I try my best to clear my mind from the invasive thoughts I have been attempting to erase, but once I put my glass down and open my hand, someone lays their warm one over it and covers the pill, and even though I know who this is from the ring I perceived, I still glance up at them, with an aching heart in my chest.

"I know it's painful, but try not to," he takes the pill away from me, and I raise my eyes up to him. "I can't. You don't know—"

"I don't know what it's like, you're right," he predicts my words. "But I know what it can cause you in the long term. Try a little harder, y/n. Please. This is for you," he believes I still care about myself, not aware of the condition the agonizing pain puts me in every single day. I cannot even live like a normal human being anymore, it feels like hell, and it seems like no one can relate or understand. "You know that the more you take those pills, the more you become sensitive to pain."

"Jungkook," I hold the palm of my hand up to tell him to put it back on it, staring into his eyes. He does not move or does as asked, but instead, only maintains eye contact. "You're hurting yourself more than anything with this, and we both know it."

"If you had to live with that every damn day of your life, you would do the exact same, trust me," I touch his hand and try to open it, but he tightens it and drifts it away. "You could deal with the pain without taking this in the past," he ventures to bring this up, bring what I do not want to talk or even think about anymore.

My body freezes for a moment, remaining quiet, before I manage to control my emotions and grab his wrist. "I don't want to keep doing this in front of everyone, Jungkook. Stop."

Without listening to me, he takes my hand in his empty one and drags me in the backyard, which is only a terrace with a pool. He leads me to a corner to not have people near us, and he gazes deep into my eyes.

"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you again and that you're hating me, but we can try to do this together like at the beginning. It used to work—"

"It used to," I underline, painfully. "But it's different now. So stop, please. It hurts, it's ruining my time here, and I just want to feel okay and enjoy some time with my friends," I fight against my body to not shed a tear. I have cried enough in front of him, I do not want my weaknesses to show again. "Why is it different?" he asks for clarification, not taking the hints.

I do not say a thing for a few seconds, not handling this moment and all the struggle it engenders, both emotionally and physically.

"You'll take another one even if I keep this, won't you?" he knows me well, and I admit the truth by nodding, getting him to sigh and give me the pill back. "At least try to avoid taking more this month."

I pretend to not have heard him since it is too hard to promise such a thing, and I look up at him. "I'm sorry for worrying you like that."

"Don't," he peeks down at my lips. "Don't say that. I know it's not your fault. I just care too much about you," he fakes a smile and cannot hold back from dropping his attention down once more, before walking away to go back inside.

•••

10:20 pm.

As the pain, which is nearly numbing one side of my face and neck with its intensity, is ruining this day with my friends, I breathe out and lift one hand up to my throat to knead the sensitive spots as the boys are playing games on Angelo's PS5.

It has already been thirty minutes since I took a pill, and I can tell the pain is starting to fade away, but I can also feel the side effects kick in which makes me nervous.

"This game is so hard," Angelo wines while stretching his body, and eventually lets a moan of satisfaction out. "Fuck..." he drops the controller on his lap, but abruptly, my head becomes light, and my vision blurs, so I close my eyes and take a few seconds to recover from this sudden attack.

I know what is happening, I am used to it, so I will not panic.

"Are you tired?" Angelo notices and places his hand over mine that I kept over my thighs, so I open my eyes and tell a lie. "Yeah," I force a smile, and his fingers stroke mine. "Do you want to take a nap in my bed or go back home?" he lowers the sound of his voice as the others are still enjoying the game, and I shake my head, refusing to already leave. "I want to stay with you and be awake until everyone's gone. It's a special day."

"Hm. I want you to listen to your body though. I'll stay up pretty late tonight, so you can take a nap and still spend some time with me afterwards, don't worry," he offers me his bed to relax in silence, but no matter what would be best for me, I do not agree. "I'm fine," I gaze into his eyes, and he maintains the contact, maybe hesitating or being uncertain. He brushes his thumb over my skin and never looks away. "If you fall asleep, I'll carry you to my bed. Okay?"

