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Chapter Eighteen

~Thea's POV~

We leave three hours later.

I've done nothing; just stayed in my room, preparing for when I will have to leave. There is nothing I can do to prepare for it.

When I hear movement at the door, I do not react until Natasha says quietly, "We're leaving."

Numb, I get up. She lets me walk in front of her, then follows. Clint catches up to us a few paces down the hallway. He doesn't look any more different from normal, but he offers me a short nod as he leads the way.

We are taking a very small fighter plane. Natasha hands me a rucksack, which I assume has supplies (because heck knows where we are going), and then nods me towards the plane.

It's gotten colder and I shiver as I walk towards the plane. Dr. Banner and Steve are here to see is off- I'm thankful that Fury couldn't take off of whatever "important work" he has going on. I watch as Natasha and Clint walk up into the plane. Very vaguely, I see Loki moving around near the nose of the plane.

Not wanting to get on at the same time as him, I slow my paces, looking around the runway, folding my arms to try to protect myself from the biting cold, which is intensified by the hissing wind. 

"Good luck, Thea," smiles Steve, holding his hand out. Reluctantly, I shake it- clearly, he is much more enthusiastic than I am. He offers me another smile and claps me on the back gently before striding back towards the main level of the helicarrier. I'm not that sorry to see him go- I haven't really gotten to know him too well, and I think he's a little bit too cheerful for my liking. But at least he's nice to me.

"Hey," says Banner with a smile, interrupting my thoughts. I turn to him and he says gently, "Hey Thea, take care of yourself, okay?"

I nod a few too many times. "Um, bye."

"Try to control your anger," he says, glancing up towards the plane where Loki is just walking on board, not really having a care in the world. I avert my eyes as Banner says, a little less loudly, "I know how it feels, but try." He smiles again- trying to cheer me up, most likely.

Again, I nod a few too many times. "Okay. Bye."

"See you, Thea." He turns and jogs down the stairway, back to where Steve vanished.

"Hey Thea!" calls Clint, poking his head out from the plane. "Let's go!"

I clutch the straps of the rucksack tighter and then walk up the iron slope that leads to the plane, my steps pounding on the metal. Inside, it's only about ten feet wide and twenty feet long, and I can already tell I might be claustrophobic. There are four bunks, two on either side, stacked up on top of each other. Right in front of the walkway are the pilot and co-pilot seats. Clint is already in the co-pilot seat, which leads me to believe that Natasha will probably be flying it. Loki is sitting on the small bench next to one of the left ward bunks, and ignores me completely.

Seeing Natasha's things on the bottom right bunk, I scale the small ladder (nearly hitting my head at the same time on the low ceiling), draw back the curtains, and throw my rucksack on the mattress. Surprisingly, it's not that hot in here- actually, it's on the verge of chilly.

I climb back down the ladder, hitting the floor with a bang. I walk past Loki and crane my neck to see as Natasha climbs into the pilot's chair. "Hey, you might want to go sit down," she says as she puts on a pair of headphones. "It might get a little bumpy at first." She winks at me.

"How long are we going to be flying?" I ask, not wanting to stay in such cramped quarters long. However, the fact that there are sleeping bunks implies that it's at least going to be an overnight trip.

"Day and a half," she says.

I have two choices regarding seating. The first is the bunk and seeing as the second is the metal bench across from Loki, I climb the ladder again.

"Not too keen on my company?" asks Loki, who has stood up and is on his way to the pilot's seats.

Ignoring him, I pull back the curtains, providing me with an area I can sit up in.

The force is so sudden, I don't have to react. With a violent lurch, the plane vibrates and begins to zoom down the runway. I grab ahold of the pole and brace myself as the plane tips back. I look out the window- we are going closer and closer to the clouds, although the majority of my view is blocked from the large propeller on the side.

As we begin to climb higher, I begin to feel dizzy. Thinking that it's just the effects of the sudden take-off, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. But that's when I see Kafrandi.

~Nobody's POV~

With a whine, the plane begins to level out. Natasha speaks into her headphones, which crackle. Barton, calm as ever, grips his quiver and leans back in his chair. Sliding on his sunglasses, he comments, "Good weather for this."

