"I'd learned that some things are best kept a secret."

************

Lilly's POV

There is seriously something wrong with me.

I am sure.

A couple of months ago, on my birthday, I kissed Chase. I was drunk and reckless. I just did it for the heck of it.

Never did it cross my mind that it will take me here. I kissed him and everything in my life turned upside down. I kissed him and caught feelings. Feelings so good and so very bad at the same time. Since that night, I've been going through the biggest longest hangover ever.

The thought of him doesn't leave me be. He is everything I can think about. He is everywhere. It's weird. It's exciting. It's annoying. I mean, I have homework, exams, and friends that I need to give some of my time and attention to. Instead, with every passing second, I just find myself ignoring everything and filling my head with him and only him. His smile, his lips, and his beautiful, panty-dropping eyes.

I am not eating. I am not sleeping. I can't concentrate on the simplest of tasks. I don't want to do anything. I just want to fill every waking available moment with him.

The way I am pulled toward him leaves me breathless. I've never experienced anything similar.

True, I've spent all my days crushing over Zack, building up our fantasy relationship in my head. He used to get me all wobbly and excited but he didn't ignite this fire inside my chest like Chase does. He didn't leave my heart pounding this much hard.

He didn't pull me toward him this fast and with this strength.

With Zack, it always felt forced. I did like him, a lot, but there was no chemistry there.

But with Chase, it's natural. So smooth. Our chemistry is off the charts. It's like I've always felt this way but now I just get to open my eyes and notice it.

One thing I am still aware of is that with Zack, I would've had the perfect typical high-school relationship. Because, that's all it will ever be. Temporary. That one relationship almost everyone goes through and learns from. The one where you discover yourself through. The first heartbreak that you laugh at years later but still feel glad that you had it.

I can't deny it, but as much as I am excited for the thought of Chase and me, sometimes, I feel like I am not ready at all. Not ready for something so serious.

With Chase, it feels like a forever.

With Chase, I might...no, who I am kidding, not might, for sure...For sure, I will fall in love. I already feel that I am heading toward that path. I am scared, that with Chase, I'd lose sense of who I am and get wrapped up in us.

Getting this much attached at such a young age, is not healthy. I am sure. It is dangerous.

All these conflicting thoughts lead me back to him and I just felt myself standing by his house, knocking at his door.

It opened and when his eyes fell on mine, all of my worries got washed away. He smiled at my sight and my heart stumbled a little, "Hey," He said.

I didn't waste a second as I marched forward and practically jumped on him. My arms wrapped around his neck as my lips crashed against his. I kissed him, pouring all my distress into the warm touch of his skin.

God, he tasted so sweet and refreshing, like the breath of air I was needing to fill my lungs with. Like I was suffocating, thrashing under the waves of my own crazy thoughts and he just pulled me out, breathing comfort into my chest.

His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer to his warmth.

When I retreated back, my hand went and cupped his face, I breathed in and out and a smile curved my lips as I finally responded, "Hey."

The sound of the whistle coming from behind him had me pulling away faster than I should. My eyes widened a bit when they connected with Conner, a big grin over his face and he crossed his arms over his chest, "So, this is what you guys do when you are alone!"

My throat bobbed and my eyes went back to Chase. His lips pressed into a thin line and nodded, "So yeah, Conner is here."

I bit at my lower lip and leaned into Chase, his arm went around my shoulder so naturally, like we're so used to this. Conner stepped closer and his eyes narrowed, "Is there something I am missing over here?"

I couldn't help my smile. Despite all my thoughts, this, it's making me giddy and all ways of disoriented. My eyes lifted to Chase and he looked down at me with that same look, like I am the only one there is in his world.

I sucked into a deep calming breath and looked back at Conner and shrugged.

He smiled and his eyebrow raised, "You guys are so cute," He said, "But I am gonna need details, last time I checked you two were fake dating, what happened?"

"We both kinda knew it wasn't fake," I said. It feels like I've always known.

His eyes went to Chase and he accusingly said, "Why you didn't say anything, then?"

"We didn't want anyone to know yet," He said and I nodded, "When people interfere, things gets ruined somehow," I added, "We wanted to figure it out by ourselves first."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," Conner said, sending me a wink, "But if you make me your third wheel, I am exposing you two, get it?"

I chuckled, "Don't worry, we'll find you someone as well," I said, "We can then have a double-date."

