CHAPTER 27 | DROWNING

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   The streets were flooded with walkers, and there was nothing they could do. The only thing on Lauren's mind was their safety as she stared out of the window of a home. Rick, Michonne, Jessie, her kids, Deanna, Gabriel, Judith, Carl and Lauren had resided in that place. The cement roads were cluttered with the deceased; it was their town now. She had so much hope for a future here, was it still possible? And was her mother safe?

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard commotion downstairs. Heading towards the sound she noticed loud banging and movement from behind a door; it was locked. Lauren knew only two people were not in this house who had to be in that room.

Lauren thumped against the door, getting harsher each time. Her heart began to race at the thought of what was going down in that room.

"Carl? Open the damn door! Carl!" She screamed, pounding her fists onto the wood. She heard Rick come from behind, pushing her out of the way to try and bust the lock off the door. The sound of walkers and shattered metal echoed through the walls, making Lauren's stomach twist in fear. Rick finally busted the knob and lock off the door revealing Ron on the floor and Carl trying to prevent walkers from getting in. The room seemed to be a garage.

"Come on!" Rick shouted as Ron made his way back inside, Carl following. Rick swiftly shut the door once they got inside as Lauren and the others began holding it down against the walkers. Rick had brought over a couch to lean against the door, making sure those walkers could not bust through.

"We need more, and we need to be quiet," Rick ordered as they still pushed against the couch.

"I'll see what I can find," Michonne responded, sprinting upstairs.

Rick was to Lauren's left, but to her right was Carl; she wanted answers. "What happened in there?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"We were looking for tools and knocked over a shelf," he responded quickly. Lauren's eyebrows furrowed.

"We heard yelling," Jessie added on.

"Yeah, Ron saw them break through the gates. We had to move, that's what happened." Carl persisted. Lauren was skeptical of his answer, but that matter was to be pushed aside for now.

Ron said something about getting a nightstand from upstairs, but Lauren was too deep in her thoughts to listen. Even Jessie commented on how it sounded like they were fighting.

"Carl, it's okay?" Lauren asked, wanting a truthful answer as her boyfriend began walking up the stairs.

He turned, hesitantly glancing at the floor. "It's okay." He continued his way upstairs.

Bullshit.

Time went on. Maybe an hour had passed. Deanna had been bit, and was dying. Lauren felt bad about it, even if she didn't know her well. Something about her knowing her so well in that interview made Lauren feel safer in this place. Alexandria wouldn't be the same without her. As more minutes passed, more furniture had to be placed against doors; they were running out of furniture.

"Everyone get upstairs now!" Michonne suddenly shouted, Lauren turning to see the walkers getting through one of their barricades.

"The couch, let's block the stairs," Rick ordered as him and Michonne pulled the couch against the stairwell, blocking any possible passage for
the walkers.

The two adults had killed 2 walkers for a certain purpose; they were gonna use their guts. Lauren's stomach churned slightly at the idea, but nowadays she was so used to the stench she knew it wouldn't bother her. Everyone draped their body in bedsheets, then went into the open belly of the walker, coating themselves in the substance.

"Need help?" Lauren asked Carl, seeing as she was finished already. Her voice was low and cautious, seeing as she didn't know where they stood at the moment. Their argument was interrupted pretty abruptly a few hours ago, but she hoped he had pushed that aside.

"No, I'm good," he mumbled, finishing off his backside. Biting her lip, she nodded in understanding. She almost felt awkward, like she wanted to apologize for the things she said but the words wouldn't come off her tongue.

When everybody was finished, hand in hand they went downstairs, wading through the walkers. Lauren felt like she was drowning in a vast ocean of monsters, disguised as one of them. It almost felt hard to breathe, knowing how close she was to the creatures.

She used to be close to them when she lost her humanity. She was one of them.

Both hands were holding onto Carl and Jessie as they made their way onto the porch. The group finally had a chance to survey the damage, see how many there were.

It was like an army of undead.

Slowly, they each stepped off the porch and into the streets. All they had to do was survive, just like she always has. But maybe this wasn't like every other day. They were one step away from being noticed as human, someone could mess up horribly. A deep pit of fear and anxiety sat in the depths of her body. Sometimes she studied the walker's features, making sure she wouldn't find her mother's face on one of the creatures.

They were able to have a moment on the side of the road away from any walkers to talk. Rick wanted to get vehicles and get out of here and come back, hoping they would have passed by then. Everyone seemed to agree. Gabriel planned on taking Judith to the church to keep her safe instead of bringing her.

Night had fallen, and her group was wading through the streets, trying to avoid getting caught by the walkers. But something had already gone wrong. Sam, Jessie's other son,
had stopped walking. He was terrified of the monsters that roamed their town.

