Chapter twenty: not edited

[ HERE IS THE FIRST CHAPTER TO PART TWO OF THE BOOK. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY IT. PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.]

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Simpler times.

He remembered a time when his life was simple. When it was left open to many possibilities and routes that he could take. He often reminded himself of what Jessica had said to him before she left his life for good━ take risks, don't let anything stand in your way. But how can he do that when he was strapped to a moving hospital bed falling in and out of conscious.

It was like his body was trying to fight the last fight. It was like he was holding on for dear life in attempt to make every fighting minute worth it. Yet, he knew there was nothing he could do now. He knew it was out of his element and that it was in whoever's hands now. Whoever was holding onto his life, he wanted to go. He wanted to see his sister again, even his parents.

He could feel doctors and nurses around him as he was placed into a helicopter to take him to some kind of hospital. But, he didn't want to go. His fight was over. All he wanted to do was go to the other side and see his family again━ to tell them that it was his fault that he was the one that got them all killed.

Of course he didn't want to go to a better place if his family was just going to look at him with horror and disgust. As many times as he told himself that he didn't deserve to feel peace that he didn't deserve to be loved, he knew deep down that wasn't true. Everyone deserved some kind of reward for putting up with life and the many horrors that happen during it.

As soon as he got to the hospital he felt his body growing weaker and weaker by the minute until he found himself standing on the side of his hospital bed with confusion written on his face. When he saw his body stretched on the bed, the confusion soon turned into something like comfort or maybe even peace. Was this a sign showing he deserved to go to a better place?

Did he deserve it?

Probably not.

But that doesn't mean he won't fight even in the afterlife. If he learned something from being on the road with Sam and Dean is that everyone deserves a fighting chance. Even when it's looked down upon everyone else around them. So with those words in his mind, he closed his eyes to let himself find peace in the great beyond.

But, nothing happened.

He was still standing there, still looking down at his body. He knew he wasn't dreaming━ but, something was happening. He knew he needed help. But, how was he supposed to find him help when he didn't know how to help himself? With every ounce in his fiber, the blonde walked out of his hospital room with one last lingering look at his body in attempt to find the answers he needed.

Walking down the thin hallway didn't seem bizarre or out of the ordinary to him because it just felt natural. He didn't even flinch when doctors and nurses walked past him without giving him a small glance. It was like he was invisible to everyone and he didn't know if he should be grateful or afraid for that.

Being invisible was something he wanted when he was younger. But knowing what he knows now, he would be definitely against it. Who knows what kind of hideous creature walked the halls as a spirit and he most definitely didn't want to find out.

As soon as he walked around the corner something fast zoomed past him. He didn't get a good look at it nor did he feel the pressure of someone walking through his body— but when he finally came through, he saw a clueless Dean Winchester in front of him.

He blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating because it seemed like the eldest Winchester brother was staring at him, almost like he was a spirit as well. But how could that be? How was Dean like him?

"Can you see me?" He found himself rushing out those words in a hush tone of voice.

"Unfortunately."

Narrowing his eyes, the blonde sent him a nasty look. "You mean unfortunately for me. Not only do I have to deal with you in real life but in the other side as well-"

"Okay, can we talk about this later? I really don't feel like hearing your voice right now."

The eldest Moore saw the look on Dean's face and somehow he knew the man was afraid. But what could possibly scare the big bad Dean Winchester? He thought nothing could scare him.

Yet, his thoughts went back to the thing that zoomed past him before Dean had showed up and it clicked. Maybe that's what is scaring Dean. Maybe that's the answer to his problems. Maybe it'll help him to a better place.

Dean must have saw the look on his face because he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not saying this because I care, but you look like you've seen a ghost."

At the sound of Dean's voice and comment, the blonde snapped out of it. "The only ghost I've seen is you unfortunately. So please poof away to your own corner and leave me the hell alone."

"Touché."

Watching Dean walk away gave him some kind of satisfaction. He didn't know why it felt good to stick up for himself. He wasn't the type for conflict or causing turmoil— but at the sight of the eldest Winchester always made his blood boil.

As soon as Dean Winchester was out of sight, the blonde made his way back to his hospital room only to stop when he saw the familiar figure of Sam standing outside of his room— making Rory feel some kind of emotion that he hasn't had in a long time.

A sigh of relief came out of his mouth when he saw that the youngest Winchester was okay. He looked beaten up but the blonde knew he'll survive. He was a survivor and thats what made Rory Moore admired him the most.

