"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."
-Shakespeare

Name: Star Acryslis. °
Birth date: June 13, 2002 °
Birth City: Uhh... does it really matter? °
Birth State: Texas. °
Favorite Food. Nutella. °
Favorite Sound: Beach °

«·•¤•·»
September 1, 2022
°•·»«·•°

Honestly, reliving these memories in order to write them down, is a pain almost too great to bare.
"Do it for the others. Do it for the others!"
I keep repeating that in my head over and over, hoping that it will squeeze a tiny drop of motivation into my mind. So far, that jar is filled up as about the amount of my empty Nutella jar.
I mean, not even the promising sun could shine bright enough, through the clouds, to make my life- Jean's life- something desirable.
To explain, it's like looking through a kaleidoscope, while everyone else gets telescopes. With a perspective of the world so different than everyone else's, a perspective complicated, and so easily changed; I saw this as a curse.
What I didn't realize though, is that by looking at the night sky, with a kaleidoscope, it will show so many more stunning stars, than an average telescope would. Not that there are any stars where Jean lived, anyways.
Though it seems, by my description, that this is an aching story; it is, but there is also beauty to it. The story must be told, for the others. I can't imagine how many lives this could save... Also, I have decided that even the emptiest of souls should be filled with the words of the love and pain in this story because, unfortunately, we learn more when there is a contradiction to the good side of things.
Currently, I sit on the window frame, of Regan's giant bedroom window, and hug my teddy bear, tight.

Name |Nïçk ñäm€| Regan Highland Rëg °
Birth date: July 8, 2002 °
B

irth City: Colorado Spring . .·

Birth State: Colorado. °
Favorite Sound: Rain. °

There has been many people that hold the opinion, that a 25 year old shouldn't have a favorite teddy bear, but Tator-Tot is never going to leave my side, as long as I live. I lay one side of my face, on window, the glass cold on my skin. In the feeling of this cinematic scene, I decide it's time to write.
Today is a rainy day and I feel the thunder make the board of the window seal vibrate, slightly. Memories. They are sprinkling down, with the rain drops. I am soaking wet with memories.
"Please, Star, Please! please, PLEASE go back now! I don't feel right here... I want to go back!"
"I'm sorry Rëg, not until I have this written. You of all people understand why this is so important..."

She walked back in with a napkin and a handful of brownie. "Oh, right" she muttered through a mouthful of brownie," but I'm going off to do something with Ryan if we wait..."
"Ugh whatever. Just don't get yourself arrested."
"No promises!" She yelled, as she walked out the door.
I close my eyes, and lay my head back. I guess this day, 5 years ago, is a good place to begin my story. I take a deep breathe and exhale. So, here it is...

«·•¤•·»

September 1, 2017
°•·»«·•°

The tip-tapping of rain grew faster on the thin roof of Bella's café. Spinning around a salt shaker on it's side, I've been sitting here for the past 18 minutes, waiting for the King of Puppy Dog Eyes- also known as, Nathan Trent. After last night, I was losing my patience, but right as I picked up my phone to call him again, the screen lit up

Disappointingly, but expected, it was not from Nathan. It was a text from Merideth, whom is the perfect person to turn to, in times of trouble or stress, or even just for the heck of it. Aside from being reliant to the maximum capacity, she's perfect at giving advice. Which, I could use a lot of, right now. The text read:

Mer: Today is a good day to doll yourself up, be a girl, and go outside to cry in the rain; since no one can see the tears through rain drops- just make sure to keep control & don't get your dress too muddy!!! Love ya, girl!

Jean: I'll keep that in mind

I was far from being in a mood, that was as optimistic as that message was. That was just like Mer, though, to send resiliant advice, right when you think the sun won't shine again.

«·•¤•·»

July 17, 2004
°•·»«·•°

Nathan, Meredith, and I grew up together, not just as neighbors, but as best friends. Meredith and I met, before Nathan met us. We always stayed in her tree house and ate kettle corn, while playing pirates. I was always the one who ended up having to "walk the plank", though it was more of a fallen branch than a plank.

One day, as I was being forced to walk the plank and I almost choked on my kettle corn.
"Mer! Get your telescope, look! Look!!"
I quickly climbed back up to her and we pushed and shoved for the telescope, but of course she won, again. A moving truck was parked two houses down, in front of a house that had been vacant, for about my entire life. That wasn't all, though. A boy that looked about our age, maybe a little older, was bouncing a ball around the adults that carried big boxes.
"Nathan Trent! You put that ball down and help these poor men!" Immediately, he did as told, by a lady with dark brown, wavy, hair.
"His name is Nathan," Meredith whispered, in a dreamy voice. Why was she gazing over there, with that weird look in her eye...?
"Do you love him?" I asked.
"Jean! No, ewwww!! He looks like God dipped him in caramel," Meredith hated caramel. Ironically, she was tanner than him, though.
"Besides, you can't love somebody, until you meet them," she finished.
"Well, what about love at first sight?" I asked.
"That doesn't really exist for girls like us, Jean... that only happens to princesses,".
I was disappointed. "Oh." I answered, looking down. But I'm pretty sure she was lying. I think she does love him. Maybe, Meredith is a princess and doesn't even know it! So many thoughts crossed my mind, at once. There were never any other kids to play with, here in the small town of Dusty Rose, Tennessee. Especially not boys.
"Well, do we go say hi?" I asked. She thought it over, then finally said, "Yes. Yes, we do."

