Nicole

"You guys went to Brooklyn to see a live band?" was Merlinda's dramatic question the following day at lunch, after Travis's and my escapade.

"I believe you heard me clearly two minutes ago." Inspecting my nails coolly, I avoided the greasy lunch pizza as well as eye contact.

"This is so sweet." She looked like she was about to cry, and my eyes immediately widened in alarm.

"Merlinda-"

"He freaking gave you an adventure! How do you expect me to not be emotional?"

"You all have been giving me adventures." I forced a shaky smile and nervously looked at Marilyn and Jahdiel for help before Merlinda suddenly burst into tears of joy. "Right, guys?"

Marilyn scoffed. "Well, yeah. If stealing my car isn't an adventure," she said dryly, "then I don't know what is."

"I didn't steal your car! I just drove it without your permission."

"Stealing," she dismissed my protest with a shrug. "You are so evil."

"I'm still waiting for the part where he kissed you though," deciding to be oblivious to the exchange between Marilyn and me, Merlinda said in her usual dreamy tone.

"Merlinda, your love life is going too great for your own good." I couldn't help myself from snorting. "I just met him; we weren't supposed to go around kissing and whatever."

She turned to Marilyn. "The Bible asks us to greet one another with a holy kiss, right?"

"I refuse to be used as bait," came her dry retort.

I noticed how Jahdiel hadn't said a word and wondered if the others noticed too. When lunch was over, I tried walking with her to pry some sentences out of her. As if sensing my intention, she hurried alongside Marilyn, and they made their way to physics class together.

On Wednesday, I was forced to endure Dylan's embarrassed stares during chemistry in the afternoon. He looked like he wanted to talk to me but was intimidated at the same time. I sauntered out of class immediately; I was long gone before he could even try to muster courage and approach me.

Jahdiel kept up our game of hide and seek. It was seriously getting tiring. All I wanted was to talk to her and listen to what was happening with her life.

On Thursday, she wore her blazer from morning till school was over, and my heart sank.

Something was terribly wrong with her, and she refused to talk and instead hid in her own little cocoon.

On Friday, I had history and Merlinda, chemistry. Both subjects were in the same block, so the two of us made our way leisurely to our classes.

I was silent half the way, drowning in my thoughts. Jahdiel didn't remove her jacket today either, and she left her hair to flow around her face, probably to hide bruises.

She winced slightly every time someone touched her, and she fell asleep in math class yesterday, which was super weird considering she was Miss Dorothy Townsend's pet and math was Jahdiel's favorite subject.

Then there was Travis. Despite how much I'd tried distracting myself, I couldn't shake him out of my head. I missed him, but that was extremely crazy. What exactly did I miss? How could I miss something I never had? Someone I've met just twice?

How could I miss a stranger?

Our meeting was definitely over, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

That night, we hadn't exchanged numbers, and I'd foolishly insisted he dropped me at my junction. So, he doesn't even know my house to think of showing up.

The fact that I'd never see him again sank my heart hopelessly every time the thought crossed my mind.

Every single time.

"So, about Travis?" Merlinda's voice broke me out of my depressing thoughts. "What's up with you two?"

"We crossed paths, had some fun. Now it's over, we've both moved on." I tried to sound as nonchalant as I could.

"You seem to like him."

"Not really," I denied. But can you kid Merlinda? Nope. She's a pro at these stuff.

"Not really." She nodded. The quirk of her perfectly laminated brow and the subtle tilt of her chin oozed sarcasm.

I shrugged.

"Nicole, I've never seen a better match than you and that guy. You're stoic, shielded, and nonchalant, but he was able to stand up to you-the first guy I've ever seen to challenge you. I saw it with my eyes. Heck, we all did."

"He was forcing me to watch a movie I didn't want to see, crossing my boundaries. You think that's impressive?" My tone was dry and bored.

"You wouldn't have watched it if you truly didn't want to, so you must've wanted to, and there must be a reason, which makes me know you admire him."