My heart flipped, liking the idea. Going on a date with Chase. Oh my god, having a boyfriend can be so cool.

"Anyway, I am gonna leave you two lovebirds alone," He sent me a wink before he walked up the stairs and I found myself blushing. Hell, Chase is making me such a girl.

I looked back at him and smiled, my arms went back around his neck, "What were you doing?"

"Packing," He sighed, "For tomorrow."

At that, a frown replaced my smile almost instantly and my gaze dropped down. They always go and spend Christmas with his grandparents. Sometimes, we join them too, but - much to my luck - not this year.

"I wish you didn't have to go," I mumbled, honestly.

His hand came to my chin and lifted it up, "I wish I don't have to either."

I pouted, "We are staying here, because my uncle is visiting us," I sighed as my fingers brushed over his cheek, "You know what, I miss the days when I used to complain about us spending Christmas together," He smiled, probably remembering all of my whining, "This is totally not fair!"

He leaned closer and pecked my lips, "I'll be back before you know it."

"Promise?" I asked.

He nodded and was about to say something when the door opened. We both turned around and saw as his father walked into the house.

At our sight, he smiled, "Lilly," he said amused. I returned the smile and waved my hand, then it hit me.

"Oh, is dad back as well?"

He nodded, "Yup, just dropped him off." He sighed, "Being on a four-hours flight with your father is not a piece of a cake, I tell you."

I chuckled, only at the image of dad annoying him for four hours straight.

I turned back to Chase, "I should go back then before the investigation starts," I mumbled, biting at my lower lip.

Chase smiled and nodded, "I'll see you tonight." I tiptoed and pecked his lips, totally forgetting that his father is a few meters away.

I gulped at my stupid action and waved goodbye before I ran out of there, embarrassed. I could hear Ashton's low chuckle as I walked away.

He said something to Chase but I couldn't hear it. As I closed the door, Chase's eyes connected with mine and he threw me a wink, the teasing smile curving his beautiful lips.

Ah, my heart. It stumbled, quivered and felt like it was about to burst.

Oh shit...I think, I think that I am slowly falling in love.

I am malfunctioning.

Told you, there is seriously something wrong with me.

**********

I took off my shoes and slipped into my slippers before I made my way inside, my eyes on the phone in my hand, texting Chase, because I feel like I've missed him already.

'You literally saw me ten minutes ago.' Came his reply.

'Couldn't get enough of you, your father came and interrupted.' I texted back, 'Tonight we better sneak of to somewhere, arrange that.' I added, sending a bunch of the eggplant and water droplets emojis.

With the smile still stuck to my face, I lifted my eyes up from the phone and looked around, searching for my parents. Their voices came from somewhere near, I walked toward the kitchen, ready to make my presence known.

"He said someone attacked them Cara," Dad's furious tone was enough to halt me in my steps, "You know exactly what that means!"

I stopped by the kitchen's door, their backs were to me as I listened, curious to the reason that could get dad this much riled up.

"Okay, calm down, we still don't know anything," Mom said, her tone a bit calmer than dad, she placed her hand over his arm, soothing him.

He blew out an exasperated sigh, "I just...I thought this was all behind us by now." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, "I just thought, I thought it was...over."

What are they talking about? I really don't understand a thing.

"Alex, we'll figure it out, okay," Mom said, even though she was the calm one now, her body looked so tense, "Somehow, we always do."

Dad's eyes fell on her and he seemed to regain someone of his calmness back. He inched closer and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to worry you like this," He left a tender kiss over her head, "I was already so tired and then Roman called, telling me about this and it all just added up."

"Did he say when he'll get here?" She asked, leaning closer to him, "So he can explain exactly what happened."

"In an hour or so," Dad answered.

"He said," Dad paused, as if trying to find the suitable way to let the next words out, "He said that the man knew about Max."

Knew what?

Mom's eyes widened and she pulled away, "How? How is that even possible?" She pressed her palm over her forehead, "We...we made sure that something like this won't happen."

Dad shook his head, the muscles of his jaw tightened, "I have no idea." He swallowed hard, "He said that...that he knew Nikolas too."

Niko..who?

Mom's lips parted a bit, but no words came out, "I still don't understand."

"Me neither." He answered.

I decided that was enough eavesdropping for now and headed up to my room. Too many questions roamed up my head leaving me beyond confused but I wasn't gonna intrude on them now and force some answers. Because for the first time ever, my dad looked this much angry, anxious and if not mistaken, a bit scared.

