CHAPTER 14 | PARALYZED

TRIGGER WARNING:
MENTION OF SUICIDE
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  The creaking of the steps filled the room as Lauren made her way downstairs. It was the next morning, and Lauren had slept upstairs the night before; she felt she needed space for awhile.

Making her way into the living room she found Rick and Carl eating some food on the floor against the couch. Both turned to see her walk into the room, a small smile stretching across Carl's face.

"Want some?" Rick asked, handing her a bag of chips. Lauren nodded a thanks, sitting opposite of them against another couch on the floor. They sat for a few minutes in silence, eating their food, before a loud knock sounded at the door. All heads turned, Lauren dropping the bag and grabbing her gun, aiming it at the door. The two others grabbed their guns too, Rick looking through the peep hole on the door. He then fell on the couch in a fit of laughter. Both Carl and Lauren shared a confused look, wondering why he was happy.

"What is it?" Lauren whispered.

Rick glanced at the girl. "It's for you guys."

➸ ➸ ➸

Lauren was truly happy that Michonne was behind that door, she had hope that the group would slowly piece their way back together.

After breakfast Michonne wanted to go on a run, but Carl wanted to go with. Lauren expected to go with too, so she headed upstairs and grabbed her things. Placing some things into her backpack, she heard the door creak open and turned to see Carl walk in.

"Hey, what're you doing?" He asked, Lauren's eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I'm coming with," she explained before Carl shook his head.

"You should stay here, with my dad. We'll be fine," Carl stated, a frown playing on her face.

"Carl, I can come. I'm fine," she admitted. But it wasn't the real truth. What she really wanted was some more space and time, but she wanted to help as much as she could. Sadly, Carl saw right through her.

The boy raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure you're fine?" He questioned while walking closer to her. A sigh escaped her, as she shrugged her shoulders honestly.

"You should stay here, you need time," he explained as Lauren paused for a moment, looking downwards in thought. She decided to agree with him, nodding in response.

"Be safe," she whispered as she expected him to leave the room, but like the day before, he grabbed her hand lightly, brought it upwards and placed his lips on her knuckles. A small smile stretched across her face, her heart fluttering at his touch.

"Is this a thing now?" She questioned while raising an eyebrow.

He dropped her hand to respond, "do you not like the thing?"

"No, I-I like the thing," she assured him as he gave her a smile, leaving the room for the supply run.

She liked the gesture, because it was easier than saying goodbye.

➸ ➸ ➸

More weeks had passed, and Lauren couldn't help but feel something more for Freya. She was nervous to ask her about it, but Lauren didn't want to be friends anymore.

She believed she loved Freya more than that.

Lauren had woke up, having the urge to finally admit it to Freya. Surprisingly, Lauren didn't find her sleeping. Lauren was usually the one to get up first, but today must have been different.

"Freya?" Lauren called out, leaving the office they slept in to venture through the drugstore. Freya was no where to be found, but she could see the bathroom door being opened slightly.

"Freya?" She called out again, but is a lower voice. She was a bit scared now, what if something happened to her?

Pushing open the bathroom door fully, Lauren felt completely paralyzed. Her blood ran cold, her eyes trailing over the pool of blood on the floor. She was mumbling incoherent curse words, glancing further into the bathroom to spot her best friend's lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Lauren tried to breathe, but she was so shocked that she almost forgot how.

She stepped in closer, her hands flying to her mouth as she screamed into them. Hot tears pooled in her eyes, as she slid down the wall in agony.

The marks on Freya's wrists gave her an assumption of what had happened.

"No!" She wailed, clenching her stomach in pain. Everything hurt, mentally and physically. She never thought she would have to face death again, but it was right in front of her eyes now.

Freya's blood was now stained on Lauren's skin, her hands shaking in fear. The sobs continued as she closed her eyes, holding Freya's cold hand.

I was supposed to save you, she thought to herself.

All Lauren could do was scream, because she didn't care if a biter heard her. She didn't care if she died there.

In that moment, she wished she had died in that cellar so she wouldn't have to face the harsh pain of her heart being ripped out of her chest.

It hurt so goddam much.

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Lauren's dark forest eyes shot open, her staggered breathing pushing her into reality. She seemed to be laying on the bed in the boy's room. Lauren then remembered falling asleep on the bed when they left for a run since Rick took the master bedroom.

But the stomping and yelling on the floor below her definitely didn't sound like Rick.

Lauren's breath hitched in her throat, quickly shooting up from the bed to grab her dagger. Shoving that in her holster, she took ahold of her pistol, ready to shoot at any moment.

There were men downstairs, and she had no idea what to do.

Her hands shook at the thought of Rick already dead in her mind. Was he still in the other bedroom? Lauren tip toed to the door, slowly opening it to view the hallway. The men's booming voices echoed throughout the house, she figured they would come upstairs.

When she peeked further down the hall, a scared Rick looked through his bedroom. Lauren gave him a worried look, but he gestured for her to come into his room. It was too late, as someone began climbing up to the top floor, about to pass her room. Lauren immediately fell back inside the bedroom, hiding behind the door with her pistol aimed upwards by her face. Her breathing was unsteady, but she wasn't sure how to calm herself in this situation.

Footsteps came into earshot, she had to think fast. Lauren crept towards the bed, hesitantly falling to the floor and rolling under the bed. As soon as she was fully under, the bedroom door opened and a man stepped inside. Lauren covered her hand over her mouth to stop her harsh breathing, her hands shaking in fear.

She was paralyzed and petrified the second the man stood by the foot of her bed. One wrong move and she was dead. He soon turned around, and left the bedroom, leaving Lauren to breathe out slowly and to steady her breathing. She figured he went into the master bedroom, but she wasn't sure if she should move or not. She felt safest under that bed, so that's where she stayed.

