at him, his ocean blue eyes dimming a bit when he reads my broken expression. Before I could think, before I could analyze, and before I could ruin this; I struggle to my feet, getting up so fast and my arms reach for him as I crash myself up against his hard chest.

His warmness engulfs me right away and I want nothing more as he wraps his strong arms around my body, pulling me even closer. I feel his hand cradling the back of my head and I press my face further against his chest, soaking his white dress shirt with my tears but I don't care.

"Don't do this to me, Lilly," he murmurs in my ear, addressing my state and his hand runs through my hair before it reaches my face and he holds it.

I only shake my head, unable to form coherent words and I drop my gaze as the tears fall and fall. He tips my chin up and searches my eyes, devastation in his own, "I am sorry," He whispers as he swipes his thumb across my chin, "Please don't cry, the last thing I want is to be the reason behind these tears."

My heart seizes and I shake my head, "You're here," I manage to mumble, explaining the reason behind these specific tears.

He tries to wipe them all away and I suck into a stuttered breath, trying to control myself, something he's much better at doing than me, "Of course I am here," A somber smile pulls up the corner of his lips, "Our child called me and I couldn't say no to him," His words had my eyes widening for a second, taken aback which immediately made his smile widen, "It's Conner, he kind of made me adopt him earlier today and I kind of need your help in that," Terror wells up in his eyes and he shakes his head, "I can't handle him on my own."

I chuckle lowly through my tears, totally expecting that from Conner. Chase's head tilts a bit, his eyebrows pulling closer almost in pain, before his thumb brushes over my lips, "Yeah, show me that beautiful smile," He sucks into a deep breath, "I kind of need it now."

I sniffle, finally gaining some control over myself, "You're leaving tomorrow," It was a statement, not a question, "So, why...why are you here now?"

"Because I want to spend my last night with you only," He honestly admits.

My stomach tumbles so does my heart. I try to lighten the mood and I give him a challenging look, "Who said I would want that?"

He shakes his head, "I am not taking your opinion," He says, ever so strictly, "It's an order."

I gulp down and stare up at him, "Wow, it's hot when you do that."

He chuckles lowly before he looks around at our surroundings, "Let's get the hell out of here," He says and I nod, totally agreeing.

When his gaze falls back on me, it flickers to my hair and his eyebrows pull together, "No ribbon today?"

I shake my head, "No ribbon for the last ten days."

His confusion grows deeper, "Why?"

"Because each color describes an emotion for me," I say.

"Yeah?"

"And for the past ten days, I only felt pain," I shake my head, "I don't have a color for that."

Emotions reflect in his blue eyes as he lets my words sink in. His chest rises and falls before he mutters, "Can I fix that?"

Hesitantly, I nod, unable to understand the motive behind his words. My frown grows deeper when his hand goes into his pocket and he pulls something out, "You should've never given it back to me," He says as he inches closer, his hand goes to my hair and he starts to tie the blue ribbon.

My heart jumps out of the confines of my chest and I try to look up at him as he hovers over me and tries to fix it into a knot over my hair. He looks at it, blinking innocently and checking if it's done well before he edges back a fraction and his beautiful eyes flicker down to me, a heartwarming smile pulls up the corner of his lips and I stop breathing for a second.

At that exact moment, I discover how right and true my dad's words were.

One little meaningless and silly moment and you just know.

I smiled. I just knew. One day, I will have this man's babies.

And by babies, I definitely don't mean Conner.

"I never knew what blue meant," He starts, and confusion draws his eyebrows closer, "What does it mean?"

I never knew what it meant either, not till now.

I smile and shake my head, "How about I tell you about it later?"

He doesn't ask further, instead nods, takes my hand in his, and pulls me outside with him. He pauses to a stop as we reach the driveway and he curses something under his breath, "I forgot that my car is at the garage for-,"

A low whistle comes from behind us and we both turn around, "So, I see that mom and dad made up," Conner says and I roll my eyes at him, "Cool, we can celebrate that later, but for now," He then throws what looks like keys in Chase's direction.

