•••

10:30 pm.

"Angelo," Kaden says his name after swimming back to the surface, staring at him as he is sitting down on one of the indoor sun loungers. "Y/n's not joining us?"

"In a few minutes. She was picking her clothes before I left the room, but I'm gonna text her," he takes a sip of water and looks back at his phone screen. "Oh, so you were in her room while she was changing? Uh?"

"She's been in my room many times, so what's the problem?" he states and lets it be known, causing me to be anxious. "Ayo, that's why she's like a puppy following you around all the time now?"

"Don't talk about her like that," he defends her like I would have if he did not. He can joke as much as he wants about everything, but he better be respectful when he talks about her. "What? That's what girls do when you have sex with them the right way. They're addicted and blind."

"Bro," he fixes his eyes on him. "Didn't you hear me the first time I said it? Don't talk about her like that."

"Like what? I'm not saying anything wrong, chill," he does not understand, and since it is pissing me off, I get out of the pool and get hold of my towel. "Yes, you are. You're talking about her like she's some sort of fucking dog."

"You're literally the one who bragged about the fact 'she's been in your room so many times'," he attempts to mimic his voice in a satirical way. "I don't see why I'd brag about such a thing, but sure, virgin guy."

"I'm not a virgin, you piece of shit!" he hits the water and throws some at him, overreacting about this topic. "It sounds like it though."

There is no way he has not done anything to her. I can tell from the way she behaves around him, she needs his attention and reassurance. Something must have happened between them. It almost feels like she is dependent on him now. She is pretty clingy when she is in love or when she feels good with someone and trusts them, and I can tell she is acting like that with him, so he better be taking care of her.

I do not want to listen or witness this scene anymore, so I leave this room and walk upstairs, where the one I desire to see is. Having spent countless hours with her, and knowing her more than anyone here, I am certain that she must be nervous about showing up in just a swimsuit.

I make my way towards the room I usually occupy, and I knock on the door. "You can come in," she answers right away, so I step inside.

I move forward and peek over the wall, but fall upon her in just her underwear, or a bikini, I cannot tell exactly. She quickly puts on a shirt, and as I avert my gaze from her thighs, I lay my hand over the frame of the arched doorway.

She is wearing a black oversized shirt, but a very familiar one. This is the one I lent her when she slept at my house for the first time, and which I have never taken back. From the look of the print over it, I can definitely tell, with no doubt, that it is not the first time she wears it again.

"Oh, it's you," she fixes her hair and makes it obvious that she was not expecting me.

"I just wanted to check in on you. Are you okay?" I ask her, and despite taking a lot of time to pick a piece of clothing, she nods and briefly lowers her eyes to my bare torso. "Yeah, I was just going through my closet trying to find the best thing to wear for this."

"Did you not take a swimsuit?" I peek down at her body, and she does the same, probably instinctively. "I didn't have one, so I'm wearing a bikini underneath," she pulls on the fabric. "Is it okay or dumb? Am I the only one wearing a shirt?"

"It's not dumb, just wear whatever you're comfortable in. We're guys, it's different," I do not tell her what to wear, and she smiles but glances down at the bed she is facing. She scratches the nape of her neck and uncontrollably expresses some discomfort, so I try to reassure her. "If you don't want to join us, you don't have to. Or you can wear something else, it's okay."

"I know..." she drops her arm and turns her head in my direction. "Are you wearing makeup?" I mention what bugs me. "Just some waterproof mascara and pencil. Why?"

"It'd be better without it, but whatever," I do not argue too much about this since I know her opinion, and I lean on the wall next to me. "Do you know if there are enough towels for everyone downstairs?"

"Yeah, don't worry about that," I hide my hands in my pockets, never taking my eyes off of her. "Okay," she heads up to me as I am attentively following every movement she makes, a nervous knot forming in my stomach. She slows down when she reaches me, so I direct my body towards her to have the door frame against my back, and we both stare into one another's eyes.

"You look healthier now, I'm happy to see it," she casts a glance over my torso for the fourth time and puts a smile on my face. However, nothing comes out of my mouth, I cannot say anything. I just want to keep my eyes on hers and stay here, with no one around but only her and I. Lost in her gaze, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort, emotions I have not experienced in a long time. She feels like home.

The tension between us dissipates as we stand there in silence, finding solace in the familiarity of each other's presence, easing the atmosphere. In that suspended moment, it feels like time has stood still, granting us the opportunity to cherish this connection before the outside world interrupts.

In that moment, I realize how much I have missed her presence in my life.

"What's wrong?" she finally breaks the silence, and I swallow hard, a lump forming in my throat, before managing to respond. "Nothing. I'm just looking at you," I smile and glance down at her lips before meeting her eyes again.

Suddenly, her expression shifts, the delight fading to reveal a hint of underlying pain and a complexity of emotions. A palpable shift in the atmosphere occurs, heavy tension settling between us, unspoken words hanging in the air like a dense fog, thick and suffocating. A realization dawns on me that my lingering gaze may not be as innocent as intended, stirring up emotions that should have remained untouched and unexplored.

