He rises from his spot right away and forces his way between my body and the seats, holding me by the hips while heavily brushing past me.

When he is gone, I sit back down but leave the rest of the meat and side dishes to the boys. I cannot swallow anything more.

"Are you still not together?" Kaden addresses me about our relationship. "We're friends. We told you."

He does not answer but nods his head, still enjoying the meal, so I do not talk but send a text to my father to tell him I will stay at Enna's house after this meal, even though this is not true.

"Could I check something and say something about you once he's back?" Kaden speaks again. "Check what?"

"I kinda indirectly let him know you're gonna spend this Sunday with Jungkook," he comes up with the worst idea, and I frown, not getting the purpose of this falsehood. "Why would you?"

"I wanna prove a point and show you I'm right," he checks in the restroom direction to make sure he is not here yet. "Right about what?"

"That he's into you but denying it," he gets Felix's eyes to end on him. "He won't show it in front of you but just talk about it with her when they're alone if he actually gets jealous, so your plan is dogshit."

"You are dogshit, so shut up and watch me prove I'm the smartest," he confidently claims. "Sure. What are you gonna do tomorrow, Jungkook?" Felix questions him, asking about his plans and drifting away from the previous subject. "Nothing. Why?"

"I'm going to the gym in the morning, do you wanna come with me?" he invites him, knowing that Jungkook would not refuse to work out.

Against expectations, he actually shakes his head, surprising me with something he would never have done in the past. "I can't. I'm not really in the mood lately. I mean, I can come and be there to help if you need, but I won't do anything."

"Well, it's up to you. You don't have to come if you wanna stay home. Don't worry," he does not force him but makes sure he knows it. "I'll come, I don't want to stay home alone."

I look at him after hearing this sentence, feeling some pain in my heart.

"I'll entertain you, don't worry. I'm better than a girlfriend," he states and manages to put a smile on his face, but I cannot move on from this. "Are you always alone when you don't hang out with them?" I do not keep quiet, and he makes eye contact with me, not eating anymore either. "Yeah, but it's fine. I get to do whatever I want."

"That's not what you told me some weeks ago," Felix exposes him in front of me as if he wanted me to know, which would not surprise me since he is aware of everything that happened. Jungkook glares at him, making it obvious that he would have liked him to keep it to myself. "I don't remember saying that."

"I do, but it's okay," he mumbles under his breath, and I notice, from the corner of my eye, Angelo coming back, so I stand up. He passes behind me for the second time but cannot hold back from grabbing me, and we both sit down.

"Angelo, what are you doing this weekend?" Kaden starts what he mentioned a few minutes ago like an idiot. "I'll be with y/n tomorrow, but I don't know about Sunday. Why? Do you wanna hang out?" he does not expect anything.

"Well, I wanted to invite you all to go watch a movie, but Felix will be busy, and Jungkook and y/n decided to spend the day together, so you're the last one who could save—"

"What?" he does not even let him finish but glances at us both, and his eyes remain on me. "Is that true?"

Before I could even answer him, Kaden interrupts me. "Dude. I'm gonna be alone. Doesn't it matter more?"

Angelo does not even look at him but stares at me to get an answer. "Are you really going out with him?"

"That's not true. He's just making up a lie like an idiot," I shake my head and sigh, not liking this immature move. "A lie?" he peeks at him, and this one smiles. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"You think you're funny, uh?" he reacts the way I expected him to. "Why is it such a problem if she hangs out with me?" Jungkook only grasps this from the sentence that escaped him, and I fear the next seconds. "Because I don't want her to be with you."

"And who are you to decide what she can and can't do?" he furrows his brows at him, both getting into an argument I do not want to hear or see occur between them. "Guys, let's not—"

"I'm just protecting her and making sure she doesn't get hurt again, but you have no idea what it feels like to do so, do you?" he cuts Felix off and uses some words he will regret for sure, so I say his name and attempt to stop this, but he refuses to cooperate. "He's the one who started this whole fucking thing, so I'm gonna let him hear what he needs to hear from somebody."

