•••

4:30 pm.

"Hey," Enna kicks my foot to have my attention, and I move my eyes away from the outside of the bus. "What's Angelo's social media?"

"I'm not gonna give you the opportunity to stalk him, weirdo," I prevent her from doing this again, and she sighs as if she had the right to. "Come on. I just wanna know what type of guy he is."

"Then talk to him like a normal human," I give her a judging look, not getting why she is so obsessed about doing this same thing with everyone. "You think he'd be honest? Most people hide a part of them when they talk to you, and that part of them can be found on their social media. This guy seems too perfect, he's tall as fuck, he's got Gojo's eyes, and even his height when I think about it, he's got tattoos, he's hot, has a hot voice but is so sweet, so that's too much to not be sus."

"You're thirsting over him way too much," I receive a kick in the calf right after. "I'm just letting out what you keep in. Do you know if he has a girlfriend at least? If he's gay?"

"I don't know and don't care, so now, shut up and give me a break," I set my eyes back on the road and check where the bus is, how far we are from my house. "I'm bored when I don't talk," she does not close her mouth, causing me to glare at her but hold back from laughing.

"Fine!" she listens to me and ceases, finally.

"How do you find him though?" she stays focused on him, and I shrug. "He's fun to be with."

"Fun to be with," she never stops repeating my words, not even hearing herself and how annoying she can sound sometimes. "Is that all?"

"I don't know. He's cute and kind, what do you want me to say? I don't really know him personally," I speak more about my feelings that I never like to put on display. "Don't you know a bit about his mindset? Some of his favorites? From what I've seen, he doesn't seem fruity, so you could—"

"You're cringe," I end her sentence to not hear more of it. "I just know that he loves playing video games, working out but not too much. He also talked about Jungkook's girlfriend last time we saw each other," I feed her hunger for drama and tea with this and do not keep it to myself. "He told me that he saw her many times because whenever he hangs out with Jungkook and his friends, she wants to be there, but he said that he can't stand her because she's noisy, immature, and arrogant."

"Holy shit, he said that?" she enjoys those news, loving the subject, and I nod. "Yeah. He really pointed out the fact that he dislike Tiktok girls, and since she's one, he made it obvious that she's like, a cliché, or something. I can't remember what words he used exactly, but I know he called her dumb and weird."

"This guy is smart. I like him," she does not feel the same way as she does about my best friend. My ex best friend. I knew this detail would make her have a preference. "Do you want me to set you up with him then?"

"No, set yourself up with him, dumbass," she shakes her head and furrows her eyebrows, and I scoff but turn a deaf ear to what left her mouth.

— Four months later —

Saturday, May 13th, 2023.

7:20 pm.

< tell me how this went once you're back home:> ]

I read Enna's text before going out of my house and roll my eyes, and I ignore her. She deserves it for trying to stalk him yesterday.

I walk up to Angelo's car after getting ready to go to his house to celebrate his birthday, and I open the door to get in.

"Hey," he greets me, sounding joyful, warm, and I speak in the same tone of voice. "Hey, how are you?" I place my bag on my lap to put my seat belt on, and he smiles, his pretty blue eyes sparkling. "I'm fine, how about you? Did you get enough sleep for tonight?"

"I did," I lie, pretending to not have struggled to sleep just for three hours. "Good, let's go then," he turns the ignition on and drives towards his house. "I'm really happy to know you're here," he fills me with delight, showing some sincere glee. "I'm happy to be here too. I just hope everything will go well."

"It will, don't worry. You won't have to see that girl because I didn't invite her, so even if he comes, pretend he's not there if that helps," he gives me some advices I have already thought about. I have been planning this day since he told me Jungkook would be there, so there is no scenario I have not went through. "Good to know she won't be there. That's one good thing."

"Yeah, glad to see we're still on the same page," he chuckles, and I cannot help doing so. "It's not gonna change. Trust me."

"Same, but let's not think about her more. I need to talk about Felix and Kaden because they're getting some stuff for tonight," he peeks on the left and drops his tattooed hand on the gear stick to turn. "And they asked me what you'd like to eat or drink."

"No need to get anything special for me, just buy what you want for your birthday, and I'll eat what there—"

"No, no," he refuses to hear this and gives me a brief look. "You're a special guest, so you get to ask for anything you want. Who would ruin such an opportunity? Anything you want for free," he tries to tempt me, but since I know this would make him happy to hear me tell him I want to eat something, I pick. "Well, this might sound weird, but I'm craving some raspberries."