I could only wonder why.

Maybe when uncle Roman arrives, I can get to know more about this. Because really, I understand nothing.

*********

Just like dad said, almost an hour and a half later, uncle Roman arrived. I opened the door and at his sight, I immediately smiled, I really have missed him. I rarely see him.

Not till today that I started to wonder, how come he rarely visits us and how come we have never visited him?

Isn't it a bit weird and...suspicious?

His lips curved up, "And here is my favorite girl," He commented, ushering me to get closer as he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me so very tight.

I hugged him back but the many thoughts nagging at my head had me pulling away, faster than I should. The anxiety behind this had my nerves skittering with an unease.

I hate it when I don't understand what's going on. It is killing me.

Max jogged down the stairs and his voice pulled me out of my many thoughts, "Is that Roman?" He asked excitedly before his eyes fell on the door. He almost stumbled over the stairs as he jumped down, skipping through.

Uncle Roman chuckled and stepped inside the house and when Max arrived, he pulled him into a tight hug him as well.

When he pulled away, he kept his arm over his shoulder and messed his hair, "Stop growing up, you."

Max ducked his head away, "Where is Wyatt?" he asked, referring to our cousin, who is probably two or three years younger than Max.

I jumped in, "And where is your wife?" To be honest, I never liked that woman.

"They'll get here tomorrow." He answered.

Uncle Roman and Max walked inside. Max started enthusiastically explaining to him about his new playstation or something. I silenced their voices and shook my head. Guys.

When dad and mom walked into the room, I felt myself watching more closely, assessing their interaction. They looked normal as they talked with him, or maybe they were just pretending to be.

It's almost like nothing had happened.

There is something here, I can feel it in my gut, and I have a feeling that if I asked, I wouldn't get the answers I am searching for.

Time passed, everything going on ever so smoothly, we ate dinner all together and talked so casually. I just kept wondering, how were my parents able to pull such an act when they seemed to be so riled up about some news that uncle Roman has.

I helped mom gather the dishes, she went to the kitchen to take care of them and Max disappeared somewhere. Only dad and Roman were left. I pretended to be busy arranging the dining table back, but in the same time still wide aware of them.

Dad took the last sip from his wine and placed in on the table, he stood up and nodded his head to upstairs, sending his unspoken message to uncle Roman.

I watched closely where they're headed to and carefully followed after.

Sue me, I am a very curious person. If I don't know what's going on, I definitely won't sleep the night.

I walked up the stairs and immediately hid behind the wall when I saw dad close the door to his office room.

I ran to their bedroom, the balcony of that room is connected to the balcony of the office, which will allow me to hear everything they're talking about very clearly.

I tried to silence my footsteps and hid behind the pillar, finding the best position there is to eavesdrop at my dad and uncle. Yup, I am such a great daughter. But I can't help it, something is fishy over here and I want to know what it is.

I peeked over and saw my dad leaning against his desk, pouring some type of alcohol into two glasses.

Uncle Roman took it in his hand but he didn't drink, "I have no idea who he was, I have no idea if he was working for someone, I can't find anything about him."

"He didn't talk?" Dad asked, taking the first sip.

"Not exactly, considering I've killed him." He answered ever so casually and my eyes grew wide.

My hand covered my mouth to suppress my gasp. I was shocked, both at the fact that he just confessed that he killed someone and that my father didn't even look even a bit shocked.

He sighed annoyed, "Roman, what the hell?" He slammed the cup over the desk, "You could've at least got some information from him first."

He shrugged, so casually, "He attacked me at my house, what the hell was I supposed to do?"

"What do you know about him, then?"

"Well, he knows Nikolas, that's for sure, he mentioned him."

Again with this Nikolas.

"And he did say something right before I killed him." Roman said, I could see his finger's tightening over the glass, "He said that he's after Max," He blew out a low breath, "He said that he'll hurt him Alex, I couldn't think straight after!"

My heart painfully hammered against my chest and a weird type of fear seized at my inside. Why would someone want to hurt my brother?

What if someone actually did try to hurt him? The thought alone had me standing up, running away from this conversation that only seemed to double my confusion and fear.

I exited the room and stopped by the hallway still trying to understand the many things I've heard today. And still, nothing made sense.

What's really going on? What are my parents hiding from us?