"Sam? Sam? Come on, sweetheart," Jessie pleaded, by Sam didn't move. Jessie and Rick began repeating those phrases over and over again, but the boy was in shock.

Sam screamed. He had been noticed, and a walker bit into his neck. Then another, and another. Lauren's eyes widened, watching the scene unfold. This was bad news. Now Jessie was screaming. Lauren tugged on her hand, hoping she would let go of her now dead son.

"Jessie, we have to go," Lauren pleaded, tugging on her arm. Everything was a blur around her as she watched the woman get attacked. She was noticed.

Everything was going downhill.

Lauren's heart raced as her was still grabbed by the almost dead Jessie, but she wouldn't let go. Lauren tugged as hard as she could, and she finally let go. But when she did, she noticed her dagger was gone. Panic set in her, knowing that she was no good without a weapon. Slowly, she took one last glance at Carl before dropping his hand and going into the sea of walkers to see where it was dropped. Not much time passed before she found it laying on the ground, letting out a small sigh of relief as she bent down, putting it back in her holster.

She turned around to see a horrible sight. Ron had aimed his gun towards Carl. Her blood ran cold, watching his finger linger on the trigger. She was too far away to do anything-

Bang. The sound of Ron's gun went off, Michonne's katana piercing through him. Lauren's body froze, standing paralyzed in the crowd of monsters, watching the scene in front of her end. But it hadn't ended.

Carl turned to face his father and Lauren. No. No. No. This wasn't real. It felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her. His face was red. Something was gone. He was bloody. It wasn't real. She had to keep telling herself that. But the screams escaping her raw throat told her otherwise. She was finally drowning, feeling her knees go weak and falling numbly onto the stone cold ground. Just like Carl did in front of her eyes.

Walkers began to notice, but she had to keep moving. All her energy had been sucked out of her, she didn't know if he was dead or alive, but she needed to run. Run. Run. She pushed away the now aware walkers, standing up with wobbly knees and tears blurring her vision. She followed the two hazy figures in front of her, dodging anything in her way. She ran. And ran. It felt like hours, but in reality it was minutes.

Rick seemed to be carrying Carl's body. His body. He was dead. No, he wasn't. She was having a battle with her own mind, telling her dark thoughts that there was hope. She felt sick. She wanted to throw up.

Lauren had lost track of time, noticing herself in a building with everyone.

Carl's body laid on a table in front of her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe. Her body was in total shock, the tears that once stung her eyes now dry, it was as if she wasn't sure how to react. What was happening, what had just happened? Carl's eye was gone. It was gone. She remembered for a second, then the urge the scream came back. Nothing surfaced from her throat.

Everything around her was silent, even as she witnessed people running around frantically trying to treat him. The only thing she could hear were her shuddering breaths.

She couldn't breathe.

She clenched her chest, trying not to look at his face; what was left of it. She moved. Her feet had a mind of their own, walking into an empty room. Lauren gasped for air desperately, but nothing was there. It was like all the oxygen in the world had been taken away, like her throat had been sealed.

Somebody came in front of her as she began to go in a state of panic.

"Breathe Lauren," they cooed, but each time she took in a breath it stopped short.

"I c-can't...breathe...p-panic...Carl..." she blurted out in between sobs and gasps for air. Saying his name made the hole in her heart dig deeper and deeper.

It mentally and physically felt like somebody had ripped her heart out of her chest when she saw the bullet wound in his face.

The figure was hazy, but she recognized the voice to be her mother's. "He's alive, you need to breathe. Breathe sweetie," she repeated, holding Lauren's body in her arms and rubbing circles on her back.

He was alive.

Minutes flew by, but time still felt slow in Lauren's eyes. Steady. Steady. Her breathing got to a normal pace, and the tears stopped coming from her deep green eyes.

She didn't know how long she had been in her mother's arms; minutes, hours. But the world seemed to catch up with her, noticing the commotion outside. Almost nobody was in the house, were they killing the walkers?

Lauren wanted to help, but her energy was long gone. All she could do was lay in her mother's arms, waiting for answers. Waiting to see how stable Carl was.

The scene replayed in her head, over and over again. Ron had the gun. He pulled it up. Wait, Ron had the gun she gave him, no bullets...he got his own bullets. If Lauren hadn't given him the gun, Carl wouldn't have been shot.

It's all my fault...It's all my fault...she thought to herself, feeling her eyes gloss over as guilt came over her body.

Lauren sat stone cold in her mother's hold. "Not again...not again..."

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[1955 WORDS]

a/n: wow that was hard to write. hope u liked this angsty chap!!! expected much more sad and angst.. :(