CHAPTER 1 | THE JOURNAL

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   Villains always have a story, a past in which they weren't a wretched monster, only weak and misunderstood. Or simply, good. But sometimes the villain would redeem themselves in the end.

Lauren highly doubted that she could ever become the child she once was.

Darkness loomed with every step she took. The dark, brown leaves under her boots crunched, leaving an eerie feel around her as she made her way blindly through the forest. The figure strode slowly along an unknown path; it's not like she had anywhere to be.

Her dark emerald eyes squinted as they examined the landscape in front of her. The girl under the dark, green hood could hear something, but she didn't know what direction it was coming from.

A loud gurgling sound suddenly filled her ears. She perked up, spinning her head towards the source of the noise. It was just another biter. The undead creature stumbled towards the mysterious girl as it hung its jaw open, hungry for her flesh to say the least. Her brooding eyes turned soft as she recognized the creature to be the undead version of her aunt Julie.

She felt the slightest bit of grief when the memories of who she was came into mind; they disappeared almost instantly. If this was before the epidemic, she would probably cry in remorse. But she wasn't the same girl anymore; she could hardly recognize herself.

She knew what it felt like to look into a mirror and despise what she sees. She hated everything she had become, but she was too far gone to ever redeem herself.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she watched as the biter got too close for comfort. She took the dagger out of her holster and roughly shoved it into its forehead, making the creature fall down dead. The dagger was pulled out, the young brunette's nose scrunching at the horrid smell and look of the deep red blood dripping from the knife. She simply wiped it off on her old jeans. She was used to the vulgar smell and gruesome nature of these monsters. She was numb to the world.

And numb to everything else this apocalypse had to offer.

Plunging the dagger back into her holster, she took off her backpack and searched for her journal. Feeling the cold leather brush against her fingertips, she grasped it and took it out. Then she searched for a pencil. But instead, she felt an unfamiliar piece of paper. Looking at it, she inspected it. It was an old photo of her; she must have had it in here when she first started packing her bag all those years ago.

The colours had faded, and the edges were ripped, but her 10-year-old self was still clearly visible. Her dark, chestnut hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. It reached the middle of her neck, but after not cutting it for so many months her hair went past her chest. Her beaming smile in the photo made an uneasy feeling rest in the pit of her stomach. Maybe it was because she hadn't seen herself that happy since then. Or maybe it was because the girl in the photo had no clue what was to come.

It made her feel sick, remembering what life used to be like. How lucky the world was. Her eyes in the photo were an emerald green, contrasting against her pale skin. She was way paler now, mostly due to malnutrition and lack of proper health. Lauren was one to always make sure to exercise in times like this, but it was hard when sometimes you could barely sit up in the morning, your stomach aching at the emptiness inside of it.

Lauren scowled, a growl escaping her dry throat, as she ripped the photo in two with her dirt covered fingers.

She let the pieces of paper fall back into the bag as she continued her search. The pencil came into reach, and she took it out, beginning to flip to the page she needed. On the last page of her journal, there was a small list of names. From family members, to close friends. They were the names of people she used to love. Most of the names were crossed out already; she crossed out a name when she found them dead. It kept track of how much hope she had left. She got less sad each time she had to cross a name off the list.

While drawing a straight line through her aunt's name, the led on the tip of the pencil snapped off. Lauren grunted in frustration, before throwing the pencil in the distance. She threw her book back in her backpack before continuing on her her blind journey through the dense forest.

It was later midday, and Lauren had come to a clearing. The concrete road met with her boots, and there was a small general store ahead. Perfect for supplies. But the rotting smell of biters that filled the air told her it wasn't safe. From where she was she could see biters hanging around the back of the store. One of them suddenly fell to the ground; a man had just killed one. Shit, she wasn't alone. But he was busy killing a group of them.

An idea formed in her head.

Wiping the sweat off her top lip, she tightened her mask around her lower face, her hand ghosted over her dagger just in case, and she let her plan unfold.

As the man in the leather vest continued to take down the biters, Lauren ran across the street, and lightly walked into the store. She could practically hear each biter that went down from inside.

Picking up a basket on the ground, Lauren began shoving things into it. Food, meds, you name it. She got it.

But suddenly the killing noises drifted off. There seemed to be no biters left.

Before Lauren could think of what to do, the man came in from the back door, the two suddenly noticing each other. He began to yell something at her, but she didn't comprehend it, sprinting out the front door.

Pushing open the glass door, she made it a few steps out before her body collided with something; someone. She fell to the ground with a thud, feeling her knees scrape gingerly against the concrete. No damage was done.

Lauren spun upright on the ground and aimed the dagger at the person who hit her, revealing a man pointing a pistol at her. He had the upper hand. He had a gruff stubble and a dark brown shirt. Maybe in his forties, like the other guy.

The man in the leather vest appeared behind him, aiming a fairly daunting crossbow between her eyes. But that didn't stop her from keeping her chin and dagger held high.

"Drop the knife, and we'll take the supplies," the man with the brown shirt ordered. Lauren simply glared in response. They didn't seem like kid killers, so she kept the weapon up.

"Don't make me shoot you," the man in the back with the long, brown hair gruffly stated. Okay, maybe he looked like somebody she didn't want to mess with. She could picture it now, taking them both down and keeping the supplies. But there was no way she was getting out of this situation.

But her mind had last minute plans. Lauren hastily threw her dagger at the man behind brown shirt, the weapon hitting the man's crossbow. Her foot smashed into brown shirt's knee, making him wince in pain for a moment. A moment is enough.

