My eyes snap open and I sit up with a jerk. A bright light blinds me for several moments.

I blink rapidly and my eyes slowly adjust. I look around at my surroundings, starting to panic.

Where are we? I ask Ira.

Somewhere on the territory, the East side I think, she says.

You think? I growl angrily.

Yeah, I've never seen this part of the territory during the day so cut me some slack! She growls back.

I sigh in frustration, ending our argument. My eyes flit around and a sense of dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

I am surrounded by tall aspens, and dead bodies. The grass is stained with blood and red claw marks cover the white tree trunks.

I realize I am still in my wolf form, my striped black fur dripping with blood. My ears flatten against my head, shame sweeping over me as I realize the bodies belong to my prisoners. Most of them are my own pack members that were awaiting punishment. Not a single one of them deserved one so harsh as the torturing death I brought them.

I feel eyes on me and spot a dark silver wolf crouching a few yards away. His ears are pricked up and his ice blue eyes are vigilant.

His gaze sweeps over the trees, watching intently. I let out a small sigh and walk over to him, my head hung low.

I curl up against his side, resting my head on my paws.

What happened? I ask quietly.

After Ira took over, you ordered the guards to release all of the prisoners into the forest. I wanted to stop you but I didn't want to hurt you, so I settled with making sure no one saw you like that. I also wanted to be sure you didn't hurt yourself, he tells me.

I stare at the ground, my nose wrinkling in disgust at myself.

I gave up control, I admit, making Xavier turn to look at me.

When my gaze meets his, I am shocked to see sympathy in his eyes.

I know what it's like to lose family. When my brother died I went on an even bigger killing spree, he says and my eyes widen.

He never talks about his brother, and I don't push him because I can feel that it hurts him to speak of it. I stay quiet because I'm afraid that if I say anything he will shut down.

His mate had been kidnapped, and he was looking for her. She was taken by a nearby pack, and when he found out, he tried to get her back but it was a trap. He refused to let me help him get her back, and they ended up killing him and his mate, there was nothing I could, he tells me, his voice cracking a little.

I let my Lycan take over, I killed the entire pack, over 150 wolves. The men, women, and children. He bows his head and I bury my muzzle into his furry neck.

Looks like we've both made mistakes.

**********

"Raven! Are you alright?" Hailey asks, rushing towards me as Xavier and I walk into the clearing. She looks over my bloodstained skin with wide eyes. I sigh in relief when I notice that the clearing is empty otherwise.

"I'm fine, can you ask Derek and Jace to clean up the East side of the territory? Don't tell anyone else," I mutter and she quickly nods.

"Of course."

"How is she? Is Shade back yet?" I ask. Hailey's face falls and she gives me a sympathetic look.

"No, not yet. Venatrix is a psycho, she keeps howling for Ira to come and fight her. You will have to be careful around her, with the things she is saying, Ira will do everything she can to take over so that she can kill her," Hailey advises.

"Yeah, well I have an idea that might bring Shade back if Venatrix doesn't give up control in the next few days," I shrug.

"I will let you know if Shade comes back," she tells me.

"Okay. Can you go to the mountain and tell my mom and Lily about Shade? They will want to come down, and maybe they can help."

I watch her nod and leave before heading to my house with Xavier. I go immediately to the shower to wash the blood off my body.

I scrub my skin until it starts to bleed and watch the water turn red.

"Raven what the hell are you doing?" Xavier growls from the doorway. I groan in frustration and bang my head against the tile on the wall. I forgot he can feel my pain.

"Nothing," I mutter. I lean against the wall and let the water run down my body. I hear the door slide open and Xavier turns off the shower, pulling me out. I wrap a towel around my body and walk into the bedroom.

My skin is completely healed when I pull on my panties along with one of Xavier's shirts from my dresser. I turn around and nearly run into Xavier's chest.

He stands in front of me, bending down so his face is level with mine.

"I thought we agreed what happened wasn't your fault," he says and I sigh.

