We returned to the beach, I was lying on my chair and my eyes were not pointed at Joe, the sky, or the sea... but at Bella.

I catch her glance, and for a fleeting moment, the world narrows down to just the two of us.

There's a longing in her expression that mirrors my own, but something in her eyes—something sharp and piercing— twists in my chest.
Her jaw suddenly tensed and her whole body stiffened.

Then again she looked away, as if the intensity of our connection is too much to bear.

My pulse quickened, and suddenly the space between us feels suffocating.

These glances, though fleeting, are enough to remind me of what I can't have.
She's caught in the same struggle and that's definitely what I don't want.

I feel so clueless right now.
And empty.

What if seeing each other is making the situation worse?

I still can't get rid of the thought that my  proximity with Bella may lead to further hurt and I want to carry this burden alone... just so she doesn't feel the same pain that I feel.

"Joe... let's go for a swim." My voice came out from my lips with a sense of melancholy.
He didn't need to be told twice.

"Not here..." I whispered, "Let's go further out..."
He smiled, "That's music to my ears, Ellie..."

I stood up, and it takes everything in me not to turn around and look at her one last time.
I almost did, but I didn't.

~

Joe didn't know that every step I took away from her felt like a knife piercing my chest.
But I had to do it.

I looked up for a brief moment, I couldn't see her anymore.
"That's far enough." I faked a smile.

Joe took my hand and started running toward the sea.
As we float in the sea, he's caught up in the moment, his lips pressing against mine with intensity.

"Kid..." He calls me, his hands pulling me closer, enveloping me in a suffocating embrace.

I'm trying to let go of those lingering thoughts about her, but it's just a desperate attempt.

"I can't imagine my life without you, Ellie." He mumbled.
"You're the reason I'm better– without you, I'm lost." He kissed my neck and chest.

"I... really hope this is the right path..." I whispered.
"You mean the wedding?"
"Yes..."
"It's the right thing, kid." He doesn't really listen to me, he keeps kissing my chest.

I pull back a little to look him in the eye.
"I want to believe that things will get better between you and me." I said more seriously.
Joe grinned, "Hm, things are perfectly fine now, Ellie, you should be grateful for that... stop making problems."

Ouch. That hurts.

I let out a whisper that escaped my lips, more desperate than I had imagined.

"You're too sensitive... and it messes things up." He laughed a little.

His voice resonating in my mind like a reproach.
His words stung, but they were filled with just enough poisoned sweetness to leave me doubting my own self.

I sighed.
"I can't do anything about it..."
"All you have to do is stay with me and we're gonna fix it." He affirmed.
He squeezed my hips and kissed me passionately.

I look into his eyes, they are blue, but they don't give me a feeling of warmth.
They are just icy.

My gaze lingered on his short dark blonde hair, his jaw and his thin lips.
I try to trace their outline, but my mind keeps getting clouded by the image of Bella's plump red lips.

Her lips... Jesus.

"Do you really think I can fix it?" I trembled.
He smirked, "I want the best for you, Ellie. You'll listen to me, and I'll make sure we're always okay."

Why do I feel so anxious after this?
It shouldn't be like this.

~

As time slowly passing strange urgency was curling in my body.
"It's been too long already, Joe, we should go..." I urged him.

He is resting on my breast and caressing my thigh.
He smirked, still not loosening his grip on me. "Well, I lost myself in you, Ellie... and I think redhead and Leo have given up on us." He laughed.

"Her name is Bella." I stated, standing up abruptly.
He made a nonchalant gesture with his hand: "Yeah–whatever."

We started walking again, but I couldn't keep the words in my mouth anymore.
"I don't understand why you keep arguing with Bella. There must be some other reason behind it." I stated firmly.

Joe huffed loudly.
"She's to blame, Ellie– she's teaser. She is arrogant and cold, and she doesn't like me because I'm practically her boss."

Every word he threw at her was like a dagger, each one cutting deeper as my anger grew.

"Stop." I cut him off. "Bella is not like that." I affirmed, feeling the tension build within me.

"Ellie, you see the best in everyone, but you know her for three days. I know her more than you, she fucking works for me!" He insisted, resentment running through him.

"It doesn't matter how long." I affirmed.

"It does matter! It truly revealing the real personality of someone."

How little did he know...

