I couldn't sleep.

After I parted ways with Arthur, I took a long, hot shower, cleaned my sword then went to bed. I had been turning and tossing for at least an hour.

The cherubs in the ceiling stared back at me, their blue eyes clear in the dark room.

It didn't take a genius to guess the reason sleep wouldn't come. The last time I slept, I had woken up with blood drenching my hands and mouth. Who's to say that if I slept again, I wouldn't go looking for a midnight snack? 

Maybe that was a side effect of the spell breaking; turning into a sleep-walking bloodthirsty zombie.

My heartrate picked up at the thought. This was ridiculous. I needed sleep.

I picked up my sword and left my room. Arthur's was nearby. I stood in front of his door for several minutes, wondering whether I was going crazy. Or maybe I was dreaming.

I pinched myself. Ouch. Nope. I wasn't dreaming. I was actually considering spending the night in Arthur's room because I couldn't trust myself in my sleep.

Maybe I could go to Amanda? I shook away the thought. I didn't trust anyone else to keep me in line, other than Arthur.

"Stop overthinking and get in."

I stared at the door. It was still closed, yet that was definitely Arthur's voice. Embarrassed, I pushed the door open.

Arthur's room was almost an exact replica of mine. It was very impersonal. I didn't expect the castle's owner to sleep in what was almost a guest room. I guess he never really spent time here.

The only difference was the pull up bar mounted next to the window. Arthur was currently hanging upside down, doing crunches with so much ease.

His abs were very well defined, along with his pectorals, and-

I cleared my throat and looked away.

"How did you know I was out there?" I asked. He pulled himself up one last time then dropped to his feet. 

He raised one brow. "Do you actually think I won't be aware of someone standing by my door?" he said. "Besides, your mind is too loud."

He had already said something like this before. Wait. "You don't mean that literally, do you?"

He smiled. "And if I do?"

My eyes bugged out. "What? But Amanda didn't say anything about this!"

He chuckled. "Relax. I only get faint impressions through the bond when you are close, nothing concrete. However, just like emotions, thoughts can travel through the bond. Usually, mates keep their thoughts out of the bond because otherwise it gets too crowded in your head, they only use it to communicate."

"But it should work both ways," I said. "Why am I not sensing anything, other than emotions?"

"It's because the bond isn't complete," he said. "Once the bond is fully made, you can choose to receive my thoughts as well."

"Oh."

"So if it's mutual, you don't have a problem with it?" he asked.

"Not really, no."

He grinned. "Well, we can remedy that right away-"

"I'm going to skewer you," I said, pointing my sword at him. Blood rushed up to my face. His implication when I was right in the middle of his bedroom made me wish I stayed up the night alone.

"Make yourself comfortable," he said, heading to the bathroom. "I'll take a shower."

He winked and closed the door behind him. Seconds later, I heard the shower turn on.

"Stupid, teasing man," I grumbled under my breath. I plopped down on top of the covers, putting my sword next to me. The ceiling in Arthur's room was a painting of white clouds and a bright blue sky. No cherubs in sight.

I yawned, my eyes already drifting shut. Before sleep pulled me under, I spotted a hidden detail in the painting in the ceiling, almost unidentifiable among the heavy clouds. It was a man cradling a winged child. The child's wings were rusted with blood, as were the man's hands. The man was wailing, his features screwed in an expression of undiluted pain. 

I guess the room wasn't as impersonal as I thought.

This was the last thing Arthur saw every night. My throat closed up, and a hot tear slid down my temple.

But I was too tired to stay awake. I surrendered to sleep, my heart weighed down with grief.

*** *** ***

There was a persistent feather on my arm.

I moved my arm away and went back to sleep. Peace only lasted a second before the feather tickled my arm again.

"Damn feathers," I mumbled and moved my arm away. The feather returned, and with it my awareness of the world around me.

I cracked my eyes open. I was hugging Arthur, on my side, with both my arms and my legs wrapped around him. He was warm and he smelled good. I wasn't even ashamed I was hanging onto him like a sloth. I closed my eyes.

"Stop that," I said when his finger grazed my upper arm again.

"How did you get that?" he asked.

I huffed. There was no going back to sleep. "What?"

"The scar."

It was the ugly scar on my upper arm. Fully awake now, I looked up at him. He was staring at my arm on his chest. 

"The fight, when uncle Robert died," I replied. "I guess a sword caught me there."

I hadn't been aware of it at the time when it happened, too engrossed in the fight to save my life. Most scars I had from that day were faded, except for the one on my arm. The sword, most likely silver, had cut very deep into the skin. It had taken me a while to stem the bleeding after the fight was over. It was a wonder my arm was still attached.

"You were fourteen when it happened," he said. I nodded. "Sixteen in the first record humans had of you."

"Yeah."

"Two years," he said. "What happened in those two years? Where were you?"

Visions of thick trees and wild animals came to the forefront of my mind. "Home. I was home."

"In the forest."

"Yes."

"For two years," he said. "All alone."

