Irene was an excited little girl, happily giving me a tour of her home and rattling off the history of the building like it was common knowledge.

At some point Sophie found us.

We were in the library—because of course, they have a library—munching on some snacks as she laid out a bunch of photo albums.

Sophie sat across from us, sipping on tea and commenting on different photos of her children. Her eyes glimmered with warmth as she recalled the stories of mischief and such.

Ivan was such a serious child when he was younger. When he smiled, it was always closed-lipped and demure, as if he just wanted to get the photo over with and go play. Anya liked to pose in her photos like she was a supermodel, her clothes formal and she wore a lot of pinks. Nat and Nik were always together, even up until their teens. They looked as if they were about to get into a fight rather than smile for the camera. Nat especially, just scowled half the time. I haven't met Dimitri. I've seen him once when I went to pick up Amara from her music academy. They were usually together. He looked like a younger version of Ivan but his eyes were like Sophia's. Most of Irina's photos were baby photos. She was adorable with chubby cheeks and big green eyes.

"What about this one?" I asked, picking up a family photo. On the back was written the date and a short sentence about the day.

Anya's High School Graduation - 2004

Sophia smiled, gently taking the photo from my hands. "This was just before Anya left for college. You can see James in this photo."

James Farewell. The man that had influenced and shaped most of Ivan's childhood. For a man who was a terrifying gangster, he looked like a regular family man with a lot of money. Ivan had his smile and his eyes. I wonder what he was like. Would he have approved of me dating his son?

The door opened, startling me out of my thoughts. I nearly dropped the photo.

Ivan and Nat walked through the door, both of them looking tired. Irina got up to hug Nat, her words coming out of her mouth faster than anyone could comprehend them.

My eyes landed on Ivan next to the two of them, with his hand behind his back and shoulders raised. He was a lot like his father. He smiled when he noticed me, eyes lighting up.

Sophia noticed a look between us, her green eyes glimmering with interest. She scraped her chair back, clearing her throat.

"I think it's time for lunch," she said, primly. "Ivan, be a dear and show Meera down to the dining room."

"Why can't they just come with us?" Irina—god bless her heart—asked.

Nat chuckled, ruffling her hair. "You'll understand when you're older."

"But I am older."

"I thought the same thing too."

"I don't get it."

"Yeah. Neither do I, kid." Nat slung her arm around her tiny shoulders. "It took me a decade to figure out I like girls."

Sophia just winked and herded her daughters out of the room. It was obvious and I doubt she cared if it was.

Nat just gave a very obvious look and turned around, closing the door behind her.

I turned around to face Ivan. "So how was—"

Ivan crossed the room in a couple of strides and cupped my face, kissing me hard. I nearly lost my balance, slamming my hands down on the table to steady myself so I didn't topple over onto the Persian carpets.

He grabbed my hips, hoisting me onto the table with ease.

"Ivan," I panted out his name, a bit dazed from the sudden kiss "What is—?"

"You're beautiful and wonderful," he said, kissing me again, an edge to it that made my stomach tighten. "And your mine and no one can touch you. Not as long as I'm here."

A threat and a promise. How typically Ivan.

Although, I'll admit, it is sweet.

My lips parted, letting Ivan in. He took full advantage and pressed forward, our tongues caressing each other. It felt good, like the ends of my nerves were on fire.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. Everything around me was Ivan—the scent of his cologne, his hands cupping my chest, the taste of him on my tongue. I was drowning in him. I felt dizzy with arousal but as much as I wanted him, I was going to have sex with him in what was essentially his family's library. Plus, I don't think this type of wood is easy to clean. With considerable effort, I pulled away from him. His lips followed mine, capturing a few lingering kisses before I pushed him away proper.

"I'm not complaining," I said, breathlessly. "But I'm not doing this if there's a possibility someone can walk in on us."

"Don't make good points," he said, kissing a line from my chin to my bare shoulder. "I want to make love to you again so badly."

"Oh."

He kissed my shoulder. "I feel like I'm going insane."