"There are people who have known each other for a very long time and yet don't understand each other."
My voice trembled slightly, my gaze drifted somewhere, feeling the weight of my own words.

"Uhm... so you are telling that you know her?" Joe teased.
"I do." The syllables lingered in the air, soft and heavy.

He arched an eyebrow in mockery and disbelief, "And what is she like to you?"

My heart trembled.
"Bella is a very... gentle, empathetic, warm person." I replied, searching for the right words to convey just how special she was to me.
"And... she carries a light within her." My voice softening to a whisper.

His laugh rang out, sharp and tinged with sarcasm, cutting the air like a sudden chill.
"Duh. Shit, Ellie... you definitely miss the point completely."

"I know what I'm talking about."
A sense of strong defensiveness ran through my boundaries.

We were almost a step away from them; Joe took my hand and tightened it.
"We'll talk about that later, Ellie." He insisted.

What exactly was he supposed to tell me about her? I can't stop thinking about it.

I raised my eyes, my mind still wandering about it.
Bella was just a few meters from me.
Her gaze was so distant and detached now, a shield against me and my actions.
A blade on my chest.

Is that what I really wanted, though?
I wondered if I was only masking the pain instead of confronting it.

Each time I step back, I see the confusion in Bella's eyes, the flicker of hurt and resentment, and it tears me apart.

We returned to the boat and watched the sun slowly descend.
We walked toward the resort; I turned in Bella's direction several times, but she rejected me each time.

I deserved it. But still, that hurts.

We entered the elevator, Joe wrapped an arm around my neck.
I tried to hide, but that place was too small.

Joe and Leo said goodbye.
Before coming out, I turned nervously towards Bella, her fleeting glance was filled with hurt and a coldness that seemed to freeze any warmth left within her.

Mine was a look that spoke louder than any apology—full of remorse, sorrow, and... hope. Desperate trying to hold on to something—her.

The elevator doors closed, leaving me reeling.
My heart was beating too fast, and I thought my legs were about to give out.

As I entered my room, I rushed to the bathroom and told Joe I needed to take a shower. My tears mixed with the water, so no one could see.

I really didn't know what I had with Bella until it was gone.
My heart raced and with every beat, the realization hit me.

But is it really gone? How can it be gone?
It can't be gone.

I won't let her go anymore.

~

I was pacing back and forth in my room feeling a strange urgency building, when Joe opened the door after finishing his shower.
"Ellie, I want to stay with you tonight..." He approached me with a mischievous expression.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, starting to kiss my neck.
I tried to pull away, but his grip was firm.
"Don't run away." He murmured, his voice a mix of desire and determination.
I held my ground.

Suddenly, the idea I was looking for rushed into my mind.

"Let's go to the restaurant." I said.
"Ellie, damn it." His voice was desperate as he huffed.

"Just you and me." I insisted.
"Fine," He huffed again.

I couldn't stop myself as I quickly moved toward the closet to get dressed.
"Wear the black one, kid..." Joe said, pointing to the dress he wanted me to wear.

I ignored him as I took my white dress, instead.
This one was made in a soft, airy fabric that draped. Sleeveless, with heart shaped neckline, and knee-length.
I wore it immediately.

"What's going on with you, Ellie?!" Joe demanded, observing my strange behavior, which was not used to.
"Nothing," I faked a smile. "I'm just very excited about this dinner, Joe."

I brought up this dinner with Joe because I want to clarify what exactly happened involving Bella. Or at least, what he claims happened.

This unresolved thing has been going on for too long now.
And this dinner is the perfect chance to get some answers.

Joe and I FINALLY left the room.
"Do you know what Bella and Leo are doing?" I asked immediately.
I needed to know.

"Leo texted me that they are going to a party here..." He responded.
A party... here...
I remained silent as my mind wandered.

The anticipation hits me so hard.
The desire for her hits me so hard.

It felt like an Invisible Thread or force connected me to her, pulling me desperately closer in spite of my vain attempts to step back.

Well, at least I already know where I will go after this dinner...

A/N
I hope you liked this chapter as ELLIE FINALLY BEGINGS TO UNDERSTANDS HER FEELINGS... 🥲👏

Wait until the next chapter for this new secret ahahaha I hope you're on the edge!!!! 🫡😏