I shrugged. "I was used to being alone. Uncle Robert sometimes left for days on end. To get supplies and such."

He hummed, his hand moved from my arm to my hair. Goosebumps broke all over my skin, and my magic stretched awake.

"Are you still used to it?" he asked.

I gave it some thought. Being alone had always been my life. It was the way Uncle Robert had raised me. He had always thought he would be right beside me, that I wouldn't really need anyone else. 

Could I ever go back to being all on my own again? Yes, probably. But I would know what it felt like to have friends and family and... Arthur. Right now, I'd rather have this life, with all its risks and threats and issues, rather than go back to how things used to be.

"I guess I'm not. I'm actually getting used to your company." I widened my eyes at him. "The horror!"

His chest shook under my cheek. The bond warmed with affection and a tranquility that seeped to my bones.

The following days were a mix of moments of extreme boredom and patience tests. 

I would train with Noah in the mornings. Training with a werewolf was a lot of fun. It was interesting to see how he worked so seamlessly with his animal side. Then I'd go with Arthur to Venus' place. He would go to his meetings while Noah, Charles and I strolled around.

I had a suspicion that Noah was devising some sneaky plan, because he kept giving me this thoughtful look. 

Everything was going smoothly, until it wasn't.

Noah and Arthur were arguing about something in the study. I heard them when I was walking past with Amanda.

She raised her brow at me when I stopped. I couldn't make out their words, but they were definitely arguing.

"I have a strong feeling it's about me," I told her.

"You can just go in," Amanda said, her eyes filled with amusement.

"Huh... I guess I can," I said and pushed the door open without knocking. Rude, I know.

Arthur and Noah were standing on either side of the desk. They didn't even glance at me.

"Elle, leave," Arthur said. His end of the bond was seeping anger and frustration, but beneath it was concern.

I walked in and took a seat in front of his desk. I glanced between him and Noah, standing next to me.

"No, I think I'll stay," I told them, waving my hand. "Carry on."

Arthur gave me an impressive scowl. When I didn't budge, he closed his eyes and turned his face to the ceiling, the lines of his throat taut. Noah's face remained as expressive as a door.

"Well?" I said, "what's the problem?"

"We were discussing the next step in your training," Noah replied once he noticed that Arthur's jaws had turned to granite and could not move at the moment.

"Is that so?" I said. "And what is this next step?"

"I want to cut off your blood-"

That was all Noah uttered before the house shook. Windows rattled and paintings dropped to the floor. Arthur's hold on his magic slipped ever so slightly and I felt his true power through the bond. For a fraction of a second, my insides flipped and my head swam. It was like being in the middle of a stormy ocean where titanic waves threatened to bury me beneath their dark waters.

Arthur's slip of control on his abilities actually caused a mini earthquake. I didn't know whether to be reassured or freaked out.

Arthur opened his eyes and looked at me. "Noah, please give us a moment."

Noah nodded and left. 

"I would never hurt you," Arthur said.

"Well, I don't know." I cocked my head to the side. "You did throw me against the wall that one time-"

He growled. "That doesn't count."

I snickered. Arthur's body lost some of its tension when he realized that the power in his loss of control didn't scare me. "What was Noah going to say before you decided to shake things up?"

He plopped down on his chair. It groaned under his weight. "He wants to test your tolerance in the event of blood deficiency."

I blinked. "Meaning he wants to cut off my blood supply and see what happens."

"Yes."

Well, then. I knew Noah was up to something. No wonder Arthur was pissed off. "You're against it."

"Of course I'm against it," he grumbled. "We're not in a position to do tests of the sort. Anyone could take advantage of the situation and cause issues for you."

"That's exactly why we should do it," I told him. "In a week or two, we'll be in Ireland, in a far more hostile territory compared to this place. This is the time to test."

I didn't like the idea of being in the same frame of mind of when I almost attacked Charles. But Noah was right. I needed to know my true limits in case I no longer have access to blood. Who knew what would happen in Ireland?

Arthur closed his eyes and leaned his head back. I waited.

I would go along with Noah's exercise. Arthur knew that. He had to come to terms with it on his own.

"It will be difficult," he said.

"Oh, I know," I said. "I'm not particularly eager to do it, but you have to admit, it's a good step to take before leaving for Ireland."

"Hmm..." He sighed, "I don't like it."

"I know that, too." I stood and went over to him, "you'll just have to suck it up, my lord."

He didn't smile, but his negative emotions were diminishing. He opened one eye when I sat on the arm of his chair, and stared.

"What's wrong?" I asked, resisting the urge to touch my face. The scars I had acquired in my last encounter with the demon back home were still there. After the spell broke, I thought they started to fade. But I wouldn't be sure until enough time passed by.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his head on my side. His proximity made me feel serene, and made my heart skitter. A lovely contradiction.

He still smelled heavenly. I put my nose in his hair and took a deep whiff. I guess I no longer cared if I came through as creepy.

"Nothing is wrong," he replied. "Absolutely nothing."

-----------------------------

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