My hands were on his shoulder, fingers digging into his flesh as I held back. He looked up at me blown our irises, the blue of his eyes pushed back into a narrow ring of ice.

I wanted him as badly as I wanted me.

"Lock the door," I told him.

Ivan grinned, leaning forward to peck my lips before pulling away. I sat on the table, missing his warmth as he sauntered away, his fingers undoing his tie and letting it drop onto the floor.

He was back to me quickly, half of the buttons of his shirt undone. I toed my shoes off, letting him step in between my legs.

I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers clutching his hair as he kissed me again. His tongue engaged in a slow and sensual fight, winning as I moaned into his mouth.

He pulled the jacket off and tossed it onto the couch. The sleeves of my sundress were tugged down my shoulders, his lips chasing the exposed skin, lingering on the faded love bites. I inhaled sharply, turning my head to the side. I wanted him inside of me.

Ivan's hand slid up the inside of my thigh, his fingers teasing me slowly before entering. I bit down on my lip, holding back a moan as his fingers curled inside of me.

I felt feverish all over, my body flushing from head to toe. The room felt warm, Ivan's hand on my hip felt like a brand on my skin. And his lips on my neck left a trail of heat.

I was burning up for him.

"Ivan," I panted out, closing my eyes. "Please."

"Sure?"

I pulled him into a kiss, pulling on his bottom lip with my teeth.

"I'm sure!" I hissed. "So hurry up and fuck me!"

He laid me down on the table, guiding himself into me. One hand was gripping my thigh and the other was underneath my head.

There was no time to adjust. I gasped, biting down on a moan as he set a quick pace, angling his hips as he did so.

Last night had been wonderful but right now I just wanted this overwhelmed feeling of absolute need to go away. This was not like last night which was sweet and intimate, nor was it like this morning when Ivan had taken his time to take me apart and put me back together. This was different——desperate, hungry, possessive.

I could feel the table shake underneath me with each thrust, a few pens falling to the floor. A part of me was embarrassed but that thought was quickly overruled by how good everything felt.

My heart felt thunderous in my chest, beating so hard I thought it might burst from excitement.

The knuckles of my hands turned white as my grip tightened on the edges of the table.

I turned my head to my side, gasping at the change of angle. I felt my toes curl with each thrust. I was hyper-aware of everything around me. Ivan's lips on my breast, him inside of me, the material of my dress bunching up around my midriff, and the smell of perfume and sweat.

I whimpered, throwing my arm over my eyes.

Ivan pulled my arm away from my face. His finger encircled my wrist, pinning my arm above my head. "Don't hide from me, sweetheart," he said, leaning down till his face was centimetres from mine. "Be a good girl and Look at me."

"Ivan!" I cried out his name.

"Cmon, Meera." He leaned his forehead against mine. "Just let go, sweetheart. You're so good for me."

I came hard, clamping down on him as I rode out my climax. My mouth fell open as I nearly screamed out his name. I saw Ivan through half-lidded eyes, never taking my eyes off of him.

He braced himself on his forearms in, groaning as he released inside of me. His hips stuttering to a stop.

Both of us were panting hard. He released my wrists from his grip and I wrapped my arms around his neck automatically, gently rubbing my palms up and down his back and shoulders.

Ivan started to kiss my face, tiny little affectionate pecks landing on my cheeks and forehead.

"Was I too rough?" He asked, his thumb brushing over the bruises he left on my hip in the shape of his fingerprints.

I sat up, placing a kiss on his nose. "I liked it."

"Duly noted."

I smirked. "We made a mess."

He looked around the room sheepishly, his face and neck were stained red. "Perhaps I got a bit carried away." He lifted his shirt from the floor and put it in my, buttoning it up all the way. "I think your dress might be wrinkled."

"You think I care about the dress after that?"

Ivan grinned mischievously. "Are you saying that I blew your mind?"

I scoffed once I recovered my breath. "Don't fish for compliments from me."

He kissed me, sucking on my bottom lip. I kissed back lazily, indulging in the post-coital haze that settled over us.

