chapter twenty-three.

HE'S STRUGGLING RIGH NOW. Sobs echo in his mind like an empty tunnel, he couldn't silence it by blocking his ears because it's inside his head, rain pounds hard in the night not hard enough to scrub away the guilt smeared crimson on his palm he tried to save the lives he ended like it would erase the past. It did help, but not enough. Gasoline fills his guts, killing his insides slowly in the toxicity needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze.

'What have you done' He could hear Chris' spooked voice demanding, he can't face him or Derek he could've set ablaze the people he cares most about. He wouldn't mind getting beat to the pulp in an alleyway, Lord knows he deserves it. Arthur is supposed to be one of the good guys, the hunter could've helped him he probably dealt in situations like this -but that's the problem 'probably' there's a huge change he hadn't and screwed his whole family by telling the wrong people unintentionally. He lets the wind hug him in hopes that it would wash away the agonizing touch he left.

His mind toys with the ideas of the Nogitsune choosing Scott or Isaac to do what he had done, he should be grateful to have been picked. His job is to protect yet he failed Stiles, he couldn't save him. I mean, who doesn't notice your closet friend is possessed after watching many horror movies based on the idea? Honestly, bring a hero is one of the tiring shit he is facing why would the Gods thank him by breaking him down piece by piece.

Arthur chooses to bears it so they don't have to.

The blue eyed boy hadn't remarked his fists pounding on the door or he had stopped, his feet aches for walking all morning - the midnight sky took over, his suffering is nothing compared to what the people in the hospital are going through. The door flings and he catches his fist before he could hit her. The warmth of the home caresses his cheeks luring him inside, he steps back he deserves to be shivering in the cold rain. His house is next door yet he choose to come here.

"Arthur? You drove me insane these last three days, where have you -" Her anxious questions are cut off by the boy burying his face in his hands, low whimpers escaping his lips. Her lips pout astonished by him disappearing for three days and returning on the verge of a breakdown, she wonders what had happened? She doesn't time to ask him as her stomach sinks like an anchors at the sight of him hurt, her arms envelope him a tight hug his drenched clothes tinting hers but she doesn't care, fingers grazing his soaked hair. "It's alright... I've got you."

Coming back to life is in the top three hard shit right behind Biology, Deaton warned them but he didn't think it'd be like this. All those stories he read as a child about superheroes achieving their happy endings, well where's his? Hadn't he suffered enough for saving someone's life. This is what he missed in the dark tunnel, her affectionate arms are like a safe place to him blocking the toxicity in his mind even for a few minutes.

* * *

THE SCORCHING BATHTUB WATER brought him a coziness no words could compare too but it doesn't erase his sins behind his eyelids. Lydia thought it'd be best to find him a shower, removing all dirt and blood from the last three days and let him relax in a herbal scented bath, her fingers brush through his wet hair keeping him company because he didn't want to be alone again. Arthur is floating on a cloud when he shouldn't be in a time like this.

"You deserve so much better, you are a beautiful being." Lydia whispers eyes tinted with heartache at the bruise he optioned trying to protect her from the Oni.

His blue eyes glances to her green eyes, this is real and he's safe but does he deserve better? A sigh leaves his lips raising his knuckles he had forgotten about the purple bruise. "Not after what I done." He shakes his head, "Why is being the good guy so hard?"

"I honestly don't know." She answers softly. "But you will survive this because you were built for it."

"But I've done something bad, something really bad and I don't think," He sniffs as tears begin to corner his eyes again. "- I can come back from it."

"Hey, hey, it'll be alright -"

"Nothing is alright, Lydia!" Arthur quaked, sifting straighter water droplets slides down his bare chest glancing to her. "You can't say that, you don't know what I've done."

Lydia moves so she's across him, retorting, "Then tell me, Arthur. You know me, you know I won't judge."

