musical mood: crown - seulgi

Cass's sixteenth birthday fell on a Saturday that year. Apparently, sixteen was a big year for most people, though Cass was just praying that nothing horrible would happen on that day, and considering her luck when it came to birthdays, an abundance of prayers into the void certainly couldn't hurt anything. Between being poisoned in her first year, and having her father's severed finger sent to her in her fourth, she could only hope she'd survive this round of February 27th.

She was sitting with the Gryffindors during lunch, as usual, listening to George argue with Lee Jordan about something Quidditch related, when an owl swooped down with a letter attached to its feet and landed in front of her, squawking and attempting to bite her.

"What the hell..." She murmured, mostly to herself, as a pool of dread filled her stomach. Last time she'd received something in the mail, it had been someone pretending to be her brother, and nearly sent her into an episode, which she had been successfully avoiding for months now. It had been ages since she'd last hallucinated Barty, and if something triggered another episode, she didn't know what she'd do.

You're better now. She told herself firmly as her trembling hands reached out for the letter, ripping open the envelope. Even if it's a prank, nothing will happen, because you're better. You're happy. You're okay.

But it wasn't another replica hat, or threatening note, but simply a letter. Though after reading it, she thought she might've preferred the hallucinations.

Dear Cass,

Hi. It's Connor. Well you could probably tell by the shit handwriting, but...yeah. I finally figured out how to use Saoirse's owl a month or so ago, and today I thought I should write to you and wish you a happy birthday.

So...happy birthday. Sixteen is a big year, right? Or is it not for magic people? It isn't like you need to drive or anything...huh.

Anyways. I'm sorry again about what happened that night at the diner. I was drunk out of my mind. I didn't mean what I said to you. I miss you. I still think about our night together Write back soon?

Happy birthday again.

Love From,

Connor

"What's that?" George leaned over, peering over her shoulder as she folded the letter in half, setting in down in front of her.

"See for yourself." She slid it over to him, and he picked it up, opening the letter and examining it. A frown formed on his freckled face, and when he was finished, he stared at her with wide eyes.

"Did he actually just say he still thinks about your night together?"

"He did a shit job scribbling it out, that's for sure." She shrugged, biting down on the side of her mouth. "I can't believe he'd write to me. I thought he made it clear how he felt at that diner."

"Are you going to write back?"

She shook her head. "I have nothing to say to him."

"Good." He smiled, and she smiled back at him, though it was very much forced.

She was about to change the subject, to what, she didn't know, but was cut off by a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"Hello, Cass. Hello George." Ana greeted, giving them a tiny wave.

"Hey Ana." Cass frowned. "Er, is everything okay?"

"Of course. Er, I was told to come and let you know, there's a party happening in the Ravenclaw common room later today. For your birthday."

"For my birthday." She repeated, blinking in confusion. "Why would you lot have a party for my birthday? I haven't really talked to you in like...a while."

Ana shrugged. "It was Naia's idea. I reckon she misses you. Feels bad, about kicking you out."

"Yeah, Bethany said as much..." She pressed her lips together in a thin line, contemplating. She didn't want to have bad blood with her ex-dormmates, especially because she'd have to return to her dorm after George and Fred graduated, but she also didn't fancy returning to the people who had so easily cast her out, Naia and Padma especially. While she'd created a friendship with Bethany, and held nothing against Ana and Luna, she didn't think she could push past what had been done to her by the other two so easily. Not when they had been her friends, not when she had trusted them. "I'm good. I have a lot of studying to do. You know, OWLs and whatnot. Have a nice party, though."

"But it's your party. You have to go to your own party. Otherwise, it's just a stupid gathering for no reason." Ana insisted.

"No offence, Ana, but I don't have to do anything." Cass snapped, perhaps the first time she'd ever so much as been annoyed with the redhead girl. She instantly regretted her tone of voice when Ana flinched, her green eyes widening ever so slightly. She certainly wasn't used to anyone being mean to her. "Sorry. I just...don't really fancy going, that's all."

"Come on, Cass, Naia and Padma are really sorry. It's been months, why can't you let it go?"

"I don't know, Ana, maybe because they thought I'd hurt you guys because of what happened with my brother? I've had a lifetime of being judged because of him, and I never expected it from my best friends."

"It was because of the creepy book, actually, not because of last year." Ana bit down on her lip. "And they know you'd never allow any of us to get hurt. Emotions were just high, at the time. Especially with what was going on with the Burke sisters."

"When isn't there something going on with those girls?" Cass rolled her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips.

She turned to look at George, who was nodding in agreement. "I don't want to face your girlfriend wrath by disagreeing with you, but I think you should go to the party."

"Girlfriend wrath?"

"Oh yes, all women have it. The girlfriend is always right, that's the rule." George said, his tone entirely serious. "But at risk of facing your girlfriend wrath, I think it might be good for you."

"Thank you, George." Ana smiled at him, her typical Ana smile. "Come on, Cass. Please?"

As usual, it was hard to say no to Ana.

*

Cass demanded that George come with her to the party, downright refusing to go alone. She didn't think she could handle dealing with her former friends without her trusty boyfriend at her side, supporting her through what could certainly turn out to be hell on earth.

