In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

~ T. S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

~ i ~

when she, I remember

her when she, when

it's raining outside

& inside - a moth

moons the zero-watt

earth of the LED bulb

& alights, de-lighting

whatever dreamtoeing

sleep I was, when she.

I don't know its name

don't know if & what

bird eats it, if the birds

that eat it are one of those

sown songly in the dawn

I slough to sleep in - bird

where is your settings -

hello, customer service bird

I can't one from the other

will you eat the moth that's

keeping me awake, do you -

its name, umm, its wings

are a murk like an open book

closing when it beats - beeps.

to continue in english, press 2

~ ii ~

to 4g my sim, in the nearest to me

network centers near me, having

issued a token, I am please waiting

until my name is called, bird-

spotting the netflix heartbeat

the samsung unlock chime

the pornhub intro, the xiaomi ringtone

the iphone's, all birdsongs of the now -

                                                   of course

                                                  I color my all

                                                  with my now -

on the way back, there's something nuclear

about the way the traffic throws light at us

both yet only I don't blink, spreading & silent -

but my now, when happy, is magic -

on the count of three, one two three

~ iii ~

the pain becomes a walking away pain

in the wait, I learn to name the index

of visitors - one is moth, one is bird

one is her - but this my magic is of

this my dangling age I have to deal

with until I can't - a self destructing

with a three & a two & a

once when she, I remember a stinging

insect slipped in through the window

I rolled a newspaper into a sword &

fenced it with the headlines, tried to

trap it in page 3 but in vain, I gave in

to its orbital violence -

                                                 becoming

                                     one of the room's own

                                                 ajarnesses -

in the night, I open the windows

but no bird is coming in

& no moth is going out -

                                                 token no. is 128

                                                 but I can't see

                                                 the display screen

                                                 has a murk on it

                                                 & I can't move

                                                 it's me, I'm 128

                                                 but I can't be

                                                 heard in silence

                                                 & spreading

                                                 last call for 128

                                                 & it's me

                                                 but I can't -

hello, customer care saint

consumer complaint god

please tell me there's a

meaning when she, tell me

there's a reason I remember.

~ Ajay

14/8/2020