But as soon as he saw tears forming in the brunette's eyes he stopped in his place with a frown on his face. Why was Sam crying? What was wrong? Was this effecting him badly as it did himself?

"Rory, I don't even know if you can hear me or if you really care, but I'm going to say this anyways. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I brought you into this life. I'm sorry that I got your sister killed. I'm sorry that your strapped to a hospital bed hanging in the balance."

The blonde watched as Sam wiped a tear off his face.

"The thing is, I need you. I need to hear your voice again. I need you to remind me that it's okay to not be okay. I need you here to let me know that everything is okay. I can't do this without you, man."

The blonde was lost for words. It was like someone took his voice box out of his throat and hid it. He had no clue how he was going to respond to that. How could he? He never heard Sam like that. He never knew how much Sam actually cared about him.

Swallowing hard, he was about to respond— knowing that Sam couldn't hear him when a loud scream was heard from somewhere in the hospital. It sounded like a girl, a girl in distress.

Running out of the room and past the doctors and nurses, he finally came to a large opening where he saw a girl talking to Dean. Annoyed that Dean got there first, the blonde sucked up the courage and made his way over there to hear what was going on.

"Am I dead?" The girl looked beyond horrified and Rory couldn't blame her for feeling that way because he was in the same position as he and Dean was. But, that wouldn't make her any less terrified.

"That sort of depends."

Tessa, who Rory just found out what her name was, led them down different hallways and corners. When they arrived to the room that Tessa's body was in, the three of them stopped and stared at the scene that was playing out in front of their eyes. They watched as the person in the room held her hand and how the empty corpse reacted to tubes and machines being hooked onto her.

The blonde couldn't but feel sympathetic for Tessa. Standing here in front of her own body must be difficult to watch. Especially if you don't have all the answers. But, both Rory and Dean didn't move. They didn't want to move because no matter how bad it gets, they wanted be here for the girl during this dark time.

Tessa stared at her body in sadness as she watched several doctors and nurses walk into the room and out. "I don't understand. I just came in for an appendectomy."

"Well, I hate to bear bad news, but I think there were some complications."

"Can you at least try to be sympathetic? She's going through a lot and sometimes the truth can be a little too much."

"Would you rather me lie?" The eldest Winchester snapped, glaring harshly at the blonde. "The faster she understands, the faster she can snap out of it."

Rory knew that Dean was right. He knew that the faster they find the problem, the faster they can move on with their life. But, what if the blonde didn't want to go back? What if he wanted to go and find some peace for once? He desperately wanted to feel that feeling for once, like hope. He wanted to see his family again.

"It's just a dream, that's all. It's just a very weird, unbelievably vivid dream." Tessa placed her hand over her eyes in attempt to make sense on what was going on.

Dean shook his head with a grimace. "Tessa. It's not a dream."

"Even though I wish it was so I can walk away from this conversation."

Tessa removed her hands from her face and gave Dean a confused look, not even sparing the blonde a glance because of his previous comment. "Then what else could it be?"

"You ever heard of an out of body experience?"

"Oh god. This is definitely not going to end well."

"Can you cut it out with the annoying comments?"

"Your an annoying comment."

"Anyways, it's actually a very old idea. Got a lot of different names: Bilocation, crisis apparition, fetches... I think it's happening to us. And if it is, it means that we're spirits of people close to death." Dean continued his explanation when Tessa gave them a look between confusion and nervous.

"So we're going to die?"

"No. Not if we hold on. Our bodies can get better, we can snap right back in there and wake up."

The blonde could see right through Dean and know that he wanted to rejoin the fight. The fight that is currently going on at this moment. The fight that was ending up in a huge war were casualties would be on either side. No one cared about the demons dying, only for the people who are being possessed by them.

Casually walking behind Tessa and Dean, the blonde kept his distance, not wanting his over eagered comments to offend the girl or make the eldest Winchester mad. From the time he has spent with Dean is when he realized that making him angry is the worst possible outcome he can do. Well, in some cases, Rory just loves to aggravate Dean, but now is the not right time.

"I gotta say, I'm impressed."

"With what?"

"With you. Most people in your spot would be jello right now, but uh, you're taking this pretty well. Maybe a little better than me."

"What about me? I am definitely not taking this well." He raised his hand when Dean barely looked over his shoulder at him, causing the blonde to stick out his tongue.

"Don't get me wrong. I was pretty freaked at first. But now, I don't know. Maybe I'm dealing." Tessa replied to Dean's statement.