Sweat drenched her face as she laid under that bed for what felt like minutes on end.

Her breathing was still shaky, but she managed to pull herself together, finally rolling out from under the mattress.

Slowly standing up, she heard a few footsteps and leaned against a wall that separated the bed area from the other part of the room.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath, realizing that she forgot her backpack. Thankfully she had not left it on the bed, but rather on the floor beside it. The man seemed to have not noticed it, so she discretely picked it up and put it on her back.

She leaned against the wall again, her pistol up by her face. There were two wall like bookshelves that separated the bed from the rest of the room, which gave her a good hiding spot.

Suddenly somebody came from behind the other side, a shriek escaping her. It was barely audible as the person held their hand on her mouth. She was about to kick them away, until she realized it was Rick. He held his other finger up to his lips, signalling for her to stay quiet. Another man was walking into the room, so Lauren backed up so Rick could hide behind her wall.

His hand fell from her face, so she put hers to her mouth instead. Whoever was in there tossed a tennis ball against the window beside them, giving a shiver of fear down her spine. Thankfully he didn't see them, as the man left the room. As the sound of the tennis ball bouncing got farther away, Rick glanced around the corner to see if they were safe.

He suddenly turned around, checking the windows to see if they were open. Lauren went to the other wall, struggling to open the window. It wouldn't budge.

Walking into the other part of the bedroom, Lauren leaned against the wall, peering into the hallway. Rick had followed, grabbing a trophy on a shelf for a weapon. Lauren's eyes trailed across the stairs, watching two men walk down them.

Lauren crept quickly out into the hall and against the wall that faced the stairs; they had to find a way out without being caught.

Glancing behind her into the master bedroom, there was a man dead on the floor. It must had been one of the men from the group, but she didn't care how he got there. She began walking into the room, before she heard footsteps climbing up the stairs. The men were talking about getting a gun, seeing the gun on the bed. She had not time to get it, so she quickly backed up past the bedroom Rick was still in, and into the bathroom. Rick hid in the kid's bedroom, where as Lauren hid in the bathroom and closed the door. Her stomach churned when she turned to see a man sitting on the toilet. He wasn't using it, but he was sitting on top of the lid.

Without hesitation, Lauren swung her pistol against the man's face, making him stunned for a second. Shooting him would grab the whole group's attention, which was a bad idea. The man stood up, pushing Lauren against the counter. Her gun dropped in the process, a grunt of pain escaping her as her lower back hit the counter. Without thinking, she slammed her forehead into his, the man stumbling back in confusion. That hurt like hell, but she shook her head, kicking the man in the gut. Before he could do anything, Lauren turned around and grabbed he sharpest thing in her vision.

A nice pair of blue scissors.

Twisting around to see the man charge at her, Lauren swung the scissors at his head, jabbing him in the forehead. He immediately fell to the ground, Lauren slowly placing him down to limit the noise. She fell to the floor as well, trying to catch her breath.

Lauren placed her sweaty hand on her forehead while trying to ease the pain.

Never doing that again, she thought to herself.

The bathroom door suddenly opened, making Lauren reach for her pistol on the ground and aim it towards the figure at the door. The figure raised his hands in defense, Lauren seeing that it was just Rick. He glanced down to see a man dead on the ground.

"You had to," he tried to assure her. Little did he know that she wasn't worried about killing him whatsoever.

"I know," she breathed out, standing up and turning to the bathroom window. She successfully opened it, turning to see Rick nod in agreement.

They had a way out.

Rick had picked up the gun that the man was carrying, heading out the window first, followed by Lauren. The two crouched on the roof as Rick peeked over the edge to see if it was clear to go. It seemed to be, Rick beginning to go off it.

Rick successfully dropped down with Lauren doing the same, crouching near the back door to make sure they weren't heard. At this point Lauen felt like she had zero energy left, this was exhausting.

No one seemed to hear them, so Rick continued towards the stairs, Lauren right behind him. The two then walked down the stairs and onto the grass, crouching towards the front of the house where some of the group was. Being right beside the front porch they could hear the infamous ball bouncing. The man then sat on the railing, eating something from his can.

Lauren peeked past Rick and towards the street, her heart sinking to her stomach when she could see Carl and Michonne on their way back. Rick was about to attack, before walkers must have entered the house and the person muttered curse words while walking inside. Thank God that had happened, or else the two of them on the street could have been caught.

Gunshots erupted in the home, before Rick began running towards them. Lauren followed, wanting to get out of that situation as quick as possible.

"Carl, go!" Rick shouted to him as they made their way to the two. Michonne and Carl were confused at first, before they agreed and followed Rick and Lauren down the street.

That was definitely a series of unfortunate events.

➸ ➸ ➸

The four survivors had been walking for hours now, and were strolling along the train track. Along the way Rick and Lauren had explained what happened, but the walk was mostly silent.

"Crazy cheese?" Lauren suddenly heard Carl ask, turning to see him holding out a can of crazy cheese. Lauren snorted in amusement and shook her head.

"No, I'm good," she replied, Carl shrugging his shoulders and placing the bottle back in his bag. Luckily she had her belongings, but they left a lot of good supplies back at that house.

A huge, red train car appeared in Lauren's view. It had a banner with welcoming words on it and a map to some sanctuary on it.

"What do you think?" Michonne questioned Rick. Lauren always had bad feelings about places because of her issues with trust, but maybe this place was sanctuary after all.

"Let's go," he answered as the four continued along the train tracks.

Lauren couldn't stop thinking about it. Was sanctuary even possible anymore?

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a/n: ty for reading, and omg i have so much inspo for this book rn im writing sm this week