Chase catches them right away, and when he eyes them confusingly, Conner explains, "Jackson lend me the motor for the day," I know that Jackson is his boss at the garage that he sometimes works at.

He throws a wink at us, "You kids, go wild!" He says enthusiastically, but then shakes his head almost immediately and strictly remarks, "But don't forget to put the helmet on!"

I chuckle at his silliness, and he gives me a knowing smile before he walks back inside. Chase doesn't waste more time, his hand curls around my wrist and pulls me away. When he stops, I gape the motor parked ahead of us, it has got to be the brand-new top-of-the-line, hugest, blackest, and loudest motor I've ever laid my eyes on.

"You know how to ride that?" I ask in disbelief, still gaping.

Chase's eyebrow raises, "If I didn't love you, I'd be offended right now."

My heart stumbles at how smoothly and easily that word rolled off his tongue and how calming it felt to be heard.

"Wow, Mr. Ryder, you've really got the whole bad-boy-good-boy package," I remark, my eyebrow playfully arching, "Aren't you every girl's wet dream?"

He takes the helmet and places it over my head, it feels heavy and encloses most of my face. He flips the visor up and gives me a look that goes all the way to my vagina, "Well, it's enough I am yours."

"Oh, you've got no idea what type of wet dreams I have about you," I mumble casually, not once shying away from it as I lift my leg high enough to swing it over the soft leather of the seat.

Chase's jaw tightens, and I know he's trying so bad to keep his control and I revel in that. Getting him all bothered has got to be the most pleasurable thing ever. His hands move to my hips in a firm grip then lift me just enough to push me back on the seat, "They don't need to stay as dreams, you know," He casually remarks and my heart throbs at the insinuation.

Okay, I change my mind. I guess there is one thing that could be more pleasurable.

"Don't play with my poor heart like that," I say as he gets in front of me.

"I am not," He adds and I don't need to be asked as I lean into his back and wrap my arms around his waist.

As soon as he starts up the bike, the loud rumble and the massive vibration have me sucking into a deep breath, beyond thrilled and as the bike kicks forward, I grip him as tight as humanly possible.

My heart rate escalates to a whole new level, excitement bristles under my skin when he turns into the highway and picks up speed.

"You doing okay?" Chase's question is muffled from the whipping wind, and it isn't until he asks that I realize I have the biggest smile on my face.

"Oh baby, I was born for this!" I yell and feel him shake with laughter.

Adrenaline rushes through every part of my body as a million sensations plague me at once. I let go of every worry, every fear, and everything and I just let myself feel, feel everything that is good and beautiful. The fast wind on my face is invigorating, the smell of earth around us is refreshing and the feel of my body against his is beyond enthralling.

"Don't let go," He orders.

"Never," I mumble, exhilarated with the experience.

"And Lilly, you better stop your hand from going down my stomach," He adds in a warning and I bury my face into his back, laughing, really laughing at how he immediately understood the motives of my movements.

"Well, it's part of my wet dream, what can I do?" I scream back and he suppresses his groan, "You make me insane."

Carefully, I pull myself up a little, so I am able to deliver my words right to his ear, "Well Chase, that's the beauty of love."

It feels like minutes only after I talk that he slows down and pulls to a stop. In a haze I stare to see where he has parked, the area looks almost isolated from everywhere else and meters away from what looks like a cliff.

Without warning, he shuts down the bike, turns around, and removes the helmet from over my face. Impatiently, he reaches for my face and pulls me into the type of kiss that shakes me to the core.

His lips are only on mine, but I feel him everywhere. On my skin, in my veins, and in the deepest part of my heart, that's newly learning how to fall in love. His mouth is demanding, and brutal, all gentleness gone.

A whimper escapes me at the sweep of his tongue, his incredible taste flooding all over my senses.

He pulls me closer, but we never get off the bike, with me almost straddling him. He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down my throat and I tip my head backward, inviting him in, "We're recreating my wet dream?" I ask, half a whisper, half a whimper.