"If you were really protecting her, you wouldn't even be friends with her, asshole. So do not fucking talk about some stuff you don't know about," Jungkook defends himself, talking about something I cannot get. "I do know more than enough."

"You fucking don't, and you better not ever do anything wrong to her because I'll make sure you—"

"Do anything wrong to her?" he scoffs, losing his composure for the first time in front of me. "I'm sorry, but what were you doing when you knew she was in love with you? Weren't you just fucking and using that hoe while playing with y/n's feelings because you knew—"

"Stop, Angelo," I cut him short, not wanting those words to leave his mouth and worsen the problem. Maybe Jungkook knew about my feelings, but seeing them being exposed in front of everybody makes me very uncomfortable and ashamed.

"He knows all that already, he's been aware of your feelings this whole fucking time, we all knew, but that never stopped him from using two girls then acting like he's the victim in this fucking shit," he digs a hole into my chest, telling me something no one ever told me before. "Angelo, you're going way too far. Shut up now," Felix attempts to end this, my heart aching under some tension. "Why? Because I'm letting her know the truth you all didn't mind hiding? We all know that bitch he was dating was just a slut he used for sex because 'she cheated on her ex'—"

"I never used anyone! You're lying just to make me a horrible—"

"Yes, you fucking did!" he slams his hand on the table and startles me, everything overwhelming me and making me lose my mind. "Right after having sex with her, you literally told us that you didn't have feelings for her, didn't like her but that you were just trying to get rid of the feelings you had for y/n back then when you were too much of a coward to confess. So you were using that bitch without feeling guilty! That's exactly the words you said to us. Stop being a fucking liar."

"You're a fucking bastard," Jungkook stares at him with wrath, but his glistening brown eyes provoke some horrible pain inside of me. He is indirectly proving that Angelo's words are true. If they were not, he would not tear up. "Because I'm being honest? Then, yes I am, but you're even worse."

Jungkook does not even say anything anymore but grabs his phone, and he leaves us.

This cannot be real. I cannot believe any of this.

As if Jungkook walking away was not enough, Felix throws a glare at Angelo and stands up, and he follows the same path, probably to catch his best friend. Doing my best to not burst into tears, I nibble on my inner cheek and stay silent.

"Why did you have to go that far, Angelo? You promised him something," Kaden breaks the quiet awkwardness between us, not supporting him for what he did either. "I'm tired of keeping this to myself. He hurt her and did some messed up shit, so instead of always coming at me at every occasion he gets, he should face her and be honest."

"Yeah, but you promised something," he takes his phone in his hand to slide it in a pocket of his trousers, and he stands up. "I gotta go to the restroom," he leaves us as well, no one staying here after the heated argument that happened only because of his immature move.

Not finding anything to say or do, I remain silent and look anywhere but at him.

"Are you mad at me too?" he drags my eyes towards him, and we both gaze at one another. "Was it all the truth?" I ask for confirmation, and he nods. "I don't lie about serious stuff like that. He did date her just to get over you, and at some point, he knew about your feelings."

I lower my eyes out of distress. I would not have believed him to be able to do this, but I also did not expect him to actually catch feelings for someone like me.

"I'm sorry for talking about this now, in front of them, but I got upset," he apologizes to me when Jungkook is the one he should do this to. "I'm not mad at you, but I think you should have a serious talk with him."

"He doesn't want to talk to me anymore. He hates me because I'm close to you, so he doesn't care about talking," he tells the reason why their friendship is not going well lately. "Just try. At least, you won't regret not doing it."

He heaves a deep sigh but agrees with me. "Yeah. He hates me for sure now, but I'll try again."

Feeling like it is the right time to end this day, I check what time it is on my phone and take some cash out. "I should go home now. I'll call an Uber, so don't—"

"You don't want to stay at my house anymore?" he recalls what I said earlier. "You don't want to be alone after this?" I look at him to read the emotions his features express, but he stares into my eyes and shakes his head. "I want to spend time with you even more..."