Admire him- the thought rolled in my head for a while.

Of course, I did.

"Admire him?" The glance I tossed her was a lazy one filled with disinterest. "No, no, not so fast."

"Don't put up that nonchalant act with me, sister. I saw how you looked at him."

"And how, pray tell, did I look at him, sister?"

"Like you wanted him in your life."

She stated it simply, like it was undebatable. And we both knew she was right.

I hated the sudden tears that burned at the back of my eyes when I thought of his fingers in my hair, thought of him pulling me into the most comforting hug I've ever had in my entire eighteen years old life.

Him holding hands with me like it was something he did everyday, throwing popcorn right on my nose at the cinema, those stupid nicknames...

Blue.

My carefully built resolve suddenly broke, my lips trembling slightly. Sweat gathered on my forehead, and my palms felt clammy.

No one had ever treated me that way, as if I was cherished, but shown in the most subtlest of ways. I knew all these things were the barest of minimums to Merlinda, but not me. For the first time ever, someone looked at me like I... like I mattered.

"Why does it always seem like I'll never see him again?" I didn't know my voice would come out so small and shaky, and I hated myself for it. "It's like we're so far apart from each other. When we're together, it feels like I've known him all my life, but then he's gone, and it's like everything was just a dream."

"Don't say that." Merlinda threw her arm around my waist, pulled me closer. It made our walk across the busy hallway awkward, but I didn't mind. "He'll find you."

"Maybe he doesn't want to." Finally. There it was. I'd voiced out my greatest fear, but with a voice so nonchalant and as dry as the Sahara desert.

She looked taken aback by my blunt remark. "What makes you think so?"

"I don't even have his number. He doesn't have mine either."

How that was even possible escaped me. We spent so much time talking and laughing, even arguing, but forgot to exchange contacts.

"Are you sure about the latter part?" Her lips curled into a smug smile. "Guys can be really tricky."

***

Dance class was my last period, then school would be over. I headed to my locker, pulled out my sports bra, dancing shoes, a bottle of water, and sweatpants.

I saw Jahdiel as I stuffed my things in my backpack. She was standing by her locker, pulling books for her next class.

She still had her jacket on. She'd worn it every minute of every day since the start of the week. Fine, she's following dress code, but we are free to take blazers off when we're too hot and frazzled. And, let's be real, we all got hot and frazzled at some point.

Our gazes caught and held across the hallway the moment she closed her locker and turned. This was a good chance to talk to her without any of her flimsy excuses getting in the way. Shutting my own locker, I hurried over to her.

"Hey, Jahdie." I kept my voice light, "How's it going?"

"Look, I know you want us to talk," stern jade eyes stared right into my face with a boldness I've never seen from Jahdiel before. I stumbled backwards a little as shock ran down my spine. She looked very hostile.

Jahdiel was the softest. Sure, Merlinda was sweet and a mama bear, but Jahdiel? Jahdiel was like an innocent little angel. The hard look accompanied by the hard voice she aimed my way had me speechless. "But I don't want to," she went on, "and I just want you to stay the hell out of my business. Please."

By the time I'd found my voice, she'd hurried off long ago.

Numb, I retreated to my locker. I stuffed the rest of my belongings into my backpack and headed to dance class.

My thoughts ran wild. There was a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach, as if I'd caused something terrible. I wondered if I'd done anything to upset her, but my mind drew up a blank.

***

Having a dance captain as wicked as Raine Perkins certainly did not improve my already tainted mood.

Thinking about Jahdiel and Travis made me lag behind, but rolled with Raine's outrageous commands? That made it worse.

"Layla, is something wrong with your neck? Toss your damn hair!"

"Katie, has something fallen in your eye, or is that a glare you're aiming at me?"

"Johanna, I swear you're getting on my nerves with that lazy sway of your hips. This is dance, not some arena for playing a fucking temptress."

"I'm so sick of you dancing out of line, Kerrie. Are you blind?"