"You've got no idea," He says over a groan, and his hands fumble with my shirt, his lips never once leaving my lips or my skin. The urgency in his touch and kisses blows me away. I am pretty sure he tore a few buttons on the way, but I could care less as he let the shirt slips off my shoulders.

Consciously, my gaze drifts around, but before I could doubt anything, he presses a reassuring kiss over my lips, "No one comes out this way, not at this time at least," His heated eyes look directly into mine, "No way in hell would I risk anyone seeing what's mine."

*****************

Chase's POV

She shivers at my tone, and instead of talking, she pushes herself even closer to me, her legs on each side of mine. I groan at the pressure; thanks to her skirt, the only thing separating us, is my jeans and the thin material of her underwear.

I swear she does these things to me on purpose.

My heart pounds in anticipation and she doesn't waste time as she flicks the clasp of her bra, letting it fall over her shoulder. And fuck me, she is a sight.

Lilly is a girl who is pretty much confident in her own skin, she knows she has it in her, she knows her effect, and she takes full pleasure seeing me lose all of my shit over her.

"You're fucking perfect," My voice comes out all thick and hoarse. Her smile is innocent, it shows how she liked my words, and reveled in how much I want her. Her cheeks turning pinker, a total contradiction to the wild want in her dangerous eyes.

Not wanting her to think more, I just let her feel, feel how much I wanted her, how much I craved her for all these years.

I reach and cup the weight of her perfect breasts in my hand then lean down and take one of her pink, stiff nipples in my mouth. She gasps and arches, her fingers spearing into my hair with a firm grip that shoots to every nerve in my being.

"Oh god," She moans, her body is so sensitive to my every touch and I fucking love it. I can't help but also revel in the fact that I'm the only one to touch her like this, because the thought of anyone else doing it makes me see red.

I take turns going back and forth between each tight tip, her body writhing against me as she tries to get closer, and it has me craving to bring her more. To bring her to highs she's never known.

I cast my hand over the sensitive skin of her inner thigh and it slowly reaches up, right under her skirt. Leaning in, I kiss her lush mouth, "Chase, please," She begs, giving me the permission to go forward. She unconsciously grinds over my lap, killing me with each move.

My fingers reach and tease around the side of her panties, my lips continue grazing the skin of her neck before I loop my finger in her underwear and pull them aside, "Ah fuck," I groan, losing all of my shit when I feel her soaked and bare.

She whimpers out my name, her legs clamping around my arm to keep my hand trapped inside of her, "Easy, I got you, baby," I murmur against her neck and pry her legs apart. I slide my fingers through her wet slit, grazing over her swollen nub before making my way to her entrance. Her fingers wrap tighter around my hair and the harder she tugs, the faster my finger moves into her wet and tight heat, she moans my name and a low growl erupts from my throat, driving both of us right to the edge.

The sound of my name leaving her mouth fuels me with a desperate need I've never felt before. I grind my teeth, trying not to lose control, and remind myself this is about her now, and not me, but fuck is it hard. Her hips begin rocking to the thrust of my finger, taking the pleasure she craves. Her breathing speeds up with her impending climax, "Chase, it feels so goo-" She trails, catching her breath and she buries her face in my shoulder, "But I need to-, I need-" She sucks into a breath, unable to understand what she needs, but I do.

For someone who is so blunt about these things, she sure is innocent. Very. She is so soft, she is too delicate, I just want to protect her, and keep her body pressed up against mine all the damn time. Never let anyone else come near her, no one else to ever make her feel what I am making her experience. I want to be her first and last, with no one in between.

I nibble at the sensitive skin of her neck, claiming what I want to be mine forever. Keeping the momentum of my movements, the enough pressure finally sends her right over the edge. She clamps down on my finger and she explodes, biting into my shoulder to suppress her mouth from crying it out loud.

My heart feels like a mess, so does every other part of my body as I lean back to look at her soft face, watching as the pleasure twists her expression and every nerve in my being fires at her sight.

I didn't think she could get any more beautiful but fuck, how wrong I was.

