CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE; THIS IS LOVE AND WAR.

"Where are you headed?" Yeonjun asked as Sowon picked up the keys off the coffee table, Sohee was unable to look up as she played with her boyfriend's shirt collar. Yeonjun just came back from his side job, still in his uniform. Sohee loved it when he wore it because the color fit his physique, not to mention it fulfilled her desire to have a nerdy-looking boyfriend. "It's already very late for a school night. Since your sister won't reprimand you, I will."

"Save it for after the party. Sohee already said I could go, and I'm not going to change my mind," Yeonjun snapped his head toward Sohee, and she just shrugged. "Jaeyun's already there, and he'll make a hissy fit if I don't show up within the next fifteen minutes. I already dodged his texts a few nights ago, and—"

"What was that about, anyway?" Sohee remembered exactly what she was talking about. "Going to a bar? Coming home half drunk with tears pricking your eyes? You just shoved it away for another day, but we never did."

Something did overcome Sowon that day as she watched Sieun enter her house. Sieun embraced her and told her that, above all, she cared for Sowon no matter the outcome and that her stupidity would hopefully end soon. On the way back to her house, Sowon lets the liquor drive her emotions into sadness, almost willing to give up everything to see Sieun succeed. But sobering up when she entered the driveway, she suppressed her tears and walked into Sohee's worry, delaying the conversation for what seemed like now.

"I met with Sieun," Yeonjun raised an eyebrow while Sohee's jaw dropped. "Keep it lowkey, alright? And I mean with you, Choi. Just because Jaeyun is your Captain and he's my boyfriend doesn't mean you can air out my business."

"I swear it slipped!" Yeonjun defended, but the girl just rolled her eyes. "But why Sieun? Of all people you could drink with?"

"We were civil and just... talked about our feelings. It was calm and truthful. I just wanted to see what everything looked like from her perspective, although it was supposed to be whoever gets drunk first loses," Sowon knew she'd win that battle. So, figuring out that Sieun was a clear lightweight, she figured it wouldn't be fair to do that to her. "Anyway, there's no point in talking about this any further."

"Can I ask you something, Sowon?" Yeonjun began, making the girl nod. "If something were to happen between them, who would you blame first?"

Sowon was stunned. Even Sohee thought about it but couldn't really make the thought come alive. "Depends who initiated it, although Sieun has a motive," Sowon swallowed, letting it eat her up. "What about you?"

"I would never cheat on my future husband, Sowon. Why would you—"

"Honey, it's a hypothetical," Yeonjun soothed her, making the girl roll her eyes. She'd never forget that, even as Sowon smiled bashfully. "I think... I'd blame her."

"WHAT?" Sohee barked, but Yeonjun was quick to kiss her cheek. "Right. Hypothetical..."

"That's because if something happened, no matter what initiation, she was the one to accept it and not make a deal out of it. I'd wait five seconds, see what she'd think about the whole ordeal, you know?" Yeonjun said, making Sowon nod. "Yes, the man is to blame. But if both people know about the motive, and she still didn't move away or push him off, then it's on Sohee. It's all on your partner."

Sohee saw the way Sowon was frozen, her eyes searching the rug. "But, all people are different, sis," Sohee warned, making Sowon lift her gaze. "Just because Yeonjun chose this doesn't mean you should too. And, despite all, it's just a hypothetical. I know Jaeyun would never do that to you, and you know that too."

I think I do, Sowon reflected, closing her eyes for what felt longer than a second before opening them back up. But I'm not confident.

"I'll be heading out now."

"Okay," Yeonjun nodded. "I'm sleeping over, so I'll wait for you to come home. Sohee has classes, so I'll do the sibling duty of making sure you come home safely."

"Okay. Thanks. See you guys later!" Sowon waved goodbye before exiting, heading to the party. Sohee waited until the car was out of her sight before nudging her boyfriend, making him hiss.

"What?"