The lightness of her green eyes reminds him of summertime, the color of the forest after it rains. A color tadpoles makes rippling in the pound, her eyes bring hope no matter what has happened. "You have pretty eyes." He likes the way she looks at him, it makes him feel warm and he doesn't want that to change. A rare blush tings her cheeks blinking. "And I don't want those pretty eyes to stare at me differently because I might've been the bad guy this entire time."

Her astonishment was clear in her expression, she swallow thickly glimpsing to his knuckles assuming the worst. "Arthur, what happened to your knuckles? What did he do to you?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle." He answers vividly, eyes tilting to the ceiling lean back against the tub. "Don't worry about it."

"I can't help it." She whispers, circling her arms on his shoulders her cheek becoming wet from his hair. "You've strong for so long, it's okay to take a break and let yourself breath."

His lips twitch he knew he came here for a reason : before Lydia had admitted she likes him back, she was - is his best friend, the one he'd message at four am when he couldn't sleep because of how stressed he was, who helped him with his crushes and cheered his name the loudest on the sidelines during Lacrosse. Lydia has been there for him like he had when Jackson insulted her, he walked around the rest of the week with a busted lip and Arthur got detention the same week ( totally worth it 'cause it made her smile every time she saw him ). It doesn't make sense but he misses her, a lot.

She is evolving like a butterfly and he's honored to watch.

"You never cease to amaze me, Lydia Martin." Arthur chirps his head becoming dizzy from starvation grazing her tender hands, he could fall asleep in her arms knowing she'd chase away his demons.

"Neither do you, Arthur Robinson."

* * *

HE COULD'VE CAME HERE last night but he was an emotional wreck, he didn't want them to deal with it after the hell the Nogitsune put him through. They need him to pretend he's not falling apart, then he'll hold himself together for as long as they've dealt with the headache. He welcomes the smell of spices he didn't know he missed, he wants to sleep in his own bed surrounded by the walls of his room, watch television in his sitting room and snack in the middle of night without fear of getting attacked because even villains sleep at night ( he hopes ).

Footsteps slap the upstairs hallway stopping st the stairs, his mother's voice following. "Josie, is that yo - Arthur?"

"I brought pie." A small grin twitches on his lips in hopes of avoiding her cry because it'd make him want to cry too, unlike him his mother can be emotional.

The woman ambles down the stairs skipping the last two and launches herself into his arms, holding him tight like he'd slip out of her grasp as a ghost. "You're really here and your safe and you're here." She marveled, church bell laughter leaving her lips, it was hard for him not to join.

"I'm here, mam." He smooths kissing her side temple and taps her shoulderblade lightly. "And I'm not going anywhere for awhile."

"God, Ive missed you." She whispers, palms squishing his cheeks. "Have you eaten?" He has no time to answer as she drags him into the kitchen with a bounce in her step, swiping the pie inside the plastic bag and places it in the microwave. "Stilinski told me Stiles is possessed like Annabelle possessed and took you with him somewhere, are you alright? You look like you haven't been sleeping."

"I'm fine." He lies. He spent last night in Lydia's home unable to fall asleep, he walked past the hospital three times unable to bring himself to go inside, whenever he tried his guilt glued to him to the ground forbidding him from entering. "Everything has been crazy -" he stands up to get a fork when the microwave beeps.

"No, sit there and let me get it for you." She demands, her index forcing his body back on the chair. She places the pie in the middle and slices it, the strawberry smell flooting in the air making his stomach grumble.

The door clicks open and closes. His stomach flutters a smile dominating his lips, hearing her drop her bag on the ground like she always does and he trips over it when he comes home later. His mother has her hands cupped around her lips as he goes to hide behind the door. "I'm home, any news about Arthur?" She sniffs the air. "Ew, is that strawberry pie?"

He spots her feet inside first and clothes the door, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifts her into the air spinning her around, she's safe. He feels bad for feeling delighted, what he done wasn't for no reason. "Don't talk about my pie like that, Jo."

Yelps bypass her lips when her feet leaves the floor swirling into giggles, he puts her down and she spins around pummeling his chest then yanks down to her height for a well needed hug, she chimes. "You prick, where have you been? I couldn't sleep with you missing!"