"I won't," I state with confidence, and he softly smiles before turning his focus back towards the TV screen, but without taking his hand off of my cold ones, and he speaks to Felix, who is struggling with the controls.

I remain quiet while watching them have a good time, and I slightly move my fingers over Angelo's skin to feel more of his warmth that brings me a lot of comfort. "Just keep using the triggers for now, and I'll help you if it's not enough," he puts his controller to the side and leaves the sofa, so I check where he is going but see him walk up the stairs in the middle of this open floor plan.

I wonder what he is doing, but I feel like this is because of me.

I try not to overthink and drift my mind away from my pain but hear Jungkook clear his throat next to me. "Do you still have that migraine?" he guesses without even hearing any complaints from me, and I raise my eyes up to him. "Yeah..." I do not look for too long, feeling weird about this awkward tension I can sense between us since he got here.

"Are you feeling like that because of the pill?" his question unsettles me, and because of a few words only, I become anxious. I do not want him to talk about it, let alone mention this issue in front of Angelo, who does not know about it.

Feeling too ashamed to even speak and admit it, I ignore him and do not answer.

"He doesn't know?" he keeps his voice low so that only him and I can hear this conversation, and I confirm what was easy for him to understand. "Don't say anything, please," I set my eyes on him and beg, not wanting another one of my best friendships to be ruined because of me again.

He stares deep into my soul, knowing for sure why I am telling him to keep this to himself, but this strong connection, which dives me into his hypnotizing brown eyes, and that we have not had in a long time, affects me more than I wish it would.

"Promise me you won't, Jungkook," I ask for him to give me his word, needing it. He drops his steady gaze down to my lips and takes a deep breath in before sighing. "I promise," he relieves all the fear there was inside of me, and Angelo comes back.

He walks up to me, but with a blanket, and he properly places it over me, then sits down. Without saying a word, he slides his hand underneath the soft fabric and holds mine, which are intertwined.

"Thank you," I show him how grateful I am for this, and he tenderly smiles at me. "Tell me if you need something else, okay?"

I nod to him, and he caresses my skin. This feels so good.

10 minutes later...

The feeling of Jungkook's knee bumping mine wakes me up, so I remove my head from Angelo's shoulder and raise my eyes up to the one who took me out of my dreams, but given where his eyes are directed, he probably did not even realize.

Feeling more than comfortable under the blanket, with Angelo's warm skin still against mine, I peek up at the people around but notice some of the ones I did not know are missing, and it seems to be quieter than earlier.

Feeling pretty thirsty, I move onto my spot and go forward to grab my glass and drink, but Angelo's hand slides over my thighs, and he leaves it there. After swallowing some flavored water, I go back in my previous position, and he rubs his thumb over my skin.

This is the first time he touches me intimately, but for some reason, I do not feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, man, this game's getting on my nerves," Kaden drops his controller to stretch again. "You're just bad at it," Jungkook replies to taunt him, knowing exactly what to do to make him react. "Shut the fuck up," he does not even try to find a better comeback, but Jungkook finds it satisfying and chuckles.

"Hey, what's happening under that blanket for you to blush, birthday boy?" he targets him and gets my curiosity to make me peek at his face. His cheeks are indeed slightly flushed. He scoffs but raises his other hand up to the back of his head. "It's the alcohol, dumbfuck. It always happens," he tangles his fingers in his fluffy hair, and I smile, uncontrollably.

"Aw, it brings your freckles out, that's so cute," he teases him, speaking in a baby voice. He is an idiot, but I do have to agree that Angelo looks adorable like this. "Leave me alone and look at your pet," he toys with his hair but gives some squeezes to my thigh, making me clench them without even wanting to.

"He's not my pet. Say that again, and I'll kick your ass," he cannot stand this, hating the sound of this sentence, but since I am too out of it to listen to their argument, I rest my head on Angelo's shoulder and turn my mind off for a moment.

•••

11:40 pm.