*************

Lilly's POV

I press my back against his chest, leaning into his warmth as we sit down on the floor. The clear sky is dark above us and covered in stars. Way off in the distance are thousands of lights from homes and buildings that light up the whole city. It looks like we are worlds away, rather than just minutes.

I pull into a full breath of air, melting down between his arms, my mind still hungover due to the pleasurable moment it just experienced. I wanted more, to give that same pleasure back to him, but he didn't let me. Damn him, always keeping me at arm's length. Giving me something, yet leaving me craving more and much more.

I swear he does this on purpose, this SOB, he tries to tease me, just like I do to him.

"You know, before you came to school, I was planning to go to your house," I admit and revel into the feel of his arms wrapping around me.

He rests his chin over my shoulder, "Really?"

I nod, "Yes, I couldn't bear that you'll leave and I won't get the chance to at least say goodbye." The old stung wraps around my chest and I feel myself flailing within, unable to understand the whirlwind of emotions today is.

"I didn't want our last memory to be a bad one," He says and I nod, agreeing, "That's why I came, or else I would've regretted it for sure."

I turn to him, to the soft eyes that caress my face with so much love, "I also didn't want that when you'd think about me later, you'll just remember the girl who stole your happiness."

He shook his head, and tightened his hold around me, "You are my happiness, Lilly," He says and I believe in his words, in every and each one of them, "And when I have you in my arms like this, I wanna leave the whole world behind and just stay here with you, forever."

His words trigger in me too many feelings, I smile as I lean and peck his lips, my hand rests over his cheek, "But you won't, you shouldn't," I urge, doing the one thing dad asked me to do. Don't hold him back. Never will I do that, "You will go tomorrow and you will start one of the greatest experiences of your life, you will go and show them how you can be one of the best pilots they'll ever come to know," I don't say this just to support him, I say it because I believe in them. I believe in him and what he's capable of doing.

He smiles, appreciating my words, "And five years later, you will get on that plane, you will come back here and you'll swipe me right off of my feet all over again."

With his hand, he gently tucks my hair behind my ear and I continue, "Hey, but you better not play and flirt around with the stewardesses," I shoot him a glare, "It's usually typical for pilots to do that, but you better not!"

He chuckles, "Okay, I won't."

I nod, "You won't, because, after a long and tiring flight, you will come right back home to me, I will also have had a really bad day at work, with all the meetings and almost every guy there hitting on me," His smile drops for a second and he shoots me a glare, but I carry on nevertheless, "We would get home at the same time, and let go of all the day's stress together."

His eyebrow raises, "How exactly will we do that?"

My smile widens, "Oh this is my favorite part," I start, "So, we would start by kissing of course, and then after you remove all of my clothes, you will notice that I didn't even wear any panties under and then-"

He presses his hand over my mouth, stopping me from talking, knowing how I wouldn't mind going into each and every detail.

His eyebrow raises and I chuckle and shrug, "Another wet dream, I can't help it."

He shakes his head with a genuine smile, "I like the image you're drawing," He pulls into a deep breath and seems to be thinking something through, "Five years from now, you and me again," He states, "Deal?"

I nod my head, "Deal."

"No matter what?" He asks.

I nod, "No matter what."

"Promise?"

I smile, "Promise."

The light summer breeze hits us gently and I feel myself shiver a bit. Chase takes my hands in his, covering and warming them up.

I let my heart feel everything it can, anything it can grasp, I store it deep inside. I let it get lost in the guy holding me and looking at me like I am his whole world.

No one would ever replace him. No one can. No one will take his place after.

No one will love me like this. No one will know me as he does. No one will take care of me the way he does. No one will handle my stubborn head, my immaturity, and my unfiltered mouth.

This boy. He took all of my firsts. Kiss, date, heartbreak, and even love.

I want one more to add to that list.

"Are your parents home?" I ask, without introductions.

His eyebrows pull together, "I am not sure."

"Call them," I urge.