We helped each other get ready, smithing out wrinkles in our clothes and redoing each other's hair till it looked like we hadn't fucked in the study like heathens.

"Do you think anyone heard?" I asked him.

"God, I hope not." He groaned. He pushed my hair back, tying it back with the blue ribbon. "I have a feeling they might be on the opposite end of the house by now."

I scoffed gently, my hands fixing his hair. The blonde strands fell onto his forehead. "What happened earlier? Where did you go?"

"I had to deal with something."

"Something or someone?" I asked pointedly.

"Don't be mad," he said, pulling away.

I grabbed his wrists and lifted them up. He maybe had changed his clothes but there were still flecks of blood on his cuffs earlier. "I'm not mad. Who was it?"

"Vanni sent him." He said, his face falling. "He was supposed to take you to her and she probably would've taken you back to them."

I sighed, not as surprised. A similar incident had happened in L.A. it was only a matter of time.

"It's not your fault."

"I know," my eyes flickered up to his. "But why did Vanni agree to that?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

"Where is she, Ivan?"

*****

It wasn't my first time in places like these. Ivan's hand was on the small of my back, hovering protectively.

I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. I'm going to be okay. But I couldn't. He didn't look at me, his face growing more and more impassive as he led me down onto the bunker.

The room was small, with grey walls bloodied from years of use and a sickly yellow light on the wall that flickered once in a while like a defunct firefly.

Vanni was in the centre of the room, sitting with her hands tied behind her back and mouth covered in duck tape. Her clothes were a ruffled mess, her kajal smeared and her hair was a bird's nest.

Her eyes turned cold with fury when she saw me descend the stairs.

I wondered if she ever had regrets.

I didn't know if I could stop Ivan from killing her.

"Vanni," I greeted, straightening my back and pulling back my shoulders. "How are you doing?"

Nat wasn't as gentle with her introduction. She ripped the duck tape off in one swoop, causing Vanni to hiss out in pain. "How the fuck do you think I'm doing?!"

"May I remind you not to raise your voice," Nat said firmly. "Look at the ground. See all that blood. That's my handiwork. Unless you want yours to join it, I suggest you don't turn that mouth of yours while you're here."

I sat down on the still across from her, ignoring the blood on the floor and walls. Some of it was fresh and some were faded stains.

"Vanni, you need to tell me exactly what's going on," I said slowly. Vanni was like a nervous horse, anxious with shifty eyes and a tight expression. I had to coax the answers out of her. "I can help you."

"You know you can't." She said in a low tone.

"Oh really. You wanna bet?" I asked, tilting my head towards Nat. "Right now I'm the one standing between them and an unmarked grave."

She quieted down, her frown ruining her beautiful face. Vanni was smart enough to know which battles to pick, I just hoped that picked the right one.

"They'll kill me anyway," she spat out, glaring at Ivan behind me. "What difference does it make? Kill me and save your energy."

"Vanni, please." I tried one more time. "Stop being a child and listen to me."

"You need to stop being such a savant!" Vanni sneered. "You run away from one powerful man to the next and you think you'll have all that power?!"

I gritted my teeth. I could feel everyone's eyes on me in the room. I knew Nat and Ivan understood, they knew the whole story but now they were being confronted by my past.

Reality and a story were two different things.

"Leave him out of this."

"Him?" She scoffed. Vanni leaned back in her chair, tilting her head to the side as she looked at me incredulously. "You can't even say his name? Are you that scared of Jay?"

I plucked a blade off the tray table and pressed the blade against her throat. I don't know why I didn't stop myself, it was automatic. I was breathing heavily and my body trembled, not from fear but horrible, horrible anger.

I was restraining myself. Just barely.

She went silent, her eyes staring at me in disbelief.

The last time we saw each other, I was covered in blood and terrified.

I didn't know how easy it could be to slip back into my teenage self. I've threatened many people in my life and the only time I killed was in self-defence, that was years ago.