"That's all?" he raises his eyebrows and slows down in front of a red light. "Yes," I do not hesitate, not feeling hungry for anything special. "Well, there will be some whipped cream, you could make those raspberries a little tastier with that, right?" he holds his hand on the steering wheel and focuses on me now that he has to wait for the green light, and I smile at him. "Sure."

"Yes, sure," he runs his fingers through his brown hair and makes me notice something about it. "Your hair looks so fluffy today."

"I know, I'm gonna spend my twenty-third day on this earth with the fluffiest hair ever, couldn't have asked for more," his tone of voice gets me to quietly laugh, and he plays with it as if he took my remark as a critic. "It was a compliment, you know."

"I wasn't sure," he grins but stops making a mess in his hair.

20 minutes later...

"Here we are," he opens the door of his house and steps back to let me in, so I move forward and go in, joining the people that are already here, and among who some faces are very familiar.

Too fearful to be a part of the small crowd of friends, I stay on my spot and take my shoes off, but feel Angelo's warm hand touch my back. "Don't be nervous, everyone's friendly here," he rubs his hand up and down to reassure me, and my body slightly relaxes. "I'll try."

"Do you want a drink?" he stays with me as if he knew I am feeling uncomfortable, and I nod but leave my bag on the floor. "Yes, please."

"Don't say please," he scoffs at my habit and tangles his fingers in my hair, the physical contact making me feel much better. "Come with me," he leads me to his open kitchen, where Leon, another one of his friends, is talking to someone.

"What do you want to drink?" Angelo opens a cabinet to get a glass out. "I got different types of alcohol, but I guess that's useless to show them to you," he remembers, aware of my taste, and I confirm. "Well, then I got some apple, pineapple, or orange juice. Or I can make you a special blue cocktail that I always make myself when I'm down but don't wanna get drunk."

"Blue cocktail? What does it taste like?" I become curious, wondering if he is joking with me or not. "Well, it's sweet, and citrus flavored, but I can try something else for you if you want."

"No, I kinda want to try your blue cocktail," I shake my head and lay my hands on the marble counter. "Great, you're the first one I do this for, so I'm eager to know what you think of it," he happily grabs the ingredients he needs, and I watch him do everything. "Won't my tongue be blue though?"

"Why are you worried? Are you planning on kissing someone?" his rosy lips let his teeth appear, and I chuckle, nervously. "No. I'm not."

"Well. It will turn blue, but don't worry, it will be cute on you," he makes an unusual compliment but still manage to flutter my heart. "As long as you find it cute, I'm fine with it."

He shows some softness and pours a sparkling drink into the pretty glass. "Will you add a cute sunshade at the end?" I look up into him as he is focusing. "I don't have any, but I'll give you a cherry, is that okay?" he peeks at me to make eye contact for a brief moment, and I agree. "Yes, it's edible, so it's better."

"Angelo," someone says his name and interrupts him, but he keeps his attention fixed on the drink as I could not hold back from turning around. "Yeah?"

"Can I play some music on the speaker?" he asks him for permission. "Yes, but only good songs."

"I know, I have good taste, so no worries about that," he takes his phone out and goes back to the other guys, and Angelo moves to the side to open the fridge, gets two cherries out, but eats one and places the other over the ice cubes in the colorful drink. "Here, tell me what you think," he slides it towards me, so I lean over and trap the straw between my lips, and I try this cocktail.

I swallow some of this blue liquid, but unlike what I expected from it, this is pretty tasty.

"So?" he impatiently waits for my opinion, so I gaze up at him and lick my lips. "I like it. It's better than I thought."

"I'm glad to hear it, I'll make this for you if you come visit me again," he tidies up after getting multiple bottles out, but the doorbell rings, meaning one or more guests are here.

"Wait, I gotta greet them," he throws the cherry stem out and leaves me for a minute, but out of nervousness and fear, I check who is about to join this party.

Angelo heading up to the door as one of his friends started to play some music on the speaker, but to my greatest relief, at a low volume, I take another sip of the cocktail and stare at him welcoming someone new for his birthday.

He smiles at them in one of the brightest ways and steps back to let them in, my heart racing, I set my eyes on the one entering the house, and my sharp breathing runs out of my lungs as soon as I know this is not Jungkook.

