CHAPTER NINE.
BETRAYED AGAIN

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The thoughts didn't seize. They came back to bite her, to haunt her, and make every waking moment a living hell. It drew her in, those moments of innocence with her parents, the summer holidays she spent in the garden with the Malfoy Manor, and times where she would spend hours playing board games with her best friend and winning because they always played Clue or Monopoly and wasn't hard to beat her.

But those thoughts haunted her. Every dream was a memory she wanted to forget. Every dozing off was a recalling of a simpler time that she just wanted to go back to and enjoy even more than she did when she was younger. That was until it was time.

She saw the way the snow was starting to fall, starting to stick to the ground and become piles. She would sit inside, sitting on that window ceil in her dorm room, watching it with fearful eyes that no one had the answer for because Christmas was coming faster than she wanted until it was there.

It was there and she knew it. She knew not because of the cheer coming from her classmates as they excitedly told their friends their plans for the break or because of the many complaints Corey made about spending time with his family or even because of the mistletoe that was sprinkled around the school because of the Weasley twins trying to set up people they wanted together even though McGonagall made it clear she didn't like that. No, she knew it was there because of that dark feeling in her gut that told her something bad was going to happen.

The plans had been made. She had received one letter from Anastasia, the first letter she had received since her first year, confirming that she was going to spend the start of the break with her aunt and uncle in France. But it wasn't France, it was far from that paradise, it was hell. She was going to hell.

Anastasia didn't know she was sending her adopted daughter to former and renewed Death Eaters. She didn't know that all Amandla wanted to do was beg for the woman not to let her stay with her family. She didn't know anything, so Amandla couldn't say anything.

She boarded the train with her two friends, with every fiber in her body telling her to turn back and stay at Hogwarts, and listened to them quarrel over TV shows, movies, and everything else they were passionate about. She said nothing, hating about what was going to happen once the train ended.

Then it did. The train ended and she received her luggage and made a quick dash to the ladies room before anyone could spot her. She wouldn't run, only cowards did, but she did look at herself in the mirror. She wanted to cry, to scream, to plead for it all to go away and for them to leave her alone. Only, she gulped, splashing water into her face and walking out again to the hidden spot she was going to meet her aunt and uncle.

Of course, they were waiting on her. Draco was there, looking at her with a sad expression, and so were his parents, Lucius holding a stoic look and Narcissa refusing to glance at her.

"Where were you?" Lucius asked, a cold tone in his voice that threw Amandla off. That tone had never been used with her before.

"The bathroom," was all she said, causing the others to nod. They said nothing more as the four of them Apparated back to the Malfoy Manor.

It was midday. The day itself was beautiful, that kind that reminded her of the other times she had spent winter holiday with them and Draco tugged her outside to seize the day and use the sunlight while they could, but it was different now. No one made conversation as Lucius turned away from them and went to his study, Narcissa made herself (only herself) a cup of tea and Draco didn't look at her.

Sighing, Amandla brought her bags to her room that she had always resided in during her stay with the Malfoys. It was basically bare and dust was collecting on every surface, but as she went to the dresser, opening the topic drawer to the right, she saw all the stuffed photographs she had taken during her stays before.

Picking up the top one, she saw Draco smiling and laughing, his head falling back as he let the laughter take over and his Adam's apple bobbed. It was her favorite photograph of them because it was so carefree. He was the Draco she loved, not the one she hated because he was as stuck up as others at Hogwarts. That Draco was gone, and didn't think he was ever coming back. Too much had changed since that photo had been taken, even though it was only last year during Christmas.

Placing the photo back down in the drawer with extreme care, she closed it and turned away, tears already prickling in her eyes from all the emotions she tried to keep in. Taking in a sharp breath, Amandla went to the bed.

She needed to forget. She needed to escape from all the secrets she held with her family, all the challenges it came with and commitments it made her make. She wanted to run away, to ride for the rest of her life and become someone new. She wanted to be different. She wanted to wake up tomorrow a different person without all these responsibilities she never wanted.

And she stayed in her room for the whole night, never leaving until it turned dark and she heard the others tell their goodnights and there was a whisper from the other side of the door wishing her good dreams. They didn't know she wouldn't have that, but she didn't correct them, she didn't want to talk.

But the morning came all too fast, and she dressed herself neatly, knowing that they didn't like pajamas when you came to breakfast. She also knew that she had to leave, it was that day she was going to talk to Bellatrix LeStrange,

The family was shocked to see her there for breakfast, but said nothing about it, something she was grateful for. She didn't speak, and they didn't speak to her, until there was a large bang at the door – not a knock – signaling the arrival of Bellatrix.