He stares at me for a full second, understanding my motives before he pulls his phone. He calls auntie Katherine and he asks her.

He ends the call right away and before I could ask a thing, he wraps a hand over my wrist and pulls me up with him, giving me the answer I've been waiting for.

He helps me up the motor before he gets in front of me and roars the engine to live. Kicking in, he speeds up down the streets.

I hug him tightly, and I try not to think about tomorrow or what'll happen after it. About how differently my life will change.

After now, every time it'll hurt, I'll just remember this. This day. These little moments that aren't little.

I'll remember the good. I'll remember the love. I'll remember the boy who gave me his heart, the one who stole mine. I'll remember my promise.

Five years later.

I assured myself. Five years later.

I shake myself back to reality when the bike stops, he parks it in the driveway of his house. He takes my helmet off and without a warning, pulls me out of the motor and toward the entrance.

He fumbles with his keys and once we get inside, once it shuts behind us, all I feel is my back slamming against the door, and then his lips are on mine, driving all the air from my lungs.

I gasp. It is unlike any other time he's kissed me. He owned me now, possessed me.

In between his beautiful attacks, I manage to mumble, "Your room, now."

I'd die if anyone comes to interrupt us at this moment.

He breaks the kiss on a low groan, not satisfied with the space between our skins. He doesn't waste more time, he takes my hand and drags me up the stairs and into his room.

Once inside, he locks the door. Now, it's my turn. I grab the collar of his shirt and pull his mouth to mine. He slips his arm around me, pulling me against him and kissing me so feverishly I think I am gonna lose my mind. The force pushing me till my back gets plastered against the wall. He scoops me in his arms like I weigh nothing. I immediately wrap my legs around him, feeling the hard length of him grind against me with the most delicious friction.

My hands find their way under his shirt and my nails dig into his back as he nips at the back of my neck, tasting and sucking into my skin, growling in approval as I clamp my legs tighter, moving against him.

His hands grip at my thighs firmly, guarding me in place, his lips still on mine, and when his movements slow a bit, I open my eyes to see fear and a bit of doubt flashes in his heated gaze, and he mumbles, "Five years is too much time, Lilly."

I take his face in my hands and I shake my head, "Please don't," I mumble. Don't do this to me, not now.

"A lot can change," He explains as his hand loses its grip from over my thighs, allowing me to drop them away. My heart clenches at the bit of vulnerability in his voice but I understand where all of his doubts are resonating from. He believes that somehow in these five years I'd just find someone else to take his place. It's impossible.

I take his hand in mine and I press it over my chest, "No this," I say, letting him feel how fast my heart is beating, "This will never change," I give him another promise.

My reassuring takes some of that worry away, but not all of it.

I don't say more, I slowly unbutton my shirt, and he eyes my movement, the air catches in his throat as I shrug it off my shoulders and I step forward, my heart races at the look in his eyes, and I let my hands deal with his shirt now, "I need you to touch me, Chase," I admit, my movements slow now, a total contradiction to the urgency our bodies sank into seconds ago, "I need your skin against mine, I need all of you," I whisper, softly, erasing all of his fears.

He helps me by shrugging the shirt off, letting it fall down to the ground, "And I need you, more than anything in this world," He says and I edge forward a fraction, I rest my palm against his chest, my face a breath away from his and slowly, I let my hands roam his bare chest before they move to his backs, my fingers getting lost in the grooves of his muscles. He feels so hard, yet smooth.

I like this and he lets me, lets me explore, wanting to know every part of him, memorize it and score it to my deepest memory. His hands over my back slip down, just as slow as my movements, and fuck something about this speed, ignites a fire in me. He unclasps my bra and lets it go, joining our other clothes on the floor.

His hand reaches my neck, he hocks it under my chin, my arms go around his neck and he dips his head down, pressing his lips against mine, in a kiss so slow, so romantic, so fitting to the moment.

I feel like he's kissing me for the first time, like we didn't spend the bigger part of the night with our mouths up against each other. He takes his time, exploring every corner, he tastes me and he savors it. His tongue slow dances with mine and I whimper, the ache in my body goes all the way down and I feel myself burning.

