•••

1:30 pm.

Everyone having a drink and sitting around the firepit to end the day as I am trying my best to act normal, I swallow more beer and glance at Angelo, who has barely taken his hands off of her. The background music plays softly to fill the gaps of silence.

"Alright, brother, listen," Kaden slurs, already tipsy after a few drops of vodka. "You need to chill the fuck out. I can't have you starting a fight in here. We both know how humiliating this will be for you," he smirks at Leon, barely able to maintain eye contact. "You think you'd win against me, bro?" Leon, who is even more plastered, laughs out loud in one of the most exaggerated ways, throwing his body forth.

"Yes, the fuck?! You dumb piece of shit," he responds, waving his arms wildly in the air. As I chuckle at the ridiculous but entertaining scene, Leon redirects the attention to Angelo, who unabashedly opens his third bottle of vodka. "Look at this motherfucker over there," he points his finger at him from the other side of the fire, slumping in his seat and squinting one eye. He slaps Kaden on the chest and leans in to him. "Take a really good look at him. Uh?"

His eyes are glazed over.

"Yeah, what about him?" he tilts his body towards Leon, both staring at the concerned one. "Think you'd win a fight against him?"

"Yes, no doubt. Would," he flies his bottle to his mouth to never stop drinking. "Would? What you mean 'Would'? You gay?" he flinches away from him as if he was shocked, frowning with a judging look. Kaden keeps the bottle's rim pressed against his lips while gazing with empty eyes and thoughts. "Yep, brother. Me gay."

Leon overreacts, and his jaw drops to the ground. "No way, man. That's not possible."

"Not possible? Anyone would be gay for this dude-"

"What about me? I'm hot too!" he punches him out of frustration, feeling insulted. "Yeah, but like, I mean," he keeps his whole attention over him, scanning Leon's body.

"You're fit, tall, with pretty and veiny hands and arms. Pretty face, and broad shoulders. I could go on and on about your good looks, but you're dumb, brother," Kaden does not restrain his mind at all. "Angelo's not. Listen, even y/n, she's gay for him," he takes another swig from the bottle and mutters, "He's a hot bitch. She'd hit it if she could."

"Don't speak about her," Angelo says after silently participating in the argument, his hand tightening on her thigh. "Why?! I talk about whoever I want. Your pretty girl~" he teases with a honeyed voice. "She is very pretty, indeed, brother," Kaden lifts his empty bottle up. "To the pretty girl."

"She's the prettiest one I've ever seen," Angelo finishes with a smile and makes eye contact with her, sending a flirtatious look her way. She shyly laughs and looks down at her thighs. "But you're my pretty girl, right?" he brings one hand up under her chin to lift her gaze back to his as I cannot control the emotions inside of me anymore. She nods and smiles, her flushed cheeks exposing her inebriation.

My heart races as I watch the interaction unfold, feeling a mix of jealousy and longing. I try to push down my feelings, but they continue to bubble to the surface, threatening to spill over. The mere sight of him caressing her body, his hands claiming her as his possession, fills me with an unbearable anguish that I cannot endure. The thought of them together consumes me, filling me with a burning rage as I realize the depth of heartbreak that I cannot escape.

"I know he's just not right for you!" Leon shouts and suddenly starts singing the song that is playing, yelling his lungs out. "And you can tell me if I'm off, but I see it on your face when you say Angelo's the one that you want!" he grabs Kaden's shirt as this one started swinging his body, and he joins in to sing along, the lyrics sounding oddly real. "And you're spending all your time in this wrong situation!" he throws his finger in y/n's direction, making her laugh.

I smile, faintly, everyone laughing at the show the two of them are giving, and which does not sound as bad as we would have imagined.

"I know I can treat you better than he can," Leon stands up and drops his bottle on the seat to make his way to her, telling Kaden to keep singing, and he takes her hand, leading her away from Angelo. "And any girl like you deserves a gentleman," he manages to take her where he wants and sings while dancing with her.

Her eyes full of joy sparkle, and happiness escapes her lips as they move together in perfect harmony. This is the first time I see her like that, not drunk but on the verge of it. She seems so happy.

"I know I can treat you better than Angelo can," he changes the lyrics and intertwines their fingers, y/n having a good time and moving along to Leon's professional moves, whose intoxication makes it easier for her. "And any girl like you deserves a gentle me," he loses his balance but quickly regains it, never letting go of her.

"Come on, Jungkook!" Kaden shouts, going somewhere I would not if I were him. "We all know you're the one who wrote the song for her," he finds his own words funny, but I do not react. I stare at him with a blank face and hold back from saying anything that could ruin the moment even more.

I lower my eyes to the ground and take another sip of my beer, bouncing one leg to get some stress off my mind. I keep my composure and try to act unaffected, even though inside I am seething with anger.