I smile but glance away. "Do you want to stay here a little more?"

"No, I wanna go home now," he takes his wallet out and puts some cash down too, so I move to do the same, but he grabs my hand before I could leave some money. "I'm paying for us."

"Again?" I grumble, and he grins. "Yes, and it's always going to be like this," he hides his stuff back in his pocket and touches my waist. "Let's go."

I rise from my spot and get followed, and we both walk out of the place together but fall upon Felix and Jungkook standing in front of the only car I know the most. I check how he is doing but quickly understand things are not okay.

Angelo does not pay attention to them though, he unlocks his car, and we get in.

I hate how affected I still am by his behavior and the way he feels. This is like nothing really changed.

•••

8:30 pm.

I sit down on his sofa while he is getting two drinks after coming back home, but I take a look at my texts. Jungkook sent me one only five minutes ago.

< I'm sorry for sending you this but could we see each other tomorrow, please? I really need to talk to you ]

I am not surprised. After the way the meal ended, I expected him to need to have a talk.

[ Yes. Where do you want to meet? >

< I'll come pick you up at your house whenever you're ready, is it okay? ]

[ It is. I'll text you and tell you when you can come >

< Alright. Thank you, and I'm really sorry about what you heard earlier. I'll talk about it with you tomorrow to clear up the stuff he made up ]

[ it's okay, don't worry >

I do not stress him out even more than he already is, and I put my phone down now that Angelo is back.

He puts my drink on the coffee table and sips on a can of grape juice, before leaving it down as well and grabbing his PS5 controller to come closer to me. He turns the console on and places a pillow over his lap, and he looks at me. "Do you want something?"

"No," I smile and set my eyes on his large screen. "No? Nothing at all?"

"No," I purse my lips and shake my head, having no idea what to do. "Fine, I leave you alone then," he does not say anything anymore but lauches one of his games, so I slightly move away but steal his pillow and lie down on my side.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing with that?" he raises his eyebrows, wanting his pillow back. I smile at him in a taunting way and stay comfortable on his sofa, with my head resting on what was on his lap a few seconds ago.

"Give me that," he points his fingers at it and drops his controller next to him, but I refuse. "No, it's mine now. I need something soft for my head."

"My lap or chest are, so give me back my pillow and find another option," he grins and comes close to grab it, sitting down next to me. "Both of those are hard, what do you mean?" I keep a grip on what I want to keep for myself, and he lets go. "What? You never touched it, how do you know that? My chest is the best pillow you could ever have."

I chuckle but bring my hand up to his torso, and I poke his chest to check if he is telling the truth. "When I work out, I focus on my chest a lot, so trust me."

"It is, I trust you," I hold back from nervously laughing, and he brushes some strands of my hair away from the side of my face. "So you can rest your head on my chest and give me my pillow back, hm?"

"How am I going to do that if you put it back on your lap?" I roll on my back. "I still need it for my back."

Feeling like I will regret not doing it, I get up and walk to his previous seat to wait for him, and in one second, he comes back and sits down. He places the pillow behind his back when I know for sure he did not need it, and he spreads his legs and taps his thigh. "Come here."

I do not climb on his lap but sit between his thighs, and I turn my body to the side to rest my head on his chest.

— Next day —

Sunday, June 4th, 2023.

10 am.

After sending a text to Jungkook to let him know he can come pick me up, I check if Angelo sent me anything and realize he did, but in the middle of the night.

< You forgot a hair pin in my house. Better not have a hidden camera on it ]

[ I dont think any camera would be small enough to not even be visible on it >

I leave the conversation since I do not expect him to answer so quickly, and I read what Jungkook sent me.

< hey, alright. I'll be there in short minutes ]

I read his text to think of something else, and without sending anything other than an 'Ok', I sit at my desk to use my computer and distract myself but check Discord to read what Enna said about Jungkook coming.

