MEERA

Friday game night was suppose to fun but instead it turned into a disaster.

This is why nobody likes to play Monopoly.

"I am the king of the hill, baby!" Dr. Carlson cackled like a manic. "Now bow before me, mere mortals! For I have achieved peak financial prowess over which you lack!"

"Hey, General Patton!" Nat called out. She threw a small plastic red house piece at his head. It bounced off and landing on the floor with a clack. "It's Monopoly, not World Domination. Fuck off!"

Haley slams her hand down on the table, making the board and its pieces shake. She levels a glare at Andre. "You are a duplicitous man who uses underhand tactics and tricks to win!" She picks up another plastic board peace and throws it at him too. "Fuck! I can't believe you've done this!"

"You're just mad because I made better financial decisions that you!" Andre grins, fanning himself with colorful Monopoly money.

"Tch. That's just luck!"

"You betrayed me! I thought we were a team!" Dr. Franz pointed at him sharply. "I trusted you! We're partners!"

"We were......until you bought Park Place and refused to sell it to me."

"It has high real estate value!"

"That's enough!" I yelled, throwing down my cards on the table. "Enough, both of you! It's just a game!" I plead, hoping that they'd stop arguing.

"Just a game?!" Haley gasped, holding a hand over her chest. "It's not a game. It's about the principle!"

"Ha!" Now I see why they didn't give him whiskey. He was insufferably smug about winning. "I offered you The Railroad station but that was too good for you!" He said.

I narrowed my eyes at Andre.

"Nobody even lands there!"

"You're just bitter."

"She's right." Nat chimes in, escalating the situation further.

"Nat!" I hiss. She just shrugs carelessly.

I got up, ready to separate them but Nat stopped me with her arm. She placed a bowl of popcorn in my lap and watched as the two quarreled over imaginary finances and the evils of capitalism.

"No, no." Nat said, already munching on popcorn. "Let them go at it. This is entertaining than Monopoly. I want to see who'll win."

This is why we can't have nice things. It took us almost thirty minutes to calm both of them down and switch over to a game that didn't induce homicidal rage. We played Life next because that was the only to ensure that we would talk to each other on Monday morning.

I spun the wheel, waiting for a number that was higher than five.

I had chosen a little blue car. So far it was just little old me and a degree for company. It should be insulting how my life was paralleling a board game.

"Finally!" I grinned at the needle landed on a seven. "Yay! Money!"

"Congrats. You're one step to getting married and having a carload of screaming brats." Nat said next to me. She held a mug of beer in her hands that she took occasional sips out of. "I'm going to adopt as many cats as possible, marry a rich guy, kill the rich guy and take all his money."

"I don't think that's how this game works, Nat." I said.

"I'm sure we could set you up with someone if you wanted, Nat." Haley said, her red curls bouncing in her excitement. She spun for her turn. "Some of the nurses asked about you."

Nat snorted into her drink. "I doubt it."

"It can't be that bad." I leaned back on the comfy couch.

"They either run on the first date or never call back."

"I'm sure that's an exaggeration."

"Meh." She half shrugs, looking completely disinterested in the bird game. "I don't care. I have my bar, my apartment, and my motorbike. What else do I need?"

Haley picked up on the mood faster than I did. She switched the conversation before I could even ask anything more.

"Speaking of relationships," Haley gave me a look, a wierd smile on her face. "What's going on with you and Mr. Farewell?"

"Which mr. Farewell?" I asked, moving three steps ahead and playing dumb. When in doubt, be ignorant as possible. "Last time I checked, there's three of them. Be specific."

She smiled slyly. "You know which one."

Nat groaned, rolling her head back and staring up at the ceiling. "I'm not drunk enough for this."

"Shhh! This is interesting!" Haley silenced her and turned back around to face me. "But seriously, what's going on between you two?"

"Nothing." I said.

"Really?"

I gave her a pointed look and glanced down at Dr. Carlson——now a very inebriated Andre——who was resting his head peacefully on her lap before glancing up at her face. She turned red as a beetroot when I smirked knowingly, starting from her neck all the way up to her ears till she resembled a tomato. It was kinda cute to see her so speechless for once.

"Well......" she cleared her throat, her fingers still running through Andre's hair tenderly. The gesture was so gentle, I suspected that Haley had done this so often. "It's a long story."

I grinned, leaning over. "I knew it."

She covered her cheeks with her hands, hiding away the non alcoholic induced blush that spread across her cheeks and neck. "I know, dating in the workplace can be 'complicated.' But I really like him and I don't care if he's seven years older than me."

I smiled, leaning back into my seat. "That's....really sweet."

"You think so?" She smiled shyly. "I don't know how my family would handle it. They kinda wanted me to marry a lawyer."

I wondered what it was like to be that in love with somebody.

"If you feel confident about it then why should you hold yourself back." I said. "As long as he respects you and treats you well, right?"

"Thanks, Meera. I hope things go well with Mr. Farewell too!"