"I can't tell if you're happy or annoyed." He humors smiling, pulling back the tightness in chest fading. "But no stress, big brother is back."

"Come on, I wanna watch my children eat and smile together for first time in awhile." He's constantly putting his happiness in the hands other forgetting they could drop it.

* * *

"MAN, YOU LOOK DEAD."

The Biology book slams closed grateful for a distraction, it was either that or sit in silence letting his mind torment him. Glancing behind him, he scoffs. "It happens, you know when a starving Japanese spirit drains you mentally and psychologically." Sarcasm drips from his tone to hide his uncomfortable he felt. "And I was told I'd look pretty in death, so screw you, Isaac."

"I'm pretty sure you've long past being able to leave a pretty corpse." Isaac counters, bouncing on his bed and picks up an unsolved Rubik's Cube from the floor.

He rolls his eyes. "Thanks." It's nice to be around someone who can insult him without a care, if he's going to keep himself together for these few days then they need to not treat him like a Chine piece.

"Hey, I'm sorry I - we couldn't find you." The beta apologizes, staring down at the blue covers.

"It's fine." He shrugs. Arthur knows they try their best to find them like they had done when Stiles sleepwalked into the woods, neither could've guessed that's where he'd take him.

"No, it's not." Isaac shakes his head dropping his legs on his side, discouraged blue eyes meeting his. "I wanted to be the one to find you like you've done for me."

"If I can still breathe, I'm fine." Arthur reassures, forcing a smile on his lips to lighten the burden on his shoulders.

Isaac presses his lips together, his leg bouncing next Arthur and comments. "Your heartbeat didn't jump."

"Yeah, it happens when believe what you're saying." He chuckles breathlessly tapping his black on his desk.

"You try to save everybody but who saves you?" Isaac inquiries, shrugging at Arthur confused expression. "I read it somewhere."

If he was wearing glasses it would've flung off, a startling question that reminds him of himself but the difference, he doesn't need saving. Arthur huffs collecting himself once again, "Is this your way of asking, to be my Knight in Shining armor?"

The beta scoffs letting a smile glide on his lips, "I have better things to look do than take care of you."

"We both know I'd be the other way 'round." Arthur counters rolling his eyes. "Oh, I heard you get electrocuted."

"Yeah." He nods, glancing down at his hands. "I don't want to do again."

His head tilts unable to stop a smile blossoming on his lips, What?" He didn't know what was funny about it but needed a laugh, something to lift the heaviness off his chest. This is him keeping himself together, he just doesn't know how long it'll last. Arthur's laughter is sliced by another body entering through his window knocking the air out of his lung, he knew he couldn't avoid him long but hoped it would've been later. "Derek."

The werewolf hesitates glancing at the ceiling astonished he was actually going to ask him this, his chest heaves and demands, disbelief in his voice, "Did you actually do it?"

Arthur could see the whirls if emotion in his eyes making his thrust close up forgetting about Isaac. He pleads, "I had too, he threatened my family what was I supposed to do?"

"Come to me." Derek said slowly like it was the easiest thing to do, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. "You could've asked us for help."

"Eh, what's going on?" Isaac inquires, stepping besides the boys.

Arthur presses his fists against his temple, lips pressing tight he hisses. "It wasn't easy, I wanted too, really but my mom and sister were on the line. You would've done the same thing."

"No, I wouldn't." Derek denies, staring down at him disappointment swirling in his eyes killing Arthur worse than any weapon could do. "You could've killed a lot of people, I thought we trusted each other."

The venom in his voice is enough to make him avert his eyes, but he couldn't let him walk out without an explanation. "Are we breaking up?" He tries to lighten the situation holding the man's elbow reviving the famous Hale glare. "Right, because you Hales are perfect and don't make fucking mistakes! Screw you, Derek, the choice I made with haunt me I don't need the extra baggage of your disappointment!"