Dedicated to @cryingwithpotatoes for her outstanding detective work

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PRINCESS FABIANNE

Age: 25 + years old

I AM NOT waiting for a text message. I focus my eyes on the revised guest list for my 26th year old birthday party this year. Unlike Laurie, my birthdays have never been a small quiet affair. My birthday parties were often, a chance for me to connect with all the royals, foster relationships and find the ideal man to marry. 

Everything had been settled, but with Adaliz's engagement announced to us, I knew it's a matter of time till they found a man for me. My phone buzzes, and I grab it quickly to peer at the message. 

It's three in the morning, Fabianne. I do need to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. 

I'd known the time. I was an expert on time difference since many of my friends didn't stay in Belgium. This? I squish the distaste on my tongue at the reply. I ignored the feeling to my best of my abilities. 

I went back to the revised guest list. The sun is gentle on my skin, I hoped for a good tan by the time Adaliz's fiancé came and by the time for my birthday. I disliked fake tans, the press always seems to know when you've gotten one done.

I'm deciding whether to invite Prince Philip of Greece and his wife or not since we were kind of ex's. Ex's in the sense where our parents had been discussing whether we should get married or not. In the end, without much of a formal discussion with my family, The Queen of Greece had apologised and said he found love with an Irish commoner. 

I was relieved at the news, my parents? They were furious.

I left his name on the guest list. It would be nice to meet the woman who saved me from getting married to him. 

When I glance up, I see Jasper striding across the garden in swimming shorts. Our eyes meet and he waves at me. "Do you want to join?" He calls out from where he stands. 

For a minute, I'm tempted. It's the perfect way to get a tan. Instead, I say, "Sorry Jasper, I'm drowning in work."

Jasper shouts across, "See you later then."

Minutes later, I spotted Laurie, all limbs since his growth spurt jogging past me in the gardens, also in swimming trunks. 

I try not to feel envious of them. Jasper who might not need to get married to someone he doesn't care much for and Laurie who could do anything he wanted to. He didn't need to stick around. He could work and do whatever he wanted. 

But at the same time, I wasn't keen on having another sister, I liked being the rose among the thorns. I liked the reassurance I received that I am important. I had a purpose.

I try to focus on my 26th Birthday, to be frank, the excitement of my birthday parties had long passed. I was hardly interested in them. I glanced through my invites, a royal purple and bright yellow printed on eco-friendly paper that's heavy and lush looking, to the decorations proposed by the planner to the dress I was wearing. It's a themed birthday, the theme was Goddess: The Path of Light. 

Elle couldn't get over how exciting the theme was. Laurie was annoyed the theme was Goddess and not Gods and Goddesses, he was worried he'd have to wear a dress, Elle had ruffled his hair and joked he should just wear a tiara. 

I close my eyes. I never freak out but I can feel my nerves playing with me. I take one last glance at the list and email my planner and sent a copy of it to my mother. Then taking my laptop with me, I headed to my bedroom. 

The walk was easy, I barely notice the guards as they let me in the palace. As I'm walking to my room. I spot the Captain Nathaniél as he walks. He stops in front of me and gives a low bow, "Princess Fabianne," He greets. 

"How may I be of assistance?" I reply. 

Nathaniél rose up. I try to ignore the flutter in my chest when his beautiful green eyes meet mine. It's the same flutter that keeps me away from him, for fear it becomes more than a childhood crush. 

"If it is no bother to you, I would like to talk to you." 

"I'm really sorry Captain," I say feigning apology, "but I do have much work to do before my birthday and my trip to Malaysia."

"I understand." He bows again, and I look at anywhere but his straight brown hair. When I leaves, I glance at him and curse myself for being so weak. I couldn't act like this for the rest of my life. 

When Nathaniél had just joined the Palace Guards, he'd been 25 and fresh out of the Belgian Military. His hair was cropped close to his head but it was his green eyes that drew me in. I kept seeing him wherever I went. Elle thought he was a hunk, so did Maise. Elle used to break the rules when it came to him guarding me. He used to sit down with us, talk to us. Elle managed to pry so much from him.