As we got to their house, we quickly learned that the lady with wavy hair was Mrs. Trent and had a smile, warmer than fresh baked cookies- despite a lot of chaos and stress surrounding her.
"Well, hello young ladies! Are we honored enough to become your new neighbors?"
Meredith always did the talking, because I was shy.
"Yes! My name is Meredith and I am 7 years old! I live in that house right over there, with the water fountain in front and the tree house behind it," she explained, pointing down the road. "And this is my bestest friend in the whole wide world! She is 7 years old, like me," I smiled shyly, but then a voice behind us said, "Babies." We turned around to see Nathan holding the ball again, and leaning against the big truck.
"Nathan! That was very rude, show some manners to your new neighbors! You guys could become great friends,"
"But Mom... I'm 9 years old. 9 year olds don't hang out with baby 7 years olds!" he whined. Then, his eyes met mine and something stopped. Whether it was the world, or my heart, or his, there was definitely something out of the ordinary, here. His mom went back to help the moving guys, while we talked with this new, exciting boy on our street.
"So, what's your name, again?" he asked, running his fingers through his dark brown hair, the same color as his mom's.
"Meredith," she said, batting her eye lashes and moving side to side. Once we were up close to him, I thought he was very handsome and apparently, so did Mer.
"No, not you, Glitter Brain! I heard you the first time, squawking away to my mother. I was talking to your friend, over here." He nodded his head toward me. Even though his breathtaking brown eyes stared into mine, and pounded their way into my heart, I couldn't shake what he said to Mer out of my head.
I didn't think I had ever seen her look so offended and suddenly I felt the urge to stand up for her.
"You don't get to talk to my best friend like that, or call her names! Just for that, I am not going to tell you my name! We are leaving,". I pulled a sluggish Meredith behind me, grabbing her hand.
I turned to see her face and it was red, like she was about to cry. That big jerk! One day, I would find a way to get back at him. Halfway down the sidewalk though, that handsomely evil voice of his called out,
"See you around, Jean!"
Now, I know for sure that I was wrong. Meredith would never love a boy, like Nathan.

°°°

Eight years later, Nathan was living there with his alcoholic uncle and aunt that was constantly gone on business trips, since his parents passed away due to a car crash. Although, the three of us were almost equally close to each other, Nathan and I had something that grew into more than just a friendship.
Of course, Meredith and Nathan have their little "spews", but in the end, it all works out. We're all there for each other. Now, we were all in high school even though we were only freshmen and Nate was a Junior. Oh and also, quarterback, probably the most popular guy in school.

Mer and I were standing at her locker, when suddenly.... "Fee.... Fi..... Go.... Team...!!! I smell the perfume of a Bulldog Queeen!!!!!" Nathan swept me off my feet and spun me around and I swear for like 4 seconds, I was in heaven; wrapped in his muscly arms and his wet hair and... "JEAN!"
I looked down and Brendon's shin was cut, apparently by my heel. I didn't even notice. Meredith arms were around him, then, she volunteered to get a bandaid or two from the nurse.
"Brendon, I am so sorry!! Ugh I didn't even notice".
"Yeah, too busy getting swept away by Prince Charming, huh?"
Nathan glanced at me and we both blushed awkwardly; but if I could turn that awkward sweet side of Nate into a cloud, I would float on it forever.
Once the wound was bandaged and we were off to save the day! (Or go to precal, whateves, close enough). Mr. Frezenhaun greeted us at the door and I noted how each of our backs slightly straightened,as we walked into class as soldiers or something.
"Ready for the big game tonight, Trent?" "Yes, sir. of.course!" His voice deepened. It was so hot when he did that. [Nate, not the teacher, ew xD ]
My friends hated math, so I pretended I did too but secretly, it was by FAR my favorite subject.

»»»

With Mer being a cheerleader and Nathan being quarterback, it was always odd to the rest of our class why him and I, had a thing but no one questioned it too hard.
The day was coming to an end and practice was starting. Nathan drove Mer and I there. But something was off. His hugs weren't as warm as they were supposed to be. He drove without his ADTR playing.... He always had his head turned and when he got out of the car, I saw it but it seemed I wasn't the only one.
"Mer!!! No! Stop!!" But she kept going.
"Nathan, what happened to your face!??" She asked him, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
"I uh I tripped, getting in the car from the rain."
"Nope. Bruises don't form that quickly. Inside. Now."

I was so confused about what to do and livid that Mer would mess this night up. This night he promised he'd score for his parents. I know it was his uncle that abused him, but it's not like it's the first time...
"Meridith Addison! How could you!" I finally caught up with her, tripping in the mud.
"He needs help, Jean! Professional help! Not help from his little wh- I'm sorry." Her voice calmed. "I just mean he needs help from the school board, that's all." She was too scared too look into my eyes. So, she watched the rain splat into a puddle around our feet. I was almost too pissed to speak at her, but I managed.
"Mer, look. His Uncle IS the school board." Shock crossed her face.
"I... I didn't know. "
Then, Nathan stormed out to his car and skidded out, fast. The great thing about football is that it's one of the sports that goes on, despite rain.
Since I was only 15, I couldn't drive yet, I ran after him. Ignoring the yells and discouragement towards me, by other students, coaches, players. Because I knew this road he was following for some reason. Why was it so familiar..? It gave me a sick feeling. He was going way too fast. This was the road his parents were killed on.

He was going to commit suicide.