Passing out and waking up to new realities was turning into a habit. I needed to break out of it.

"I really can't," I told Amanda, widening my eyes, "I really, really can't."

Unfazed by my puppy eyes, Amanda shoved the plate at me, her expression firm.

"You haven't eaten in one hour and thirty five minutes," she said, "that is not acceptable. You've burned a tremendous amount of energy-"

"Which the phoenixes provided."

"-and you have just been poisoned! You mustn't take your health lightly."

I sighed and stabbed a piece of chicken on the plate. Amanda nodded to herself and picked up the tumbler of water. The phoenixes who had saved my life had flown away hours ago, after taking a little nap in Arthur's gardens. I still felt the bond to the three birds I'd saved. They were far away, but if I reached out, I could call them. At least, that was what it felt like.

"I'll be right back," Amanda said and left the room.

Kat, who had been silently sitting in an armchair near the fireplace, glanced up from her book. Her expression tightened infinitesimally before looking down to her read. Apparently she was here to keep an eye on my magic.

I chewed on my food. Kat was a quiet woman, at least around me. I didn't have a problem with that. But I felt as though she didn't like me much. 

Normally, I wouldn't have cared a flying rat's ass about that, either. But she was one of Arthur's most trusted people, part of his inner circle. We were bound to work together, or at least be in each other's company for years to come.

Of course, not everyone liked me. I was fine with that. I could work with Charles just fine even though he didn't like me. I was fine with Jesse, her brother, hating my guts. 

The thing is, Charles and Jesse actually voiced their opinions of me. I respected that. On the other hand, I felt as though Kat didn't want others to think she didn't like me.

But maybe I was being unfair. Maybe I just didn't know her well enough.

"So, Kat," I started, "have you ever been in France before?"

She didn't look up. "Yes."

I waited. Nothing further.

"How long have you worked with Arthur?"

Her features twitched just a little before she replied, "Five decades."

"That long, huh?"

No reply. Oh, well. Subtle was never my forte, anyway. "Why don't you like me?"

She froze, then slowly raised her head to look at me. She had lovely eyes.

"Why should I?" she asked.

Hmm, that didn't take long. "We'll be working together a lot in the future."

"That doesn't mean I have to like you," she said, "you work with Charles just fine and he doesn't like you."

Touché. "Yes, but Charles is very vocal about hating my guts. You, on the other hand, seem to be going to great lengths to hide your dislike," I told her, "I don't really care, either way, I just want to put it out there. If I'm doing something that you don't agree with, if I've ever done something that hurt you, tell me so we can work through it. If you don't like me just because you don't... well, I guess there's nothing we can do about that."

Her eyes remained focused on me with no change in her expression. "You did nothing wrong."

I blinked. So she didn't like me just because. Okay, then.

"So why don't you want others to know?"

She stiffened, "I don't care if they know."

I narrowed my eyes. She wasn't exactly lying, but she wasn't being truthful, either. Hmm... my feminine instincts flared. I took a shot in the dark.

"I guess you don't want Arthur to know," I said.

Her breath caught. Color rose in her cheeks. Jackpot. 

"That's none of your business," she said.

Well, well... I didn't expect that to be the reason.

I shrugged, "like I said, you can hate my guts for all I care. But I wanted to know why you're hiding it in case I need to watch my back around you."

"The only time you will have to watch your back around me is if you're a threat to Arthur," she said hotly, "I would never disrespect him by hurting you."

She went back to her book, her face still flushed. I finished my lunch, wondering how I had never noticed that she had a thing for Arthur. I shrugged. As long as she was loyal to Arthur, her animosity towards me didn't really matter.

Still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't bothered.

Fortunately, Amanda got back right then. She breezed into the room and resumed her fussing. After a few minutes, Kat left. Amanda watched her curiously.

"Did she say something?" Amanda said, sitting beside me.

"I did, actually," I said. I didn't know whether Amanda suspected Kat's feelings for Arthur, so I kept my mouth shut.

Amanda laughed softly. She handed me the water and put away the empty plate on the bedside table. After I drank my fill, she leaned back and patted her lap. It felt natural to lay down and put my head on her lap. Her fingers combed through my hair.

"Arthur found Kat and Jesse when they were still teenagers," she said.

I glanced at her. "Found them?"