Amandla sighed, knowing that this moment was everything she feared because it would decide everything. There was a loud complaint from the LeStrange woman, booming around the house until she reached the dining room.

"Well, if it isn't Little Miss Fitz," she cackled, "Your parents betrayed us just for you to end up here! Isn't that a little thing called karma?"

She laughed wildly, but Amandla didn't respond. She hated it, she hated every word that she spoke because it was all true. They ran away only for her to become the thing they wanted to protect her from. She hated it.

"I say, we should get the Dark Lord here right now and brand her," Bellatrix went on, "Just show Gwendolyn and Isaiah from beyond the grave what we can do."

"Bellatrix, please, isn't there any way we could wait until summer?" Narcissa pleaded with her sister, hoping that she would show the girl mercy.

"Why? Give her time to run away?" she questioned the younger woman, "Are you pleading with me to save her when you so willingly gave her up before?"

This caused Amandla to turn and look at Bellatrix with horror. "What?" she whispered, trying to comprehend what the woman had just said.

Draco, behind her, widened his eyes at that. She wasn't supposed to know, the guilt of what his parents did eating him up. He promised not to tell her, destroying him. He couldn't handle looking at her, the girl thinking that it was her fault for sending the letter that gave her away when she had nothing to do with it. That's why he had to leave.

"They didn't tell you?" Bellatrix asked loudly, "Sissy, you never told her, did you? Afraid she would hate you if you did?"

"Bellatrix, please, don't," Narcissa begged, "Don't tell her. Please!"

She cackled, "You did this to yourself, Sissy." She then turned to Amandla, "Lucius ratted you out to save his own ass! He failed before, like he always will, and gave you away to save himself! What did they tell you? The Dark Lord searched through their minds? No, that wasn't needed, he just gave you away and Sissy here confirmed it – no magic needed."

Amandla started shaking. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her only family ratted her out, her only family betrayed her. They broke everything, they ruined her, they made her feel guilty, thinking it was all her fault, and she could never forgive them.

Not caring anymore, Amandla stormed away, going upstairs to her room. She slammed the door, letting the tears fall as she went to that drawer with all the photographs she had taken. The first one she took out was of her aunt and uncle. She ripped it to shreds. She did that to every photo that represented any happiness she had with them, the tears clogging her vision until she reached her favorite one.

Draco was laughing, like he would always do in that photo. Bellatrix said nothing about his involvement, but she knew that he never told her. He protected them. So she ripped it to shreds as well.

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She thought the day after that meeting. She went back to 12 Grimmauld Place, leaving in the night and showing up there to Molly Weasley's open arms, holding her close as she was about to cry.

They were eating dinner. All eyes were on her and no one spoke until Anastasia stood up. "I thought you were in France," she said in a cold voice, reminding her of Lucius.

"Family reunion didn't go well," was the only thing Amandla said before sitting down, "I decided to come back early."

"Wait, I thought your parents died," Ron looked at her with a confused look.

"They did," she let out a shaky breath, "I still an aunt and uncle of sorts."

And that was all she could remember from that night. She went to sleep in the room her and Cevira shared and she didn't speak. She didn't want to do that yet, she just wanted to be alone and forget. She didn't want to talk.

Morning came and everyone got ready to meet Arthur Weasley in the hospital. Amandla had been informed that he was attacked recently, and that she was all she knew. They met up with him, had a short conversation before Amandla went away with Cevira, Hermione, Ron, and Harry.

They walked down the hallways in silence, not that Amandla minded, until a voice was heard behind them. "Hullo," the familiar voice spoke. They all turned to see their old professor; Gildroy Lockhart.

"Professor Lockhart!" Hermione squeaked, but all he did was look at them with a puzzled expression.

"Professor? Me? Did I really? Well, I expect I was hopeless at it!" he rubbed his hands together, "Now, I'll expect all of you will be wanting my autograph."

"Uh, sure..." Harry agreed, not knowing what all to say. Amandla and Cevira looked at the three confused, not knowing why he was there in the first place.

Then, a Healer came and sighed in relief at the sight of their old professor. "Ah, there you went, Gildroy. He keeps wandering off, handing out autographs, don't you know? It's a good sign toward recovering his memory, the poor dear."

"Yeah, sorry about that, mate," Ron sheepishly apologized, thought Amandla didn't know why.

Lockhart looked at him confused, "Have we met?"

"Yeah, it was my wand that backfired on you," Ron admitted, and Cevira chocked.

"What?" she finally got out, looking at Amandla with a 'what the fuck' expression on her face.

"Was it?" Lockhart asked, ignoring Cevira's question, "What a coincidence!"

Then, the Healer took the old professor through the double-doors that were there. Even though she didn't want to, she saw the other four following through the doors, so Amandla did too.

