It's the way you look at me over FaceTime. Two beautiful blue eyes seeing all of me. You're miles away but the eye contact still hurts as I wait for one of us to glance away first. I have your full undivided attention. You ask to call me, to see my face, hear my voice. Tell me you miss me again please. I wanna be in your arms. My heart throbs because I haven't been someone's interest in a very long time. I'm in front of you and I feel you looking over every part of me. I'm so vulnerable and exposed and you still love me.
We said no to anything more than "I can't wait to sleep in your arms in two months." And "I want you to burn in desire to touch my body" but I have to bite my tongue at the end of our calls from saying "I love you." I don't know if I mean I'm in love with you in the romantic or the 'I hope you stay in my life forever type of way.' Or 'I love you in the way I'm glad you're my friend.' Or the 'I love you in the I love how you give me attention in the way I've desired for a long time'.
I don't know how I love you but oh I do.