I spluttered. "I'm serious. Nothing is going on with him."

"That's it!" Nat got up and walked towards the bar. "I'm getting more alcohol! Please don't talk about my brothers dick when I'm gone!"

"I haven't even seen it!" I spluttered out, feeling my face flush.

"Yet!" Haley intoned and spun for her turn.

"Oh, Haley." I glanced down at the board, desperate to change the topic. "You're getting married. Congrats!"

Dr. Franz picks up a little blue person and places it her car.

"Who's marrying Haley?" Dr. Carlson slurred, lifting his head up. "Who dares?"

He reached for the board, fumbled with her yellow car. Dr. Carlson scoffs, plucks the little blue man out and tosses him out of the car.

With a smile, he parks the plastic car in front of the church and lays back down, sans that little blue man.

"Nobody else is gonna marry me, honey," she said gently.

The both of them were on the couch opposite to us. His head was in her lap, her fingers were running through his hair.

I felt a little envious of their relationship. I didn't know if it was strictly platonic or if they actually were in some sort or relationship——whatever it was, it was rather sweet.

I wish I could've had that with someone.

Nat rolled her eyes. "This game is boring."

"We just started."

"I know," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Monopoly was so much more exciting."

I laughed and spun for my turn. "You threatened to disembowel me. Twice."

"That's because you teamed up with Haley and not me," she muttered. "We had an agreement"

"Jealous?"

"As if. We just make a better team."

Dr. Carlson sat up. His hair was a salt and pepper mess, his eyes half open, and he looked like he was one more shot away from alcohol poisoning.

Hayley smiled, smoothing his hair down.

"Tired?" She asked him. He nodded mutely.

"I'm surprised he lasted this long." The giant clock in the middle of the bar ticked slowly towards a new day, only three minutes till midnight. "Do you want me to call a taxi?"

"Nah," she waved me off. "I have my car. I'll take him home."

I cleaned up as Nat helped Haley with Dr. Carlson.

I leaned against the bar, staring around. It was different from the last time I had been here. The lack of pulsing music and people made it feel bigger.

Maybe Haley was right about something.

I liked Ivan. He was kind and sweet and listened well. And he was handsome as hell. But I don't if I wanted a relationship because I had been lonely for so long or if it was because i felt like I should be in one.

In three more years, I'd be thirty. I've hit most of the milestones in any young adults life. I have a good job, I have a place to sleep, and I have a hobby to keep me busy.

The only thing I'm missing is a relationship.

I know I could live without one. Romantic love isn't the only love out there but I wanted the same things that others had.

I wanted that feeling of giddiness when you saw someone after a long day of work. I wanted to wake up to someone and I wanted to eat breakfast with them. I wanted someone there when I was trapped in my thoughts. But most of all, I didn't want to be lonely anymore. I needed someone I could lean back upon, just for a little bit.

I'm so tired of being strong all the time.

There's a lot of things in my life that went as wrong as they did right.

My family is a whole can of worms that I didn't even want to open and the only remainder of family that I had were my uncle and Amara.
Mom......well, mom is mom. I don't know where she's been and I don't know if I'll ever hear from her. I still love her but I miss her dearly.

I sighed and started to put on my coat.

I was getting lost in my thoughts again.

"Wanna get going?" Nat asked.

"Yeah."

Nat and I decided to walk home. Two steaming hot cups of hot chocolate and our jackets kept us from the cold.

"This is was fun." I said. "I'm glad you arranged game night."

"Meh." She shrugged. "I didn't feel like opening the bar tonight."

"I'm sure Haley is happy you did."

"Who said I did that for Haley?" She flipped her hair, nearly whacking me in the face. "I just wanted to play board games. You guys just make it interesting."

I linked my arm with her. "I'll take your word for it."

"Please don't."

I chuckled, pulling my scarf closer to myself.

Snow had blanketed the city. The snow that had been untouched was pure white. Huge piles of snow, now grey and mushy lined the streets.

I was starting to like the cold.

"Think they made it home safe?" I asked.

"Those two are probably making out in the cab right now." Nat make a face, her upper lip curling up. "I regret setting those two up. They're ridiculously in love, it's almost nauseating."

"It's nice." I said. "Ever been in love like that?"

"Once."

"Really?" I asked, my interest piqued.

Nat sighed. "It was a long time ago."

"First loves are like that I guess."

"So the untouchable Dr. Saravana had a lover," she grinned. "Do tell."

"I'm not that untouchable," I raised an eyebrow. "Tell me about your mysterious first love."

"Hey, we're friends right?" She nudged me with her shoulder. "Like you wouldn't judge me or anything?"

"Yeah. We're definitely friends," I tugged on her arm, stopping her. "And why would I ever judge you?"

"God...this is difficult to say." She ran her fingers through her hair, nearly pulling some of the platinum blonde stands out of her ponytail. "That means a lot, you know. Especially from you."

