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The familiar sound of feet pitter-pattering along the wooden floor didn't surprise him at all. He knew Joanna got tired around this time. Turning around on the couch, he smiled at the 6 year old girl who rubbed her light blue eyes.

"Daddy, I'm tired..." Joanna whined, brushing the light brown strands out of her face. The man nodded, pushing himself off the couch and scooping up his child. Once they got into her bedroom, he tucked her in, pulling the purple bedsheets up to her chin.

"Can you tell me more stories?" Joanna pleaded, eyes eager with adventure. Her father always had stories of the early says in the outbreak.

He chuckled. "Jeanie, I barely have any stories left to tell you." The nickname always made Joanna smile.

"What about the people you met, there has to be more! What happened after you found the prison?" She pestered, almost shaking in anticipation to hear more about her father's crazy adventures fighting the monsters.

Glancing downwards, he took a moment to think. He knew of something. Someone. A pang of sadness seeped into his chest, but he brushed it away, ready to tell her about somebody special. Carl Grimes wasn't done with his stories just yet.

A remorseful smile played at his lips. "There was this one time as the prison that we found this girl...well, grandpa Rick did." He paused for a moment, recollecting at the memory. "Her name was Lauren."

"Lauren what?"

Carl bit his lip. "Lauren Jean Martin."

Joanna laughed. "She has my name!" Carl nodded, remembering wanting to name his child after somebody that he cared about. Joanna was the closest he could get, and the nickname Jeanie was always a way to remember his once loved one.

"And she..." Carl didn't want to continue, but her words replayed in his mind; sometimes he forgot what her voice sounded like. Have a happy life, for me. And that's what he was doing. For her. "She was...irreplaceable. She was strong, smart, but she wasn't happy. Some really bad things had happened to her, and...I helped her get happy again. She was...my best friend. And one day she passed away." Carl's breath caught in his throat, having to swallow to regain his ability to speak.

No matter how long it had been there were times that he thought of her and it suddenly got harder to breathe.

"Did you love her, like mommy?" Joanna questioned, Carl's eyes furrowing at the thought of his 6 year old daughter even comprehending what love was.

Carl nodded. "Yeah. I did." I do, he thought. But he couldn't bring himself to say that out loud.

"Did you go on adventures with her?"

A chuckle escaped the man's lips. "Lots of them."

Joanna's eyes began to flutter shut, letting Carl know that it was time to leave. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips softly to her forehead.

"Sleep well, Jeanie," he whispered, turning her lamp off and exiting the room.

Rubbing his hands over his face, the thought of Lauren still crept in his mind. There were days where he forgot she existed, and there were days where he couldn't get her out of his mind. But the memory of her still stayed with him each time he looked at his necklace, her necklace, that strung around his neck. He never took it off, and never intended to.

Maybe it was time. Maybe it was time to dig up one of the last memories of her. He could barely remember the night his father came to him, a few weeks after her death. He walked into his bedroom with a letter in his hands.

"Carl, Lauren...Lauren gave me this awhile ago, and told me that if...if she ever..." Rick trailed off, watching his son turn to him with tired eyes. "That I should give you this."

A letter was presented in front of him in an envelope, the words To Carl written on the back in messy writing. But Carl wanted nothing to do with the memory of her. He didn't want to ever hear her name again because once he did the empty pit in his stomach grew even more. So he left the letter on his bedside table, never to be opened until this faithful night.

Carl crept into his bedroom, opened the closet and rummaged around the top shelf, finding that exact letter. It was untouched, but the writing on the back had faded slightly. It had been many years since he had even looked ay this letter. To Carl, it read, making the man breathe in and out heavily.

Carl walked back into the kitchen, sat himself down at the dining room table and opened it. He had hesitated slightly, but the letter was like an itch at the back of his mind. He wanted--needed--to find closure. He needed to know what she said. Carl's lip quivered as he began reading the letter.

To Carl,

Hi. I hope you aren't reading this. Because if you are, I'm dead. I'm giving this to Rick in case something happens to me, and I don't get to tell you everything that I want to say. You got shot a few days ago, and you won't even talk to me. I hope if you're reading this you know that you've pulled the stick out of your ass and talked to me.

Anyway, I just wanna know, what's happening? Are we...married yet? I hope. Do we have kids? How many? I hope you didn't make me name them something stupid. I hope you're doing well. I miss you. Do you miss me? How long has it been since I...ya know.

Don't answer that. 'Cause I'm too dead to hear. That was a bad joke, sorry, but I don't have an eraser.

I hope I die when we're 80 and living in an old Alexandria. Because I can't imagine living the rest of my life with somebody else.

But I didn't write this letter to ask you a bunch of questions I'm not gonna know the answer to till we're older. I wrote this because I wanted you to know what I really feel. 'Cause if I die without telling you everything, I might feel guilty.

I love you, you idiot. So. Fucking. Much. I love you! Yeah! I do! And I think you do too. I'm just rambling now, but...remember the prison, and how I was so far gone, and...a down right monster. I'd gone through shit, and I didn't ask for anybody's help. But you helped anyway. You made me the person I am today, so...I'd like to tell you, thank you. Thank you for making me so happy to wake up in the morning, and not feel lonely. I put a gun to my head once, because I had no one left to love. No one that loved me. But now I have a family, because of you. Because you broke down my stupid walls and made me care. Even when my temper got the best of me, you didn't stop. So thank you. Thank you for making this life bearable. I now know I want to live the rest of my life with somebody who completes me, and even if that's the cheesiest shit you'll ever hear, it's the truth. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Don't ever change. Don't ever change from the selfless person you are. Because you are too fucking amazing to be in this hell. I hope our kids grow up to be as strong as you. I hope our kids never have to go through what I had to.

On that note, I'd like to end this off with one more thing. What a fucking privilege it was to matter to you. And I love you, you stupid idiot. I haven't even said that enough.

Love, Lauren.

Carl couldn't remember when the tears had started flowing, but they stained his cheeks nonetheless. Reading that letter helped, but the sick feeling in his stomach didn't. He was supposed to marry her. He was supposed to have kids with her. It was so wrong, but now he had a new family, and maybe it was for the better.

"Carl? Are you coming to bed?" A new voice cooed behind him, turning to see a woman leaning against the bedroom door. Turning back towards the letter, he quickly wiped away the tears.

Carl nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you in 5 minutes honey," he mustered out, trying to hide the fact that he had been crying. She seemed to not notice as he heard her walk back into the bedroom.

Sighing, he put the letter back into the envelope, placed it back in the closet, and went to bed knowing that she told him everything she needed to to be content. He felt good knowing that she would live on forever in his mind.

He was finally okay.

__________

a/n: i guess i have some explaining to do. this is the end of bloodsport! omg ive had this whole plot in my head for so long and it feels bitter sweet to have it written for the world to see. thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who took time out of their day to read, vote or comment on this book.

thank you for your support on lauren and carl's journey, without you guys i might not even have finished this book. all books have to end someday, and i think it was time to say goodbye to the amazing warrior princess that was lauren jean martin. #riplaurenmartin

here's a book related to bloodsport you should check out:

thank you so much guys!!