DVD Commentary for

Blood and Silver

Part 3 - Doubt

Dear readers, welcome to the second DVD commentary. This time, you voted for my vampire story "Blood and Silver". I love simple titles, and this sums up the story pretty well. Kelron, as a human, has blood running though his veins, and his weapons are made of silver. Silverian, the vampire, holds the silver in both his name and outward appearance, while real silver hurts him, and he craves blood.

I chose this chapter because it marks the turning point. Kelron starts to doubt, as the chapter's title suggests, and his firm set of convictions is slowly crumbling.

"Is that so?" Warden Waragus lifted his bushy eyebrows while listening to Kelron's report the next morning. The two men slowly walked across the courtyard where Master Mergil was training some squires in the finer art of sword fighting.

Castle Northwall isn't described in much detail, and neither is the world the story is taking place in. It's a very void, desolated place, which is very unusual for my writing, because I love to build elaborate worlds. But I wanted to show that all that matters there is the conflict between humans and vampires, and everything else has been destroyed during that war.

"And it's really willing to tell you details if you swear to it to keep the information to yourself and let it go?"

"Yes, Master. But I don't know if I can actually believe that," Kelron replied. "I rather think it's a cheap ruse to get free."

"But it is a chance nevertheless," Waragus said, pondering. "It might work with some careful measures to ensure that the bloodsucker doesn't get away before it actually talks."

"But Master, what use is there in just me knowing Valendar's whereabouts?" the younger paladin reminded his superior. "As tempting as the thought is to go and face that demon alone, I couldn't possibly count on its honor."

The driving force behind all of Kelron's actions is the thirst for revenge against Lord Valendar, and since Waragus know this, he chooses Kelron deliberately for the job of guarding Silverian. Poor Kelron is a pawn to both Waragus's and Lord Valendar's master plans until he starts to decide on his own at the very end of the story.

"Nevertheless, I won't completely discard that possibility. For example, a group of paladins could follow you to Lord Valendar's hideout. You wouldn't be breaking your word."

Kelron frowned. "No, Master. I'm sorry, but it would be dishonorable, nevertheless. We have to find another way."

Waragus gazed at him. "Your attitude is laudable, and you're right, of course. But we have to find something out, no matter how we do so, and so I've decided to actually let our prisoner go if it tells us the truth. The vampire will get my solemn oath as warden that no paladin will harm it until it has left our territory."

"It said it would rather die than take this offer from you," Kelron answered.

"Well, we'll see about that." Waragus' smile was unpleasant.

Waragus is a very unpleasant character. I thinks it's clear very early that although he's on the supposedly good side of the humans, he's cruel and ambitious, and finally, he turns out to be the main villain. His counterpart is old master Mergil. Both older men are a kind of father-figures and teachers to Kelron from the beginning, but Mergil in his modest, no-nonsense attitude hold the charm of an old Jedi master instead of the pompous attitude of warden Waragus.

"If you don't take Master Waragus' offer, he'll infuse your wounds with silver every night. And when you get too weak, you'll get some blood. There's no escape from this," Kelron explained.

He had returned to the dungeon just before sunset, but it had taken Silverian a long time to wake up. The wounds were not healed at all, and the vampire moved very slowly. The red eyes, however, still burned.

"And whose blood do you want to give me? Animal blood? I cannot drink it. And which of you humans would give me their blood willingly?" the bloodsucker asked with a sneer. "Oh no, Kelron, your oh-so-clever master is wrong. A few days more, and I will fall into a rigor. And if the silver is not removed from my skin until then, it will poison me and slowly kill me while I sleep."

I tried to make Silverian's words sound very refined and old-fashioned, therefore he never abbreviates any words. All his appearance and behavior are in the highest possible contrast to Kelron.

The paladin knew that the creature wasn't lying. Its poor condition was all too clear for everyone to see. So if Kelron didn't want to make any promises he couldn't keep, then there was just one thing for him to do. He was a bit horrified by the prospect, but it was his task to help his order to find Valendar at last. And Silverian was his only hope.

Kelron took a deep breath. "You can have a bit of my blood," he finally said.

Hunger suddenly glistened in Silverian's eyes, and the paladin shivered involuntarily at this sight.

The vampire smirked. "Your blood? You are giving it willingly?"

Kelron finds out bit by bit about the peculiarities of vampires. I wanted to create vampires that are not your typical monstrous bloodsuckers that humans don't have a chance against - and no glittering emo-types either. Therefore, I decided to have a strong geas put on them that makes them dependable on humans on a completely different level: they can't drink blood from them or turn them into vampires against their will. I also wanted them to be the "good guys" in the end who only fight for their survival. The real monsters of this story are some self-righteous humans.