"You know how my sister is. Don't feed her delusions, or else she's going to blow it up on you," Yeonjun sighed, massaging Sohee's hand with his. "I don't know what I'll do when she's off at university. She's someone who ties our family together—the glue, even if she doesn't realize it."

"I'm sure all will be okay. Even tonight," Yeonjun reassured her, planting another kiss on her cheek. "Whatever happens, she knows best. We can't control her."

Sohee agreed with a nod. "You're right."

"When are you going to get here? I've been holding onto your liquor for a good fifteen minutes," Natty complained, and Sowon imagined one of her best friends rolling her eyes–and that was true, Natty did roll her eyes. "Plus, mind you, Jaeyun's been asking me every minute when you're going to get here because you haven't been answering his texts for that same amount of time."

Sowon snorted. "I'm on my way. Don't be so pushy," Sowon replied, parking her car. "It's just because I got caught up in a conversation with my sister and Yeonjun. One that I don't even want to ever bring up in my life again."

"Seems like dread–oh, actually, Sowon, could you delay your entrance for a moment?" Sowon hummed in confusion because she already closed the door, walking toward the house. "It's not that it's a bad thing or anything–or well, maybe it is, and I don't want you to get into a big fight with–"

"What the hell is going on?" Sowon's tone was laced with rage and confusion, her steps becoming fast as lightning. She made it to the house and pushed through the crowd at the door, even as Natty's pleas to delay her entrance grew quieter and quieter from everyone yelling over one another. Sowon stuck her phone back in her pocket and was immediately blocked by people at the door–that was uncommon.

So, Sowon gently pushed aside someone, but before she could do anything else, someone placed their hand on her wrist. "Sowon."

She looked at their intertwined arms and trailed her eyes upwards. "Sunghoon," She saw the worry all over his face, making her feel like something happened tonight. "What do you want?"

"I don't suggest that you move any closer," Sunghoon responded calmly–he knew he could only help her up to this extent, but if she was adamant, then he'd have to let her go. "You're not going to like what you see. I'm telling you that much."

"Sunghoon," She called his name again, removing his hand. "What am I going to be fearful of? Is it about Jaeyun?"

Sunghoon didn't respond.

Sowon's heart fell to her stomach.

She pushed past him and another person before she had enough space to see between two bodies, almost as if she had returned completely to the shadows. She saw Jaeyun looking down at a girl, who Sowon already knew had to be Hwang Sieun. Her fists clenched seeing Sieun's arms around his waist, interlocked around his back.

But, when her eyes shifted upwards, she felt like she was a crashing plane, the engine on fire, the propellers flying off, and everyone dying inside of her. Sieun was pressing her lips on Jaeyun's cheek, holding it there for everyone to see. And? The worst part?

Jaeyun never moved, his eyes widened.

Sunghoon stared down at Sowon, wishing that he could explain what happened, but there was no reason to–everything was as is. Sieun put her lips on him, and Jaeyun didn't know what to do. He knew he should push her away, but for some reason, the alcohol didn't let him, not until Sieun pulled away.

"So?" Sieun smiled innocently. "Do you like me now?"

"Fuck no," Jaeyun hissed. "I don't want to embarrass you here, but you sure know how to ruin the fucking mood. Why won't you take no for a goddamn answer?!"

"Because, Jaeyun, this is love and war," Finally, Jaeyun realized Sieun was still holding him, so he pushed away her arms. "Unfortunately, Sowon's not acting fast enough, so I have to take matters into my own hands."

"You–" Jaeyun pointed his finger at her. "Stay the fuck away from me from now on. I never want to see you again."

Jaeyun turned around, and immediately, he made eye contact with his girlfriend–or, at least, hopefully, his girlfriend. Sowon swallowed hard as the tears drove her to break eye contact, staring at the ground.

"Can I ask you something, Sowon?" Yeonjun began, making the girl nod. "If something were to happen between them, who would you blame first?"