And the more I knew him, my crush had blossomed more and more. He was all I could think about at 19. One night, I think I'd drank too much. I had hugged him and reached in for a kiss. I'd blanked out after that, but since then he'd been reassigned and I didn't know where nor did he reach out to me.

It's been seven years since then but I still feel the flush on my cheeks when I thought of it, when I thought of him like that. We'd not spoken because I kept hoping for him to make the first move. He never did. 

I try not to turn back to look at him, to talk to him again. I kissed him. He should make the move if he wants to. But now? It's too late. 

I'm  relieved to enter my room. 

The rooms in the Palace were big. Mine was no different, When you opened the door, there was a beautiful oak round table with fresh flowers brought in daily. You move a little in and you'll find my bedroom, I walk straight to my study table.

My study table is a polished white that's been in the palace for so long. I've used it so often, it had always felt like mine though I'm sure it's belonged to someone else once upon a time. I put my laptop down, turning it on. 

I sent a quick message to Puteri Aisha of Johor. It would be early morning there, six thirty in the morning and it's always by luck when I could catch her. I wait for her to reply and within minutes, I get a video call.

My smile widens and I answer her call. Puteri Aisha was dressed in pure white, her hair, her face everything was put together. "Selamat Pagi, Kawanku." She greets me in Malay.

My malay was decent and I reply her back in my best malay which meant good morning, Puteri Aisha, how have you been?. "Selamat Pagi, Puteri Aisha. Apa Khabar?"

She claps her hands, switching to English, which she was more than fluent in, "I've been great Fabianne. I'm a little surprised you're calling me so early, to be frank."

"I know," I'm apologetic, I normally try to find the best time to call them, "I'm just feeling a little down for my 26th birthday."

"It's not a bad year," Aisha says, "I had a good one."

"I know, it's just that, well... keep this to yourself," I say. 

Aisha on the other end mimes keeping her mouth shut. 

"Adaliz has a fiancé."

She's silent on the other end but I can see her eyes widen. "No way," she says shocked. 

"Yeah," I reply glumly.

"But then you and Lu-"

"SHH-" I cut her off immediately glancing at the door. "Don't say his name!"

Aisha rolls her eyes, "Well, what are you going to do about him then?"

I put my face in my hands, "I really don't know."

"Have you told him at least?"

"I tried but it's like three in the morning there," I whine a little.

Aisha nods in agreement, "And he's probably asleep."

"Yeah," I reply, "They even took his pocket knife from me."

"No way," Aisha says horrified, "that really sucks." She shakes her head, "does anyone know it's..."

"His? No one. I've kept quiet about it but the Captain Guard came over today to probably ask me about." 

"I really would hate to be in your position," Aisha says sympathetically, "but on the bright side you'll be coming over to stay for two weeks for my son's cukur rambut ceremony, we could plan you running away then."

I laugh, "You're so dramatic."

"You're so safe," Aisha teases back. There's a sound on her end and Aisha groans. "I've got to go Fabianne, I'll talk to you at your birthday party!" With that, her line goes dark. I smile sitting in front of the computer looking forward to going to Malaysia and escaping the craziness that is the palace. 

Aisha and I had met at one of my many birthday parties, she couldn't speak French, Dutch and German, so we spoke in English. When we did, it felt like I met my other half, she, like me, came from a big family. The more we spoke, the more alike we were and the more I love to see her. 

That was one of the fun things about my birthday parties, it was like a reunion of all my friends. The only thing I could hope for was, that my mothers candidate whoever he was for my hand, would not be coming. 

It's the only disaster I could see that would occur. I hadn't even figured out how I would handle it. I close my eyes.

Don't think of it.

But the more I told myself not to think about it, the more I ended up thinking about it. The more I worried and of course, the less I slept. For my sake, I hope Adaliz's engagement doesn't work out.

But knowing him, it will.

AN

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