< gonna give you his speech again ]

[ the other day when we are the park, after the small fight they had, Angelo told me that if he used a girl just for sex and played with me at the same time, he wouldn't mind doing it to me either in the future if he founds another girl. Its confusing bcs both go against one another >

< well, he's right tho. On top of that, what does that Jungkook guy have to say about Angelo ? Nothing. This guy is a green flag while Jungkook is the perfect definition of red flag ]

[ he did say that Angelo is just a player so idk. I do kinda see it bcs he's the most flirty guy I've ever met but I can't tell if its just his look bcs he's very attractive or his blue doe eyes or something but yeah I haven't seen one thing that proves he's just playing around so idk >

< idk he's too sweet for that imo. Jungkook is just jealous so he's gonna use every excuse to try and take you away from him but this son of a bitch cnt hurt you let you go then suddenly come back out of nowhere because he's lonely and believe he's gonna get you back just like that. You're not his toy ]

< and honestly if I was Angelo, I'd be flirty with everyone I like and my reflection too, so hey, can't blame him bcs this mf is so hot its insane but what if he does it bcs you're flirty too? ]

[ I'm sorry, what? I'm not flirty. I'm the exact same with him as I am with you >

< well shit then. Even i sometimes question my sexuality when you give me some looks so if I were a guy, I'd take it as flirting ]

[ stop saying that it's not true. I don't do anything with my eyes but look, dont make me feel insecure about this too >

< it ain't my fault! What you mean?! I know you're not tryna flirt with me but sometimes your eyes make you look like you do ]

[ you're lying >

< sht the fuck up I'm not. Has that Jk bitch never said anything about it? ]

[ he'd just often tell me not to look at him 'with those eyes' but to me he was just doing it to make me shy >

< I knew it. Angelo definitely thinks you're flirting too. That's why he's kissing your neck so many times and did it again last night. Good luck ]

[ stop saying that. I'm gonna panic. I'm awkward I can't flirt bcs it makes me uncomfortable to even think about doing it >

< the only way to solve this problem is to ask him. If you get an opportunity, say something like 'my best friend told me some looks I give make it seems like I'm flirting with her sometimes. Do you think that too?' Or something along those line, yk? It might hit him hard if he felt like you were flirting this whole time, but hey better safe than sorry ]

[ I will... >

< it's fine, dont stress over it ]

[ I already am stressing over it. Its gonna be awkward >

< it won't:) ]

15 minutes later...

Jungkook's new text warning me that he is waiting in front of my house, I put my shoes on and step out to head to his vehicle. In a few seconds, I open the door and join him inside, and I already feel the tension affect us.

"Hey," he greets me with a warm look, and I return it as much as possible, no matter what I heard last night. "Hey. How are you?"

"Okay, and you?" he does not drive away but leaves the ignition turned off. "I'm fine. Aren't we going anywhere?"

"I...No. I feel like it's better if we just talk without anyone around. It's more comfortable," he gives a good reason to stay together in this enclosed space, and I nod to show him I agree with this idea. "I'm home alone, so we can talk in my house if you want."

"Oh, yeah then. I thought your parents were there," he opens the door on his side, and I do the same to get out. I wait for him to walk around the car and lock the doors, and I lead him to my house to both go in and have much more room.

Without telling him, he takes his shoes off like I do, and I walk up to my kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Just some water, please," he does not ask for his favorite drink, but I still take a glass out and serve him. "You can talk to me," I give him the go-ahead to broach the main reason why he came here.

Before starting, he already breaks eye contact and licks his lips, and he puts his glass down and lowers his gaze to it. "I want to apologize for what you heard last night. I was supposed to tell you the truth at some point, but I couldn't. I never had the courage to do it, never felt like the timing was good enough, and Angelo was right about the fact that I was a coward. I told you some— I mean, I was never honest about my relationship with her because I never liked her, but I want you to know and understand that I did that only because I knew she was a bad person right from the beginning," he makes fast to give himself an excuse, a pretext for doing so.

