musical mood: let it be - the beatles

The Patil twins didn't return back to Hogwarts, after their father's murder. No one could blame them. Cass couldn't imagine what they were going through. Sai had been so kind to her, if not a bit eccentric, when they'd spent a week together in Westminster over the summer. It had perhaps been one of the best weeks of her life, and it broke her heart that such a kind soul had lost his life, and in such a horrific way.

Like Connor, Ana was a place she refused to allow her mind to touch, for the rest of break, though it was considerably harder to do so when she returned back to school. Sitting on the train, thinking about the last conversation her and Ana had, it was impossible to not sob her eyes out. At least she was alone, having refused to sit with her other classmates, and didn't have to suffer the humiliation of publicly crying.

She skipped the feast, the mere concept of eating causing her stomach to churn with nausea, and instead headed up to her dorm. Though her journey was cut off when she entered the common room, and Henry stepped in front of her.

"Shouldn't you be at the feast?" Was the first thing he asked.

"Shouldn't you?"

"I'm not hungry." He shook his head. "We heard about what happened to Ana. I'm so sorry, Cass."

She wanted to say it was alright, that it wasn't his fault, so he had no reason to be sorry, but for some reason, she couldn't. Because it wasn't alright, it never would be alright. Instead, she asked, "How's Theodore?"

He shook his head once more. "He's...well, I don't think you want to know how he is."

"I do. He's my friend. I care about him, I want him to be okay."

"Cass, this is Ana we're talking about. She was Theodore's everything. After he read what happened, I had to talk him down from drowning himself in the Black Lake. He tried to go on the frozen ice, and break through it."

"Oh Merlin." She ran a hand through her hair, trying to steady her breathing.

"I don't think he'll ever be okay again." He pressed his lips together. "I don't know if I will be either, not for a while, at least. Ana, we never were close, but Merlin, was she wonderful."

Tears began to prick at Cass's eyes, and she quickly blinked them away. "She was, wasn't she?"

It felt strange, referring to Ana in the past tense, with words like were and was, and not is and are. It felt wrong, it didn't feel real.

"Cass, if you need anything, you know you can come to me, right?"

"Thank you."

"Do you need to talk?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather just go to sleep. Thank you, though."

"Of course." He gave her a sad smile that she didn't bother to reciprocate. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

She nodded, before making her way up to her dorm. Fiddling through her bag, she reached inside, finding her stash of calming droughts and taking one, two, three, four, enough until she was dizzy from the liquid flooding her system. Somehow, though it was hard for her to so much as stand on her two feet, she made her way to her bed, collapsing into it and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

She dreamt of fire.

*

The Ravenclaw vs Slytherin Quidditch match wasn't cancelled, for Merlin knows what reason. One would think that the murder of a Hogwarts student would have more of a mourning period - there had been a significant one for Cedric, after all, but outside of Ana's close friends, no one seemed to care all that much. Was it because she was a muggleborn? Perhaps because she was a foreigner? Merlin knows Great Britain didn't take well to those born elsewhere, be it muggles or wizards alike.

Naia and Terry were playing the match, so naturally, everyone clambered into the stands to watch the two, with a newfound appreciation for their friends. Before, Cass had hated every second of being at Quidditch matches, but this time, she figured she should support her friend, no matter how much it annoyed her. Naia and Terry deserved as much. She didn't know what she would do if she lost another friend.

Bethany hadn't attended the match, unlike the rest of their friend group, citing a need to spend time with Colin. Cass doubted that was the case, she likely just wanted time alone, to cry without anyone seeing. Bethany was certainly taking Ana's murder harder than any of their other friends. The two had been as tight as it got.

Theodore, on the other hand, did attend the match. To say he looked like hell would've been a severe understatement. His red rimmed eyes had seemingly permanent bags under them, his typically tan skin was a ghostly pale, and he clearly hadn't washed his greasy hair in weeks. Still, he sat by their friends, though he made little conversation. She couldn't blame him.

