I moved nervously through the crowd, my heart racing with each step, driven by the need to find Bella.
My whole body and mind just want her to be close, and I can't resist any longer.

Once again... I had no idea where to find her but, for some reason, my mind urged me to look at the bar.

Focusing my gaze, I searched for her in every areas, as the chaos was enveloping me.
FINALLY, I spotted an outdoor bar in the distance.

OH, GOD.
Bella was there.

Her red hair was beautiful, standing out among everyone else.
She leaned against the bar, eyes lowered, back turned, speaking softly to someone.
I tried to see who it was, but I couldn't.

I got closer, almost running, until I was right behind her... but she was still unaware of my presence.

My heart racing, my hands sweating, everything in me was just shaking, but I gathered all of my strength to speak to her.
"Bella..." I called her, my voice came out urgent.

She slowly turned and stared at me.
Her eyes widened with surprise and confusion as her hands trembled over the glass of her drink.

"What are you doing here...?" She urged.
She immediately looked behind me to see if I was alone.

"Can we talk...?" I stammered.
Bella's expression turned to defiance as she gave me a quick grin. "I'm already talking with... Sharon, here..."

SHARON...?

I immediately turned.
THE HELL?! The bartender! The same girl who flirted with Bella at the July 4th party when we were together.

I didn't fucking remember her name... and now Bella, probably shared hers... MH, OKAY.

I rolled my eyes as I nervously looked at Bella, whose smug expression made my stomach twist with jealousy.

I knew that her humor about this girl was hiding deeper feelings or conflict and I shouldn't take her seriously.
Still, that pissed me off...

"Yeah— you can talk with her later." I blurted out.

"Excuse me?! I'm right there!" That Sharon interrupted me.
We both ignored her.

I gave Bella my undivided attention.
"Can we just—can we talk in a quieter place?" I firmly asked.
She clenched her jaw as her face grew serious.
"Please..." I begged.

A light crossed her eyes and she stood up straight to face me.
Was that a sign of agreement?

I took a step forward, hoping Bella would follow me.
She did.
She took a small towards me and I let out a sigh of relief.

I walked faster, constantly turning around to check if she was still behind me.
She was.

I stepped into a quiet part of the garden, away from the noise and the crowd, where the music was just barely audible.

No one, but us.

Bella stood in front of me, but at a safe distance.
I really can't stand this distance anymore.

Our eyes locked and the wind blew, carrying her scent that overwhelmed me... it drives me crazy.
Her hair... was slightly wet and fell in soft waves, framing her forehead and falling over her bare shoulders.

And her dress—oh, her green dress—was just so hot and magnetic, hugging her curves in all the right places.

"I..." I sighed deeply.
"I need to talk with you." I urged her once again.

"How's dinner with your almost-husband? Was it fun?" She pressed me with a sarcastic grin.

I froze.
She probably heard about my dinner with Joe from Leo.

"No." I affirmed.
"That bad?"
I think she was both amused and frustrated knowing it.

"Hold on, Bella, I'm not here to talk about him."

Because I do want to talk about him, but not now.
Now it's just us.

"Yeah—let's just pretend he doesn't exist. Easy for you to say." Her voice sharp, eyes narrowing as she glared at me.

"No, it's not easy. It gets harder every seconds..." I tried to keep my voice steady, but it cracked.

She frowned, looking away as the pain was too much.
"We shouldn't be doing this."

"We aren't doing anything wrong, Bella, we are just talking." I replied urgently.
"And since when do you care about what others think...?"

"Since their opinion about you affects you."
"Not anymore." I pointed out.

An expression of defiance appeared on her face. "Why do you want to talk with me?"

I took a step closer.
"We need to. It's been almost twenty-four hours..."
Bella smiled sarcastically.
"That's exactly what we wanted. It's a win-win."

I shook my head. "No, it's not. You know better."
"HM, don't lecture me about it." Her voice was defensive, with a slight edge of stubborness.

"I know you are hating on me, Bella, and I understand why..."
I paused, taking a deep breath.
"I thought I could bear it, but it hurts more than I can say..." A sob escaped my lips.

She almost flinched, her eyes trembling as she seemed to truly felt the weight of what I was saying.