I do not judge him but only listen, but the silence that I am giving him seems to be unsettling. "He emphasized a lot of things just to make me look like an asshole because he was mad, y/n. You know I would never intend to hurt someone, right?"

"Why did you use a girl, Jungkook?" I ask, willing to know why he would ever think of doing this when he has never shown this type of mindset. "I just tried to..." he speaks with his entire body, his hands moving a lot. "I was in love with you, so I tried to get over you by being with her, but I quickly realized it wasn't working. I swear I wouldn't have done that if I knew she was a great person..."

I breathe out heavily but do not tell him what I think of this. "Why did you break up with her only after we stopped talking and not earlier though?"

"I thought about doing it many times because I knew that the only one I wanted to be with was you, but I couldn't stop thinking about what you'd think if I broke up with her to be with you. Since I always pretended to be in love with her, I felt trapped because I knew I'd eventually have to tell you the truth, and it would just not end well either..." he does not tell any lie at all, his eyes and body language proving me he is honest but ashamed. "After you stopped talking to me, I just put an end to it because it really broke me, and you have no idea how happy I was to see you again."

I gaze into his brown eyes, feeling some pain and regret about a present that could have been so different if we were sincere from the beginning. "I was happy too."

His lips curve up and soften his features that have been covered in grief, but he breaks eye contact. "I thought you wouldn't. Has Angelo not trash talked about me this whole time?"

"No. He wouldn't do that. He's just not happy with the way you've been treating him lately, so he's upset, and I tried to know what happened between you two exactly, but I've never been told," I make an attempt to hear it from him since we are right into this topic. I know I am too curious. This is not about me but them only, but still, they are both my friends.

"I'm just...We had a fight not long ago," he rubs his temple and avoids eye contact, looking troubled. "I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm at fault. I won't try to deny it. I got mad at him over something very small, and because of all the things happening, I just have a hard time not feeling some kind of hatred towards him. Even if I know it's not reasonable but that I'm just being immature."

"Why do you think so?" I indirectly ask for him to let it out, and he raises his eyes up to mine, gripping the edge of the kitchen island. "I'm jealous. That's why. I know it's wrong, but I can't control it. I can't stand to know or see him being so touchy and flirty with you..." he exposes the truth, and without knowing, puts me in a horrible position.

No word goes out of my mouth, and we both stare into each other's eyes.

"But...why haven't you told him? Maybe this could help. He would maybe understand..." I bite my inner cheek and nervously fiddle on my spot, knowing I ignored his confession.

I never knew this could happen, I never expected to be in this situation. Falling in love with two boys, and them liking you back is something that only happens in fiction, in movies, or dramas. Not real life.

"He won't. He's obviously into you. Even if he understands, he won't stop doing all the things he does just because I hate it. It's understandable though, I would do the exact same if I was in his shoes," he sees it from his point of view as well, being mature enough to do so instead of being selfish.

"It's...yeah," I cannot say much, not finding any right word. "It's okay though, I'm fine now. We spent enough time without talking, so let's not go back to that."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that," he shows his emotions through his eyes, and we both smile at each other. I do not tell him anything more, being the cause of the awkwardness, and he takes another sip of water.

His glass touching the marbled surface, he swallows and clears his throat. "I wanted to ask you something," he raises his eyes up to mine, and I nod my head to let him speak. "On that day...when you decided to put an end," he stresses me out without even the full question. "Why did you do it exactly? What was the real reason? I mean, I have an idea, but I just want to hear it from you..."

Musing on the answer and feeling like it is not worth to lie anymore since he knows, I nibble on my inner cheek and drop my eyes low. "It was hurting me. Being in love with you, knowing you were in love with her, and not being able to move on was destroying me a lot. It was really dumb of me to end our friendship for that reason, but—"

"It wasn't. I understand you, and I'm sorry for not making it easy either, it was very difficult to not hear or talk to you," he speaks the words I always wanted him to tell me. "It's fine. It's in the past now," I do not let my mind go back to that, willing to still heal and grow up. He nods, without seeming to truly agree. "We should just–" a text makes my phone ring and interrupts me.