Sowon was stunned. Even Sohee thought about it but couldn't really make the thought come alive. "Depends who initiated it, although Sieun has a motive," Sowon swallowed, letting it eat her up. "What about you?"

"I would never cheat on my future husband, Sowon. Why would you—"

"Honey, it's a hypothetical," Yeonjun soothed her, making the girl roll her eyes. She'd never forget that, even as Sowon smiled bashfully. "I think... I'd blame her."

"WHAT?" Sohee barked, but Yeonjun was quick to kiss her cheek. "Right. Hypothetical..."

"That's because if something happened, no matter what initiation, she was the one to accept it and not make a deal out of it. I'd wait five seconds, see what she'd think about the whole ordeal, you know?" Yeonjun said, making Sowon nod. "Yes, the man is to blame. But if both people know about the motive, and she still didn't move away or push him off, then it's on Sohee. It's all on your partner."

Sohee saw the way Sowon was frozen, her eyes searching the rug. "But, all people are different, sis," Sohee warned, making Sowon lift her gaze. "Just because Yeonjun chose this doesn't mean you should too. And, despite all, it's just a hypothetical. I know Jaeyun would never do that to you, and you know that too."

Sowon realized the depth of Yeonjun's explanation–that even though she knew her motives, she still wanted to scream out at Jaeyun, asking him why he didn't move. She wanted to tear him to shreds because this was technically cheating, but if she had no grounded explanation from him, then there was no reason for breaking it off. She was at the crossroads between moral right and wrong, and also even her definitions of right and wrong.

Instead, Sowon let her tears build up but never fall. "I'm going home," She told Sunghoon, side-stepping him. Sunghoon wanted to reach out, a hand lifted in the air, but realizing that Sowon was already too weak, he lowered his hand. "Sorry that I didn't listen to you."

"Don't apologize," Sunghoon said. She didn't respond and, instead, walked away. Sunghoon glared at Jaeyun, seeing his face dawn in horror, and finally, realizing that the door was opening, Jaeyun sprinted for her.

"Sowon!"

It's not what you think. That's what he's going to say, Sowon closed her eyes tight as she began jogging to her car–but knowing that he'd recognize it, Sowon had to think quickly. Squatting behind a bush, Jaeyun sprinted right by, leaving Sowon to sigh. What are you doing, Sowon, hiding from him? Don't you want the truth?

But maybe the truth would be even worse than the vision.

"Sowon?" Jaeyun whispered into the air, tears stinging his eyes. When she was nowhere to be found, he started sobbing, panicking. He didn't want to lose her. No, if there was anything that could kill him, it would be that. "Sowon, please. Please come back to me."

She stood behind him, watching as he broke down. If only he turned around, he would see her, and then, things would be "solved." It brought her to tears, knowing that he had broken her trust, so in the end, instead of waiting, she muttered his name. "Jaeyun."

And his head spun back around, his destroyed face almost making the dam of her glassy eyes break. "Sowon."

"I don't want to talk to you right now," Sowon gritted her teeth, trying to communicate despite the rage that was beginning to root itself in its heart. "I'd appreciate if you could give me a day or two–"

"No. I can't. I don't want you to leave me, Sowon," Jaeyun took a step forward, but Sowon was quick to step back. "I can explain everything if you give me a chance. I don't want us to be upset with each other, and I don't want things to break between us."

Sowon stared at him, wordless. "Let me explain it to you, please," His desperation spoke volumes. Jaeyun wanted to resolve things before he let her go home, or he was sure that she'd never talk to him again. "I can put it into words if you just give me time. Please don't let it slide."

Letting it slide. Something Sowon was incapable of doing, but for Sieun, for the girl she met when she wasn't sober and was laying out what was buried inside her heart...

"I can't do it tonight. Let's talk in a few days."

And as Sowon drove away, finally capable of sobbing without her boyfriend to watch,

Sowon did let it slide.