"Alright, alright. Just let me down".

I was thrown on my bed. I rubbed my thigh, glaring up at Duncan.

"You should rest", Adira said.

"Rest? I don't need rest. I need blood". I sat up ready to take my leave but Duncan shoved me back with just a push of his finger.

"You are really getting on my nerves Duncan".

"Sienna you going through a transformation and you need to calm down".

Taking in the deepest breath I said, "fine I'll calm down. I just need to be alone right now". I brought my knees to my chest and avoided their gaze by turning my head to the wall.

"Okay. We will be right outside if you need anything", Adira said giving Duncan a nod.

I didn't reply.

Once I knew they were gone, tears flowed down my cheeks hysterically.
It was like every atom of my being screamed in unison, traumatized.

"What have I done!".

My cry felt like my brain was being shredded from the inside. I grabbed one of the pillows so that my violent shaking would calm down. My eyes came a thicker flow of tears.
The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. My breathing became heavy and I just curled up into a fetus.

Hours had begun to dissolve into itself, as shapeless as the rain. When I had finally opened my eyes, I had realized I had fallen into a deep sleep. Hours had past maybe the day. I wasn't sure.

I sat up with a yawn.

"Hey!", Adira said, opening the curtains and stepping in. "I brought you something to drink".

"No more blood please", I uttered with a croaky voice.

"It's not blood, it's a cup of coffee". She extended the cup towards me.

I carefully took it in my hands, taking a sip. "Thanks".

Adira took her place on her bed. "So how are you feeling?".

"I'm-", instantly something switched on. While I slept flashback of being in that alley came to mind. The abuse I had to endure at the side of Jax these couple of weeks. He made me what I am now. It's his fault I had given in to the hunger. I was completely done. I immediately took my stand, placing the cup aside.

"Where are you going?".

"I must see Jax".

"What?! Are you crazy. Why would you want to see him?". Adira got on her feet.

"I need to find a way. He is my way out of this misery". I shoulder bumped her as I made my way to the exit.

"What are you talking about?".

Without giving her the answer I had bolted out the room.

Once I was close to my destination, I slowed down. My transformation must now always be the part to lead me, listening to my instincts and making the right choices. It is part of me now and I must trust it.

I was confident enough to stroll into the lounge filled with intoxicated vamps.
I stood before Jax, my insides quivering but my face set hard.

I will not be moulded by him who wants me conveniently mollified.

"Sienna". He was surprise to see me after days of absences from his presence.

"My lord", I said extending the back of my hand towards him. He didn't think twice to take it and give it a long kiss.

"What's this sudden visit? I know you been busy with all the work I have giving you, I haven't called you?".

"I have missed you so much, my Prince. I had to come see you".

"Oh have you?" he asked with enthusiasm.

This asshole hinks I miss him? As if.

"Of course I have", I said taking steps up to get closer to him.

He was too surprise and unconvinced of my sudden desire of him.

Think Sienna, think.

"Do you not believe I have missed you?", I said pouting my lips.

He took a grip of my wrist. I held in the small sharp pain that ran up my arm.

"You better not be playing a game with me!", he snapped.

I twitched my wrist in order to loosen his grip. "Of course not your majesty". I gave him a forceful smile.

"Good", he grinned, letting go of me.

I swallowed trying so hard not to think the step I was going to do next.

I need to let my vamp side be in control, I told myself.

I felt careless, determine and brave.

I sat on his lap. He lay back on his chair, observing my every move with a smirk.

"As I was saying I miss that day when you took me to your room and kissed me. Your lips against mine. It felt like a puzzle, meant to be".

Jax violently pulled me in, placing his hands on my waist. "Then kiss me".

I looked into his eyes. His eyes were the green of fresh asparagus tips, flecked with the colour of nutmeg. As beautiful as they were, evil was set on them.

I leaned in, before I had a chance to place them on his lips, he had his against mines. His tongue delved inside my mouth. He Sucked my lips as if trying to suck my soul out. Taking my every breath. His hand ran through my hair. Taking a grip of a few locks, he yanked it back. My head forced backwards. There I felt the graze of his lips against my neck. I had to pretend I relished every moment of it.
Another few minutes had pass before my heart ached in pain.