Kelron nodded. "Because I don't think you want to die. And as long as you live, you have a chance for freedom."

"Wise words from such a young human," Silverian said. "But I am warning you: if you do not mean what you say, your blood will be wasted."

"I mean it. And before you ask: it's not my master's order. He doesn't even know."

"So you have secrets from your master now?" Silverian wrapped a long silver strand of hair around a bony finger; the formerly silky mane was now matted and frayed. "Did he by any chance ask something of you that you found dishonorable?"

It was uncanny how exactly Silverian had guessed the truth, but Kelron tried to keep a cool face. "It's as you said yourself: I'm here to win your trust. Is there a better way?"

"Indeed." Slowly, Silverian got up from the floor. "How about a little proof?"

"What do you mean?" Kelron asked warily.

"Give me a drop of blood, so I can taste in it, if you speak the truth."

I remember writing something about "a game of cat and mouse" in the story synopsis whenever I uploaded the story on a web site, and I guess there are a lot of those cat-and-mouse scenes between those two. I have to smile every time I read that expression - initially, I wrote this story in my first language German, and then translated it to English. In German, the expression of playing cat and mouse is the same, and I had to be very careful not to translate expressions literally that have a completely different meaning in English.

The paladin hesitated, on edge due to the obvious voracity in the vampire's gaze. But despite that, it was the perfect opportunity. Maybe the bloodsucker would be more willing to think about Waragus' offer once it saw that Kelron stood true to his word.

After a short moment of thinking how to go about this, he finally pulled off the gauntlet of his left hand, took his dagger and cut into his forefinger. He held the hand through the bars as soon as a drop of blood spilled from the little wound.

The vampire reacted immediately. With its clawed fingers it grabbed Kelron's wrist with a swiftness that belied its miserable condition and started to lick the blood from the fingertip. The bloodsucker's skin was cold, but the touch of its tongue sent a strange heat wave through Kelron's body. He wanted to pull back his arm, but Silverian held onto it to catch a few more drops of blood. Finally, the vampire let go with obvious reluctance and looked at Kelron. A fire seemed to burn in its red eyes; a glowing, consuming, and dangerous flame.

"Thank you," it whispered.

In reflex, Kelron cradled his hand against his chest, but the burning sensation faded very slowly until it was just a prickle.

Here it is, the first obvious spark of attraction, due to the drinking of blood. Later, we learn that the effect doesn't last as long as Kelron thinks and that it's his own feelings and not some magic.

"You see, I didn't lie," he said grimly. "And don't thank me. It's for my order, not for you."

The vampire smiled, and the deepest shadows in its face seemed to be vanishing already. "Believe whatever you want. I know better than that. And that is why I thank you."

The paladin turned away as anger boiled in him. What was this beast thinking? One didn't thank an enemy! It was just another trick to unsettle Kelron.

But nevertheless... wouldn't Kelron thank anyone who gave him water when he was dying of thirst? But he was a human with honor, decency, and compassion while the vampire was a cruel monster, a beastly creature thirsting for blood like a vulture hungering for dead flesh.

They had nothing in common. Nothing at all.

The seed of doubt... Kelron is such an honorable and compassionate person at heart that he can't stay unmoved. I love those knight in shining armor-types that get corrupted somehow or realize they have been working for the wrong side all along. Chase from "Sanctuary" is such a type as well.

In the evening, Master Waragus returned and assessed Silverian with furrowed brows before he ordered the vampire to be brought into the torture chamber. For the first time, Silverian caught Kelron's gaze before the door of the torture chamber closed. The paladin thought he almost seemed to recognize a plea for help in those red eyes.

No, he was wrong. Aside from that, he couldn't help the bloodsucker even if he wanted to.

This time, it took longer until Kelron heard anything. The screams were muffled this time, but no less miserable. As the paladins dragged Silverian back into the cell, Kelron could see a fresh wound at the shoulder, lined with liquid silver. The vampire had stayed conscious this time, but was unable to walk alone. There were no silver cuffs on it, deemed unnecessary due to its weakness.

I think those scenes where Kelron has to listen to the sounds of torture are very nasty and painful to read, even more than describing the actual torture. As you've probably noticed, I like not to show things to make them more intense. The idea with liquid silver I got from the Underworld movies, I think. It's a rather clever idea, although the movies were very cliché.

"Think about it, monster: your life for a little information," Waragus said smugly. "Until tomorrow night, then." He locked the cell door and commanded his paladins to follow him out of the dungeon.