"We did, I just felt disgusting with the blood of my pack members on my skin. They were in the prison but they didn't deserve to die as punishment."

"It wasn't your fault, now you have to let it go," he tells me.

"Fine, I'll just find something to take my mind off it," I shrug. He suddenly smirks and my eyebrow shoots up. He kisses me hard on the lips, and I slide my arms around his neck.

His hands run down my sides until they are under my butt. I gasp as he squeezes it and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he pulls away, smirk still on his lips.

"I think I can help with that."

************

My eyes glance around, searching for any sign of movement. I catch sight of brown hair and whip around in time to have my mom tackle me to the ground.

"Gotcha!" She tickles my ribs until I am laughing so hard that my stomach aches.

"Mom! Stop!" I manage to get out, sighing when she finally stops. She grins at me before pulling me to my feet.

"Okay so what did you do wrong that time?" she asks.

"I let you catch me," I deadpan and she chuckles.

"Well yeah but you were only looking, you didn't listen. I wasn't exactly being quiet," she says.

"Oh, can I try again?" I ask.

"No its almost sundown, but why don't you and Shade go through the obstacle course one more time before bed?" She suggests and I grin.

"Okay! I bet I can beat her this time!"

"Well you need to stop trying to play fair. If you start playing like Shade then you might be able to finally beat her," she says.

"Alright let's go!" I yell, sprinting through the forest and into the mouth of the cave. My mother follows me through the tunnels until we reach a door to the obstacle course.

The room is extremely large and full of all kinds of climbing walls, jumps, ropes, balance beams and other assorted obstacles. Shade is waiting in front of the start line, her arms crossed over her chest, and on her lips is a challenging smirk.

"Are you sure you can handle losing again?" she asks and my lips purse in irritation.

"Can you handle losing at all?" I shoot back. She grins and I return her smile, jogging over to stand beside her.

"Alright, are you two ready?" Lily asks, standing beside my mother. Shade and I both nod.

"Okay so if you two can make it through in less than four minutes this time, Raven will get a new set of engraved weapons, and Shade will get a week of going into the forest without being with me or her mom," my mother says making us both squeal with excitement.

"Okay ready? Go!" Lily yells, pressing the button on her stopwatch just as we dash past the start line.

I run as hard as I can, leaping over the forst three beams with ease. I see Shade keeping pace with me as I climb the rock wall and weave through the dozens of strategically placed poles.

I grit my teeth and push myself harder when I see a 12 foot wall approaching. There are two ropes hanging from the top, a grin forming on my lips as I get an idea.

I snatch a dagger from my boot just before I start climbing. I pause at the top, waiting for Shade to climb most of the way before slashing the rope.

"Damn it!" she curses. landing in a crouch on the ground. I smirk and drop down on the other side.

I keep running but suddenly hear a triumphant laugh. I glance back, muttering a curse under my breath when I see Shade dropping from the wall.

"Should have cut both ropes Raven!" she yells with a grin.

I push myself harder. My chest heaves as I tear through the obstacles, sighing in relief when I pass the finish line a good second before Shade.

I stop with my hands on my knees, breathing heavily.

"You guys are cutting it a little close don't you think? 3:54 and 3:56," Lily says and I laugh.

"Still counts," I say and Shade gives me a high five.

"Congrats, the loser finally won," she smirks. I shove her shouder, making her laugh.

"I'm just kidding, you know I love you," she says and I pull her into a hug.

"Yeah I know."

************

My eyes snap open to find a warm light filling my room. An arm tightens around my waist and feel Xavier kiss the top of my head.

"Have a good dream?" he asks me.

"A good memory. Shade and I were racing through an obstacle course, it was the first time I had beaten her because she always cheated. But that time, I was the one to cheat," I say with a small smile.

I feel him pause before speaking again.

"Do you think you can find a way for Shade to be able to control Venatrix?" I rest my head on his chest and sigh.

"I'm not sure, but I won't rest until I do."