Angelo answered me.

"I mean, whatever. It's best to just move on from the things that has been done. You've done mistakes, I made mistakes, and we will probably do more of them in the future," I do not make this last longer, hoping for the awkwardness and tension to leave us alone and allow us to have normal talks like we used to.

"You're right," he nods but glances down at my phone, which rang again. "I'm gonna leave you alone."

"You can stay if you want," I do not focus on my phone instead of him, feeling like he must already think he is bothering. "Didn't you have plans with Angelo for today?"

"Yeah, but in the afternoon," I suddenly remember something and make my way towards the fridge, next to him. "Hm. I still have some work to do at home anyway, so it's okay."

I can tell this upsets him, but I feign ignorance and take a Tupperware out. "Look," I show him the Tiramisu inside that my mom made and grab a spoon. "Try it."

"Don't tell me it still has the same taste," he digs in with no second thought, takes a big bite, and eats what used to be his favorite dessert.

"It's so good, but it feels so weird," he puts his spoon down, but I leave the Tupperware open in case he wants more. "Weird?"

"Yeah," he licks his lips and swallows. "It has that one special taste that no other has, and it brings me back to when you'd bring some every Friday, or when you'd come to my house to spend the whole day doing some dumb shit."

"We, you mean?" I point out and raise my eyebrows, and now that we are much physically closer to each other, he dives his soul into mine with a deep stare. "You'd always be the one to do dumb things, not me."

"Of course, innocent girl," he smiles but takes another bite, feeling too tempted for sure. "You totally didn't break my bed, uh?"

"Excuse me? You're the one who caused this," I straighten my back, remembering eveything he brings back, and he sneers. "What do you mean?! You jumped on my bed and broke it."

"But why did I? Because you were running after me," I give the right reason for me to have caused this. "Oh, come on. You didn't have to jump on my bed as if I was about to murder you or something, you're emphasizing the situation again."

"Emphasizing?" I laugh at this lie. "Okay then. No more Tiramisu for you," I close the Tupperware but plan on already reopening it in a few seconds. "Fine, I don't want it anymore anyway," he drops his spoon in the sink and looks into my eyes. "Why? Isn't it good enough?"

"It is, but it brings back too many memories," he licks his rosy lips as if the taste was still on them. "And you don't like them?" I quieten my voice, feeling unsure and lacking confidence with that topic. "I do, I like them, and that's the problem, but anyway," he quickly speaks about something different. "I gotta go."

"Okay, have a good day," I do not ask him to stay, knowing he does not want to, and he does not glance away. "You do too. And don't start to drink alcohol just because he does, alright? The pills you take are already too much."

"I know. I don't like the taste of it, and he wouldn't want me to either, you know it," I reassure him but feel weird about how distrustful of his best friend he is. "Yeah..." he swallows and has a glimpse of my lips.

This habit is still a thing. His eyes are always drawn to them.

The silence never ceasing, and the tension rising, he lifts one hand up to my face and brushes his thumb over my cheekbone, and my heart does that same thing again. That one I cannot control at all, but yet, which exposes my feelings I am trying to deny. "Why are you wearing makeup at home?" he softly laughs through his nose, and I move back to put the Tiramisu in the fridge. "Because you'd be here."

"And you ruin your skin with that crap just because I'm gonna see you?" he does not get the meaning, and I nod. "Yes, I've been doing this since the first day we saw each other, so stop pretending not to know."

"I do know, and you're better without makeup," he gives me this bullshit, and I act like I take it. "Hm. I still like makeup more."

"I don't," he smiles, showing some sincere emotions, some amusement. "So because you don't like it, I shouldn't wear it?"

"Not what I said," he answers with the right words, no matter how much I love how controlling he can be.

We both silently remain still while losing ourselves into one another, and it lingers, without any single hint of awkwardness or discomfort.

"Have you already kissed?"