(Dedicated to you, Andy. Happy early Birthday present!!)

***Sexual content warning***

The Rubens – I'll Surely Die

>>>Disclaimer: I do not own the first quoted/highlighted section of this chapter in any way. All rights go to the author of the 'Sookie Stackhouse' series.<<<

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'He leaned against me like a tired child. By now, a human guy would have made a huge effort to pull himself together. He'd be embarrassed to show vulnerability. Dermot seemed quite willing to let me comfort him.

"Are you feeling better now?"

He inhaled deeply. I knew he was drawing in my--'

"Amy!"

She sighed heavily, closing her worn out copy of one of the Sookie Stackhouse novels. "What?"

"Your boyfriend is here! I'm going to meet a few friends at the bar!"

"Okay, send him-!"

The boyfriend in question knocked on her door and entered with a wonderful smile on his face. Her stomach fluttered, a feeling she'd been trying to cage since her talk with Katherine last Wednesday. John stepped further into the room, shutting the door behind him. He sported a pair of worn jeans and a plain black t-shirt tonight so she assumed he wasn't staying.

"Hello Amy."

She didn't know what came over her but she threw her book across the room, gaining a confused look from him. "What-?"

"Nothing." She reassured but he walked across the room to find the book. "Leave it, John."

"Was it a steamy novel, Butler?"

"No, you prude."

He picked up the book and grimaced. "Oh. It's this."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes as she stood up and took it from his hands. "Why are you so against this novel?"

"Because it's stupid."

"You're stupid."

A smile spread across his lips and he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her against him. "What a childish comeback."

"The truth hurts though doesn't it?" Her head tilted to the side and he shook his head.

"Well, aren't you slightly feisty tonight?"

"Only with you."

"Mmm..." He pressed a sweet kiss to her lips before letting her go and collapsing onto her bed. "What song is this?"

"The Rubens, I'll Surely Die."

"Sounds good." He mumbled rubbing a hand over his eyes, still gripping onto her book. 

"Give it back to me."

"No, I want to see it. Come here while I read a few pages?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. 

"Come on, lie with me?"

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she grabbed the iDoc remote and lay beside him. He grabbed her legs and rested them across his as he opened the pages. "There are more than nine books?"

"Yes."

"Is this the first book?"

"No."

"Can I read the first?"

Once again she sighed and leaned over to her draw to take out the first one. "Three pages."

"Oh, but what if I like it?" He pouted resting his arm beneath her head. 

"Then you buy your own damn copy." 

He chuckled opening the book above his head to read. For a while she allowed herself to relax into his arms and listen to the music. Despite saying three pages, she lost count on how many he read but it seemed he really was interested. She watched him as he read. The interest plain on his face and yet an odd sense of confusion like he couldn't understand what he was reading. 

As he turned the page she said, "Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes, Sookie is going outside with a chain to confront some couple she named, 'The Rats'. And this vampire, he seems... Interesting. And everyone knows about them?"

"Mhm."

"Can I read a few more pages?" He asked her obviously intrigued.

"Of course."

He continued to read and she continued to watch. Oddly enough, after a few minutes, his eyes started to darken. It was different, almost unbelievable. The pupils of his eyes expanded to an extent she hadn't seen before. 

"Are you okay?"

He shut his eyes and chuckled huskily. "I'm great."

"What bit were you on?"

"Bill was offering her his blood."

"Oh! Okay. Are you done?"

He handed her the book without much of a fight and she raised a brow at his sudden oddness. She placed the book back in her draw with the other one before leaning into his side. "Did you like the book?"

"Can I borrow it?" He surprised her by saying.

"So after continuously making fun of it, you want to borrow it? Hypocrite."

"I've changed my mind,"

"Sure." She laughed.

"Your cousin gave me the Canucks tickets for next Friday." He commented, changing the subject. "Four in fact. The extra two he said were for Mike and Evie."

"Oh, yeah. I didn't realise there were more tickets. Okay."

"After the game you can come over for dinner seeming that we didn't get to have our dinner date?"

"Of course. After the game? I won't exactly be dressed to the nines."

"A casual dinner then?"

"Okay sure. I'm looking forward to it." Actually she was inwardly crapping herself.