"Yes. Their mother is a witch and their father is a feline shifter. Most feline shapeshifters are solitary beings, unlike wolves," Amanda said, "Kat and Jesse lived with their parents in a secluded island for the first twelve years of their life. Then... Well, it's their story to tell. But something happened, and Arthur brought them to live with him.

"The point is, they were basically children back then. Arthur watched the two of them grow. You know what happened to Arthur, so you can imagine how fond he was of them. He still is. But they're no longer kids. Kat is a woman, and Arthur seems to forget that."

Ah, so Amanda did know.

"He doesn't know about her feelings?" I asked.

"No," Amanda said, "he's usually more perceptive than that. But like I said, he's watched her grow since she was basically a child. She will always be his little protegée."

I nodded. Sympathy for Kat was the last thing I expected to feel. Yet imaginning a twelve year old girl who had gone through difficult circumstances brought back memories of my own experience. 

"No one really knows," Amanda said, "she's good at hiding her feelings."

"You and I do."

She chuckled, "yes. I guess we women are more attuned to these sorts of things."

"I guess," I said, "so where did Arthur go?"

After I had woken up in the middle of his front yard surrounded by phoenixes, he had taken me back into my room in silence, kissed my forehead and left. Even the bond between us felt peaceful. No strong emotions travelled through. But every once in a while something would slip, a strong jolt of unidentifiable emotion that quickly went away.

There was a knock on the door. Orion walked in. He looked from me to Amanda. His taciturn mask faltered for a second, and I saw deep longing lurking in the depth of his green eyes.

"May I have a word with Elle?" he asked, clasping his hands behind his back. Amanda left us alone, but not before shooting Orion a warning look.

"She's very fond of you," Orion said, taking a seat in the armchair beside my bed.

"I'm fond of her, too."

"Yes, I can see that," he said, "how do you feel?"

"Good."

He narrowed his eyes, "I expected you would feel like your mother once the spell broke."

"I don't?"

"No, your mother felt a little off in her last days," Orion said, "as if she was ... sick. You don't. You feel like a fae, but one could tell you're different."

"A good different or a bad different?"

Orion's lips twitched up, "just different. A special kind of fae."

I didn't know how I felt about not being recognizable as human any longer. My entire life I had counted on that disguise. Except for the last few months when I was thrown into this mess.

"Now that the spell broke, what are your plans?" Orion asked.

I shrugged, "breaking the spell doesn't make a difference." I still planned to catch Robert's killer. I wondered if Arthur had spoken with Santos.

"Why don't you come to Ireland?" Orion asked, "I think it will be a good idea. Amelia agrees with me. She wants you to meet your brother. We both do."

I raised my brows, "is that so?"

"Don't look so surprised," Orion said, "I believe you will like both her and your brother. They are your family. You might be surprised if you give them, and Ireland, a chance."

In my book, blood did not make a family. "I'll think about it." I told him. Refusing outright would just make him argue longer. I had no intention of going to Ireland.

Orion's face brightened, "very well. Shall we say right after the council's meeting?"

"Is your memory getting faulty in your old age?" I asked, trying to hide my frustration, "I said I'll think about it. I did not agree."

"Yet," he rose, "I will come to visit you again. For now I must go. Amelia has been waiting outside the premises for a while now."

I nodded. He hesitated before passing his hand on my head with a relieved smile. I was still tense when he left the room.

I didn't know how to deal with Orion. He seemed under the impression that he could just barge into my life and play father as if he had been doing it for the first twenty five years of my life.

He also liked ordering people around. He had once been a king so he must be used to it, I guess. He just didn't know the effect that had on me yet. I growled. There was this tiny spark of a negative emotion in me after I just woke up, I didn't know why. But Orion just made it evolve into anger.

"Why is Amelia not allowed here?" I asked as soon as Amanda walked in.

"She's a security risk," Amanda said, "we don't know her. Arthur did not want anyone suspicious in your vicinity. Even Orion was a stretch. But he's your father, so..."

I understood. Arthur had a soft spot for fathers. I frowned, "where's Arthur, anyway?"

"Busy. Why don't you take a nap?" Amanda avoided my eyes. 

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Did he, by any chance, give orders that I stay put and rest in my room?"

"Elle..." Amanda sighed.

I threw the covers aside and rose, "I can feel Charles right behind that door. We're in Arthur's house, he shouldn't have to guard me here."

Stupid, arrogant vampire lord. 

Amanda, resigned, watched as I stormed into the bathroom. A shower and a change of clothes later, I only felt marginally better. I strapped on my weapons and went out. Charles crossed his arms and stepped in my way.