No one acknowledges what he said, and the song comes to an end to fade to another one.

"Ayo, you're gonna dance to that one too?" Kaden leaves his empty bottle on the ground, and I resist the urge to leave.

For some reason, Felix drops one hand on my thigh and gives some taps, bringing my eyes to him. He does not look at me but keeps watching Leon dance with y/n.

Even when I do not say a word, he knows how I feel.

"Bro, stop now. Dance with someone else," Angelo tells him, clearly uncomfortable with the escalating intimacy between Leon and y/n. But Leon just laughs and continues, ignoring what sounded like an order and getting on his knees in front of her. "I just wanna take your legs and wrap 'em 'round," he moves up against her while running his hands up her bare legs and provokes him with a look right after.

"Keep going, magic Mike! It's hot!" Kaden refuses to see him stop, despite how suggestive this has become. The alcohol is making the touches heavier than it should.

"I don't want to be a minute man," Leon goes for it and leans in closer to y/n, who obviously is shy and does not know what to do anymore. "Baby, you're just like a storm raining on me," he body rolls against her from behind, one arm around her waist, a part of his fingers under her crop top. "Girl, you're soaking wet," he sings in her ear from behind while holding her by the hips. Y/n blushing more than if the alcohol was the only thing at fault as Angelo is not having it at all. She cannot help but laugh and try to follow him.

"I'ma kiss you right," he raises her chin up, leaning in as if he was about to kiss her lips, then moves aside to face her and drifts his fingers down her skin while smiling, enjoying it a little too much and making moves that are too accurate to the meaning of the lyrics.

No one saying anything but watching as I do not even feel any jealousy but desire to be him, he swirls her around and quickly slides one hand over the back of her thigh to lift her leg up. "Girl, when I'm inside," he crashes her body against him, not dancing to the beat only anymore but giving her a dance as if this was her birthday.

Her body leans backward as he bent forth without letting go of her thigh, and he pushes her back up against him. "I'm gonna make you wet the bed," he lifts her up but carries her to the bench right next to them, and he lies her down on it. The same sentence of the chorus being repeated, she covers her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a laugh and burning from head to toe.

He passes one leg over the bench and bends over her, sneaking his arms under her calves to cup the front of her thighs. "I'ma put your legs behind your head-" he bites his lips but laughs and stops after he roughly pulled her in and was about to get in an even more suggestive position with her than they already were in.

He takes her hand to pull her back up, and I cannot hold back from taking a peek at Angelo.

He is seeing red.

"Come on, bro! Don't stop when it gets spicy!" Kaden dares to complain after all the things we saw. "I can't, man, it's too spicy inside me too," he stumbles back to him and drops his body like a rock as Kaden clapped his hands. "She's in love, brother, I know it."

He smiles and says, "Me too," which raises doubts. What if he is actually sincere?

"Last time you do this type of shit and touch her like that, Leon," Angelo seizes her wrist as she went back to him but wrenches her towards him to sit her next to him, behaving too harshly towards her to my liking. "I could see stars in her eyes, what're talking about?" Leon sneers and pushes his hair back, and causes y/n to laugh as well.

Why does it seem like he is intentionally provoking him?

"She's drunk, so shut the fuck up," he stares at him with anger in his eyes, not joking when even I would not have reacted like that. If this were Angelo instead of him, I would have reacted differently, but considering Leon's passion for dance, my emotions are conflicted, and I find myself torn between concern and amusement.

"Ah yeah? Y/n, are you drink- No, drunk?" he chuckles at his own mistake, and she shakes her head but giggles for no reason at all, indicating that she actually is intoxicated. "See, she fell in love with me, sorry Angelo," he does not realize how serious he is, still joking and adding more fuel to the fire.

Angelo does not respond but clenches his jaw, and some satisfaction grows inside of me.

"He's gonna punch you in the face if you don't shut your mouth, bro," Kaden advises him not to continue, but the amount of alcohol running through his blood makes him act thoughtlessly. "If she's drunk, he's probably gonna impregnate her like he did to that-"

"Don't you fucking dare end that sentence, Leon," Angelo warns him as we all got taken aback by what was brought up. "What?" Leon chuckles and turns his head towards him. "You shut the fuck up and never talk about that again, you understand?"

The tension is palpable as Angelo's voice dropped to a dangerous low, causing Leon to finally realize the severity of his words. We all know that things are about to escalate if someone does not diffuse the situation quickly.

"Fine," Leon nods, knowing that Angelo's temper is like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. "Let's all chill our cheeks and love each other, guys," Kaden manages to do the job, Leon still smirking and avoiding Angelo's steady stare.

No matter how much I hate Angelo, I would never have dared to say anything like that, but he should consider himself very lucky that y/n is not conscious of what is being said.

In one chug, he empties his bottle and stands up, takes y/n's hand in his, and heads back to the front door of the house.