Kelron waited until he was alone again with Silverian before he turned to the vampire. "See? I told you..."

He stopped when he saw the vampire scraping at the fresh wound with its claws. It obviously tried to get the poisonous metal out, but since it couldn't be wounded by normal means, its claws were useless as well. It reminded Kelron of an animal trying to pull out a hunter's arrow from its side before it inevitably died.

Another animal reference. Kelron isn't completely convinced yet that Silverian is a person. But he feels sorry for him nevertheless, although he doesn't want to admit it.

No, the paladin felt no compassion at all. But what did all this tell him about his order whose prisoners were treated like this? A clean, final strike with a blade was one thing, but this painfully dragged-out perishing repulsed Kelron. And it was absolutely senseless since Silverian didn't talk.

The bloodsucker finally ceased his useless actions. The power of the few drops of blood was already used up and left the creature gaunt and ashen again.

"What was it you were you saying, human? That I should behave and talk to your master to escape more pain?" Silverian hissed. "I will never do such a thing! And you should ask yourself something: what would you do if you were in my place?"

"I..." Kelron broke off when he realized what he was about to answer. Of course he would rather endure hell's own punishment than betray his order to their enemies!

Silverian's smile was bitter, showing razor-sharp fangs. "See? You and I have something in common, after all."

Angrily, Kelron turned away before he did something he'd regret later. "That means nothing, you monster!"

"Oh, I think it means a lot... human," Silverian said softly. "And, if you do not want me to die, you have to help me."

"I don't have to do anything!" Kelron bristled and turned back to face the vampire with an angry glare. "Don't you dare to order me around!"

The creature shrugged, although that movement had to cause it pain. "As I said, it must happen voluntarily. Your decision, Kelron."

Silverian's calm intelligence is very obvious against Kelron's hot-headed rashness. We see a very wise, calm person who knows how to manipulate, and a very young man with a temperament he hasn't learned to control yet. I think, some years later, Kelron will feel ashamed at how easily he has been played!

With some deep breaths Kelron tried to calmed himself, but it was difficult. Damn that monster, it was right! Kelron had no choice!

"Alright," he agreed between clenched teeth and began to pull off his gauntlet.

Silverian got up from the floor and approached the bars. "This time, a few drops will not suffice," he explained. "I need a whole mouthful at least."

"Greedy bloodsucker," the paladin growled and began to pull off the entire arm piece of his armor. He rolled up his shirt sleeve and then cut a thin line with his dagger into the flesh of his lower arm. The blade was so sharp that he didn't feel any pain. Before the blood could drip onto the floor, he held his arm through the cell bars.

Those cell bars are a very important story element until Silverian finally gets out of prison at the end of chapter 4. The silver bars are a visible and tangible symbol of everything that stands between the two protagonists, and the few times they are crossed are vitally important to the plot. The moment where Kelron frees Silverian makes him switch sides for good.

"If you take more than you need, you're going to regret it," Kelron warned.

But Silverian didn't seem to hear him at all. Like someone dying of thirst, because that's how it was, the vampire lunged at Kelron's arm and caught the already falling drops of blood with its tongue before it started to suck at the wound.

Like last time, the paladin didn't feel any real pain, just that strange burning. On the contrary: the longer Silverian drank, eyes closed and with an expression of rapture, the more heat filled him. Silverian's mouth and tongue seemed to brand his skin and make his blood boil. Just as the vampire opened its eyes again and looked at Kelron, the paladin realized to his horror that the strange heat had aroused him.

"Let go of me, damnit!" Kelron pulled away his arm and finally felt some pain that dampened his arousal, much to his relief.

Drinking blood is always a symbol of sexuality in all vampires stories, and of course I had to use it as well. But there is still something impersonal about it since Kelron offers just his arm. In chapter 6, when Silverian drinks from his neck for the first time, it finally leads to sex.

Speaking of that sex scene, I remember some readers being surprised that Silverian was actually the bottom. I've never read a vampire story were the human is on top, and I guess that has also something to do with the power difference. But as great author C.S. Pacat said in a DVD commentary on her book, "sticking something into something else is not a sign of domination. A diver who's sticking his arm into a shark's mouth is surely not the one with more power of the two."

Silverian's red eyes seemed to look into his very heart and see every little secret; there was no escape. The vampire smiled knowingly. "Thank you; that felt good."

"Forget it!" Kelron pressed his hand over the wound to stop the bleeding and berated himself for not thinking ahead and bringing some dressings. Blood stains on his shirt would surely raise some unwanted questions.