He leads me to his bed and once my knees hit the edge, I fall onto my ass. Never once breaking the kiss, I back my body down to the center, leading him with me, all while his hands caressing every inch of my upper bare skin.

My back presses up against the mattress, and he pulls back, his eyes drifting all over my body, his lips move to my neck, down my throat, between my breast, and my body quivers from the simple touch when I feel his warm lips on my stomach.

I gasp when he slowly glides my panties down, my body craving the pleasure he gave me before. I am about to tug at my skirt, wanting it off to but his hard grip over my wrist stops me, "Keep it." He orders and I gulp.

My eyebrow raises and a smirk curls up one corner of his lips, "I've got my wet dreams as well."

My heart seizes and when he dips his head lower and between my legs, I hear him inhale a deep breath and groan.

"What are you going to do?" I ask, the thrill alone gets my voice shaking.

"I'm going to taste you, Lilly, and I know you're going to taste so fucking good," I swallow hard, "Well, that sound so...Oh!" I trail off on a gasp and my back bows off the bed as I feel his warm, wet tongue take a long, leisurely lick of my most sensitive part.

"Fuck, Lilly," he growls, just before splaying a hand low on my tummy, to hold me in place, while he delves in a second time.

My feet find their place on his shoulders and my hips thrust up against his mouth greedily, taking everything he gives. If I thought what his fingers did to me before was good, that is nothing compared to this. I've never felt anything like it.

"Oh god, Chase, it's so good." My fingers grip his hair tightly as my body soars to highs I've never known. I'm so close already, my body teetering on the edge of explosion, but I try to hold back, not wanting this to end.

Somehow he senses it, "Don't hold back, baby, come apart for me." His words vibrate against my clit just before he takes the swollen nub between his lips, causing me to shatter.

Sensations slam into me, drowning out the sound of my pleasure. Chase doesn't let up until he takes every ounce of pleasure from me. He kisses the inside of my thigh while I try to catch my breath and float back down to reality.

My heart thunders in anticipation and I pull my upper body up, my fingers fumbling with his pants, pulling down the zipper and he rids himself from his pants.

"Condom?" I ask.

True, I want his babies. But definitely not now.

He reaches for his nightstand and pulls one out of the drawer. I smile and his eyebrow raises, "Someone told me better be prepared than pregnant, had to act on it."

Everything after happened in a haze, the sound of the wrapper being ripped, the feel of his bare body blanketing mine, our skins fitting together in ways I've only read about in books.

The chemistry.

The fire.

At this moment, I believed that we've been made only for each other.

I feel the tip of his erection slowly slipping into me. My legs immediately clamp around his hips and I gasp at the tight invasion.

"Oh fuck," he groans, "Try to relax, baby." I loosen my grip on his hips and breathe through the fiery, yet exquisite pleasure my body is going through.

My heart soars as he stills once he's buried as deep as he can go, giving me time to adjust. "You okay, Lilly?" he asks in concern and my heart flips.

"Yes, just...just kiss me." I mumble, unaware of what I am saying, lost in the odd yet good feeling my body is going through for the very first time.

He presses his lips on mine, softly and gently, and he slowly rocks in and out of me, easing me in, filling my heart as he fills my body.

"Open your eyes, Lilly," He urges and I open them, not realizing they were even closed. I stare back at his face, I look into his eyes, into the dark blue I've been lost in for so long and I get lost again, I realize I want to stay lost forever, my lips parts at each movement and each thrust and he kisses me, again and again, swallowing down every moan and whimper.

The experience overwhelms every part of my body. It brings me closer to him. It connects us on a whole new level.

I want this. I want him. All the damn time. Every day. Every minute. Every second.

I don't know what triggers the tears, was it the intensity of the moment, was it the pleasure mixed with pain or was it the bitter truth of what tomorrow will bring.