The two teams flew out onto the pitch, all arranged by Madam Hooch as she went through the rules, something she did before every game. Though, Cass noticed, as she talked, there was a rustling up in the commentators box, just behind Madam Hooch's head.

When she squinted to the other side of the pitch, she could only just made out the figures, and when she did, her eyes widened. It was Bethany, fighting tooth and nail with Zacharias Smith for the commentators mic.

"Hey - oi - no - fucking - hell! Burke, I swear to Merlin-" Zacharias seemed to have given up, as he turned to McGonagall with a furious gaze, though the professor did nothing.

"Hello." Bethany's voice filled the pitch, a tremble in her tone that Cass had only heard one other time, the day her father broke out of prison. "You may not know me, but I'm Bethany, a fifth year Ravenclaw. I am...was a friend of Anastasia Vasiliev. Ana, actually. Everyone who knew her called her Ana. I - oi- stay away from me Smith, or I swear to God I will rip your head off your ugly neck! Yeah, that's what I thought. I wanted to say, Ana was my best friend, and she won't be forgotten. I refuse to let her be forgotten, to let her name go unheard, unsung, when she sang for so many people. I remember, one day, I was having a really rough go at things...and she showed me this song, telling me to listen to the lyrics, and that it would help me. It really did, and I'd like to play it for you now."

Before anyone could do anything to stop her, she tapped the mic with her wand, and music blasted through the pitch, a song Cass, alongside just about everyone who experienced any form of a muggle life, was all too familiar with.

When I find myself in times of trouble

Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

For the first verse, it was just Paul McCartney's voice that sung, but when the next lyrics spilled from the mic and into the pitch, Terry and Naia joined in from where they sat on their broomsticks, their wands lifted up to their chins to amplify their voices.

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom

Let it be

It was simply too much, and just at the three voices; Paul, Naia and Terry's, Cass burst into tears.

She wasn't the only one. Theodore was next to her, sobbing into his hands without a care for those who saw. Theodore, who likely didn't know the song, but was sure to understand the meaning, and how much it meant to Ana.

Let It Be, it was perfect for her, perfect for someone who didn't hold grudges, someone who knew how to take something horrible and make it bearable. Someone too good for the world.

Next, nearly the entire pitch tuned in, practically all the muggleborns, halfbloods, and even a few purebloods who somehow knew of the song. While the Slytherins didn't have as many voices in their crowd, Cass could pick out the ones that were singing, and there were plenty. Because even the prejudice of Slytherin could easily be battled by how loved Ana was.

Let it be, let it be

Let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom

Let it be

When all the broken hearted people

Living in the world agree

There will be an answer

Let it be

By the last verse, all of Ana's friends were in tears, and even Bethany was openly sobbing from her spot at the commentators box, harder than she had when her father had escaped Azkaban, harder than Cass imagined she'd ever cry again. No one could escape the tragedy that had been Ana's fate. No one would go without knowing her name, her legacy.

And when the night is cloudy

There is still a light that shines on me

Shine until tomorrow

Let it be

I wake up to the sound of music

Mother Mary come to me

There will be no sorrow

Let it be

*

The match went by quickly, with a Slytherin victory, though Malfoy was little help in the matter. In fact, he was playing so poorly, even Cass noticed, who hardly knew a thing about the sport.

"There's going to be a party." Theodore murmured to her as they made their way out of the stands, the first words he had spoken to her since the match had began. He'd stopped bawling about halfway through the match, leaving his voice hoarse and dry. "In the common rooms. Come."

"Why?"

"Your mission. Recruiting the Death Eaters." He said, his voice dull, uncaring. "Assuming you still care about it."

"I do." She nodded, though she wasn't sure how much she meant it. The Death Eaters, was working for them worth it, if they would harm the ones she loved anyways? "Listen, Theodore, about Ana-"

"Don't." He raised a hand, cutting her off. She noticed he was shaking. "Don't talk about her. Please. It hurts too much."

"Of course." She gave him a smile. "We do need to talk, though. You, me, Malfoy and Henry."

"About?"