Concentrating more on the controls of the plane than on Barton's words, Natasha says, "Unless we hit the storm that's chasing us." She says something indescribable into her headphones again, which Barton assumes is for the attendants on board the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier. "But-"

"Thea? Thea!"

Natasha jerks her head around at Loki's voice, which has an air of anxiety to it that she doesn't like. "Clint what is it? I have to keep my eyes on-"

"It's Thea," says Clint, unstrapping himself from the co-pilot's chair. "Something's wrong. She's on the floor and bleed-"

"She's on the floor?" yelps Natasha, trying to keep her eyes on the sky in front of her. "Clint-Loki-what's going on?"

Clint jumps out of the seat and hurries over to where Loki is already crouched over Thea, his hands on her shoulder. The girl is jerking around on the floor- her eyes are closed tightly and she is muttering to herself. Her skin glistens with perspiration and she is breathing hard. There is a cut on her forehead from where she must have hit her head while falling to the floor- it glistens red.

"Thea," whispers Clint, "Are you-"

"She can't hear you," says Loki in a hushed voice. He shakes Thea gently, but gets no response. If anything, she just begins to twitch more. Her mutterings get louder.

"What's going on?" calls Natasha.

"I don't know!" says Barton anxiously.

"If you boys can't figure it out," she threatens furiously. "Don't make me get back there!"

Barton kneels down next to Loki. "You know what's happening, don't you?"

Loki looks up from where he has been watching Thea and meets Barton's eyes. "Not completely."

"Is she oka-"

"She's fine- in a sense. If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that the Nitiri is no longer inside her."

"How do you know?" Clint demands.

Loki takes Thea's arm, which is still trembling as she begins to moan. He flips it around so that Barton can see the underside, palm up. "Look at her veins," says Loki quietly, running his finger down her arm. "They are blue. If she had the Nitri in her still, they would be burning black and hot to the touch."  

Barton sighs. "Then what's-"

But he is interrupted as Thea's eyes snap open. She gasps, her chest rising up and down as she sucks in air. Her eyes are wide and wild.

"Thea," says Clint. "You okay?"

She nods slowly.

Loki lets go of her arm, then says, "What did you see?"

"Is she okay?" yells Natasha.

Cling gets up and walks over to Natasha. Loki, however doesn't pay the slightest bit of attention to them- his focus is on Thea. "What did you see?" he repeats.

"Ka-Kafrandi," she whispers. "And Lahfryi. He's angry. He knows Leah and I are g-gone." She closes her eyes.

"You are not in pai-"

"No."

Loki peers down at her for a few minutes. Then, he says, "You need to rest." When he tries to help her up, she slaps his elbow.

"Get the hell away from me," she spits. Trembling, she manages to sit up. "I don't want you pretending to be nice just because Thor wants you to."

Standing, he crosses his arms. "Who told you that?"

"Lucky guess," she says.

"And again, you display such perception, Thea!" he says sarcastically.

"Don't kid yourself, Loki," she snaps, apparently beginning to feel better. "You are a trickster and you are a liar."

"Well quite frankly, I'm speaking with a hypocrite."

She ignores this comment, mostly because she doesn't know what to say and instead says, "When have I lied?"

He smiles widely, his high cheek bones prominent. "It would take perhaps a few hours to recount, Gianna."

She turns scarlet, then snarls, "Don't push me."

Loki has a reply for that, but realizing that she is on the brink of anger, he bites his tongue and turns away. However, he adds over his shoulder, "Move to the lower bunk. I have no desire to have to catch you if you fall into another one of these stupors."

"Why do I always have to do what you say?"

"Because you know better than not listening."

There is no room for argument in his voice, and Thea knows it. She manages to sit up and drag herself into the lower bunk. Physically, she doesn't feel very tired, but she doesn't want to have to battle with life for the moment.

She doesn't fall asleep-she just listens to the sound of the whirring of the propeller, the beeping of the machines, and the low voices speaking in front of her.

*

"Hey, wake up. Do you want something to eat?"

Thea blinks and slowly, the form of Natasha Romanoff comes into focus. She is holding what appears to be a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap. Thea sniffs appreciatively- she hasn't been hungry for a while. "Thanks," she whispers, sitting up drowsily and taking the sandwich.