"You look lovely." George murmured into her ear, only just loud enough for her to hear, as they entered the Ravenclaw common room.

"Thank you." She smiled at him. She was in her typical uniforms, but she'd actually styled her hair for the first time since the dreadful Yule Ball, trying to make a decent impression. She hadn't stepped foot inside the common room in months, and a nervous knot had formed in her stomach, that only tightened when she made eye contact with Terry Boot.

He gave her a tiny wave, walking up to her with a drink in hand. "Hey, Cass, George."

"Hey." She gave him a tiny, forced grin. She hadn't spoken to Terry all year, knowing only a little bit about how he felt about her, which was negative, last she heard. Maybe his opinion had changed since, but it made her uneasy nevertheless.

"Er...happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"Drinks are over by Henry if you want some. Butterbeer and firewhiskey. I think he might've brought Dragon Shots too, I'm not certain."

She most certainly needed a drink.

As she approached him, George trailing behind her, she frowned to herself, wondering what Henry was even doing there. Their last interaction still lingered in her mind, he had seemed so...afraid. Whatever it was he had so desperately needed to tell her was important, she could tell that much.

"Hey, Henry." She approached him.

"Cass. George." He nodded, handing her a drink, though he avoided meeting her eye as he did. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you." She grabbed the firewhiskey, pressing the bottle to her lips and taking a sip of the burning drink.

"I heard you have dragon shots." George said, looking at Henry eagerly.

"Er, yeah, we do. Well, I don't, Anthony is passing them out. He's over there." He pointed across the room to Anthony Goldstein, who was chatting away with Cho Chang.

Cass immediately tore her gaze away from the girl, a horrible pit forming in her stomach. She'd done such a good job in the past few months not thinking about Cedric, she didn't want to start now. Not on what was supposed to be a happy day for her.

"Thanks, mate." He clapped a hand on Henry's shoulder, who flinched ever so slightly at the contact. "Be right back, Cassie." And with a wink, George was off, making his way towards Anthony, and leaving Cass and Henry alone.

"What was it you wanted to tell me? On Valentine's Day?" Cass asked the moment George left, not wanting to beat around the bush any longer.

Henry shook his head, his long hair flying about as he did. "Doesn't matter."

"It clearly did."

His eyes flickered around the room, his expression darkening, before he spoke, his voice low as if worried he'd be overheard. "I'll meet you in the library tonight, yeah? At eleven. Alone. No Weasley."

"Why can't George come?" She raised her eyebrows.

"He just can't, okay? I won't meet you unless you come alone."

Cass bit down on her lip, glancing over at George, who had begun a conversation with Michael Corner. For Merlin's sake, how was George so bloody popular?

"Fine. I'll meet you then. But no funny business."

"Of course." Henry gave her a small smile, that she didn't return.

"Cass!" A voice cried out, and she tore her eyes away from Henry, to be face to face with Lavender Brown. She hadn't spoken to Lavender in ages, it felt odd, suddenly being so close to her. Her curly blonde hair had grown significantly in the past few months, and she wondered if she'd done a spell on it.

Before she could say anything, Lavender's arms were wrapped tight around her, squeezing her in a hug. "I've missed you so much."

"Er...I've missed you too." She forced a smile as Lavender let go of her, her blue eyes looking her up and down, as if inspecting her.

"You've lost too much weight." Lavender concluded after several long moments. "And your hair is really messy. I ought to fix you up. Give you a proper makeover."

"Er...you don't have to do that."

"Nonsense." She waved a dismissive hand. "It'll be my birthday gift to you. Now go eat some cake, Merlin knows you could use it."

Cass blinked rapidly, unsure what to make of that conversation. As Lavender practically skipped away, back to where she had been with Parvati, Cass took another sip of her firewhiskey, allowing the burning sensation to consume her, to fill her entire body.

"You look like hell."

"Thanks?" She frowned, turning her attention to Naia, who was now standing next to her, nursing her own bottle of firewhiskey.

"Sorry. That came out wrong. I just meant...you don't look well."

"I'm better than I've been in months, Naia."

"Why, because you're dating George?"

"Yeah." Duh?

"Are you sure a relationship is what you need right now?"

"What the fuck?"

"What?"

"You kick me out of my dorms, basically exile me as your friend, and now you think, after months, you can just come up to me and give me unsolicited advice on my relationship?"

"I just meant, if you're not stable, you shouldn't be in a relationship. You might get to rely on it too much for happiness, and if it goes away, you'll be right back where you were before."

"It won't go away. We're serious, George and I." Cass insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. "And I'm not some co-dependent girlfriend. I've worked hard to get where I'm at, and I don't need your pretend concern."

"It isn't pretend." Naia pursed her lips together. "Cass, I'm sorry about what happened. You know I am. Bethany, she just got into Padma and I's heads. We saw sense pretty shortly after, but we figured you hated us."

"I did."

Naia paled, and for the first time, Cass felt a twinge of sympathy.

"Well, not hate. I didn't hate you, I don't think I ever could. But...I was upset. I am upset."

"You've seemingly forgiven Beth. Why not Padma and I?"