"So you're okay with dying?"

At the sound of those words, Rory couldn't help but cast his eyes at his shoes. Was he okay with dying? Was he okay leaving Sam behind to the evil of the worlds? In some ways he knew that the youngest Winchester would be fine without him. He had his Dad and brother to look out for him. Did Sam really need him? Even though Sam proclaimed that he did back in the blonde's hospital room, but did he really mean it?

As he continued to walk behind Tessa, he never noticed the look that she gave him. Maybe then he'll realize that she was the one hunting them. Maybe then he'll realize that this is out of his control. Maybe then he'll realize this is the end of his story.

➼

As soon as the blonde parted ways from Dean and Tessa, the blonde went back to his room in attempt to make sense of everything that was happening to him. But, he wasn't thinking about what was happening now, but of the things that happened in the past. From the death of his parents, losing his only sibling and now he's part of an upcoming war with demons and hunters, what else could go wrong?

He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve all these bad things that were happening to him. He didn't deserve to lose his parents. He definitely didn't deserve to lose Jessica because of some power hungry demon. Yes, he knew that he wasn't alone in this. He knew he had Sam and Dean to help him along this dark journey. But that didn't make him feel better since one of them didn't want him there anymore apparently.

He pondered for a moment. A long moment. Was he okay with dying? Was he okay with going to the other side? Even if he didn't have all the answers? As time went and came, he realized that maybe no one has all the answers. Maybe that's what death meant. Maybe that's what is making him want to creep towards the light because maybe, just maybe it'll be another adventure for him.

He could feel someone examining him from the entrance of his room. He could feel their eyes peeling off his skin. He knew it wasn't Dean because of how he felt. His hair on the back of his neck stood up when he turned to see Tessa staring at him with no emotion in her eyes. But, that's not the scariest part. The scariest part was how she was looking at him. She seemed to know what she was doing and that terrified him.

"Tessa." The blonde replied curtly, not liking how she was in his presence. It wasn't her fault but something deep down told him that he shouldn't trust her or her judgmental eyes.

"You shouldn't be afraid."

"Excuse me?"

"Death."

"Can you be more specific?"

Tessa maneuvered her way into the room without a care in the world. "You shouldn't be afraid of dying."

"I am not." The blonde moved his eyes from Tessa to the floor, shuffling his shoes in the process. "I am just scared of the unknown, you know? I am afraid if I welcome death I wouldn't like the end result."

She tilted her head to the side, like she was examining his every move. "You don't know. You may enjoy it."

"Enjoy what?" His eyes quickly left his shoes and met the girl's, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Being at peace."

The blonde couldn't move a muscle or even raise a finger to disagree with her. It was like Tessa could read every word in his mind and that made him stand there like a statue. She couldn't be right. He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to think about anything else. Did he really deserve it? Being at peace? After everything he had done?

"It'll bring you comfort."

He felt his eyes getting watery as the words sunk into the back of his mind. Tessa was right, he did deserve to be at peace. But the more he thought about it the more willing he was ready to let go. He didn't know how to respond until suddenly his room spun in circles and he realized that he was being moved into another one.

"What the-"

"Rory, I can help you find peace."

He wiped a tear off his cheek.

"I can reunite you with your sister.. even your parents."

He was really hooked now. He knew Tessa wasn't lying. Why would she? But then something crept into the back of his mind. How can she lead him into peace? She was only human. Unless, she wasn't and that simple thought made him turn around and stare emptily at Tessa who didn't even blink while she looked back.

"You aren't human, are you?"

As those words left his mouth he noticed Dean Winchester standing at the entrance, glaring daggers at Tessa, who didn't seemed fazed by his look. Watching the older boy waltz into the empty room, the blonde couldn't help but look away when the eldest Winchester brother turned his look on him, only for him to bring his attention back to the girl in the room.

"Hi, Dean." She spoke softly.

"You know, you read the most interesting things. For example, did you know that reapers can alter human perception? I sure didn't." Dean's voice was laced with venom and Rory couldn't be flinch when he continued on his rant. "Basically they can make themselves appear however they want. Like, say, uh, a pretty girl. You are much prettier than the last reaper I met."

Tessa placed her lips into a thin line. "I was wondering when you would figure it out." She moved her eyes to the blonde who was frozen in his spot. "Rory had figured it out from the get go. He was just afraid to admit it."