I avert my eyes, hoping to diffuse the tension before it becomes unbearable. The silence becomes a suffocating blanket, enveloping us in a moment of shared vulnerability, making escape seem impossible.

"Does it make you uncomfortable or hurt to have me around?" I finally muster the courage to break the silence, my voice barely above a whisper. The fragility in her eyes mirrors my own. "No," she whispers back, a smile playing on her lips. "I'm happy to see you."

A weight lifts off my chest as her response eases my fears. We sit in silence for a moment longer.

I nibble on my bottom lip, feeling the tension in the air, and glance down at her hands, noticing the gentle intertwining of her fingers. "I miss you," I finally admit, the words heavy with the feeling of lingering emptiness, emphasizing the lasting impact of her absence.

Despite having her right before me, I still feel a void within me.

The silence stretches on for a little longer. Finally, she breaks it by saying, "You miss me? But I'm here," she feigns ignorance with a fake smile, knowing exactly what I meant by that. "Yeah...but it's different. It's like you're physically here, but emotionally, you're still so far away," I confess, trying to put into words the complex mix of emotions swirling inside me.

The look in her eyes tells me she understands my words, and her silence makes me regret how straightforward I was.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," I say. "No, it's okay," she responds softly. "I...I understand what you mean. It's just..." she struggles to find the right words to say. "I don't really know, to be honest," she hides her hands behind her back as she looks down at the ground. "Don't worry," I reassure her with a comforting smile and take a step closer.

Looking for a pretext to get closer to her, I clear my throat and fix some strands of her hair that must have fallen out of place when she put her shirt on, and she raises her chin up to look at me, with a worried expression. I can feel my heartbeat rushing in my chest.

"Am I-" she gets interrupted by the sound of a knock on the door. No matter how frustrating this is, I do not show it to her. "Y/n? Are you coming?" Angelo speaks and captures her whole attention.

"Yeah," she glances at me, making me understand she has to go, and I step back to answer without a word. She does not wait before heading up to the door to open it, but I deliberately position myself behind her, ensuring he is aware of my presence. "What-" his eyes dart up to me, but he barely reacts. "What were you doing?" he grabs her hand and takes her away, so I close the door myself and follow the same path.

"I didn't know what to wear," she says as she walks down the stairs and leads the way after he positioned her in the front. "Aren't you wearing the bikini I got you?"

So he is the one who bought it. No wonder this is a bikini, not a swimsuit. She would never have chosen a two-piece over a swimsuit.

30 minutes later...

Not feeling in the mood to join the game they are playing, I stay in a corner of the pool, but constantly gaze at y/n, who has not left the sun lounger once since we came back here.

She looks at them playing with the ball and being loud, those four guys, who split into two teams, fighting against each other to win. Her smile widens as she watches Angelo score another point, joining Felix in celebration.

"It's not fucking fair! He's two heads taller than us, dammit!" Kaden rages over this dumb game like a kid. "And my teammate is dogshit. I want Jungkook instead."

Leon, clearly offended, seizes the beach ball and pitches it hard in his face, causing Kaden to flinch and emphasize the pain he felt from it. "You motherfucker!"

I cannot help laughing in front of this but get out of the water. I push my wet hair back, droplets scattering around me, and grab my towel to pat myself dry. As I walk away from the pool, I take a look at y/n but notice she already has her eyes on me, resting her chin on her hand. We both smile at one another.

"Don't you wanna go in the water? It's warm," I ask her, trying to make conversation. "No, I'm fine here," she grins. "Honestly, it's a good idea given how hysterical Kaden is," I drop my towel on the seat next to her, and she chuckles.

"Will you join us for a drink afterwards?" I settle into the chair next to her, wanting to stay close by her side. "Yes, probably. I'm not feeling tired yet," she replies and makes eye contact. I do not break it, unable to tear my gaze from her captivating eyes, but she laughs and turns away, getting my smile to widen.

"What?" I ask, intrigued by her reaction. "Nothing," she denies having something on her mind.

"Oh, so you're laughing for no reason?" I playfully reply. She nods but looks at me again. This time, there is a hint of shyness in her eyes, so I never glance away, feeling no lack of confidence.

"Stop looking at me like that," she diverts her attention to something else, and I cannot help but smile at her bashfulness. "Fine, I won't," I say, secretly pleased with her reaction.

"Keep crying, bitch," Angelo heads up towards us, getting yelled at by Kaden. He does not bother grabbing a towel, instead, he makes his way to y/n and stops before her. "Where did you put my phone, sweetheart?" he demands, softening his voice. "I'm not taking your stupid picture!" Kaden complains as y/n found the device and handed it to Angelo.

"Yes, you are," he grabs it and thanks her with a gentle caress over her cheek before returning to our loud friend. I keep my mouth shut and watch him snap the photo. Kaden looks like he is about to explode with annoyance, but Angelo comes back while laughing and drops his body next to y/n.

I wait a few seconds before moving and leaving, not wanting to have them both close right next to me. I cannot help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever I see them together.

•••

1:30 pm.

Everyone having a drink and sitting around the firepit to end the day as I am trying my best to act normal, I swallow more beer and glance at Angelo, who has barely taken his hands off of her. The background music plays softly to fill the gaps of silence.