"Because you two were my friends. I didn't care what Bethany thought of me, or said to me or about me. But you two..." She trailed off, afraid that if she continued to talk, she might burst into tears.

Naia inhaled sharpy. "I still am your friend, Cass. I'll always be your friend, if you want me to be."

A long pause fell between the two.

"We'll see." Cass eventually said, finishing off her firewhiskey, and moving to find Henry and get another one, abandoning Naia where she stood. She ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach, ignored the urge to run back to her, to swear to be her best friend for the rest of her life, to ask to start over. She ignored the nagging voice in her mind, saying that what Naia had told her was true, that she shouldn't be in a relationship while she was still healing, recovering. That she'd grown to be too relied on it, on George. She ignored it all, deciding to drown all her thoughts and feelings in alcohol.

*

The party was somehow still going when Cass slid out of the common room at a quarter to eleven, telling George and the others nearby that she had to use the loo, and instead making her way to the library. She was sure to keep her footsteps quiet, to prevent anyone from finding them.

She wasn't drunk, but certainly tipsy, and it proved to be a very difficult task, keeping quiet as she made her way through the hallway and to the library, but she managed.

Henry wasn't anywhere to be seen, but she was a few minutes early, so she didn't let that bother her, as she took a seat at a table near the back of the room, kicking her feet up on the chair across from her, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

She wore a watch, something she'd been given from her father several years ago, on one of the days he actually remembered her birthday, and checked it frequently, watching the large hand move around and around the tiny clock. Waiting.

It was nearing 11:30, and Cass was just about to get up and leave, when she spotted Henry making his way towards her, his head down and his black hair hanging in front of his face. As he grew closer, Cass let out a gasp before she could stop herself - he looked like hell. It had been only a few hours since she'd last seen him, at her birthday party, but clearly something had happened between then and now, because his eyes were rimmed red from what she assumed was crying, and his tan skin had gone pale. He was trembling from head to toe, and she instinctively stood up and ran up to him, grabbing his hands.

"What's wrong? What's happened to you?"

"Everything." He said simply, and she frowned.

"Henry, talk to me. Please tell me what's going on. You've had me worried sick."

Neither of them said anything for a long moment.

"Can you keep a secret?" He eventually broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course I can." Her brown eyes met his, and he immediately tore his gaze away.

"It's....I'm in love with you. I've loved you since you saved me from my dad that summer."

She blinked, caught completely off guard, as her heart sunk to the floor. "You've been avoiding me all year because you're in love with me?"

"Well, no." He admitted, shaking his head, still refusing to meet her eye. "That's something else. But I figured...I figured you ought to know, before I tell you what's going on. Because you'll hate me afterwards."

"I could never hate you, Henry. You know how I feel about you."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. You know I care about you. As a friend."

"Then why did you snog me, last year?"

She bit down on her tongue, staring down at her shoes as shame built up in her. This certainly wasn't the conversation she had been expecting to have when they'd agreed to meet. "I don't know. I was drunk, and sad. I was being selfish. What does it matter?"

"It doesn't. I just...I don't know. I'm sorry, Cass."

"It's fine."

"I'm sorry I've been avoiding you."

She ran a hand through her hair, growing exasperated. "Can you please just let me know what's going on? Please? This back and forth is driving me bloody mad."

"Of course." Henry gulped, and for the first time, he looked down and met her eye. "Well, you know how I had to go back home for the summer?"

She nodded, pressing her lips together. She sure hoped this wasn't going where she thought it was, that John Nott hadn't hurt him more. If he had, she might run away from Hogwarts, go to the Nott manor and murder him where he stood.

"My father...he's directly involved with the Death Eaters. I found this out when I returned, that Potter wasn't lying and You-Know-Who is back...because he's been living in our house. He knows...he knows about Theodore and Ana. I think he can read minds, because I can't for the life of me figure out how he would've found out. But he threatened Ana, and a few other people we care about, said if we don't keep his secrets, he'll kill them. His death eaters have been living with us too, high ranking ones, ones you ought to know about. Like the ones that broke out of Azkaban, for example."

"Why are you telling me this?" Cass blinked, trying to absorb every bit of detail. It was horrible, downright horrible, the pressure Henry must've been under, but she couldn't understand what any of it had to do with her in particular. She had no connection to You-Know-Who, after all.

"I discovered something, in a book in our library, about how You-Know-Who must've survived all these years. It's called Blood Magic. It keeps people alive...with, well, Blood Magic. And when I asked about it, they told me, they explained everything. I don't know why, it isn't like they had to tell me anything, but they did."

"I know about Blood Magic." It had been a long time since she'd read Quirrell's book, but the memories of the contents stuck to her like glue.

"You do?" Henry paused, clearly shocked by this. "Well...then you certainly want to know this."

She nodded, urging him to continue, and he did.

"With Blood Magic, if you're Bound to someone, it makes you essentially immune to dementors. And a man, he survived a dementor attack, and has been staying with us since last year, since Diggory was killed."

Cass's breath caught in her throat.

"No..."

Henry looked even more scared than she felt, as he continued to speak, sounding one misstep away from bursting into tears. "Cass...your brother is alive."