Chase stills at the sight of my tears, "Baby, what's wrong?" Worry tightens his brows, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shake my head and hold onto him, "No, don't," More tears leave my eyes and I pull him closer, "Please, don't stop."

He wipes at the tears, and I mumble, my voice breaking, my heart breaking, "This is goodbye, isn't it?"

He understands and instead of answering, he says, "I love you, Lilly," he kisses me and steals every breath from his lungs.

"I love you so much," He mumbles it again against my lips, the pain in his voice destroys me, and I know that I want this, I want him, I want to get lost in everything we are rather in everything we aren't.

**************

Chase's POV

I woke up alone.

The arms that held Lilly all night long were empty now.

It was cold again.

I rubbed at my eyes and looked around the room, at the sanctuary that kept us locked in, at the bed where I took her again and again, where I showed her how much I loved her and needed her.

I hoped she'd see it, that she'd change her mind.

But now, she is just gone. Again.

My eyes fell on the nightstand to notice a folded piece of paper laying there. My eyebrows pulled closer and when I edged forward to take it, I noticed the blue ribbon laying on top of it.

I fisted the ribbon in my hand, then took the paper and unfolded it. My heart clenched tight as my eyes started reading the words written:

'I know it sucks that I am doing this over a small piece of paper, and you can blame me for this later and call me all kind of colorful names, I give you the permission.

First, I am very sorry for making you wake up all alone after such an amazing night, but Chase, I can't do this. I can't.

Goodbyes, they are something I am not good at. Standing and watching you walk away, that would kill me. No one ever left me before, I never had to say that goodbye before. So, how can I do it now?

Last night was perfect, last night you completed me in a way I can't describe or put into words (I can't believe you didn't let us do this amazing sex-thing before! You big SOB! You had to be a big pain in the ass and leave it to the last night and leave me craving for more!)'

I smiled, imagining her glare while saying this. I wish she said it to my face, instead of writing it down.

'That got off-topic so fast, anyways, I couldn't sleep, at all, I stayed all night staring at your beautiful face, you're so damn hot btw, you better not let those college girls near you. I am gonna make our child Conner watch you all the time!

Keep the ribbon with you. Don't you dare lose it. And five years later, give it back to me, okay?'

I knew what she was trying to imply. That five years later, no matter what, this will continue. She is trying to assure me that.

'P.S: I took my blue sweater (yours*, I know but it's mine from now on). I also took the beanie and the picture of little us. I gave them back when we broke up before, but they're mine now, deal with it.

Chase, my baby boo, just take of yourself, okay? Be happy. Live this experience to the fullest. Have fun. And if you ever need me, I will be one phone call away. Always.

Yours truly,
Lilly (Your little Ribbon)'

My heart fights through the mess of feelings I try to deal with. A heavyweight tries to press over my chest and cloud my mind, but for the first time, instead of feeling the bad, I concentrate on the good.

I concentrate on the last two months, on yesterday, on last night and I let everything else go.

I stare at the blue ribbon laying over my palm and I know, I just know;

This is just the beginning.

*************

Lilly's POV

In one hour.

His flight is in one hour.

One. Hours.

I press my palm over the mattress of my bed, and I curl my fingers over the sheets, twisting them in my palm to stop myself from getting up, from running toward the airport, from seeing him just one last time.

My troubled thoughts get interrupted by the knock on my door. My eyes snap there and I see dad standing by the doorframe, "Can I come in?" He asks, his eyes warily inspect mine as if trying to figure out if I was crying.

I nod and he walks toward me, "Why didn't' you come with us?" He asks and I just shake my head, unable to speak. They all went to say goodbye to Chase before he leaves, but I stayed here. I couldn't. How can I?

Our last memory should be last night. Not the image of him walking away. It can't be.

"Dad," I mumbled, feeling my voice on the verge of breaking down, "Can you hug me?"

Dad takes my hand in his and he pulls me off the bed and immediately into his arms. They wrap around my body and I bury myself into his embrace. I press my eyes shut to stop the tears but with no use, they fight their way out of my closed eyelids and I clutch into him, trying to hold into something instead of shattering down into a million pieces.

