Felix, god bless his heart, drives Meera and me back to the city without a single word.

Meera is curled up next to me. She's quiet but she whimpers in her sleep. Her head is on my shoulder and Her hands clutch the fabric of my shirt. My heart breaks for her because I'm so fucking useless that I can't help her when she's in pain. The wound on my head means nothing compared to her.

I kiss her head, wrapped an around her shoulders and pulled her into my lap. She felt so fragile in my arms like she could break into a million pieces if I looked away for a moment. The way she clutched me on the dock was desperate like she needed something to ground her as she fell apart. Meera never lost her cool, she was calm and collected and she always knew what to do at the right time. I admired that about her.....I still do.

But today, I don't think I've ever felt more scared when she fell apart in my arms. We both smelled awful but I don't care. As long as Meera was in my arms, I didn't care about them much.

At the hospital, they put us into separate rooms.

Nik was the one who held me back, his arms hooked underneath my shoulder as he dragged me off to an examination room. He was saying something but I couldn't hear his words.

I still needed to be looked at but watching Meera's receding figure left me uneasy.

Dr Carlton had been the one to look after her. He and some of the nurses took her to a separate room down the hall. Dr Franz had come in fifteen minutes later, her curly red hair a mess. She walked into my room first, checking my vitals and assessing the wound on my head. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was worried.

Meera had few friends and those she trusted were far away. Haley Franz and Nat were her closest and dearest friends in this city.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked her, keeping my voice even.

Dr Franz looked up at me. "She's with Dr Carlson. He'll take care of her. I need to bandage your wound. I can't let it get infected." She must've caught the look I shot towards the door because she nodded her head towards Nik. He sighed and kept a hand on my shoulder, even if it felt reassuring it was obvious that he was trying to keep me from running away.

It took about ten minutes for her to fix me up and assure me that I didn't have a concussion. I must've been projecting my anxiety because Dr Franz gave me a reassuring look before leaving my room.

Nik and I had five of our men with us, they were the ones who hadn't been injured or needed to be somewhere. I recognised Anya's men who flanked the entrance of the door.

"Is she going to be okay?" Nik asked. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. He kept glancing at the door, expecting someone to walk in. There's a cut on his face covered with gauze. Other than that he looked okay.

Anya had called earlier, her men eliminating the rest of Zoya's men and taking the docks. It only took us half a day to take them once the news about Zoya's death was confirmed. Arlo had escaped. One of Zoya's men had gotten him in a boat and smuggled that shit weasel out before our men could get to him. Nik had sent Nat out to track him down but his trail had gone cold. There was nothing left of him. Maybe he was dead or he was in hiding. Whatever it was, I hoped—mostly for his sake—that he would never come back to New York unless he truly wanted to die.

The Commission must be breathing easy now knowing that this bloody war was over. I did them a favour by defeating Zoya's family but that wasn't the end.

I won but at what cost?

The person I cared about was in a room down the hall, probably hurt and I didn't know anything. This was madness. I felt like a caged tiger the longer I spent inside the room.

"Did she jump off a ship?" Nik asked.

I sighed"Yeah. She did."

He raises an eyebrow sharply. "I don't know if the Doc is reckless or brave."

"Probably both. I'm not surprised. Meera is a fighter."

"No shit, Romeo." Nik gets up and pours himself another cup of coffee. "She's just your type."

"Is she?'

"You know damn well that she is. Don't you dare try to deny it?" He passed me a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup. My arm ached as I reached for it. "So when are you going to ask her out? You're a few months overdue for a date."

I glance at the door, watching for the shadows underneath. "Not now. There's a lot that needs to be done."

"I know. Anya is so busy cleaning up the docks that she couldn't be here. She's been angst ever since she heard about, well, you know." Nik huffed, running his fingers through his hair. "I can't believe Arlo got away. All that work and we lose him. God only knows where he is..."

"Trust me," I said. "He's not going to give up. Zoya killed our father. We killed his. It's even but he's not going to think like that. You know what his mind is like. It's not long before he comes back."

Nik looked at me strangely. "We?" He intoned. "Meera killed Zoya to save you."

I raised my head, glowering at him to shut up. "Nik!"

Our men might be in this room but you could never know how information could get out. There was always a way. The last thing I needed was for several women to question how Zoya was killed. If I had killed him, it would different—it was expected. An eye for an eye, a limb for a limb. Perfectly balanced and fair. But Meera—she had nothing to do with Zoya. The Commission wouldn't care if she was kidnapped, the only thing they would care about is that a civilian killed one of their own.
Meera was intended to be collateral. Cold-hearted as it was to even just think that, It was true.

We could talk about it when she woke up. But for now, I wait and worry.

Dr Carlson opens the door, doing a double-take as he sees all my men in my room. For a second he looks as if he's going to protest but closes his mouth, taking a deep breath in. "Good evening, Mr Farewell. I wish we would've met under better circumstances."

Nik is still sitting on a stool, sipping his coffee. "Same here. But there's not much we can do about the coffee."

I get up, not caring if I look dishevelled or frightening. I had given up on my appearance ever since I dived into the ocean to save Meera. Dr Carlson was a few inches shorter than me, I towered over him. Most people would be shitting their pants but he just looked up at me with cool grey eyes, unflinchingly. I suppose now I knew that this was a shared trait among doctors. Meera always looked me in the eyes, she never looked away.

"How is she?' I ask in a low voice.