"And so am I," He poked her side and she flinched. "Ticklish are we? Why have I not noticed this before."

"Because you've never taken the time to notice, you big idiot."

"You're insults will come back to you." Once again he poked her side and this time she let out a small giggle. "You should make that sound more often."

"What soun-?" He poked her stomach repeatedly and her hysterical giggling caused her to lose her breath and snort unattractively. A blush rose to her cheeks and she covered her mouth and rolled onto her stomach away from him. "John..."

He was laughing beside her but she didn't have the willpower to look up at him. 

"Don't tickle me, I snort so much."

"Really?" He said in her ear and before she could even attempt to roll over or run away he grabbed her hips and started his endless torture. His hands moved over her waist and hips as he tickled the life out of her, Amy's eyes streaming with tears and the breath escaping her lungs as she laughed and laughed.

She tried to grab his hands but he held hers above her head as fingers moved along her stomach.

"Ah!"

"Almost had my fill..."

She snorted again.

"And..."

Again, she snorted.

"Done." 

Asshole. As she came to, her breathing still erratic and her eyes still streaming with tears she looked up and realised he was hovering over her between her legs. 

"I'll... get you back." She panted wriggling her hands beneath his to free them.

"How? I'm not ticklish." His hand tightened over hers.

"I'm sure I'll think of something." She mumbled highly aware of their position and the way his hazel eyes sparked lust. 

He searched her face for what seemed like forever, his eyes darkening, not the same way when he was reading the book but in a... hungry way.

"What are you thinking?" She mused aloud. 

He made an attractive humming noise that soared right through her to the pit of her stomach and up to the tips of her fingers. "I'm thinking about you."

"Would you like to elaborate?"

That slow flirtatious smile of his spread across his face as he lowered himself onto her. "I don't think you'd be too impressed with the way my thoughts are headed, Amy."

A flush of heat tingled across her cheeks not due to embarrassment but more so awareness and desire. "Details, John."

"You want details?"

"I need something to go on, don't I?"

"Hm... Okay." He released her hands and placed his either side of her head. "Details... Without crossing any lines and embarrassing myself?"

She narrowed her eyes and slowly nodded not completely understanding. 

"I feel like a kid in a candy store." He mumbled now looking at all of her. She wasn't wearing much except a pair of pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that didn't leave much to the imagination as she wasn't wearing a bra and she was aroused as hell. 

"First off," He said without taking his eyes off her chest. "I'd like to clarify my desire for you hasn't weakened in the slightest, do you understand?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded.

"Mm... I was thinking of how long I'd waited to kiss you. Then I started to think about how I've waited to have you. And right now all I want to do is take you like a sailor on leave."

Her heart jack hammered against her chest as he slid a hand underneath her t-shirt along her ribcage. "Do you want me to, Ames?"

Inside, her body was throbbing with a need she hadn't ever experienced before. It was horribly strong and it almost hurt to think about it. 

"Or," His warm palm cupped her breast and she inhaled sharply. "Do you want me to give you pleasure?"

It would be selfish to say yes, plus she wanted him more than ever. But before she could even comprehend or begin to gather her wits to answer, he rubbed the pad of his thumb across her nipple and a small whimper passed through her lips as the feeling travelled straight between her legs.

"I think I'll pleasure you. I may enjoy myself more by watching you."

His mouth covered hers and he thrust his tongue into her mouth as he massaged her breast and lowered his pelvis onto hers.

She didn't think she could handle the amount of pleasure coming left, right and centre from his mouth, hand and the way he was torturously rocking himself against her. His teeth pulled at her bottom lip and she gripped onto his shoulders for dear life. 

When she felt her insides quivering and building to that familiar high, it was like he knew, he stopped kissing her and moved to her throat. His lips fanned over where her pulse was speeding at an embarrassing rate.

"You taste delicious, has anyone said that to you before?"

She tried to shake her head but with the way her head was angled and the way his tongue was licking and kissing across her neck, she couldn't.

"Has anyone paid this much attention to you before?"

"No..." She barely whispered.

His hand lifted her t-shirt up to skim his finger tips along her stomach. He moved from his kisses to watch his own hand before dipping his mouth to place a sweet kiss beside her belly button.