I have no idea how I will react once I see him, once he is close to me, but I must be mature and not show my emotions.

•••

8:40 pm.

"Are you enjoying your birthday so far?" Felix smiles at Angelo, the four boys I know sitting on the sofa with me. "Yeah, but I'd like to taste the cake you brought. I'm starving, but Jungkook is making me wait," he takes a sip of the cocktail he made for himself, remaining by my side the whole time.

"Has Jungkook texted you or something? He told me he wasn't sure about coming," he runs his fingers through his blond hair, and Angelo checks his phone. "No. Last time he sent me one was an hour ago," he scrolls through the conversation, so I drift my eyes up to his face and uncontrollably focus on his freckles.

"I'll call him in twenty minutes if he's still not—" the doorbell interrupts him and puts an end to the suspense. I am pretty sure this is him.

Angelo stands up, and he makes his way towards the door.

I instantly nibble on my inner cheek, without wanting to. I set my eyes on the door, and as soon as Angelo opens it, I catch sight of the one I have not seen or talked to in months, and my heart skips a beat.

He apologizes to Angelo for the lateness and comes in with a box, but as if we were the only ones here, he notices me, and we both make eye contact after a very long time.

I cowardly glance away, not even maintaining it for more than a second, and I listen to them talk.

"Finally! You like making the birthday boy wait, uh?" Kaden annoys him, playfully, and he smiles but shakes his head. "Here's your gift," he hands him the black box I noticed in his hold, and Angelo takes it. "Thanks. You didn't have to. I told you all to just come to enjoy the party, but you all brought something," he walks back towards us and pass by me to place the new gift next to the others, right under his TV fixed against the wall.

"Who the hell comes to a birthday party without a gift?" Felix moves forth to eat one of the snacks on the coffee table, and Angelo changes the song. "Me," he scoffs but does not mean it for sure. I know how he is, he would never do such a thing. "You're a bitch then."

"I know," he slides his hands in the pockets of his tight jeans, and I notice Jungkook sit down next to me. He is wearing a choker, a leather jacket and black pair of jeans.

This is the style of clothes I would always love to see him wear because of how good it fits him.

"You want something to drink?" Angelo adresses him, and he asks for nothing but water. "I'm coming back with it and getting the cake out," he leaves us, and I gaze down at Jungkook's wrist, noticing a jewelry.

With a lot of astonishment but delight, I find out that he is still wearing the bracelet I got him. I cannot believe that he has never taken it off.

"So, how are you doing, Jungkook?" Felix questions him, curiously, and the concerned one leans forth to rest his arms over his lap. "Good. Life is amazing, and you?"

"Damn, glad to see we're all living our best life," he sneers, both speaking with sarcasm. "I am, though. I have a boyfriend, and we're both each other's soulmates, so I can't relate," Kaden flexes in front of us and makes us feel even worse, and Felix glares at him. "Good for you, but I don't wanna hear about anyone's happiness."

"Why? You're mad you got no bitches?" he smirks at him and raises his arms up behind his head to stretch, and Angelo comes back with Jungkook's drink. "No. I don't need anyone."

"You're just coping, bro," he provokes him, knowing what could tick him off, and I watch Angelo go back to the kitchen, but with Leon and another boy, who went up to him to help with the cake.

"You're just mad you need someone to be happy," Felix attempts to make a point but only gets Kaden to laugh. "Keep coping."

Not getting to him like he wanted to, Felix hits him in the arm. "Who the fuck needs someone when you can get everything from and with yourself? It's a waste of time."

"Say that to the ones that are in a relationship here then," he drops his arms on his lap and heaves a sigh. "I'm pretty sure most of us are single here."

"You think so?" he raises his eyebrows, showing his skepticism. "I'm taken. Jungkook is, Gabe over there, he is taken too," he points his finger at someone who is with another group, and does the same for others. "Tony, Lea is also in a relationship, then Angelo and y/n are both together," he causes a frown to form on my face by making up a lie, and Jungkook's eyes land on me right away. "Angelo and y/n?"

"We're not," I reveal the truth to make sure this is clear, but Kaden purses his lips at me as if I was not being honest. "Sure, girl. You two are always so fucking handsy with each other whenever you're together, you flirt all the time, and you're gonna tell me you're not a thing or into each other? Come on, I'm not dumb."