"And where are you going?"

I stared at him down my nose, the anger in me licking its lips, "and I should tell you because...?"

"Aren't you in a mood?" he muttered and stepped aside. I glared as I passed him by.

"Arthur won't be pleased with you," Charles said, trailing me.

"Yeah, I don't really care," I told him, walking out of the house, "just because I fainted a couple of times doesn't mean I'm a frail princess who needs to be coddled."

"Well, you are a princess."

I growled out a curse. Charles looked very pleased with himself. The staff of the house gave me a wide berth. My face must have conveyed my cheerful state of mind. 

"Where's Arthur?" I asked Charles who was trailing like a lost puppy, but without all the cuteness.

"With Burak, interviewing Santos," he replied.

They must be having a grand time. Arthur would no doubt take all his frustration on Santos. Well, I didn't really blame him. That old vampire seemed like a turd, and I had just been in his company for minutes.

I stopped in the middle of the front yard. Though 'front yard' was a massive misnomer. I glanced at Charles, "are you up for sparring?"

He snorted, "no way."

I pulled out my sword, "I didn't peg you for a coward."

He narrowed his eyes, "nice try. I'm under strict instruction to keep you from exerting yourself."

"Aha," I smiled, "he said that, didn't he?"

Charles gave my smile a cautious look. "Not in so many words, but it was implied. The spell broke not even a day ago. You should take it easy."

I was getting tired of men telling me what to do. First Orion, now Charles. To be fair, though, Charles was only implementing orders. So it was Arthur I should be blaming.

I looked around. Amanda had stayed behind, probably to speak with Kat. Marianno was nowhere to be found. There were a few vampires, guarding the perimeter.

The female vampire who came with Burak yesterday, Hilda, was cleaning her sword under the shade of a tree. I didn't really know her so I couldn't ask her to spar with me.

With an annoyed growl, I rolled my wrist to warm it up, then went into a routine using my sword. The exercises were ones uncle Robert had taught me as soon as I could hold a sword. The familiar movements brought a measure of calm with them, though my anger still simmered right beneath the surface. Charles took refuge under the shadow of a tree near Hilda. She was a risk, the only outsider here.

My muscles loosened, the blood flowing freely through my veins, warming my body. I took a deep breath and dropped to a fighting stance. Shadow fighting was the next best thing to sparring with a partner. In this case, it was probably a better option, seeing as I was too wound up. I might end up planting my sword in Charles if he made some silly comment again.

It must have been an hour or so later when I felt him. I ceased my movement. A droplet of sweat fell from the tip of my nose to the ground. My skin pebbled from the suddenly chilly wind. The distant fluttering of birds became louder. All my senses felt sharper. The smell of pine trees was stronger. Must be the adrenaline.

Arthur strolled down the steps. Concern flowed through the bond, though it was buried under layers of irritation and anger.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he asked softly when he reached me.

I sheathed my sword and leveled him a look, "why wouldn't I be out of bed?"

"Elle, you've just spent an ungodly amount of energy when the spell broke," he said, his expression thunderous, "you've been poisoned the day before, and we don't know the effects the absence of the spell will have on you."

"So I should stay in bed?"

"Yes."

"Until when?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips, "because I'm not going to spend the rest of this trip swaddled in blankets. Besides, I feel good. Better than yesterday, actually."

"You're not yet at one hundred percent."

"Oh, really?" my temper flared.

"Yes-"

Before he could finish, I snapped up my leg in a kick. He leaned out of the way. My foot breezed past his nose.

"Elle," he growled, "what are you doing?"

"Proving that I'm fine," I said, and crouched in a fighting stance, "since you forbid everyone from sparring with me, you'll just have to do the honors."

"I'm not sparring with you," he said, dodging a punch I threw his way. It was aggravating how easily he did so.

"Yes, you are." I began circling him. He did the same. "I won't be chained in bed everytime something happens. When I tell you I'm fine, you have to trust that I am."

I lunged at him. He dodged my right hook. My left barely grazed his chin. I turned with it and kicked up my foot, sending a tendril of blue fire with it. It caught him in the chest and burned through his t-shirt. He grunted. I jumped back and circled him again.

"That hole is a nice touch to that t-shirt," I grinned. "it gives you an edgy look."

"Elle, you need to stop."