"Do you want me, Amy?"

Why did he insist on reassurance? Was her submission not enough? Was this, the way she willingly let him kiss along her stomach and touch her, not enough? "Yes," she reassured curling her toes in anticipation when he lifted her t-shirt to reveal her entire naked torso.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her breast and then covered her with his mouth. His tongue rolled and circled repeatedly over her erect nipple. She moaned his name, feeling like she was standing on the edge of a cliff just about ready to jump off into a haze of oblivion.

She didn't even realise what he was doing with his other hand until his fingers moved over the thin material of her underwear slowly, evilly, causing a feral unfamiliar sound to escape both of their lips.

"God, I should have just made love to you." He growled taking her mouth once again but she barely even registered his words as her body started to shake and her insides started to slowly clench. 

Almost... My, god...

The pleasure, Amy couldn't fathom. He was barely skimming his fingers against her and she was writhing for him. He would add pressure and she would groan or beg him for release. He was bringing her to the top and letting her float back down over and over again. Cruel, cruel torture... But she loved every second.

"Please..." Her voice shook as she opened her heavy lids to give him a serious stare. "John..." 

He was watching her. Like it was his very own private show. A very serene looking smile crossed his swollen lips as he slowly slid a finger over her bundle of nerves and then inside of her. And just like that, the fire that was building moments ago soared outward throughout her body; her climax welcomed with open arms, her small shout of release swallowed by his mouth as he kissed her roughly.

She gripped onto his shoulders harder, her head thrown back against her sheets exposing her neck and breaking the kiss for a mere moment.

Slowly, she came back to earth. His mouth moving from hers to move across her jugular and staying there. Her breathing calming but her heart was still beating a mile a minute. His scent, that intoxicating scent, floated around her and for a moment she felt completely... high. Her thoughts clouding, her body tingling, she was almost completely numb. The glow of her climax better than she thought.

He was still kissing her throat when she mumbled a stupid, "Thanks"

John paused and breathed out a chuckle. "No need to thank me, Amy."

"Hmm..." She sighed not being able to control the odd feeling of drowsiness. "Stay."

"I will, I promise." She was aware of him fixing her clothes but she was already going. However, she did hear him murmur a small curse. What for? She'd have to find out tomorrow.

**

Her face, that beautiful face, looked so calm, so happy. Her lips slightly parted, her breathing even, her heart beat almost like music to his ears...

But then he grimaced at the deep red, almost purple love bite at the jugular of her throat.

Stupid. So, so stupid.

She was going to feel that in morning. John knew for a fact she wasn't aware or even rational when he'd done it. It wasn't on purpose, no. It was... in him to do it. Even with the lamp on it looked bad, what would it be like with the overhead light or under the sun? The blood was right to the surface and he knew he was doing it earlier. If he didn't stop...?

He shook his head not willing to think about what would have happened if she didn't speak earlier that night. It was almost three-thirty in the morning, her cousin had quietly knocked at around midnight asking if he was staying the night.

"Is she asleep?"

John had creaked the door open only a little so only half of him was visible. "Yes. I'll leave now-"

"You can stay. Just no funny business."

Thank God he wasn't there earlier.

Giving her pleasure was... The best experience. Ever. He wanted to give her multiple orgasms if he'd had the chance but with the way he was teasing her, one explosive one seemed enough. Seeing her so unembarrassed, it was different compared to shy Amy. She was open; almost like she was unaware she was letting herself go. Leaving himself unsatisfied had been the hardest thing ever but it was worth it. 

However he was disgusted at himself for what he did to her neck and he knew she was going to be angry, not pissed, but fuming angry.

He threw his arm over his eyes and quietly groaned. She was literally going to rip him a new one.

John jumped slightly at the vibration in his pocket. He frowned to himself, confused. Who would be calling now?

Glaring at the screen as he slipped out of Amy's embrace, he walked into the bathroom and answered, "What?"

"Busy?"

"As I usually am."

"Meet me please, we have... Things to talk about."

Judging by his British friend's excited tone, something was up. He narrowed his eyes into the darkness. "What's wrong...?"