I turned my head to the right when I heard footsteps nearing. My eyes fell on Max, whose attention was taken by the phone in his hands, totally oblivious to my presence.

"Max," I called his name.

His eyes lifted up and he pulled the airpod out of his ear, "Yeah?"

I walked closer and for some reason, no words made it out of my lips. As I stared at him, I couldn't help but recall uncle Roman's word.

Someone wants to hurt my brother.

I placed my hands over his shoulders before I pulled him closer. Wrapping my arms around his body, I hugged him. My eyes pressed shut, "You know that I would never let anyone hurt you, right?"

He stayed silent, and when I pulled away, his eyes were a bit wide, and he gave me some weirded-out looks. He placed the back of his hand against my forehead and his eyebrows pulled together, "No, you don't have a fever."

He narrowed his eyes and looked at me closely, trying to understand why I just hugged him out of nowhere.

His eyes went a bit wide and he looked around before he whispered, "Oh my god, you didn't smoke the joint I've hidden in the book, did you?"

"No, I am just worried ab-" My eyes went wide, "Wait, joint what? Hidden where?" I slapped his arm, "What the hell is the matter with you? Is there a thing you haven't tried yet!" I snapped annoyed, "You'll see, I am telling dad about this!"

He crossed his arms over his chest, "You wouldn't." He said, ever so confidently.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Why not?"

He shrugged, "You wouldn't want him to know that you make out with Chase in your room, would you?"

"You son of-" I started.

He gave me a wink, "Figured as much." He mumbled before he walked away, leaving me fuming by his never ending threats.

Ugh. Look at me all worried about him and the little shit starts threatening me. Maybe someone coming after him wouldn't be such a drastic idea, right?

**********

In the evening...

I was the first leaving the car and rushing to the door, beyond thrilled to see Chase again, tell him about everything I've heard and maybe get him to help me figure it all out.

The door opened and much to my surprise, it wasn't Chase. No, it was Zack.

What the hell is he doing here?

Oh right, of course he is going with Chase tomorrow. I keep forgetting that they share the same grandparents.

"Lilly," He says, smiling.

I nod, the smile barely making it to my lips, before I make my way inside. My parents following, they talk with Zack before we all enter the house.

I look around but Chase is nowhere to be seen. The room is crowded now, with my parents, Max and uncle Roman. Chase's parents, Zack and his mom. Even Conner is here, I could only wonder why. But the important thing is, where is Chase?

They were all talking, exchanging conversations when I felt a presence beside me. I looked to my left and saw Zack seat himself beside me on the couch. Great.

Not in the mood for you now.

"Hey, haven't seen you since the game." He commented.

"Yeah." I mumbled. Totally not interested in talking with him now.

Woah, how can my feelings toward him turn a hundred eighty degree this fast?

Really, I am so turned off by him right now. Finally.

Much to my relief, Chase walked into the room. His eyes didn't even go to me as he moved forward. Instead of sitting in the empty space beside me, he went and sat beside Conner. What the hell?

Zack asked something but I silenced his voice. I just nodded, totally ignoring him as I pulled the phone from my pocket and texted Conner, 'Go sit somewhere else.'

I watched as he opened his phone and read the text. His eyes went to me and his eyebrows pulled together, "Why?" He mouthed.

I rolled my eyes and texted him again, 'Just go sit somewhere else!!!!!' I hoped he'd sense the frustration in my text and apparently he did, because he immediately stood up and sat somewhere else.

I glanced at dad who looked way too busy talking to notice me and immediately scurried and sat in the now empty space beside Chase.

His eyes fell on me and when he didn't smile, I felt there is something off.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He didn't answer. Instead, he looked around the room before his hand came and held mine. He stood up and pulled me out of the room with him.

We walked to the backyard and when he stopped, I waited for him to talk first.

"Are you going with Zack to the Christmas party?" He asked, there was no accusation in his tone, he looked like he just wanted to hear the truth coming from me.

I sighed, "He asked me on the game night, I even forgot that I told him yes," I wanted to facepalm. I should've canceled that, "Chase, it was before you and I.."

He nodded, "I thought so," He didn't look angry and that calmed me down. He just looked so bothered by the fact, "It's just, it wasn't so great having him bragging about it in my face."

I shook my head, "I would never go with him, as a matter of fact, I will go now and tell him that I won't." I started to walk away but his hand wrapped over my arm, stopping me.

"Hold on," he smiled at how rushed I was to get it done.