"No, you need to back off," I told him, "you realize that we'll be facing a lot more crap before this trip is over. Hell, our entire life will be full of blood and danger. You can't lock me up in a room every time something happens to me."

"I didn't lock you up," Arthur said, "unfortunately."

"You tried," I shot back, "thankfully, Charles has more sense than to obey your stupid orders, even the unspoken ones."

A sardonic "thanks" reached my ears. That must be Charles.

Arthur stopped moving. I did the same. His scowl was still painted in place. He looked as movable as a mountain.

Butting heads with him now would get me nowhere. I sighed and straightened.

The emotions he tried keeping a tight leash on slipped through the bond. Fear. It doused the flames of my anger and softened my resolve. My insides no longer felt twisted up, but there was still a slight tightness in my chest.

"Let's go on a walk," he said, turning on his heels and heading to the gardens.

Charles and Hilda looked on as I stomped along behind him. Charles coughed suspiciously, his lips pulled into a smirk. I flipped him off.

We met several immortals patrolling the perimeter. Arthur did not stop walking until we were well beyond anyone's hearing range. He leaned on a tree, his arms crossed.

I mirrored his position and faced him. He stared. I stared back. After a few minutes, I shifted my feet and blew out a breath through my nose.

"Well?" I said.

"You almost died last night."

I blinked. Okay. This was not what I had in mind. "But I didn't."

He shook his head, "you almost died last night. I held your cold body in my arms. If it weren't for the phoenixes, you would have died."

Something in his voice killed the argument on my lips. Fear, desperation.

"Arthur, I'm alive and healthy," I told him, trying to sound calm, "however, this will not be the last time I knock on death's doors. We have a long life ahead of us, hopefully, so you cannot keep me swaddled in bubble wrap everytime a scratch lands on me."

"Of course I can."

You can try, I wanted to say. But he wasn't being rational. His emotions were too strung up for logic. So, I had to be the calm, collected person in this conversation. Ugh, I hated it.

"Okay," I spread my arms, "think about it. For a few seconds, imagine me being all docile and tucked up in a place where nothing and no one can hurt me. Imagine me never lifting a sword again or getting into a fight. Imagine me never inadvertently insulting someone like Burak who can end my life with a snap of a finger. Just imagine such a person."

His face remained stoic, but he could no longer fool me. The bond reverberated with everything he did not say. I dropped my arms to my side.

"That person is not me, Arthur," I told him, "if you want someone who will stay safe behind your broad back, someone you will not run the heartache of losing at every turn, then maybe you should choose someone else."

Someone like Natalia. The thought made my chest tighten further.

Arthur looked skyward. Blue peeked through the dark leaves, bright and full of life. After minutes of thoughtful silence, he heaved a deep sigh and returned his dark gaze to me.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Give me lots of weapons?"

His lips twitched. In a second, his sturdy arms surrounded me. My bones melted. Leaning my head on his chest, I breathed in what felt like the first breath since I woke up. My arms hesitantly came around him.

His scent surrounded me, tickling my insides and sending my magic into a whirr of delight.

"Why are you still angry?" he asked.

"I'm not."

"Hmm..."

I frowned and looked within. My chest was still tight. There was this thread of anger. I didn't know its source, but the feeling wouldn't disappear.

"I don't know," I said. Maybe it was thinking of Natalia that made me pissed off?

Arthur kissed my head. "If you feel off, will you tell me?"

"Sure."

"Promise."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I promise I'll tell you if I feel like fainting."

He squeezed me one last time and let go. "Alright. Come. Let me tell you what Santos shared with us."

"And then you'll spar with me?"

He shook his head. "Women want jewels and silks and riches, and you want weapons and sparring sessions?"

I glared. "Well, it's not too late to change your mind."

"Hmm...should I?"

He was teasing me. Still, I found that the thought of Arthur with someone else did not sit well in my guts. But I wasn't going to cry about it. I grinned. "If you want to see your entrails decorating the trees like christmas lights, then by all means, go ahead."

His face broke into a grin, the cloud of dark mood dispersed. "I like my entrails right where they are. So I guess I'll keep you around."

"Hmph."

He threw an arm around my shoulders and we strolled through the woods. The problems of the gate and the spell and the prophecy felt so far away here, in the arms of nature.

I should have felt lighter. I should have been calmer.

But the anger that woke up with me after the spell broke was still there, lingering within reach.

____________________

Sooo the spell broke! Do you think it will have effects on Elle?

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