"Nothing. Just meet me by Barnet?" Pam said.

And just like that he knew. "Kate?"

"Oh, Katherine did call me about four hours ago. Come on, chop, chop and I'll explain, honey."

He hung up and stepped back into her bedroom. After putting his shoes on, he moved to the window and opened it thankful for tonight's bitter, still air. He stepped out onto the ledge and shut it leaving a sliver open for when he returned and threw himself onto the damp ground. 

Running always made him think and now was the worse time. 

She really is going to kill me.

Pamela waited for him in the dark night sitting on the log where they usually met deep within Barnet forest. 

"Hello, darling." 

"What is it, Pamela?" He sat beside her. "I can't stay long, I promised Amy-"

"I know. Katherine has alerted me of your promises. Poor girl, having to watch your little sexual-"

"Dammit!" He groaned. "Kate needs to learn to keep her nose out of others business."

"She can't help that, can she?" His oldest friend sighed before facing him, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. "Now I'm here to talk about you and that girl you're in love with. Don't deny it, I see you love her whether you admit it to yourself or not. But according to Katherine? You still haven't told her anything. She may know you're family are dead but she knows absolutely nothing about why or how. Talk to me."

Most of what she said went in through one ear and out the other because he heard one word.

Love.

Without a doubt in his mind, he'd been falling in love with her since he first heard her laugh. First saw her smile. First saw her blush. First touched her. He felt guilty for loving her. He hadn't felt this strongly before, not even with...

With-

"...Arabella?"

John's heart clenched and he sighed sharply. "Amy is not the same as her."

Pamela laughed, patting his leg. "Jonathan I knew Arabella. Amy and she are nothing alike. That's why I'm so happy."

"Happy?" 

"I'm happy because you've moved on. After we left, you binged on women. I was afraid for you. Then you sobered and you met Michael and he preoccupied you. You were both so screwed up."

Oh, he loved it when Pamela was blunt. 

"Amy's helped you more than Mike, Anastasia and I could have ever. You're sleeping better, you're playing again... Have you played for her yet?"

He'd planned on doing it at dinner next week. Before all of this talking he'd already planned on sitting her next to him and playing until she told him to stop.

A loving smile spread across her face when he didn't respond. "You really do love her, don't you?"

Until now he'd been fighting it. And now... What's the use?

"I do." He finally admitted. "I love her."

Relieved, she sighed and leaned against his arm. "Four months you've known the girl and it took you this long to admit it? Bloody hell, Mike won the bet."

"For god sake, why do all of you bet on us?"

"Because you're both so stupid that's why. Look how slow you were to confess that to me. How long will it take you to tell her?"

"It wouldn't matter. She won't love me once she knows."

"Then find out if she loves you before you say anything. That girl is smitten, I promise you."

He still doubted she'd want to stick around after he tells her.

"Look. Have you got a plan?"

"Sort of, yes." He sighed.

"Then you do it! What's the plan?"

"I'm not telling you that."

Pam frowned. "But-"

"I have to go back now." He stood and she followed. 

"No, you don't. You're feeding. Now."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm okay."

"Not according to Kate."

"Kate knows nothing." 

"Kate knows everything."

"Fine okay."

After an hour and a half of trying to satisfy his thirst, barely, he followed Pam out of the trees and onto the road. "You're going to tell her everything?"

"Not at once, I'm not trying to give the woman a heart attack." He snorted.

"What will you start with?"

"Arabella and my family."

Pamela's surprise registered on her face as she slowed her walk. "You're going to tell her about Arabella?"

"I said I'd tell her everything. So I will."

"Alright, John."

"I'm just worried."

"It's okay to be worried."

"Not about that..." He grabbed Pam's arm and sent her a panicked frown. "I gave her a monster of a love bite; she's going to murder me."

Pamela burst out laughing. "We best hope she doesn't or you'll never know if the girl loves you or not."

__________________

 TA-DA. 

John loovveeesssssss her!

But does SHE love HIM? Ooooo! All up to her. I HAVE EACH AND EVERY CHAPTER PLANNED AND WRITTEN DOWN SO I'LL TELL YOU NOW:

29-30 chapters at the most and an epilogue!