"You're welcome." I smiled reassuringly.

"Well.....she was my best friend in high school."

"Oh."

I didn't mean oh in a bad way. It was more of a oh-I-didn't-see-that-coming sort of way.

"Yeah, I'm gay," she said, throwing up jazz hands. "Surprise!"

"Congrats."

"Why?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I just felt like saying it."

"Right, anyway." She cleared her throat. "It's not that complicated. I dated my best friend in high school. Dad found out, he wasn't that happy."

"Oh, Nat. I'm so sorry." I said. I sling my arm around her. She didn't push me off, Nat leaned into me a little bit. "What happened?"

"I'm sure you're familiar with strict dads. I think he was more angry about me being with a girl than me actually dating." Nat had this stricken look on her face, her eyes turned distant. She smiled bitterly and looked away. "Good old dad. Always worried about the wrong things."

"What happened after that?"

"Then dad died and I turned up at the funeral." She glared at the sidewalk. "It was a shit show afterwards. Ivan asked me if I wanted to come home now that dad was gone. I blew up on him, and I know I shouldn't have but it was years of anger that just suddenly came up." She leaned her head against my shoulder. "Ever regret something even though it's not you fault."

"Yeah." I said, pressing myself against her side unconsciously. "All the time."

"Something like that. Ivan apologized because he's a better man compared to our dad. He actually gave a damn. He begged and pleaded for me to come home but I just couldn't. It reminded me of too much."

I could imagine being in her shoes. The stares, the judgement, the constant feeling that you're in the wrong even though your right—it weighs down heavily on a persons shoulder. How did she survive it?

I was born in London but I spent most of my years in India...it wasn't by choice. My mother and my father didn't have a good relationship, it was horrible and I knew the only reason my mother held on was to keep me safe.

Sometimes my nightmares were of the day I lived with my family. All the misery and fear was amplified in my dream—this time I didn't escape after that fateful day. I died over and over again, each time more painful than the last.

We were both ghosts haunted by our trauma.

I threw my arms around Nat and pulled her close to me. Nat was not the type to hug someone but she wasn't the type to push someone away either. She needed a hug, even if she didn't say it.

"I'm sorry, Nat." I said, my voice wavering a little. "It must've been so awful."

"Don't be. It's all over and behind me." Nat sighed. "Enough about me. What about yours?" She asked.

I winced, not sure how to say it. Only four people knew about why I left L.A. my mother, Uncle Roma, Anya...and him.

"Well..." I winced. "He didn't really love me. And I didn't love him."

Her eyes narrowed, the soft green of her eyes turning into flint. "Is that bastard the reason you're running?"

"Yeah." I sighed, pushing back the memories of flowers painted with blood and the cruel laugh than ringed inside my ears.

Even after all these years, I couldn't forget it.

I could recall that day in vivid details. The smell of gun-smoke, my mothers screams, the edge of the blade under my fingertips, the taste of blood in my mouth and the stares of my family as they stared at me with contempt. A lesser person would've gone mad with what I had to endure—before, during, and after.

It was wretched memory that I didn't want to visit. Just thinking about me made me want to jump in a shower and scrub my skin clean.

Nat must've seen the look on my face because she held my hand, squeezing gently. If my skin were lighter, I would've looked pale as a ghost.

"I want to know but I can tell that it's something you don't want to talk about." Nat stopped in front of her house, fishing for the keys. "It's okay. I get it. You can tell me later."

I pinched the root of my nose, feeling a headache coming. "Thank you. It's...it's a lot."

"Men suck, don't they?"

I laughed out loud. It felt good to say something like that. "They're the worst."

Nat chucked off her shoes and flopped onto the couch, patting the spot next to her. I took off my coat and tossed it into the coffee table before sitting down next to her. It was much more warmer inside.

Pharaoh was curled up in his bed near the fireplace, his nose twitching when he saw up. With a soft meow he left off his bed and trotted towards us. Nat cooed, patting the spot next to her head for him.

I reached out, running my hand over his back. He purred loudly at my attention, snuggling further into Nat's neck.

"Why do you like my brother?" Nat asked, stroking Pharaoh's fur softly. She looked at me with hazy eyes.

The alcohol must be wearing off.

I could've made an excuse but there was no point. I was done lying to myself about my feelings.

What could've I said other than the truth.

"I don't know." I sighed and leaned my head back. "He respects me and treats me like I'm precious. Does that make me desperate?"

"Honestly?" She contemplated. "A little bit but if he makes you happy, then what can I do about it. You should be with someone who gives a damn about you."

"Thanks, Nat."

"Anytime," she yawned. "These couches are really comfy."

"You bought them." I draped a blankets over her and then wrapped one around my shoulders. "Thank you,"

"For what?"

"For telling me. About everything."

She shrugged one shoulder. "What are friends for?"

"Goodnight, Nat." I smiled and pulled the blanket closer, feeling warm and sleepy.