The chills she felt down her spine on hearing the news was something she knew she wouldn't be forgetting very soon. It was the sound of her phone hitting the ground that jolted her back to reality. As soon as she bent to pick her phone, her breaths became laboured. Scatrering her desk and drawer she frantically searched for her inhaler. Thankfully after a few more seconds she found it in her drawer. She took one puff after another until she felt her breath slowly even out. She settled down on her chair at loss of the right emotion to feel. She barely knew what exactly was going on until she felt a stray tear roll down her cheek.

He was gone, this was it. It was the end for him. She slowly got up walking to her door to lock it, she didn't need anyone to see her this way or ask what was wrong. She didn't need anyone's sympathy. She cried for what felt like 10 minutes or maybe an hour, she cried non stop, silently of course. Finding it hard to stop the tears, it was like one pulled the other out.

Looking down at her wristwatch, she thought it was best for her to leave. She walked up to her door slowly unlocking it, she didn't know why she did that but she did it anyway. With her head hanging low, she briskly walked out of the office ignoring eye contact with anyone. She walked to her car and turned the ignition. The car once again refused to come on. Once again because this was the third time this had happened this month. Her day couldn't possibly have gone any worse.

Right there and then she called her lying mechanic and yelled at him over the phone barely giving him anytime to explain anything or lie to her again. She cut the call after making her point and of course telling him to come pick it up as soon as possible. She didn't want to know if it was the battery or the engine this time, she was just tired. A little more time and she should be getting a new car she thought to herself. She called an Uber and was notified it should be at her place in 20 minutes. She pulled the mirror in her front down to look at herself. Not any much difference, her eyes were swollen and she looked like she had been punched in the face.

After looking through the vehicle for any valuables, she walked to the gate of the office to wait for her Uber ride, she hoped whoever it was would come soon because her son must have been waiting for her. She constantly looked at her phone to check how close the driver was. The sun was too hot for her to be standing there for that long. After standing there for so much time, she saw a Car stop almost beside her. She walked up to the car and knocked on the window barely noticing or taking note of the car type, it had to be the driver she thought to herself, the location showed that he was in front of the building already.

The window slowly came down to reveal a man who looked very confused and irritated. "Good afternoon, please are you the designated Uber driver?" She asked. "Do I look like an Uber driver to you?" He replied very angrily. Realising she had made a mistake she quickly apologised. "Oh sorry, the app indicated the driver was already in front of the building. I'm so sorry" She could have answered differently because he was rude but she didn't have it in her to fight. She lacked the energy. She took two steps back to move away from the vehicle.

She decided to call the driver who kept saying he was right in front of the gate, the mapping was obviously wrong so she told him to drive out of the street he was to the main road and wait in front of the UBA bank right at the beginning of the street she was. She walked to the main road and stood there for some minutes before a car approached her and this time she carefully checked to see it was the one.

As soon as she entered the driver started asking questions and talking endlessly about anything and everything. She found it very irritating but decided to ignore him, looking out the window. She soon got to her son's school where he was already waiting at the gate man's place when she arrived.

He didn't look very ecstatic to see her and she couldn't blame him. Even the gate men must have thought she was irresponsible. He must have been waiting for quite a while. "Hey Timi, how are you doing? I'm sorry I came late" She said. "I'm okay mum" He replied. She knew from the look on his face and the way he replied that he was getting tired of her apologies. She came late almost all the time. She held out her hand for him to hold and he took it as they walked up to the car she came with.

"Mummy, where is your car and who is this man?" He asked as they entered the car. He had always been very inquisitive and she didn't know if it was something she liked or not because she didn't always have answers to his questions. "My car broke down but hopefully the mechanic will fix it today. I should be getting it back tomorrow. This man on the other hand is our driver. He'll take us home" She replied him. "We have a driver now?" He asked. "Not really" She replied, hoping he wouldn't dig any further. He didn't but the driver decided it was the right time for him to speak again.

"Fine boy, what of daddy?" The man asked. This had to be the last straw that broke the camel's back. "Face your front and drive sir, there's no reason for this. Just take us home" She yelled at him. It felt good to know that it was the last she heard of him for the rest of the journey home.

                            ~~~~~~~~~~~

After washing the plates she and her son had used for dinner, she took him to his room to put him to sleep. "So we are done with all your assignments, right?" She asked him. "Yes mum we are" He replied. "Okay then, let's get you to sleep" She said. After reading him some bedtime stories and she was sure he had fallen asleep, she proceeded to leave the room but just as she stood up her son sat up and called her back. "Mummy, what's going on? Why don't you come early all the time?". She looked back at him and slowly sat down and as hard as she tried to prevent the tears from falling she couldn't, she was overwhelmed. She had become a shadow of herself recently and she didn't know who to blame anymore.

She thought of blaming her son's father for leaving her and making things much harder for her and she also thought of blaming her father for dying and making the day go to shit for her but somehow she felt the urge to blame herself for blaming other people for her problems. No matter how hard she was working to distract herself from the mess that her life was, it was hardly working. In between sobs, she looked up at her son who came closer to hug her, she hugged him and once again apologised for her late coming. He didn't pry any further and she appreciated it. She knew she wouldn't be able to explain herself to him even if she tried. He was just a little boy.