"I will not." The vampire looked thoughtful for a moment, before it ripped a piece of cloth from his already tattered garments and held it out to Kelron. "Here. It is better than nothing."

Kelron looked at it suspiciously, but the piece of cloth was clean and free of any vampire blood. He took it and carefully dressed the wound on his arm while he realized that it had come to a point where the bloodsucker was offering him help - and he was taking it. And even worse, he had almost thanked it.

Another important exchange of things through the bars. This is the first time Silverian gives something tangible to Kelron. The bond between them grows.

The vampire had licked around its mouth like a cat to catch every remaining drop of blood. "There is something else you need to know," it said. "When one of our kind drinks three times in a row from the same human, a special bond is formed."

"What kind of bond?" the paladin demanded to know, putting his arm piece and gauntlet back on. "And don't tell me I'm going to be your slave after that! In that case, you're not getting a single drop from me again."

"No, it is the other way around. A vampire cannot drink from another human again after that."

"Your fairytales don't get any better. And what do you do if that special human dies?"

"It would weaken the vampire very much, maybe even kill him, and because of that risk we try to avoid this bond. And, since I do not feel any desire to be dependent on you, you should better see to it that I get the blood of another human next time."

Kelron crossed his arms in front of his chest. "And if not? It looks like I would gain immense power over you."

Silverian shrugged, the movement far more fluid than before. "Then I am going to die sooner or later. I will not drink for you a third time."

This rule of drinking three times that binds a vampire to a human is a very strong force. It makes both parties stronger, as we see later - giving the human vampire-like powers and enabling the vampire to endure the sunlight. But it also makes the human the vampire's master, a constellation I've never encountered in another story. If human and vampire love each other, it's a perfect bond, but a human could "steal" those powers theoretically by binding the vampire to him and making him his slave. I didn't explore this in the story, but since I really love my vampire concept here, I'll use it in another story I'm planning.

"Well," Kelron allowed. "I'll see what I can to. But my warden will only allow it if you talk."

"Waragus does not concern me," Silverian replied, unfazed. "It is your decision."

Kelron narrowed his eyes. "Are you trying to manipulate me again? It won't work!"

"Oh, Kelron, you have no idea," Silverian answered with a baleful smile. The voice was velvety and soft again. "I know very well what you felt when I drank your blood. It was not uncomfortable at all, was it? We do not just take, we also give something back."

Kelron felt blood rushing to his face. "I don't want anything from you, understood? You can stop those tricks of yours!"

"Oh, and here I thought you wanted something very important from me?" Silverian asked softly, gracefully stepping toward the cell bars that separated them. The blood had already done its work and restored the vampire's face to its former beauty. The dark shadows had vanished, and the lips bloomed with a rosy color. Even the hair was silky and shimmering again.

Silverian's white skin and silvery hair, red eyes, and pretty face are clichés as well - with all the new ideas in the story, I couldn't help playing with some very old ones. Until chapter 6, Silverian is the only vampire we see, but then we learn that they vary in their appearance as much as humans.

Kelron involuntarily shook his head at his own reaction. What was he thinking? It was just another trick to lure him in! A demonic bloodsucker could never be called beautiful!

But despite this, Kelron had noticed this fact from the very first moment, even if he hadn't consciously thought about it. The vampire's beauty had been of an impersonal nature, reminding him of a statue or a painting. But now the soft light of the torches was dancing on the white skin, giving it a warm glow. The shredded clothing revealed more than it concealed while the long silver hair followed every curve of the body like a veil.

Silverian wasn't just lifeless perfection anymore.

He was temptation.

So far, Kelron has been referring to Silverian as an "it", a creature, monster, beast, bloodsucker, vampire, not ever as a person. At this moment, that changes. The feelings Kelron starts to have for Silverian make him now a person in his eyes.

"I just want you to tell me where Lord Valendar hides," Kelron declared with a hoarse voice while he feverishly tried to rid his thoughts of these sinful, absurd things. It was just another trick! But he wouldn't fall for it.

"I will - you know my conditions. I would not offer this to just anyone, Kelron, but you have proven to be far more honorable that those other self-righteous paladins," Silverian whispered. "And even if you deny it: You do care about me."

"Don't get any ideas!" Kelron growled and hastily turned away to avoid those penetrating looks that unsettled him even more than Silverian's whole appearance. He decided to find some new clothing for the vampire as soon as possible. "The more you try to gain my sympathy, the more angry you're making me!"

I admit I have a thing for shredding a character's clothing, making it wet and translucent, or somehow putting it out of place to make another character stare. I've done it in "End of all Stories", in "Sanctuary" and in "Dare of Truth" as well.