She eventually stopped by my side. "Old age is finally catching up to you, I see." I gritted my teeth at her condescending drawl. Her look of disdain was permanent on her face, I swear. Nobody could ever please her. "Why are you being so slow? Do you not have any energy left in your frail bones?"

I clenched my hands to keep myself from showing her what the frail bones in my fist could do to her running mouth.

She moved forward, her neverending snide remarks following our every movement.

Our coach, Madam Margaret Arnold, appeared twenty minutes to the end of the class, which unfortunately happened to be the time when we were most exhausted.

She was beautiful, a black woman in her late thirties. Her trim figure deceived people from the fact that she had a teenage son who schooled right here in Hamilton High. Her sweet face was a huge disguise for her no-nonsense and firm attitude.

Her sharp eyes picked on our mistakes quickly, and my hatred for Raine grew. She didn't make us take even a single break. Dancing for two hours straight was certainly not the best way to learn. Didn't they hold any sort of captain workshop for her?

When the agonizing class was finally over, Coach Margaret spoke up. "After a serious debate with the board of directors in this institution, I'm certain the authorities will cast a spotlight on us before you graduate." She gazed at each face with her usual sternness, her voice loud and clear for such a petite woman.

"It's been ten years since the last time the dance team got recognized, but you guys are fortunate enough to have authorities defending on your behalf. And I will not let them down." I shifted on my foot, nervous and feeling as if she was aiming every word right at me. "I will not hesitate to evict anyone who slacks, and I'm giving you all two weeks to better yourselves. When we meet again after that time, I'm selecting my dance team members and evicting the rest. Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am." Our chorus was almost robotic. The tension and fear were so heavy in the room one could actually taste it.

"Good." She gave a satisfied nod at our horrified faces. "You can leave now."

Hands shaking with both tiredness and nerves, I grabbed my bottle of water and took a swig.

"That Raine's a bitch." Katie muttered under her breath as she picked up her bag that lay next to mine.

"Tell me something I don't know." I drawled.

"Nicole," she acknowledged me, "you good?"

I nodded in response. She flashed a smile before walking away.

I couldn't afford to get kicked out of my team, I thought as I showered and got dressed back into my uniform. Dancing was my passion, even if I wasn't so good at it. I simply found the art beautiful and inspiring, and it ground me to sanity. It was my escape.

But it wasn't just that. I also wanted to communicate my locked-up feelings to the world through dancing. I wanted to be a star, like that fifteen-year-old Cornelia.

She moved with unmatched grace and strength, and I wanted to be like that and took inspiration from her, even if she was younger than I was.

If a fifteen-year-old could do it, what could stop me?

I also wanted to be the best in that one area of my life, just like my friends. Something that's unique to only me.

Merlinda had a photographic memory that made her unique and special. Marilyn was a good artist, aside from being a good Christian that is, and was Jahdiel, a singer with a voice that could make you weep, dig your heart out of your chest, and present it to her on a silver platter.

Speaking of Jahdiel, I saw her when I stepped into the parking lot. She was crying in Merlinda's arms in front of Merlinda's pink camryn. Merlinda looked to be inspecting Jahdiel's neck, asking questions to which Jahdiel answered with tears streaming down her face.

A very sharp pang of pain pierced my heart. The same girl who had refused to talk to me found it so natural to cry in someone else's arms. The same girl who looked at me as if I were an enemy looked at another as if she couldn't live without her. What exactly was it with me?

What was so wrong with me?

Usually Marilyn gives me a ride home, and I knew she was waiting for me when I saw her text. Two pens slipped from my suddenly damp fingers. I picked one up with shaky fingers. The other rolled away from me. I left it there.

With my breath now erratic, I walked blindly out of the parking lot, mixing with the cheerful students, and hailed a cab once I was out of Hamilton High's compound.

***

I planned to write a Saturday pov for Nicole too, but with all the catching up from within the week, the chapter would've been too long.

I know we just started, but do you have a favorite character so far?

Do vote and comment your thoughts. Thanks for reading!

<3