But Vanni didn't know any of that. All she knew was that I was on the run with a trail of bodies behind me, littering the floor like fallen daisies.

She probably expected this from me. Why did she look so surprised?

"Vanni," I said in a cold voice. My voice sounded strange to my ears. "You're going to tell me everything."

She craned her head away but I grabbed her hair, tugging her face closer to me. Vanni looked afraid, her hazel eyes widened when she felt the blade kiss her throat.

"I.....I'm not telling you a damn thing, you miserable excuse of a——"

"Do you want to know how long it takes to bleed out?" I asked, cutting her off.

She looks bewildered, opening her mouth to curse me again. "What the——?"

"My knife is against your neck. Think carefully," I pressed the blade deeper, a tiny drop of blood forming and running down her neck to stain the collar of her silk shirt. "Your carotid artery is only an inch and a half from in. I'll cut through muscle, fascia, and bone just to reach it. It's going to be slow and painful and I'll watch as the life leaves your eyes before you'll only have 20 seconds once I sever it."

Vanni tried to struggle away, "you—-you fucking bitch!"

"Don't think I'll not do it?" I tilted my head. "We're from the same family. I'm just as sadistic as you. Or did you forget how our father made us watch what he did to people he didn't like? I remember well. Do you?"

"Meera!" She cried out. "Don't you dare! They'll kill you if you hurt me."

"Then let them try," I said. "This might get messy. Ivan," I said without turning back. "Would you think of me differently if I killed her?"

He sighed. I could hear the sound of his shows shuffling as he crossed the room and made his way to me. I felt his hand on my shoulder, his lips brushing against my ear.

"Did you think any different of me when I killed someone?"

"No."

"Then do what you must," he said, "I'll clean up the body."

"What?!" Vanni struggled against the chains.

"Tell me a reason," I turned back to look at her. I couldn't feel anything for her even though she was my sister. I just saw a twisted and cruel version that my family made, I didn't seem innocent. "Why shouldn't I just kill you and save me the headache?"

"Meera, I'm your sister." She looked up at me with watery eyes, her veneer cracking like dried-up clay. For once, she looked scared. "You took care of me when I scraped my knee. You taught me how to throw a knife. You gave me candy when I was sad."

I scoffed at her words. They ran hollow and untrue to me. "And yet you couldn't remember that when you tried to kill me?"

"I didn't have a choice!"

"You did!" I snapped, easing my voice. "Just like I did. I made my choice. I don't regret what I had to do. I left because I wanted to live and they wouldn't let me."

"Why could I do?" She screamed. "You left us! You betrayed us! You were supposed to be there for us! I thought we were your family?!"

"You are." I pulled the blade away and dropped it on the ground. The sound was deafening in the packed room. "That's why I'll let you live. This is the difference between me and our family, I'm capable of showing mercy."

I turned around and left the room, feeling all the anger and grief ebb away with each step I took into the forest.

Ivan ran behind me. "Meera, wait!"

I stopped in the middle of the trail.

"Let's go, I'll walk you home."

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I said, pulling my gloves on so I couldn't see my palms. If I had let go, they would've been covered in blood. "I don't lose control so easily."

"It's okay."

"Is it?" I asked, feeling my throat tighten. "She's my little sister. What would you do if it was Nat or Irina?"

"Sweetheart," Ivan said softly. He pulled me into his arms, tucking my head underneath his chin. "This isn't black and white for you. And no matter how much you wish otherwise, you'll have to operate in shades of grey. I won't think less of you for it."

"I thought you'd hate me?"

"Why?"

"I thought you wanted someone whose hands were clean," I said. "My hands aren't."

He kissed the top of my head. "I only want you."

We waited for about twenty minutes before going back inside. The room was quiet until Vanni saw us both.

"Wait!" Her eyes raced around the room, looking for help. "Mr Farewell, please! I'll tell you everything!"

"Everything?" I intoned.

She grits her teeth. This must be humiliating for her. "Everything."

I grabbed a stool and sat down in front of her. "Great. Let's start."