I didn't know the death of someone that I have never met, and that they didn't even know of my existence could fuck me up this bad.

I woke up the other day with the message of someone telling me you had died, at first I was in denial, I started shaking, it felt like I had something in my throat blocking the pass of oxygen and my stomach started to hurt, I went to Instagram and Twitter and it was everywhere, everyone was crying and grieving and I started crying too, I had to sit on my bed because I couldn't stand still.
It hit me, it was real, it wasn't some fucking joke, or a stupid rumor, it was real, you were dead.
I spent the rest of the day at school, silent, with my headphones on, listening to your music and I couldn't stop thinking about you, every picture I saw made me want to cry again.

I'm sorry for my friends because I totally pushed them away that day, I practically ignored them, even when they asked me non-stop if I was okay.
I couldn't speak, I couldn't say out loud that I wasn't fucking okay, because you had died.
I didn't want those words coming out of my mouth.

I went home, and spend almost the rest of the day in bed.
It's been two days and I still can't stop thinking about you
So young, way too damn young, you only were 21, and you had such an amazing future above you, everyone was starting to know your name and recognizing your talent.
Now everyone knows your name and everyone is speaking about you.
I guess you were right when you said "When I die you'll love me"
I wish It hadn't to be this soon.
Fans around the world are making memorials and doing meet ups to sing, hang around together and to remember you.
You won't be forgotten.
I miss you so much already
Thanks for helping me with your music this past year on really shitty dark days where the only thing I wanted is to stay in bed all day crying.
I love you Gustav💔🖤

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I've been wanting to update both books of playlist but I right now I can't, I've been really depressed for the past few days... Lil Peep death has hit me really hard
I can't stop thinking about him, the only thing I've been doing since then is listen to his music and watch videos of him
Sorry, I'm a bit messed up rn I'll come back and update soon