"About Potter. He's on to us. On to Malfoy, anyways." She'd almost forgotten about her near fuck up with the truth serum, until she was reminded of her mission.

"We can talk at the party. Henry is going, I reckon."

"You reckon?"

"If you're going, I imagine he is." She raised her eyebrows, and he continued. "You're together. Why wouldn't he go?"

"Just because we're together, doesn't mean we're...together."

He let out a cold, dry laugh that made her skin crawl. "You ought to tell him that, then."

*

"Fancy a firewhiskey?" Henry asked her as they entered the Slytherin common room, immediately overwhelmed by music that blared overhead, the source unclear.

"Please." Cass muttered as she rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on already from the volume. There was nothing more she wanted than to go to her room, drink some calming drought, and fall asleep, to get Ana and Connor and her other dead friends out of her mind, but she had a mission to do. Recruit Adelaide Burke.

"Be right back." Henry gave her a nod before walking off into the crowd of Slytherins, of which Adelaide was nowhere to be seen, though she searched hard for her. Maybe she didn't fancy parties. Cass couldn't blame her.

Oh well, maybe there were other Slytherins she could attempt to recruit. Pansy Parkinson was mid-conversation with Gregory Goyle, and Daphne Greengrass was clearly wasted, stumbling around the common room, singing. None of them seemed like likely candidates.

"What are you doing here?"

She turned around and found herself face to face with Vincent Crabbe. He was a large, fat man, with thick black hair and what seemed to be a permanent scowl. He was a beater on the Slytherin team, giving him extraordinary muscles, that could take down Cass with one wrong movement.

"I'm here with Henry." She motioned towards her fiancé, who was getting firewhiskey from Blaise Zabini. "You played well, today."

"Thanks." His voice was low, and gruff, reminding Cass of Alastor.

A silence fell between the two, one that Cass needed, as she ran through her mind, debating whether or not Crabbe would be a good option to recruit. Sure, he was a bit of a pyromaniac, but his father was already a death eater, surely he was on the way as it was.

Fuck it.

"Crabbe. I have a question for you."

He raised his eyebrows lazily. "Yes?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Henry materialized next to her, two bottles of firewhiskey in hand. "Got yours." He handed it to her, and she forced a smile as she took a sip from hers. Crabbe eyed the two up and down, clearly not wanting to spend any more time than necessary around two Ravenclaws, and simply walked away. Oh well, she could recruit Crabbe any other time, it wasn't like he was hard to find. Adelaide, on the other hand...

"You seem distracted."

"I'm looking for Adelaide. She's the only reason I'm at this stupid thing, I think I should recruit her."

"Adelaide...Adelaide Burke?"

"Do you know any other Adelaide's?"

"Well, no, but..." He lowered his voice, "Why would you want to get her onto the Death Eaters side, of all people? She has never expressed loyalty to You-Know-Who before, other than throwing around mudblood left and right."

Even after everything, Cass still flinched at the usage of that word. Henry seemed to notice this, as he stifled a laugh. "You work for You-Know-Who and you still don't like the word mudblood?"

"Why would I want to?" She snapped, harsher than she meant to. "I have muggleborn friends. Ana was muggleborn, Terry is muggleborn. Connor was a muggle. Just because we're on his side now, doesn't mean I believe a single word that comes out of his pathetic lips. You should know that, by now."

"Sheesh, sorry. Just thought it was funny, is all."

She folded her arms over her chest, not responding. Luckily, she didn't have to, because Theodore approached her, Malfoy at his heels.

"I heard you want to talk to me?" Malfoy raised a lazy eyebrow, clearly not wanting to be there.

"Yes, you three, follow me, now." She motioned for them to exit the common room, and they did, all trailing after her as they stalked out of the room, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible. When Cass was able to confirm they were, in fact, alone in the hallway, she turned to the boys. "Potter is on to us."

"Well, duh." Malfoy stared at her like she was stupid. "I literally told you that he's been following me around. He pulled that stunt on the train as well, remember?"

She shook her head. "He took it a step further, though. He tried to drug me with Veritaserum, over break."