"Chase, I meant it." I said sincerely, "When I told you that I want you, I really meant it, don't you trust me in that?"

He nodded without hesitation, "Of course I do," From his hold over my arm, he gently pulled me closer to him, "But, it's just...you liked him Lilly, a lot and just like that, he means nothing to you now." He sighed as he tucked the loosened strand of my hair behind my ear.

Something akin to fear flashed in the blue of his eyes, "I am just scared that this would be us in a couple of weeks."

A smile curved my lips, "You scared I will stop liking you?"

He nodded, "Do you blame me if I am?"

I shook my head, "But that won't happen." I placed my arms around his neck, "What I feel for you is different, so different from anything I've ever felt in my life."

My heart did that quivering again, "Chase Ryder, I can assure you," a teasing smile pulled the corner of my lips up, "I will never stop liking you."

At that, he mirrored my smile, "So that means?" He asked, ushering me to carry on.

I patted his shoulder, "It means we're forever, baby." I added and he chuckled at my tone.

"I think I like that." He said before he leant closer and pecked my lips.

"Me too."

Because I feel that even if this ended now. Even if we break up. One day, in the future we would have a second chance. I can feel it, deep inside. The type of affection blooming inside my chest toward this guy, it's one of a kind. That's I am sure of.

"How about we do some of the sneaking we texted about earlier?" He said, his tone teasing.

I chuckled, "As much as I would love that, you really have no idea how much I would want that, but first," I unwrapped my arms from around him, "First, I need you to help me in something."

He nodded, "Yeah sure, in what?"

"Get your car, we are going back to my house." I said as I started to walk toward the garage, "I need to find something."

"Find what?" He asked.

"Answers."

***********

I turned the lights of my dad's office on and ushered Chase to step inside as well.

"Will you explain to me why we're here?" He asked, his eyes confusingly roaming around the room.

I turned to him, "Because I have a fantasy of doing it over my dad's desk." I ever so seriously said and watched the panic slowly creep its way into his eyes.

I chuckled at his innocent expression, "I am kidding, I told you I need answers," I looked around the room, "And something tells me that I'll find them here."

"I still don't understand." He mumbled.

I walked forward and opened the cabinet's door, revealing the safe hiding behind.

"You're not planning on opening that, are you?"

"That's exactly what I am going to do." I mumbled and I crouched down and typed the password. I remember it. A date. It could be my parent's wedding anniversary, the first time they met, or when they started dating...I don't know, it's one of those.

The numbers flashed over the screen as I typed them before I pressed enter and a ding sound echoed, showing that it's unlocked.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Chase mumbled.

"Will you stop talking?" I asked annoyed as I twisted the knob and opened the safe.

Air caught in my throat and my eyes widened as they eyed the metallic thingie laying inside.

There was a gun.

An actual real freaking gun.

"So he wasn't kidding when he threatened me with the gun?" Chase gulped, "Good to know."

My heart knocked it up a notch and my eyes drifted to the safe's other contents. There were many files and papers. There were money as well but what grabbed my attention was the white box laying beside the gun.

I pulled into a deep calming breath before I took it out and placed it on the desk. I slowly removed the cover and looked inside.

It was full, with papers, some notebooks I guess, more files, some passports and ID's. There was a phone in there. An old one, if I am not mistaken.

I pressed the button at its side but just like I expected, it didn't open due to battery shortage.

I pulled the passport out and opened the first page. Just like I had anticipated, the passport had a name on it, a name I've heard quite a lot today.

The letters spelled the name very clearly; Nikolas Viarchi.

"Who is Nikolas?" Chase asked, confused.

"That's the million dollar question."

**************************

Hey! I'd have to apologize for being MIA, but July was one hell of a month for me, you have no idea.
My boyfriend and best friends all tested positive for COVID-19. I thought I had it too because I was in touch with them at the time, but tested negative, thankfully. I changed my job, I quit my old one and the whole process was beyond exhausting, not to mention that I moved to a new house. Also, someone hit my car from the back and I had a mini-car accident :(

My friend's fiancé died. It was so heartbreaking witnessing something like that. Ahh, it was hectic, i tell you. 2020 is definitely not my year or anyone's for that matter!

I have a ten days vacation now so I promise to update more regularly from now on, if nothing new happen! *crosses fingers*

Thank you all for being patient and thanks for all the nice messages I've received.

Love ya all!