He tightens his hold over me, I feel his hand at the back of my head, I feel him press a kiss over my hair, "I can't see you like this," He mumbles in my hair, "Come on little bug, please."

I sniffle and for the first time, I whisper the words into his chest, "I love him, dad."

I feel him freeze for a second, drinking into my words, he doesn't over-react like he always does, instead, he asks me on a low-whisper, "What can I do?"

I pull away and look up at him, he immediately takes my face in his hands, worry due to my tears tightens his eyebrows and I mumble through my tears, "Can you stop the plane that's taking him?"

He takes my words seriously and shrugs, "I can try."

I chuckle lowly through my tears and finally make up my mind, I wipe at my cheeks, "Can you take me to the airport?"

He doesn't hesitate, instead takes my hand in his and pulls me out of my room, "Okay, but we need to hurry," He says, and I stare back at him, amazed by his calm reaction toward this.

Once we are in the car, he immediately starts it and pulls into the street, "You're the best, do you know that?"

He really would do anything just not to see my tears.

He gives me a smile, "Yeah, I know," He picks up the speed, "You're so lucky I am your dad."

I nod, "I really am."

I don't know how it takes us only fifteen minutes to reach the airport, but once dad stops the car, I am already making my way out, "I will wait here," I hear him say, a bit of annoyance in his voice, I just nod, and rush toward the entrance.

I look around and check the flight's number from my phone, the one I asked Conner to send me. I head toward the check-in aisles and my eyes search for him between the crowd of people.

My heart drops in my chest when I think I am too late. I make my way between the crowd of people, my gaze taking notice of everyone and everything. I search almost everywhere and pull my phone to call him, hoping he'd answer.

I keep walking, the phone to my ear, and the moment he picks up, "Lilly?" He says through the phone and my eyes fall onto his back, a few meters away from me.

I smile and jog forward, "Look behind you," I urge him through the phone, and when he registers my words, he turns around, his eyes falling on mine.

My pulse escalates and pure confusion flashes in his eyes. I don't give him time to react, I remove the phone from my ear and I rush forward, closing the distance between us, my arms reach for his neck, they wrap around it and I tiptoe, trying to reach his height as I hug him so tightly.

"What-" His arms wrap around my body, just as tightly, "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you," I murmured beside his neck, taking a huge inhale of his scent, enough to keep me sane for the next five years.

I pulled my face backward, my arms still around his neck, unable to let go just yet.

"I thought you're not good at goodbyes," He comments, his eyebrow raising.

I shrugged, "I still am terrible at it," I pull into a deep breath, "But there is one thing I couldn't write over the paper, I needed to say it to your face."

He gives me a questioning look, so I lean closer and kiss his lips, tasting them one last time, savoring them, "I love you, Chase," I mumble against them and feel his body tensing a bit, shocked at the confession, I look into his eyes and admit them once again, "I love you so much."

The look in his eyes steals every breath from my lung away. It's like he never thought he'd hear these few small words leaving my mouth. Like he needed them, like they were the only thing missing before he could let go and leave.

"You must be so proud of yourself right now," I remarked playfully, refusing to make this goodbye a sad one, "You're my first kiss, my first time," Tease fluttered all over my lips, "And my first love."

A beautiful smile curves his delicious lips and he nods, "It does feel good."

I chuckle lowly before I edge forward, rest my head over his shoulder and hug with everything in me. I press my eyes shut, "In five years, okay?"

He holds me just as tight, he nods and whispers, "Five years."

Promises were made within these two little words. A promise I believe he'd keep, a promise I intend to keep with everything in me.

But I was naive, I was young, and I was hopeful for what the future holds. I never once considered, how devastatingly five years can change everything.

I always look back on that day and I scoff, at how cliche it was; like those romantic comedies I always made fun of. The main lead runs off to the airport to confess her/his love to their significant other at the very last scene of the movie.

It usually marks the end.

I always look back and laugh. I was so naive.

It was only the beginning.

END OF PART ONE