"If you're both drunk, please do not sleep in the same room as her," Felix addresses him and gets him to stop. He glances at him as y/n, who is having difficulty standing straight, intertwined their fingers and rested her head on his arm. "I'm not drunk," he denies, so I do not hold back from speaking up. "Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. Just mind your fucking business," he does not care about anything we have told him but leaves with her anyway.

As they are walking back to the inside, a faint complaint can be heard from y/n, "I'm not feeling good, Angelo..."

"What's wrong?" Angelo whispers back and stops not far away from us to listen to her, Felix keeping his eyes on them as if he could not trust Angelo either.

"My head hurts, and I feel like throwing up," she groans, clutching his shirt and using his body as a support for her smaller one. "It's okay, baby. Let's go back inside," he picks her up and carries her.

Felix watches them closely, his doubt growing after Angelo did not care about what he said. As they disappear inside, he cannot shake the feeling that something wrong might happen.

"Go and make sure they sleep in different rooms, please. I don't want him in the same bed as hers. She's clearly unconscious," I ask Felix to do what I cannot if we all want to avoid another fight, hoping he understands the severity of the situation.

He sighs and directs his eyes to the firepit, wondering how to handle the delicate situation without causing more tension. As he contemplates his next move, the crackling of the fire provides a comforting background noise.

"He doesn't seem drunk, so I believe him. We need to trust him, he wouldn't do anything wrong," he says, sounding quite unconfident. "Yeah, 'He wouldn't'," I repeat his words without conviction. Felix's uncertainty hangs in the air as we silently contemplate the consequences our decision could have, the flickering flames casting dancing shadows on his face, highlighting his hesitation.

"Are they really together? Like, there's no chance for me, right?" I come to the realization that this might be over for good, that we will never be what we were before. I know I need to move on and find happiness elsewhere, but I just cannot.

"I don't know, Jungkook. I don't think he'd call her baby if they weren't a thing," he says, not reassuring me at all, neither sugarcoating reality and giving me false hope. "I just think that you should slowly try to accept it. I know it's difficult, and I wish things didn't end that way, but you should focus on yourself...or try to not dwell on the past. I know it's easier said than done, but it's important for your own well-being.

The pain of acceptance settles in my chest, a heavy weight that I am not sure I can bear. As much as I try to deny it, the truth is staring me in the face, and I know I must eventually come to terms with it.

I swallow to erase the hard lump that formed in my throat, and I run my fingers over my bottom lip, feeling the slight tremble and anxiety that have taken over my body.

I do not know how I will ever be able to move on from the pain of losing her. I feel like a piece of me is missing since we drifted apart.

Every memory we shared floods my mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. The emptiness in my heart grows with each passing day, and I am left wondering if I will ever find peace again. I cannot resist the longing for the days when we were inseparable, sharing laughter and conversations as if an unbreakable bond held us together.

/ flashback \

Sunday, October 24th, 2021.

"Where do you think you'll be in two years?" she asks, both lying in the grass and admiring every sparkling star in the night sky. I struggle to imagine a future, grimacing at the thought. "I don't know about what I'll be doing, but it will for sure be with the annoying girl I have next to me right now," I tease and lay eyes on her.

She tuts and playfully smacks my arm. "I'm so annoying you call and text me every day," she points out to prove me wrong, my eyes never running away from her features as hers are focused on the sky. "Well, I just don't want you to be sad because your favorite person is not talking to you, you know?"

Her head snaps towards me, a glare in her eyes. "You think you're my favorite person? With all the people living on this earth?"

"Yeah," I say confidently, a smile playing on my lips. As none of us is breaking eye contact, she grins and says, "Well, maybe you're right."

"I knew it," I reply. "What about you? Where do you think you'll be?" I return the question, curious to know what she envisions for herself in the future. "I'm not sure, honestly...I hope I'll be happy though," she struggles to see something that is so beyond us. "With you around all the time to remind me of how annoying I am."

"What if... I'm dead?" I get punched right away, and she yells, "Don't say that, dumbass!" she turns towards me and wraps her arms around my body, resting her head on my chest. "You'll be healthy and happier than ever. I know it."

I remain silent for a moment, smiling and feeling somewhat happy, yet pained as well.

I free my trapped arm and wrap it around her neck, planting a kiss on her forehead.

I wish I could confess.

/ end of flashback \

The tears sting my eyes as I try to hold them back, and I clear my throat. "I'm going to bed," I move forth and rise from our bench, the weight of my bottled feelings heavy on my chest. As his gaze lingered on me with a mix of concern and confusion, he breathes out, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I answer with the same exact word as the tears started streaming down my face, and I go back inside the house.

I know that I have missed my chance to tell her how I truly feel this whole time, and I am the only one to blame. I am left with regret and heartache. The consequences of my own mistakes.