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Trigger warning for blood and abuse!

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Previously . . .

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       I left his HQ, the door making a bang sound behind me. I suddenly felt my face getting wet. It took me a moment to realize that tears were freefalling down my face.

       But I couldn't help it.

       Valt really was with the Snake Pit now.

       And it was all my fault.

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PoV: Shu Kurenai

       I walked into my training room where Hyuga was sleeping. I smiled, before sitting beside Hyuga, then placed his head on my lap. He snuggled comfortably. Suddenly, my vision started getting blurry. A flashback, I barely had time to think, before I blacked out.

Flashback

       My head snapped back with a sickening crack. I panted, trying not to cry, blood dripping from my split lip and the gash in my cheekbone.

       My stepfather moved in front of me, cocking his meaty fist back.

       I let out a muffled cry as the fist slammed into my chest. I heard a crack and groaned internally. Great. Broken ribs. Again.

       I had been a punching bag before, but this . . . this was taking it to a whole new level. We were in the basement of the apartment building, a room that my stepfather actually owned but only used for beating up his stepson, aka me. He had chained me up to the ceiling and was now practicing some stereotypical boxing moves on me. I am now a literal human punching bag. Whoopee.

        Sometimes, I surprised myself with my internal cynicism.

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       The kitchen knife was half inside the man's chest, blood-soaked on the man's shirt.

       I had stabbed him.

       I had killed him.

       My step-dad, who I call 'foetida puer', was part of a gang. They would rob. Muggle. And sometimes . . . kill. They also got me to do their dirty work sometimes. They'd threaten me. I was small so I wasn't strong. I had no other choice but to listen to them. They would make the person weak and then force me to stab the person in the heart.

       Now, foetida puer was getting me to kill another woman.

       Another mother.

       But I won't.

       "Ya tryna' play smart, huh? Well, we've got other surprises." He smirked as he bought out three toddlers, crying for their mother.

       Then it hit me like a sack of bricks.

       The lady that foetida puer wanted me to kill was their mother.

       He wanted me to kill the lady, or he would kill the toddlers.

       He smirked, knowing that I found out what he wanted.

       What do I do?

       The mother or the toddlers?

       The mother or the toddlers?

       The mother or the toddlers?

       The mother or the toddlers?

       The mother or th-

       Then a sharp knife went through the woman's abdomen.

       I stabbed her.

       I killed her.

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       I leaned on the wall and slid down to the floor, legs too weak for support. Grabbing a razor beside the nightstand, I pressed it against my skin. I deserved pain. Torture.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       It didn't even hurt anymore. By now, blood looked beautiful to me, whether it was someone else's, or mine.

       I couldn't protect my siblings.

       My step-parents killed them.

       Because I didn't listen to them.

       I was useless.

       I was weak.

       I was an idiot.

       I was a brat.

       I was a freak.

       I was annoying.

       I was a jerk.

       I was selfish.

       I was arrogant.

       I was cruel.

       I was ignorant.

       I was a monster.

       No one cared for me.

       No one has cared for me.

       No one will care for me.

       Xander and Valt probably never liked me, they just talked nicely with me so that I wouldn't bother.

       I don't even blame them.

       That's what I was.

       That's what I am.

       That's what I will be.

       A waste of space.

       I kept cutting, till I found myself blacking out.

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       I woke up with a start, only to find Hyuga on my lap. I felt something free-falling down my face.

       It took me a second to realize they were tears.

       I slowly placed Hyuga in such a way he didn't wake up, before quietly and quickly running off into the bathroom. I wiped the tears off.

       "Crybaby! You aren't supposed to cry! You're a big boy now! What am I talking about!? You'll always be a crybaby! You waste of space!" my step-mothers' voice echoed in my head, along with other voices, that were also screaming insults.

       Two of them were Valt and Xander.

       That's when I lost it.

      I always carried a pocket knife.

       My hand wandered into my pocket, and - ah - there it was!

       Slowly, I pressed the knifes' sharp blade against my skin, and-

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

       Slice.

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This was actually quite easy to write- Angsty stuff is easier to write :| Uh so- How was this chapter? I think it's unoriginal-
Anygays-
Till next time!
-Ash

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Rounded off word count: 810