"We both do know that you are not angry with me but with yourself." Silverian's voice was like a soft caress, making the paladin shiver. "But you do not have to be angry about having a heart, Kelron. The others may be cold and emotionless, but you are not. I knew it right from the beginning."

Kelron snorted in disgust. "Don't be ridiculous! A monster like you understands feelings even less than honor. That's what separates your kind from humans!"

"Really? We would never torture someone, much less a helpless person."

Angrily, Kelron turned around again. "Is that so? And what about my home village Tramentir? What about the countless deaths back then? Your Lord Valendar killed my father who tried to protect me!"

"Your father had a weapon and attacked Valendar, not the other way around," Silverian answered calmly. "It was self-defense."

Well, I guess we never learn how things really went. The thing is, Silverian did kill Kelron's father, and there surely would have been another way. Silverian is no saint, but a warlord, and he did things he isn't proud of.

"That is... how do you know that? I never told you about this!"

Silverian waved his hand dismissively. "I was with Lord Valendar on his campaign and saw it. And there is something else: he rescued you back then."

"What are you talking about? A wall fell down on me and the paladins found me..."

Silverian shook his head. "Before the wall could fall down and bury you, Valendar pulled you away from it. You had lost consciousness, and he carefully carried you to one of the houses still intact. I still remember what he said when some of us warned him not to leave you there. 'This boy with the silver eyes will grow strong enough to decide what he wants to do. Even if he chooses to be our enemy, it is his right.' After that, we left." He hesitated. "I was not sure at first if you really were that child, but Valendar was right: your eyes do have a kind of gray color that looks silvery, given the right light. The color of our death."

We already know that Kelron has silvery-gray eyes and that Silverian has blood-red ones, but here it becomes meaning. As I wrote before, those two warring elements, blood and silver, define the protagonists to equal parts. Silverian knew this back then. Vampires don't have any psychic powers, but he felt the touch of fate.

Kelron gaped at the vampire, completely at a loss for words. His thoughts were spinning, and although the voice of reason reminded him of the teachings of his order and the fact that vampires were all liars, something deep inside him insisted that Silverian had been telling the truth. Rescued by a vampire... no, it couldn't be!

"Be quiet, damn you!" Kelron shouted. "I don't want to hear your lies!"

"And what if it is true? What if everything the paladins told you were lies? Could you still follow their teachings?" Silverian's eyes held Kelron's. "Could you choose the wrong side knowingly?"

"Damnit, shut up!" Blinded by rage, the paladin drew his sword and thrust is through the cell bars. Silverian avoided it easily and then hit hard against Kelron's hand, causing him to let go of his weapon. The vampire took up the sword and smiled. Since the hilt was wrapped in leather, he could touch it without burning himself.

Kelron's silver sword is another strong, returning symbol. It's a sign of his honor, his belief, and with that belief, he hurts and kills vampires. We actually never learn if Kelron actually killed a vampire before. All he does is talk big. The smaller version of his sword, his dagger, however, is used later to scratch the silver from Silverian's wounds.

"Now what would your warden say about this? I could cut the silver out of my wounds with this, but then everyone would suspect that you gave me a weapon. And I do not want you to get punished."

Slowly, Silverian pushed the sword through the bars again, blade first, and Kelron hastily grabbed it to put it back into its sheath. He could slap himself for his carelessness, and the words of his old master about getting in serious trouble at some point due to his temper came back to mind.

By stabbing his sword through the bars, Kelron crossed the line between them again. Instead of threatening Silverian, he just cut into his own flesh, so to speak.

"If you think you can get out of here this way, you're mistaken!" he grumbled. "I still don't believe one word you said!"

"Believe whatever you want. It does not change the truth," Silverian replied, turning away with a shrug. "But you could ask Valendar yourself, if you take up my offer."

Kelron didn't reply. But he was resolved not to tell Waragus about any of this. He had to fight this inner battle on his own.

Kelron's inner battle is what makes most of the story. I wanted to tell a story about two sides of a coin, of realizing that the sharp lines of black and white are very blurred in reality. The good paladins can be cruel and bloodthirsty, and the evil vampires can be loving and kind. I love those stories, and I love to surprise my readers. The "secret" that Lord Valendar is Silverian, however, was never meant as a plot twist - I thought it was completely obvious from the beginning. It's fun to see that readers can be surprised by easy things and on the other hand, find out completely obscure stuff immediately.

Well, this is the end of the chapter. I hope you had some fun with this commentary - for me, it's wonderful experience to reflect on my works! Thanks for reading!