Lauren snatched the basket, got to her feet and ran. She imagined herself sprinting back into the forest, but once again she was stopped by his grip around her arm. She knew what angry grips felt like, but this one was light.

Lighter than she'd felt in awhile.

She struggled for a moment, glaring daggers into the man's eyes, before he yanked her mask down, revealing herself. By the look on his face, she could tell he didn't realize how young she was.

Distracted by her looks, she yanked her arm out of his grasp but didn't run. She didn't know why.

"That bitch broke my cr-"

"Are you alone?" The confused man interrupted. Lauren hesitated but nodded anyways.

"How...how old are you?"

"15, probably," Lauren grumbled under her breath, but loud enough for him to hear. Why was he asking so many questions?

The two men glanced at each other worriedly, before brown shirt finally introduced himself, along with his sidekick. "Name's Rick, this is Daryl."

Rick paused, insinuating that Lauren would tell her own name. She obeyed. "Lauren."

He continued pestering her with his questions. "How many walkers you kill?"

Walkers. What a silly name.

"Tons."

"How many people?"

Lauren's high demeanour finally faltered as those words left his lips. Oh, how she wished she could tell him 0. But that was a lie. She couldn't even count them on her fingers. She couldn't even remember how many she'd killed, even if their faces haunted her nightmares.

"And why the hell do you care?" Lauren seethed, knowing how much they would fear her if she told them the truth. If she told them how it made her feel nothing at all. It was a blissful numbness from the pain that only death could bring her. Drifting herself farther and farther from behind human made her tears stop falling, or made the memories fade away.

For the time being, at least.

"I care because if you don't answer them, you don't get your knife back."

Of course, her special knife. The knife that was dull from all the skin it had torn apart. The knife that dripped with regrets. But she couldn't let it go.

"A few." She answered lightly. Lauren anxiously waited, seeing if they would buy the lies that slipped off her tongue.

Rick didn't seem to want to push further into numbers. "Why?"

Why? She couldn't tell anybody that. She could barely admit it to herself.

"Because I had to. Now can I have my knife back?"

The two men looked at each other once again, almost sharing a silent agreement before Daryl handed her the dagger. Lauren immediately put it back in her holster.

Rick continued speaking. "I asked you those questions because I wanted to see if I could trust you. My people, we have a group-"

"I'm better alone," Lauren interjected. That was the truth. Being alone meant you wouldn't have to watch the people you got close to suffer. And worse, die. Lauren had learned that the hard way.

Rick shook his head. "You don't seem to have much food. Us, we have tons of food. And shelter. And working water. When was the last time you had a shower?"

Lauren's silence gave him his answer.

"I know I shouldn't have to say this, but I don't fully trust you. But you're just a kid, and I could be totally wrong. You don't deserve to have to work for survival. I want you to join my group. It's at a safe and secure prison."

Everything inside of her told her no. Because yes always got her into situations that she regretted. Yes built up her trust issues even more.

The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Fine."

The supplies were taken, and the two men guided the young brunette to their destination, the prison. The prison suddenly sparked a memory in her mind, she'd seen that place before.

➸ ➸ ➸

The girl behind the hood scurried across the forest floor, her cape flowing in the wind behind her. Her boots stopped herself in front of a big oak tree, peaking Lauren's interest.

Stealthily, she began grasping and pulling herself up onto the nearest branch on the tree.

Successfully, the girl reached the branch and balanced herself on top of it. With squinted eyes, she surveyed the area, and surprisingly found a shelter; it was a gigantic prison.

Unluckily for her, there were people already occupying it.

She was near one of the prison walls, a giant yard in view and a building in the background which she guessed were cellblocks.

Lauren's dark eyes quickly caught sight of someone walking across the yard of the prison.

Maybe I can take them all, one by one, the girl thought to herself. Lauren reached backward until she could feel her bow, and brought it in front of her. Taking an arrow from her quiver, she set it in the bow, slowly pulling the string and the arrow back while aiming towards the person.

As she continued her aim, and almost let go of her perfect shot, she was hesitant. Her green eyes widened slightly, soon realizing that the person she was aiming at was a boy; he looked around her age.

Just shoot him, your kill being a kid has never stopped you before, a voice told her in her head. Aggravated, Lauren shook her head and started aiming again at the boy with the strange sheriff's hat.

Her breathing became unsteady, and she found herself not being able to do it. Lauren was confused, wanting so badly to let go of that arrow. If she killed this one, more could come. She would be dead in minutes. Lauren had no clue what she was getting herself into.

Sadly, she lowered her bow. Lauren observed the boy, watching him aimlessly walking around. Suddenly, a bit of bark fell off of the tree from under her foot, creating a loud crunching sound as it hit the forest floor.

The boy turned his head towards the tree Lauren was occupying, and the girl quickly turned behind it, surprisingly worried he would find her. She slowly made her breathing come back to a regular pace before peeking back behind the tree towards the boy.

He gave up on trying to figure out if anything was in that tree, and continued his walk around. Defeatedly, Lauren jumped off the tree, and ran off into another direction, hoping to find supplies.

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[2348 WORDS/EDITED]

a/n: thank you so much for reading! this is my first book ive ever written, and i appreciate it a lot! i am not an expert at writing, so sorry if there are any mistakes :)

hopefully you enjoyed it, and will stick around for the next chapter!