Astrid grinned as she looked at the guns in Bellamy's hands. They could finnaly fight against the grounders with supplies only they had.

"This changes everything" Bellamy sighed blissfully as he looked up at her "No more running from spears. Ready to be a badass, sweetheart?"

Astrid scoffed playfully "I'm a badass without the guns, Blake" she smiled as he stood up and towered over her.

Bellamy chuckled quietly and shook his head "That you are"

Astrid raised an eyebrow and sent Bellamy a pointed look "You know Clarke is going to be totally against guns, right? Like i can sense her disapproval from here"

Bellamy raised his own eyebrow in return "Since when do you care what Clarke says? You're a leader too" he smiled gently as he went to draw and 'x' at the back of the room "Now, you need to learn how to use this"

"I kinda know how to use a gun." Astrid informed as she went and picked up a gun of her own, liking the feeling of the weight in her hands.

Bellamy shook his head and positioned his own gun on his shoulder, took a stance and pulled the trigger. And nothing happened.

"You are really good at this" Astrid's voice dripped with sarcasm as a small smirk made its way on her face.

Besides the fact that his lips turned upwards, he ignored the comment and took a couple steps back. "Come here" Bellamy gestured to the spot in front of him. Astrid huffed quietly and stood in front of Bellamy positioning the gun on her shoulder. "A little higher" he said and positioned the gun higher on her shoulder. He then put a hand on her shoulder and one on her hip and turned Astrids body flush against his.

Astrid could feel heat rise to her cheeks as shivers ran down her spine. "Like this?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper as she turned her head towards Bellamy without realizing they were that close. Their noses were touching and they were stuck staring at eachother until Bellamy cleared his throat.

"Yeah, like that" he nodded his head and took a couple of steps back.

Astrid turned back towards the target, took an deep breath and shot the gun. It barely missed the middle of the 'x'

"Fuck yeah!" Astrid cheered. She turned to see Bellamy with a small sad smile on his face. Astrid was confused but didn't question it. "Anyway, we should pack up and go"

Bellamy nodded slightly and went to his own pack as Astrids eyes followed his movements. "You left Miller with the grounder. You must trust him a lot" Astrid said after a couple seconds of silence.

Bellamy turned to look at her and crossed his arms "You should keep him close. The others trust him"

Astrid furrowed her eyebrows in confusion "I should keep him close? Bellamy what are you talking about?" Astrid asked until realization hit her like a freaking brick "Wait. You were going to run. That's why you took so many rations, that's why you were so eager to leave." Astrid said, anger lacing her tone.

"I don't have a choice. The Ark will be here soon" Bellamy tried to explain.

Astrid raised both her eyebrows "So you were just going to leave your sister? Your responsibility?"

Bellamys eye twitched "Octavia hates me. She'll be fine"

Astrid shook her head as she crossed her arms in order not to punch him "You don't know-"

Bellamy interrupted her with an angered sigh "Look, I shot the Chancellor. They're gonna kill me, Astrid. Best case scenario they lock me up with the grounder for the rest of my life and theirs no way in hell I'm giving Jaha that satisfaction" he almost shouted then sighed again "Keep practicing. I need some air." And before Astrid could say anything else, he left the bunker in a hurry.

Astrid blinked almost as if what just happened wasn't real then yelled in frustration. She ran a hand through her hair then rubbed her tired eyes. When opening them, she wasn't in the bunker anymore. She was in the forest.

She glanced around confused and looked down at her hands, her eyes widening at the sight. Her hands were covered in blood. She tried to wipe them on her pants but the blood wouldn't get off.

She glanced back up and felt her heart stop. In front of her was a burned Atom, a creepy smile on his face.

"Hello Astrid" Atom greeted, his voice sounding further, almost like he was underwater.

"Atom?" Astrid question, her voice cracking.

"How does it feel to be a killer?" Atom raised what Astrid supposed was an eyebrow.

Astrid shook her head before taking a couple steps back while Atom took steps forward "You asked me to kill you. It was a mercy kill."

Atom stood there, almost as if he was thinking "Perhaps" he paused "But what about me?" and suddenly, it wasn't Atom anymore. It was Murphy.