Dean's face turned into confusion but he didn't voice it out loud. His full attention was on the Reaper that was sitting on his bed. "I should have known. That whole "accepting fate" rap of yours is far too laid back for a dead chick. But the mother, and the body, I'm still trying to figure that one out."

"It's my sandbox, I can make you see whatever I want."

Even though the blonde was in no state to move, his eyes couldn't help but widen at the new information she had revealed. So this was Tessa's doing. She made him think that he was ready to go the other side. She wanted him to go because it was her job. But, then his thoughts began to turn for the worst. Maybe this was a sign that Rory Moore needed to go. He absolutely craved it.

His thoughts were consumed with so much negativity that he didn't even hear Dean's next response. He didn't even care about having no attention on him. He could careless about it. He just wanted to go. He wanted to find peace for once. Yet, something in the back of his mind was screaming, screaming for him not to go.

"Okay, fine. We're talking. What the hell do you want to talk about?"

Dean's voice made him almost snap his neck at how fast he turned to look at the older boy. From what the blonde could tell from afar, he was angry. More angry in his life but it also showed fear. Fear of what? The unknown? He couldn't place why Dean was feeling this way. Maybe he thought he didn't deserve peace either? But everyone deserves some kind of peace. Even if it's Dean Winchester.

"How death is nothing to fear." Tessa touched Dean's cheek in attempt to help his rushing mind. "It's your time to go, Dean. And you're living on borrowed time already."

The eldest Moore watched as Dean smacked her hand away and moved over to the edge of the room just to stare at a dark window. The blonde's heart broke for Dean. To be honest, he was even surprised. Surprised to even think that. Dean and him weren't exactly friends.

"Look, I'm sure you've heard this before, but... you've gotta make an exception, you've gotta cut me a break."

The blonde wished he could say something, anything for that matter. He wanted to give Dean some kind of hope that maybe finding peace wasn't a bad thing. Everyone deserves to find a bit of happiness whether it's from dying or finding a place of comfort. But for Rory's sake it was dying.

"Stage three: bargaining."

"I'm serious. My family's in danger. See, we're kind of in the middle of this, um, war, and they need me."

Tessa didn't even blink when the next words left her mouth. "The fight's over. Why can't you understand that?" She moved her eyes to the blonde. "Rory has came to terms with it."

Rory watched as Dean turned around with a confused look to look at them both. "What?" When both of them didn't answer, he grew frustrated. "Is there something you'll like to share with the class?"

"I'm just tired." The blonde spoke in a broken tone. "I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of losing the people I love-"

All of sudden he was slammed to the hospital wall with a furious Dean glaring daggers at him. "Do you think your the only one who is tired of losing people? My life is the definition of losing people that I love. But that doesn't mean I'll check out because of it!"

He pressed the blonde further into the wall.

"How could you think about this? Now?! If you haven't noticed my brother cares about you a lot and losing you would break him. He already lost Jessica. He can't lose you too."

The blonde felt tears welling in his eyes, something that he was used to nowadays. He couldn't help but let them out as his bottom lip quivered at the thought of disappointing Sam. He knew Sam needed him. Hell, even the world needs him. But, Rory couldn't see it. He really couldn't.

Dean's grip didn't loosen as the next words left his mouth. "So do us all a favor and suck it up because that's how life is. Some days you may get hit with a freight train but others the sun will be shining reminding us of the fight that we have left inside of us. All I am saying is, don't give up."

When he felt Dean's hands leave his shirt he couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Don't get him wrong he didn't mind being yelled at but when it's someone like Dean Winchester he couldn't help but flinch. Someone like Dean is hard to deal with since he's the definition of complicated.

Rory wiped some of the tears that were currently falling down his cheek as the words that left Dean's mouth finally clicked in his mind. The blonde realized that Dean was right. He needed to keep his chin up and keep fighting the fight. Yes, some days will be hard but that's the point. Life is the definition of hard but he won't let that define him anymore.

"You." Dean pointed an accused finger at the reaper in front of him. "You're the reason why he's thinking like this. So what gives?"

"The only thing I did was help connect the pieces. You can't blame a girl for trying to help someone who is losing hope."

"Help? The only thing your doing is making the situation worse. Does he look fine to you?" Dean continued on his rant as he motioned to the stunned blonde who was still leaning against the wall for support.

Tessa shook her head. "Your fight is over Dean. I don't understand why you won't realize that."

"It isn't for me."

"My brother. He could die without me."