"He what?!" Henry jerked his head to stare at her, a newfound sense of urgency apparent in him. Malfoy and Theodore looked just as disturbed at this revelation, Malfoy even seeming a bit green.

"You didn't drink it, did you?" The blonde boy hardly seemed to be breathing.

"Of course not, I'm not daft." She let out something like a laugh. "I recognised the potion. A poorly brewed truth serum will smell like lemons. Remember that. I think I led him off our trails, a bit, at least. I pretended to drink it and told him I knew nothing."

"What did he ask you?" Theodore asked, though he seemed quite apathetic to the whole situation, now that he knew it wasn't a big deal.

"Just if Malfoy was up to something, and if he was, what was it. I told him I know nothing, that I'm not his mother."

Malfoy let out a snort at this.

"Though, I would be careful, Malfoy. Potter is now aware that you're dating Saoirse Moore. I'd be careful, and probably break that off, assuming you haven't already."

Theodore whipped his head around, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. "You're dating Saoirse Moore?!"

"No!" Malfoy cried. "Of course not! Why would you think I was dating that mudblood?"

This time, she didn't flinch at the word, but she could feel Henry's eyes on her. "Uh, because of Valentine's Day? You were sneaking off with her into the Shrieking Shack."

"You were with a muggleborn on Valentine's Day?" Henry said to Malfoy in a teasing tone.

"It isn't what it sounds like! Fuck! Crouch, you're so insufferable!" He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair, that looked as though it hadn't seen a comb in weeks.

"The feeling is mutual, believe me." She rolled her eyes. "If you aren't secretly dating Saoirse, then why were you with her?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Crouch. But it has nothing, nothing to do with dating. I'm not you, I'm not a filthy blood traitor."

"The blood traitor stuff was already old when we were eleven, Malfoy. I can't believe you still think like that." She scoffed. "Whatever, honestly, I don't care. But Potter thinks you two are dating, so you best warn her about it, if you think it's worth her knowing, at least."

"I can't fucking believe you told Potter I was dating a mudblood."

"Whatever, Malfoy. Honestly, it's pathetic you still care so much about your reputation, considering what you have to do." She turned to Henry, eyebrows raised. "This party was a bust. Fancy going back to the common room?"

He lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. "Whatever you want."

Giving Malfoy one last glare, they walked away, leaving him and Theodore standing there.

*

"What do your reckon Theodore and Malfoy's plans are?" Henry asked. The two were seated on the furthest couch in the Ravenclaw common room, which, other than them, remained entirely unoccupied. Cass had her nose in a book, and looked up at his words.

"Whatever they are, I hope it's Theodore that's carrying them out. We both saw what happened when Malfoy attempted to...go through with his plan." Even though they were alone, it was always best to speak as vaguely as possible. The walls of Hogwarts had ears, and one could never know who was listening. "They have the rest of the school year. I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"Why not? Cass, I'm losing my mind over it, and it isn't even my task. I mean, fuck, if they fail...well, we saw what happened to Ana and Connor."

All the hair on her neck stood up at the mention of her two dead friends. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, isn't it obvious? You-Know-Who punishes us by hurting those we're close to. For Connor, it was because you ran away, though I suppose that was more of your brother's doing. Ana, it was because Malfoy failed at his task, and because the Malfoy manor was raided, meaning someone let something slip."

Cass shook her head, though as she spoke, she found she didn't believe the words escaping through her lips. The idea that it could've been one of their faults...that was unthinkable. "No. They went after Sai Patil, not Ana. She was a casualty, that's all. They wanted him because he took over Lucius Malfoy's position in the Ministry."

"Don't you see? That's what they want you to think! To the rest of the world, it was an accident, but to us, it was targeted, intentional. They could've killed Sai anywhere else, anytime else, but they somehow knew Ana would be going with the twins to the Patil's house, and killed them then. They knew, Cass!"

All the blood drained from her face. "Are you....are you implying what I think you are?"

He nodded gravely. "Someone is giving our information to the Death Eaters. We have a traitor."