Dr Carlson sighs, clutching his clipboard to his chest. "She's not awake but...." He trails off clearing his throat.

"What?" I growl out, my patience wearing thin. My heart is in my throat and my anger is reaching its threshold. "What happened to Meera?"

"Mr Farewell, she's stable but the extent of her injuries is quite severe. She doesn't have family and since you're the closest to her, I'm telling you this." He sighed, glancing down at his papers. "I'm afraid she had a couple of broken ribs—"

I rush past him. I heard Nik trying to call me back but ignored him. I need to see. I just need to know that's okay and breathing and alive.

The door is open with two guards standing there. I stop under the doorway, my hand gripping the frame tightly as I push down my ever-rising fear. Two nurses are in her room, quietly checking her vitals. One of the tucks a blanket over her to keep the chill of the room away. They both see me and go still, not expecting my presence. I ignore them and take a step in.

Meera is on the hospital bed, dressed in a white shift that contrasts her dark hair. I see her sleeping there and I wonder if I should go in. I glanced down at the bandages that wrapped around her hand. I knew there were more bandages around her ribs. She probably looked like a mummy underneath her hospital gown.

Dr Carlson had been the one to inform me about the extent of her injuries: A few broken ribs, several abrasions, and bruises all over her back.

She must've been in so much pain. And it was all my fault.

I slumped against the doorway, unable to take another step in. My shoulder pressed uncomfortably against the frame.

It was all my fault.

I didn't protect her. I promised to protect her. I had failed someone I cared about and now—

Meera looked strange sleeping so vulnerably. Her eyes were closed, her finger hooked up to a monitor that counted the beats of her heart. Her chest moved slowly, the broken ribs struggling to expand with each agonising breath that she took.

I could still remember her eyes looking up at me. The horror and the fear in them, the way she trembled at the blood on her hands. I thought I was going to lose her for a second time. Meera shook like a leaf in my arms, her sobs ripping through me like a sharpened blade. She had felt so delicate and small in my arms like whatever fight she had in her had dissolved away.

My fault.

It kept repeating in my head.

I closed the door behind me and walked toward her bed.

There was a stool next to her bed. I sat down, just staring at her. The sound of her ECG echoed in my ears. Some would find it annoying but to me, it meant that Meera was alive. Her hair had been pulled back, held in place by pins. I reached out for her, gently brushing the loose strands from her face. She didn't stir underneath my touch.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and turned away.

I brushed past Nik and Dr Andre who stood outside. My men followed me silently, neither of them saying a word. I went into my room and sat on the stuffy hospital bed, staring at the door. I wanted to run back out into the hallway and go to Meera. I just wanted Meera close to me but I couldn't do that.

As long as I lived, she would be in danger. What if this happened again? What if someone went after her again? What if she died?

That last thought filled me with numbing dread.

No. I refused to let that happen.

Nik had been the only one in the room, he watch me carefully. Several times he opened his mouth to say something but closed it. That was for the best. If he opened his mouth, I might've snapped and said something that I would've regretted. I nearly lost Nat and I'm losing Meera. I can't afford to lose any more people because of my stubbornness or my weakness.

"I'd like to be discharged," I said, getting up and picking up my folded shirt. "There's a lot a need to do."

Dr Carlson looked concerned, he glanced back at Dr Franz who hugged her clipboard to her chest. They were both having a silent conversation with their eyes. I wondered how long it took for them to be able to do that.

"But, Mr Farewell......your head." He said. "You need at least a day of observation. You could have a concussion."

I turned around. "I have my men around me. Do you think they're incompetent?"

"No!" Dr Carlson shook his head, his glasses nearly flying off his face. "That's not what I mean at all!

"Then get it done."

"And Meera. I mean—-Dr. Saravana." Dr Franz frowned, taking the papers from my hand. "Should I.......let you know when she wakes up?"

I knew that they were close. Meera used to tell me how she liked having a friend at work, not only to rely on but to talk to.

I'll admit I felt a bit jealous. I liked having Meera's attention on me. But Meera had her own life outside of mine——friends, family, an apartment and a job. We were always drawn to each other but that didn't mean that we revolved around each other.

I always wondered who she cherished the most.

Dr Haley Franz had been around for the past four years. Her situation had become dangerous enough that she decided to work for a gangster.  I didn't know the specifics of what made her run but she did her job and that was all that was needed.

I was glad that when Meera woke up, someone would be there to take care of her.

"No," I said.

Dr Franz looked like she wanted to argue. Her lips pressed into a thin line. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I nodded at her. "Have a good night, Dr Franz."

I had some of my men stationed at the hospital, they had taken over for Felix and Eddie. Both of them would be in the hospital, recovering from their injuries. I made a mental note to give them a pay raise. They protected Meera when I couldn't.

Someone opened the door for me. Nik trailed behind me, I could feel him staring holes into my back.

"You're an idiot," Nik said, sliding into the seat next to me. He sent a glare at me but I didn't care.

"It's for the best," I said. It sounded unconvincing to my ears. "Don't try to convince me."

He scoffed. "Sure."

I growled. "It's none of your business."

"Meera deserves better than someone who's going to run away." Nik scoffed at me, not caring about what anybody was going to say. "I don't know what your deal is, Ivan. It's like you're determined to be fucking miserable for the rest of your life. Maybe that's your problem."

It would be for the best. Meera deserved someone who could make her happy and keep her safe. She had a tough life——hard decisions and constantly surviving on her own.

She didn't need me.

But I needed her.

It was all my fault.