At the sound of that, the blonde recoiled as hard as he could. He couldn't help but feel the fear as it crept in his veins at the thought of losing Sam. If Dean and him went to find peace, who knows what kind of trouble the youngest Winchester would get himself into. Sam was stubborn and he wouldn't stop trying to bring them back, even if it kills him.

"Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Nothing you can do about it. It's an honorable death. A warrior's death."

"How can that be?" The blonde found himself questioning the very thing that made him feel okay. "How can someone die a warriors death when the fight is still going on?"

She turned her attention to him.

"Cause that's life. There's always going to be more battles and more deaths. All you have to do is enjoy the ride."

Dean grew furious at the sound of that. "Last time I checked dying isn't fun. So how can I enjoy the ride knowing my family is in danger?"

He took a small breath before continuing.

"There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is going to rot in the ground and my family is going to die! No. I'm not going with you, I don't care what you do."

"Neither am I." Rory says, pushing himself off the wall. "Cause Dean is right, Sam needs me more than ever and I am not going to let him destroy himself because I was too afraid to keep fighting."

Rory watched as Dean joined Tessa on the bed and he couldn't help but look away when she placed a soothing hand in his hair. He just couldn't bear looking at the very thing that wants to take him away from this world. He knew she was only doing her job and that she was only trying to keep the natural ordered balanced, but he wished that Tessa would be more understanding on the line of her work.

"It's time to put the pain behind you, for both of you."

"And go where?"

"Sorry. I can't give away the big punchline. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. So what's it going to be?"

All of the sudden the lights above their heads started to flicker tremendously and the temperature in the room dropped. No one knew what was going on until a large black smoke came and forced itself into the reapers mouth. The blonde didn't even realize he was standing next to Dean before he flinched when he saw the yellow eyes looking back at him.

"Today is your lucky day kids." The demon possessing Tessa said before placing hands on Rory and Dean's head, making them both black out.

The next thing he knew he was waking up.

➼

Life is funny sometimes.

Some days are better than others and some are just plain terrible. But, that's life. If no one had an ounce of pain and terror in their lives then what was the point of living at all? Pain makes people stronger mentally and it also gives them a lesson about how life really is. Yet, in Rory Moore's point of view, it showed him to dodge a bullet, meaning he tricked death and he knew this wouldn't be the last time he does.

He remembers everything. He remembers being hit by the truck and he remembers how a reaper was after Dean and him and that somehow they were brought back to life. All of this was weighing on him and he doesn't understand why he remembered everything. Was it because he was cursed? That had to be the reason. Shouldn't it be?

The blonde was sitting on the edge of the bed when someone walked into the room. Realizing who it was, he quickly got off the bed and wrapped his arms around Sam Winchester's torso, pulling him into a tight hug. He didn't let go. He didn't want to even let the boy walk out of the room because he was afraid something would happen to him.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so freaking sorry."

"About what?" Sam felt himself relaxing into the hug as the blonde kept mumbling on and on how he was sorry and that he wished life was different. "I don't understand. Where is that all coming from?"

Rory pulled back, his bottom lip on the verge to start trembling. "I didn't mean to put you through this. I know seeing me fight for dear life wasn't an ideal situation. I've put you through so much pain and I'm sorry."

He watched as Sam's forehead creased into confusion but at the sight of the blonde on the edge of having a mental breakdown, he pulled him back into a hug in attempt to make Rory feel better and to also let it get out of his system. The blonde was grateful for that. He was lucky to have someone like Sam in his life.

"I am just glad your back. I'm not sure what I'll do without you."

Shortly after Rory had calmed down to his normal self, Sam had just informed that John had asked him to get some coffee for the older man. So that's how the blonde found himself next to the youngest Winchester as they headed back to John's room only to find the older man lying on the floor not moving all.

It was like time slowed down and he didn't realize what was happening until Sam started screaming and yelling for help. He didn't even feel himself moving when he followed Sam and Dean to another room to see if the doctors could help John Winchester. He didn't even feel the pain of watching Sam crumble internally when the doctor uttered out her next words.

"I'll call it. Time of death: 10:41 am."

__________

I kind of shorten some parts in this chapter that were longer in the episode. But, I don't see an issue with it.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the heartbreak and this chapter!

Reminder, 50 votes and 40 comments for next chapter.

Question: Would you guys like to see Rory's story after S5 or stop it there? I'm having issue on where to end it.

I really want to do all the seasons but I know it's going to take me a long time to finish it. I just love writing this story.

If I do all the seasons, should I break the book up?