Natasha sits down next to her, both of them having to move forward so as not to hit their heads on the bunk's ceiling. "We've heard from Tony," says Natasha quietly.

Thea jerks her head up, not even comprehending that both Barton and Loki are sitting on the metal benches diagonal from the girls, watching her. "What is it? Is she-"

Natasha smiles. "She's fine. But Tony says she misses you."

"Oh," says Thea, feeling yet another twinge of regret in her chest. Subconsciously, she looks up to see Loki looking right back at her. She averts her eyes. "Where are they?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. But they're safe."

"Um, can I ask something real quick?" Thea asks, tearing off another slice of bread from the sandwich. When Natasha nods, Thea asks, "Who's flying the plane exactly?"

Natasha laughs. "It's on autopilot. We're fine."

Thea nods, again not noticing as Barton and Loki turn away and begin conversing quietly amongst themselves. After a few minutes of silence, Natasha says, "When we get to location, how about Barton and I begin to train you?'

Thea looks up at Natasha's dark, understanding eyes that analyze her softly. Then, she nods. "Yeah."

Natasha leans forward, glancing back at Thea. "You know there is someone else onboard that you could learn from, don't you?"

"Wh-" Thea stops suddenly, knowing who she's talking about. "There is no way on earth-"

"I know you hate that idea." Natasha smiles. "And so do I. Honestly, I don't want him to teach you anything. I just wanted to see how you would react."

Thea crosses her arms and leans back, nearly losing her balance at the absence of a backboard to lean on.

"By the way," Natasha says. "Tony has a couple messages for you."

"Messages?"

"He's relaying them from the others. He said that Thor wanted to know that he is very proud of you."

"For what?" Thea asks dully. "I haven't done anything. I've made everyone's lives worse."

"No," Natasha says. "You've made them better." She glances out towards the window, towards the sky. "In my line of work, you don't know very many strong people. Lots of people give up easily, too easily, and don't pay attention to the little things."

"I almost gave up," Thea whispers.

Natasha glances back at her. "What do you mean?"

Looking at her hands, she mutters, "Nothing."

Natasha shifts so that she is facing Thea more. "You can tell me."

Thea's lip trembles and for the longest time, she doesn't speak. Then, she says very quietly, "After that day at lunch, when I started yelling at everyone and at Leah, I went into the observatory. Nothing of what anybody said mattered, not even Thor and heaven knows not Loki. I didn't... I didn't... I was scared. I felt dead already. I wanted out. At that point, I knew that Leah was fine- I wasn't worried about her." Her voice wavers. "After...after Loki and Thor left, I found a dagger lying on the floor a little ways away from me, near the deck."

Natasha goes cold. Neither of them know it, but now there is a third person listening to the conversation, and he is just as concerned as Natasha.

"I...I was scared," Thea says, tears coming out of her eyes. "And I guess the Imeldi poison was influencing me." She begins to speak quicker. "I was tired of everything. I was tired of the pain, of the stress, and of everything. I was sick of watching my sister suffer, of feeling trapped, of having to endure Loki's taunts, of the guilt I was feeling, of everything."

Natasha puts her arm around Thea, and the girl leans into Natasha's shoulder, beginning to cry harder. "I almost did it." she whispers. "It looked so pretty in my hand, so friendly. One thrust of the handle..." Natasha winces. "And it would all be over."

"What changed your mind?" Natasha asks softly.

"Leah," she sobs, "And my parents."

For a while, Natasha just holds her, rocking her back and forth. Natasha's eyes are troubled and sick with sympathy for Thea. Glancing up, she notices two things. One, that Barton and Loki had stopped talking. Two, that they were both looking over at Thea with expressions of concern. And of guilt.

*

~Thea's POV~

The moonlight shines through the windows of the plane as I wake up. I don't know why I did at first, but then I realize it is because of movement in front of me. Sitting up, I try to squint in the darkness, trying to see, but I can't. Then, I hear a voice.

"Why are you not sleeping?"

I sigh, sinking back into the pillow. "You woke me up."

Slowly, Loki's form becomes clearer to me in the darkness. "I see."

For a while, neither of us say anything. Then, Loki sits down on the bunk across from me, no more than three feet in front of me, then holds something in front of me. "Does this look familiar?"