"Y/n," a soft voice wakes me up for the second time tonight, and I come face to face with the tallest man here, Angelo. "Everyone's leaving, do you want to stay for the night, or I drive you to your house?"

"I gotta go home," I shake my head, refusing no matter what I want. "My father will kill me if I stay," I slowly regain full consciousness and move up, and he brings me back to the front door. We both put our shoes back on, and I grab my bag to go out. He lets me step out first, and we join our closest friends to say goodbye to each other.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?" Felix opens the passenger seat of his car for Leon, and Angelo nods, making me feel happy. "Yeah, I loved it and had a good time."

"Good, that's all that matters. I honestly love your parties because they're always chill, and the music you play is so good compared to most people," he hands his car keys to Leon, probably so that he can turn the heater on, but Jungkook distracts me by saying my name. "Do you mind if we talk? Be honest if you'd rather not."

"We can talk," I agree and leave Angelo's sides to follow him and be a bit apart from them. This has been four months, so pushing him away would make me feel bad.

I quietly stand in front of him and wait, and he looks into my eyes but seems nervous. This is not like him. He has always been so confident with me, but today, that was the complete opposite.

"I...I don't even know how to talk to you anymore, but I just want to know how you're doing lately. Is everything going alright? Has it not changed? Or has it gotten worse?" he shows me that he is still the same person. The same caring one. "I'm fine, it hasn't changed a lot, but it's not really worse," I hold my hands together, anxiously. This feels so weird to talk to him, but at the same time, I missed it, I cannot deny that.

"I'm relieved to hear it," he tucks his hands in the pockets of his pants, his brown eyes staring into mine. "I'm just...I've been worrying about you, so it feels great to see you again, even if I do believe you would probably have liked to avoid it, but—"

"No," I cut him off, hoping for him to not think that again. "Don't say that."

He lowers his look down to my lips and smiles, getting my heart to race when it has been a long time since I last felt like that because of someone.

People say that time heals all wounds, but personally, this does not seem to be true at all.

"And...about Angelo? Are you two really not a thing?" he brings up the topic I hoped for him to question me about. "We're not. We're friends," I tell him, despite how closer and closer we both are becoming to one another. "Oh. I mean, I can see that he seems to make you feel better and happy, or at least good. I loved seeing you smile a lot today."

My lips curve up, those words paining me more than anything else. This reminds me of the fact that the last time we were together, I was not as joyful as I used to be.

"What does that mean? Do you only remember me as a moody person?" I joke with him to try to get the answer I want from him. "No. Absolutely not. It's just that," he shrugs and breaks eye contact for a short moment. "It reminded me of the past when we used to be with each other every day. That's all."

He had the same thought as I did.

"It feels like it's been years," I awkwardly remark. "I mean, it's been two years, kinda, but still, it feels longer than that."

"Yeah, when you were a baby," he grins at me, and I laugh. "What do you mean, a baby? I wasn't."

"You were, stop it," his contagious smile causes mine to widen, and I look away. He makes it so hard to stay impassive. "Whatever you say, I take it as a compliment," I let him be right this time. "It is one."

I pretend to not be affected by his words and voice, and I direct my eyes towards his choker, but hear Angelo call me. "I'm waiting for you in the car," he warns me, making me feel like I should not take too long.

"I'm coming," I answer and look back at Jungkook. "I should go, I don't want to make him wait, and it's really late," I peek down at my phone to check the time, knowing my father must be staring at it and waiting for me. "Yeah. You still have my number anyway, right?"

"I do," I expose the fact I have not erased anything, and we gaze into each other's eyes. "Text me if you ever changed your mind. Alright?"

"I will," I do not have the courage to say otherwise. "Good. Then, see you, I hope. Take care of yourself and be careful," he does not let me forget to do what should be the most important, and I return those words to him, before telling goodbye and walking away.

After this overwhelming talk, I head to Angelo's car, but get stopped pretty fast. "Wait," Jungkook forces me to focus back on him for the last time, but his body language expresses some serious discomfort.