"Bella... I never wanted this."

She lifted her eyes towards me and her entire body tensed like a rope ready to snap.
"And what did you want?"

"Protect you. I just wanted to protect you."
Bella leaned back slightly. "I'm so fucking tired to hear this shit. Come up with another excuse." She snapped.

"That's the truth! And I will keep repeating it to you, so you could finally believe me." I insisted.
"From WHO do you want to protect me, Ellie? Let's hear it." She snapped once again.

"From everything. But mostly—from... me." I admitted.
Bella stiffened. She really wasn't expecting that answer.
Nor was I.

I looked straight into her eyes: "I wasn't afraid of you, Bella. I was just afraid of letting you in so you could see what was inside of me—the parts I've tried so hard to hide..."

"What's the point anymore...?" She sobs, her voice cracking in despair.

I took a step closer, she fortunately didn't move an inch.
"I need you to believe me, Bella. My heart aches for your trust—I crave it."

"You should protect yourself instead of me. Go back to your safe world." Her voice had a defensive tone.

"I want to be here."

"There's nothing for you here." She challenged me, but her voice trembled.

My heart ached for her; she was more hurt and scared than I ever realized. This hit me hard.
I have to hold on for both of us now.

"Don't say this, Bella... being here with you means everything to me."

"How can you not see it, Ellie? It's a disaster here. A fucking mess!"
She was desperately trying to sound more and more distant and detached to my eyes.

"Without you is just emptiness, Bella."

She caught her breath.
"Ellie, don't say anything you'll regret." Her voice softened.

"I had already told you that I'm not regretting anything."

"So, are we still pretending nothing happened, or is this a reunion?" That sharp, sarcastic voice again.

"I'm—I'm just trying. Please, don't reject me."
I begged her.

"You are the one rejecting me, Ellie! You think that I don't see the distance between us? Why do you keep pulling away?"

"Because..." My voice broke.
"I'm scared to see the hurt I'm causing you. I don't know how to handle it... it breaks me."

Despite Bella's attempts to maintain composure, her breath came in shaky gasps now.
"What do you really want, Ellie?" Her voice rose in despair.

I took a step towards her.
"I want you."

"Nice way to show you want me." She murmured.

I took another step closer, ignoring my heart trembling.
"The thought of you consumes me, Bella. I can't ignore it anymore."

Her expression shifted as I spoke; realization crossed her face, quickly replaced by a mix of vulnerability and contemplation.

"I'm so sorry." I breaks down.
I couldn't wait any longer.
"I'm sorry for what I've done, for how I'm making you feel."

"Do you pretend to know how I feel...?" Her voice was fragile now, above a whisper.

I took another step toward her because I felt deep inside that we both needed it.
"Your eyes tell a story, your lips won't, Bella." I replied softly.

She lowered her gaze, biting her trembling lips as if trying to shield herself from the intensity of her feelings.
I almost raised my hand to touch her, but I stopped... not knowing if she wanted it.

"You don't have to pretend with me, Bella."

"This is too much..." She sobs softly, raising her gaze.
I noticed how she is trying to hold back.
"Why?" I asked desperately.

"Because I'm standing right in front of you, and it's killing me, Ellie." She confessed.

The intensity in her voice cut through the air, vulnerable and overwhelming, as if she were laying her heart bare before me.
Mine shattered for her.

"My god..." My voice cracked.
I took a step back.
I took another step back.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!
I'M WRONG AGAIN.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, I should have known it—"
I trembled with the pain of not having understood her. Again.

I keep making mistakes, one after another.
I'm fucking clueless.

Bella's breath raced, her glossy eyes struggling between wanting to cry and the urge to stay composed.

It was because of me.
It was because of my presence.

"Perhaps— I should go."
I didn't have the strength to leave, but I turned, fighting back my tears, determined to go if it meant helping her.

Even though my heart wanted to stay, I had to leave.
For her.
And there is nothing worse than walking away from what you really want and knowing you may never have it again.

A/N
I'm back! And I hope you forgive for this chapter... I know it's VERY hard to read
🥲🥲🥲
Stay tuned for the rest of it because... the situation will take an UNEXPECTED turn for ALL the characters. ❤️‍🩹🩹🔥💣