"Not again!", I cried out.

"What?", Jax said, lifting his head from my cleavage.

"Ugh- I said again". I looked away trying to avoid him seeing the tears welling in my eyes.

"Oh you like it, don't you?".

I nodded.

His lips and tongue continue to savor my every upper body parts.

As he continued, I gasped, opening my eyes wide to witness no other than Cyan himself. My emotions came in brutal waves, pain felt in full measure.

Am I angry you can't kiss away my pain? That you are not able to heal me with just words and kind eyes? Just maybe our hearts are calling to each other and we refuse to listen.

His emotions are so high I can feel them leap from him right into my eyes. It was a stab to my heart. I gagged quietly.
A lone tear streamed down his face, turning into an icicle as it dropped to the floor. He turned his head away, shutting his eyes tightly. Not wanting to see what he was seeing.

"What is that?!".

Reality again hit me and I was snapped back into it with Jax's thunderous voice.

"What?", I softly replied.

Jax pulled me upward, removing my hair away from my neck. He grip to my shoulder tightly. "Who the fuck gave you that bite mark?".

I had totally forgotten about the guy at the feeding room.

"Who did you let feed on you!?", his voice echoed through out the room.

I was too speechless to even speak.

"My lord", A guard quickly bowed at his steps and proceeded up close.

"What?".

"Someone had witness Doom feeding off Sienna at the feeding room. Duncan and Adira came to her rescue".

Jax gave me an evil grin. "And doomed he shall be". He pushed me off his lap, taking his stand.

"Group three of your men and follow me. And have Adira and Duncan be highly rewarded for their action".

"Yes sir".

There was a silence to my soul. I felt the chill in my blood, coldness bringing the synapses of my brain to a stand still. Part of it was the pain. I didn't move. Emptiness was so consuming it couldn't bare to pretend that everything was okay.
I was there for a half an hour before I decided to take myself off the steps and down to the floor.

I caught sight of Cyan sitting at a stool gulping down a cup of whiskey. I made my way over, taking my seat next to him.

"You knew the pain I was feeling and you continued any way", he said without looking at me.

"You knew mines and you also continued. We can call it even".

"Didn't I stop and made both our pain go away?", he gulped down another, gritting his teeth from the strong taste.

"Then make it go away and we both will be happy".

"Will we?", he asked, finally meeting my gaze.

"I-ugh you are to be wedd anyways". I looked away, not giving the slightest care.

I can sense a small smile plaster on his lips. "To cry at our distance is strength, strength to see and engage with what is truly being seen and felt. To feel a deep emotion that neither of us can control".

"What are you saying?".

"That we are connected. For it to work, you have to feel it too. Desire it, want it. You can't deny the strong feelings you have towards me".

"And here I go again, repeating myself. Why does it matter when we both know you are engaged".

My insides told otherwise. My mind and heart screamed for him. For just a touched. I was holding back every urge to tell him how I truly felt.

He bit his lip, shrugging his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes as I placed my hands on top of the counter top and entwined them together.

"Want anything to drink?", the bartender asked.

"Um, I'll have what he's having".

The man gave a small knock on the counter. "Coming right up", and walked away.

Cyan didn't say anything nor did he look at me.

Another second did not pass before the bartender had come back with my drink. "Here you go. Enjoy".

"Thanks".

Cyan slammed his cup against the counter top and got up. I stared at him stunt.

He glared at me then at my drink. Giving a small grin he spoke, "looks like your drink is missing ice".

"Um-".

Without waiting for a reply he touched the cup with his fingertip. A trace of ice crept from the bottom, building its way up the glass.

"Good day", he uttered before going on his way.

I watched him as he disappeared between the crowd of people.
Shaking my head I took the cup in my hand. "Ouch!". I dropped the cup, the pieces shattering on the counter top.

The bartender quickly made his way over. "Are you okay?".

"Sorry I'm so clumsy".

"Don't worry about it", he said as he grabbed a cloth and cleaned up the mess I did.

I stood up from my seat and walked away, holding on to my hand.
That cup burned. A cold burning sensation like last time. I glared at the distance.

I growled his name, "Cyan".