"You are because we're just friends," I smile and hope for my answer to not be rude, but Felix's laughter tells me this might have been a little too straightforward. "I-" Kaden glances down, expressing some shock. "Wow. First time you attack me like that."

"I didn't mean it, I was just defending the truth," I move forward to take a sip of juice, and in order to escape this awkward situation, I stand up. I head up towards Angelo to check if he needs a hand.

"Do you want me to help?" I go right next to him as he is already cutting the cake. "No, no need to. Don't worry."

"You didn't even blow the candles?" I raise my head up to look at him, feeling sad about not seeing him do so, but he smiles. "No, I don't care about that. I just wanna enjoy my day with my friends and eat some good cake," he places the pieces on the different dishes to serve the ten people here. "I wanted to see you do it though."

A tender laugh runs out of his mouth, and he puts his blue eyes on me for a second. "You're adorable. I'll blow one if you really want me to."

"Yes," I insist, willing to make him do this important part of the celebration. "Where do you have some?"

"Felix and Kaden got some earlier and put them over there, I think," he indicates a spot of the counter on my right, so I take a look at it, and I quickly catch sight of them. I grab one of the two packages and get one candle out to not annoy him too much, and I look around for a lighter. Once I have all this, I move back towards him and wait for the serving to be done.

"Here, does everyone have a piece?" he turns around to make sure no one has been left out, and Leon nods. "Yeah."

"Alright," he takes the final piece for himself, but he glances down at me before leaving, knowing why I am standing here.

We both look at each other, and I smile but poke the top of his piece of cake with the candle, and I light the tip up. "Here you are. Make a wish."

"Fine," he plays along and closes his eyes, keeping his veiny hands on the counter as I cannot help grinning, and after a few seconds, he leans forth to blow the candle out. "Happy birthday again, fluffy haired man," I never cease to tease him about what I find cute, and he giggles. "Thank you, pretty girl," he takes both our dishes in his hands after slipping a compliment I did not expect to receive, and he leads us both back to our closest friends.

For some reason, the way he said those words did something to me.

"What was your wish?" I sit down where I was earlier, between him and Jungkook, and he hands me my dish. "That you'll be kinder to me this year."

I gape at this answer. "How am I not already? I'm the kindest friend you have."

He digs his spoon into the soft dessert but seems to find my statement amusing. "Stop lying to yourself. You're a mean girl to me, and I got proof, so no need to pretend to be innocent."

"You're the liar between us," I grin but take a spoon as well, feeling hungry, and I perceive him stare at me. "That's right, fill your mouth up and keep quiet."

Not finding any way to fight back with words, I punch his arm.

"Hey, you should give him a kiss instead," Kaden drags my eyes and Angelo's ones up to him. "It's his birthday, and he didn't get any yet. Wouldn't you want it, Angelo?" he slides a piece of cake in his mouth while proudly smirking at him, but Angelo's reaction surprises me.

He licks his lips to attempt to conceal some apparent embarrassment and glances up at him. "Focus on your pet and leave us alone."

"My pet?" he exposes the fact he knows who this is about by peeking at Felix, and a chortle escapes him. "Yeah."

"That's so funny coming from you, who fucking flirts at every goddamn opportunity you got," he never drops this, being obsessed with this falsehood he seems to absolutely want to believe in. "Flirt? If what we do is considered as 'flirting', then I don't even wanna know what to say about what you two do on a daily."

"I have a boyfriend, you think I'd flirt with this guy?" he denies it, not liking it once this is thrown back at him. "I'm not flirting either, but you doubt me every time I say it, so I could doubt you as well."

"Whatever you say," he finally moves on, and we all continue to eat.

•••

9:40 pm.

The music resounding through the house as every friend of Angelo is celebrating his birthday, I peek down at the pill laying in the palm of my hand, and without thinking too much, I make my way towards the kitchen with a glass in my other one. As soon as I reach the counter, I check the different bottles of alcohol displayed before me, and which have been started on, but tend towards some mere water.

This is much safer.

I turn the faucet on and fill my glass, feeling anxious, apprehensive, worried. I try my best to clear my mind from the invasive thoughts I have been attempting to erase, but once I put my glass down and open my hand, someone lays their warm one over it and covers the pill, and even though I know who this is from the ring I perceived, I still glance up at them, with an aching heart in my chest.