The Healer sat Lockhart down before turning to them, "This is our long-term resident ward, for permanent spell damage. Well, I must go..."

Ron paled at her words, thinking that someone was going to spend forever in the hospital because of him. Amandla placed her hand on his shoulder in a comforting motion.

"Come along, Neville," they heard a loud voice, causing Amandla to flinch. It was loud, demanding, and it reminded her of Bellatrix and everything she had told her.

All the lies, the secrets, the guilt the Malfoy family gave her and she didn't even know until then. It made her think about the others things they could've lied about. But, besides that, the five turned around to see Neville with an elderly woman.

"Hey, Neville!" Ron yelled, catching the attention of a beet-red Neville with looked away as quickly as he turned. The elderly woman, though, gave them a long look.

"Friends of yours, Neville?" she paused before realizing who one of them was, "Ah, yes, Harry Potter. Good to meet you, finally. And a Weasley. And you must be Miss Granger. Neville's mentioned you," she then turned to the other two, "You must be Cevira, I know a lot about you," Cevira flushed, "And you...I don't think I know you."

"Amandla Stature," she mumbled, hoping the old woman would hear her and she wouldn't have to repeat herself.

"Who're you visiting, Neville?" Ron then asked once the name conversation was finished.

The elderly woman turned to Neville, "You haven't told them?" She looked a little disappointed, a look that Amandla knew well from her childhood.

"Told us what?"

"Neville's dear parents were tortured into insanity by You-Know-Who before he disappeared. Aurors, you know, very well respected," she said proudly.

Just then, a dazed woman, assumedly Neville's mother, emerged from behind a curtain. She beckoned Neville close, who goes to her before gently placing a candy wrapper in his hands. Amandla's heart broke from the loving and thankful expression on Neville's face, as if that was the only love he received from his parents.

"Another one, Alice?" the elderly woman asked, "All right, come on, Neville."

The Gryffindor boy followed after her, still staring at his mother, who smiled at him and then disappeared again. He looked at Harry before finally leaving, slipping the wrapper into his pocket as if it was his most prized possession.

"I never knew...poor Neville," Hermione's voice was full of sympathy, but she didn't understand.

She didn't know what it was like to lose a parent, or have them there but not there. She didn't know, and Amandla hoped she would never know.

All Amandla wanted to do was go after Neville, tell him that everything was going to be fine and that she understood because she too lost her parents and she knew what it was like. But she didn't. She stayed there, a heartbroken expression on her face because she understood. She too would treasure a candy wrapper if she could have it from her mother.

They left them. They left the hospital and went back to 12 Grimmauld Place and Amandla retreated to her room without speaking to anyone until the days passed and there was yelling and Amandla was flinching uncontrollably because memories were controlling her brain.

Cevira came into the room with a sympathetic expression written on her face as she brought in Clue. "I brought a distraction," the girl tried.

Amandla smiled, getting up from her ball on her bed and went to sat on the other one. "Thank you," she spoke finally, the first word she had spoken since she arrived at the house. "And I'm sorry that I've been a horrible friend lately, there's just been a lot going on with me."

"I won't pry," Cevira said with pursed lips, "But I hope you know that you can tell me anything. I'll always be here for you, you're my family."

The Fitzgerald girl smiled. "I know, but I don't want to burden you with my problems – I have a lot of them," she chuckled slightly at the long list of them.

"You're my best friend, Amandla," the other girl said sincerely, "I've always come to you with my problems, and you've listened, but you've never come to me with yours."

"There just family problems," Amandla sighed, "There's so much wrong with my family I don't even know where to begin. They lied, they betrayed me in a way, and I just can't handle them anymore."

"I'm sorry," Cevira sincerely told her, "I didn't know that. Amandla, you are probably the strongest person I know. Keeping all of that inside and you still haven't broken...that would never be me. I couldn't handle that."

Amandla thought about that. She was surely broken, she was surely broken beyond repair. Everything with them destroyed her, everything surrounding her past broke her every day and she wasn't sure if anyone could ever love her.

Who would want a broken girl when they could have a whole one? Why would Hermione Granger love her when she could love Ron Weasley, like she did. No one would ever love her, no one ever could, especially once summer came. Especially once she was branded for life and had her life permanently ruined.

But Amandla didn't say any of that. It was clear that she was Cevira's hope because no one else knew that she was broken. Instead, she smiled, picking the cards and shuffling them again to get ready to play.

She needed a distraction. She needed to forget everything that had ever happened to her, and she especially needed to forget the screams from Harry Potter downstairs. She needed her best friend there, to help her forget and make her laugh, she needed that. She needed Cevira to do what she did best; make her feel like the world wasn't falling apart. And that's exactly what she did.