I can't see what it is, but then I gasp as the something flashes in the light and feels cold on the palm of my hand. My hand turns clammy as my eyes take in the sight of a silver dagger, encrusted with a green jewel on the handle.

I drop it with a clang on the ground. Above me, Natasha shifts, causing the ceiling above me to groan, but I doubt she wakes up.

Loki leans down and grabs it. "I rather thought so."

"It's yours?" I ask, not believing it.

"Yes. I had misplaced it on the first day, and I now know why it ended up in the observatory. But, you see Thea, until that day, I had not been in that room."

I don't say anything.

"Which leads me to believe that someone took it and had been hiding it." It is not a question, but then again, there is no doubt in Loki's voice.

I don't say anything.

"Although I'm impressed on how you managed to slide that dagger from my grasp, I'm rather appalled at your intentions for using it."

"Are you?" I ask snidely. "What's one more of my family dead because of you?"

"That's not what I am asking. I am asking why you almost took your life."

"Because I wanted it to be over!" I snap.

Loki doesn't say anything for a minute. Then, he gets up and sits down next to me. Immediately, I try to get up, but he grabs my arm, saying, "Thea, I am not often this willing to understand, and if I were you, I would take advantage of it."

Knowing full well I will not be able to shake him off, I slouch back onto the bunk. "I'm not telling you anything else," I say grumpily.

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to listen, although heaven knows that I very well will not be able to get through two sentences without your interruption."

I scowl.

"I do not regret my actions from the past- there is no point on dwelling on them, and as I still think I was in the right-"

"In the right?" I laugh. "What the hell-"

"See? Not even two sentences and you're off."

"I hate you."

"Always your best response," teases Loki, and I am surprised that there is no malice in his voice. His tone changes to more seriousness. "I do not regret what I have done. However, I ask this of you: do not make the mistake of believing that the world is full of darkness."

"Isn't it?"

"Well, I'm rather inclined to believe it is as well. You see, Thea, we share this trait- this grudging sense of hatred that we do not allow to resurface."

"You seem proud of that."

"I am not. But there are things in people that we cannot change."

"You're wrong. People can change."

"Perhaps you are right. But listen well, because I am not going to repeat myself-"

"Because you're so nice." I smirk.

"Would it please be possible for you to shut up?" he snaps.

"Just when I was beginning to think you are nice." I snap back.

Loki rolls his eyes. "I imagine your parents often had trouble with your tongue."

"It was more me having a problem with my tongue."

"Whatever the case, I pity those who try to take authority over you."

"I guess you pity yourself then."

"Again, I applaud your art of perception. Now it's very late, so you best listen, because tomorrow will be a long day."

"Now when have I heard that before?"

He ignores the interruption, "I know your shadows, your past, and your present are all haunting you, Thea, as they are haunting myself. I am also aware that I cause a portion of this pain."

"You're not going to say you're sorry, are you?"

"Of course I'm not, because I'm not sorry. I don't treat you any more than I would treat anyone else."

"So you treat everyone else like a pile of dirt?"

He raises his eyebrows. "If that's what you want to think. But, Thea, I ask one small thing of you. Do you think you can do this?"

"Depends."

I swear, I see a glimmer of a smile on his face. "I ask this of you: do not try to take your life again. It's cowardly and wrong, no matter how much pain you are in. Am I clear?"

"Are you going to threaten me again with my worst nightmares?" I say snippily.

"Not presently, although push me much farther, and I just might. Now answer my question, although we both know your word is nothing."

I sigh. "Fine, I won't."

"You won't what? I know you, Thea-"

"You don't know me!" I snarl.

"Fine, whatever you wish. But we both know that you will try to twist things in your favor. Now answer my question completely. And, if possible, correctly."

"Fine, Loki. I won't ever try to kill myself again, because apparently you care about me and you actually do have a heart." I say the last portion sarcastically.

"Well, the last bit is incorrect, but other than that-"

"It was sarcasm."

"Oh, good. In that case." Loki stands up. "I will hold you to your word, Thea. And do not make the mistake that I trust you."

"Works out well," I sneer. "Because I don't trust you either."

Thanks for reading!!!
BM Fact #7: 

One of my original ideas was for Leah to die during the Imeldi attack. But then, I hated that immediately... for obvious reasons.