Astrid took more steps back as tears spilled down her cheeks "No, no, no. I had to, Johnny. You know I had to-"

"No you didn't!" Murphy yelled "You banished me. You killed me. It's all your fault"

Astrid sobbed more as she muttered 'no' again and again. And then it wasn't Murphy anymore. It was her dad. And he had the most disappointed expression on his face. "Dad?" Astrid's voice cracked.

"You killed me, Astrid" he sternly said "If you didn't drag Clarke in the vent that day, she wouldn't have lied about me" he took more steps towards her "It was never Clarkes fault. It was yours"

"No dad, I'm sorry. Please forgive me" Astrid watched through her tears as her dad transformed into Dax.

"Whatever, crazy bitch" Dax, a delinquent from camp, sneered as he knocked Astrid unconscious .

•

Astrid woke up with pounding headache. She put her hand on her temple and pulled it back, only to see it coated in blood.

Astrid tried to think what happened but only one thought came to her mind. Bellamy.

She quickly stood up, after stumbling a bit, then took her gun and ran out of the bunker only to see Dax above Bellamy with a gun pointed at his head.

"Put the gun down, Dax" Astrid ordered sternly as Dax and Bellamy turned to her.

"Should have stayed down there, Astrid. I was going to make your death less painfull. Shumway said otherwise, but you're a girl so," Dax shrugged as he kept his gun trained on her.

Astrid ignored the sexist comment and looked at Bellamy "What is he talking about. What deal did you make with Shumway?"

"Shumway gave me the gun. He gave me the gun to shoot the Chancellor" Bellamy stated as he looked between Astrid and Dax.

"Put your gun down, Astrid" Dax sneered.

"Put yours first" Astrid challenged.

"Your choice" Dax said. Astrid quickly pulled the trigger on her gun only for it to misfire. Astrid muttered a curse word under her breath as she ran behind a tree, successfully avoiding Dax' bullets.

"No!" Bellamy lunges at Dax and knocks him off his feet. The two exchange punches until Dax gets the upper hand and straddles Bellamy while punching him some more.

"Get the fuck off of him" Astrid yells as she hits Dax in the head with her elbow. Dax in return hits Astrid in her stomach were her wound was. Astrid stumbled on the ground with a gasp as Dax got on top of her and threw a punch. Before he could punch her again, he started choking on his own blood because of the bullet Bellamy pushed in his neck.

Astrid pushed Dax off of her with a grunt, only to see Bellamy with a crestfallen expression on his face. Astrdi crawled next to him on a tree and took his hand in her own "You're okay" Astrid assured.

Bellamy shook his head as a tear made its way down his face "No, I'm not. My mother... If she knew what I've done, who I am. She raised me to be better, to be good"

Astrid felt her heart break at the statement "Bellamy-"

"All I do is hurt people" he interrupted her "I'm a monster" his voice cracked at the end.

Astrid sat up straighter and took his face in her hands "Bellamy Blake listen to me because I am not saying this again. You are not a monster, and never will be a monster. You did what you had to do to survive, to protect the people you love. But you will be a coward if you leave because of the Ark. The camp needs you, Octavia needs you, I need you" Astrid stated truthfully as something appeared in Bellamys eyes. It was admiration.

"Jaha will kill me when he comes down" Bellamy said, still not taking his head out of her hands.

Determination filled Astrids eyes "I will kill Jaha before he touches a hair on your pretty head"

Bellamy smiled cheekily "You think I'm pretty?"

Astrid chuckled and pushed his face away. She was glad old Bellamy was back though. "Shut up, you moron."

Bellamy shook his head as they both leaned on the tree and intertwined their hands.

It was quiet a few minutes before Astrid spoke "It was Shumway"

Bellamy turned to look at her, confused "What?"

"The day I punched Marcus Kane in the nose, I was going to kill Shumway"

••••••••

It's 3 am and I literally have no energy left. I feel like dying. See you in Hell assholes.

Love you     xoxo gossip girl.

I'm sorry. This is what I do when i don't sleep. I write nonsense:))