my biggest fear
is to live an ordinary life
doing ordinary things
surrounded by ordinary people
who do ordinary things as well.
i fear the life
of graduating for no good
and becoming a dutiful wife
or a working mom.
i fear the life
of strict scheduled routine
where there's no scope of adventure
for i have responsibilities to attend to.
i fear the life
that sustains on monthly wages
running for monthly grocery,
medical checks and other bills.
i fear living a life
without a life at all.
i fear living the life
without existential crisis-
without even thinking
what my life means or lacks.
i fear living unaware of doing so.

i don't want to be a child anymore
but i don't want to be an adult already.
i want a childlike maturity
that drags me out of this phoney crowd.
i want to live no ordinary.
i, in essence, want to live
without fearing living an ordinary life
of ordinary people.