CHAPTER NINETEEN ; THE FIRST ONE HE RISKS IT ALL FOR.

"Nope, she's not here," Xinyu shook her head, causing Jaeyun to furrow his eyebrows. He looked over her shoulder just to confirm it, but Xinyu blocked him. "I'm serious, Jaeyun. She isn't here, and we're currently in a game right now, so you coming here and disrupting practice isn't a good look for you. She already left."

"Do you know where she went?"

"I can't tell you that," Xinyu shook her head, but Jaeyun pleaded with his eyes. "Seriously. Get lost. If you want to see her so much, how about you just text her yourself and ask if you guys can meet up?"

"You think I haven't tried, Xinyu?" Jaeyun groaned, rubbing his face. "She hasn't been picking up my calls or texting me back. Nobody's telling me where she is and why she left. I just want answers, and if I fucked up somehow, then at least like to know what I did."

Xinyu pursed her lips in distaste. "You've been fucking up a lot of things recently, Jaeyun, haven't you?" She asked. "And I'm not saying this because I have an idea of what you did–in fact, almost nobody fucking knows why she's been leaving early. But, do you not have any clue what you did to her that made her leave?"

Jaeyun tried to remember. He searched the back of his brain for things he might've said during every conversation they had, but none could really point to why she'd leave the game. "Hey, Xinyu, what's taking you so long–oh, Jaeyun," Natty fixed her helmet on her head, staring up at him. "What are you doing here? Sowon's not here."

"I told him that," Xinyu sighed. "Sowon's gone MIA on him, so he's looking for answers."

"Well," Natty grinned. "Have you tried–"

"Yes. I've tried her middle school ice skating rink, her house, this ice skating rink, the cafe you told me to buy the food from, and the park by her house," Jaeyun said, spooking the two ice hockey players. "I've tried everything, and I'm getting desperate. I want to speak to her."

Natty felt bad for him, but she had a sense that he deserved it. "You weren't like this when we were dating–I guess you cherish her a lot, right?" Jaeyun couldn't respond. "If she comes to practice tomorrow, I'll text you."

"Okay," Jaeyun agreed in defeat. "Thanks, you two. I'll see you around."

"Bye, Jaeyun," The two said in sync, waving. As he left the ice rink, Xinyu sighed, pitying the sullen playboy. "Do you feel bad that we lied to him?"

"A little bit. But, to say that to someone when he knows our Captain might've been listening... hell, she's better than me. I would've slapped him to shit," Natty murmured. "But, why would he even say that after everything he's done for her? I'm even confused."

"Men are a hard species to understand," Xinyu sighed, both of them turning back to the rink. "I'm sure he was trying to look cool in front of his friends, and the thought of her overhearing it didn't cross his mind. You think he likes her, right?"

"Of course I do," Natty said. Who knew him better than her? She was one of his longest relationships–the longest being three weeks. "But, will he get over himself? I'm not sure."

As they walked into the ice rink, Sowon was sitting on the bench. She saw them in her peripheral vision and twisted her head in their direction, waving. "We shooed him off for you," Xinyu gave her a thumbs up.

"Thank you both," Sowon got up, winking. "As much as I'd like to face it, I'm still pretty hung up about it. That crushed my pride a little."

"I would hope so!" Xinyu slammed down the tip of her stick. "How dare he say such a thing about you!"

"He's right, unfortunately," Sowon stretched her back, groaning. "We're nothing. Just... friends."

Xinyu and Natty couldn't respond to that–they just looked at each other in uncertainty, watching their Captain get back on the rink with the skates he gifted to her, more vigilant than ever. Sowon has gotten way better now that she has new and luxurious skates, causing her to be as fast as a bird in the wind. But, she also couldn't lie that having these skates made her feel special, and that added to wanting to be a better player.

The next day came around, and each ice hockey player got a turn in the rotation to stop Jaeyun from coming into the rink. It happened day,

after day,

after day,

after day.

To the point that Jaeyun resorted to the most desperate of ways to try and reach her.

"Nope!" Hikaru exclaimed. Jaeyun looked at the other Japanese student, Rei, for confirmation. She nodded her head. "Captain Ryu isn't here. Say, why do you keep coming back here knowing that she leaves early all the time?"

"Because I know that you both are lying to me–and everyone's been lying to me this whole time!" He fumed, rubbing his face. "Listen. Please just let me talk to her for one fucking minute. It'll be quick, and you all can be there. I'm not going to harass her!"

"Listen, Jaeyun," Rei sighed. "It's not that we're willingly trying to be difficult. It's that we're just as concerned as you are. We don't know what happened and why it's been fucking with her time at practice. If you did something to her, then this would be the second time you've mentally traumatized our captain."

Rei had a good point. Jaeyun was doing a lot of bad things. "And," Hikaru added, wincing. "If you really care about her, why would this have happened?"

"I'm trying to figure that out myself–" He realized he was wasting time. Talking with them was pointless. "I'm leaving. I'll come back tomorrow."

So, he went to his emergency contact–hoping that of all the people who were close to Sowon, he'd have the answers.

"What?" Sunghoon placed his hands on his hips, water dripping down his body. Jaeyun sighed, unable to repeat himself. "You're asking me if I've seen her? Of course, I have."

"Where?" Jaeyun asked swiftly. "Where can I find her, Sunghoon?"

"I mean during school," Jaeyun groaned, tossing his head back. Sunghoon loved teasing his friend. "I'm just playing. Although we eat lunch together and walk to class sometimes, that's not what I meant. She's been coming to the pool to watch us practice or, really, just talk to me."

"You know damn well that she wouldn't do that just for you," Sunghoon gave him a cocky tilt of his head, acting snarky. "Sunghoon."

"Jaeyun."

"Don't piss me off," Sunghoon laughed at his best friend's words, shaking his head. "It's an emergency, dude."

"I'm being fully honest!" Sunghoon defended, patting his shoulder. Jaeyun tried to smudge away the water droplets on his shirt, grimacing. "Listen. Come tomorrow and see for yourself. She's gotten quite close with the team and she's been acting like our manager. She told me that she needed some time away from the ice rink because she's having a hard time, and no matter how much I pry, Sowon won't open up."

Then, Sunghoon took a step forward, inspecting Jaeyun from head to toe. "But, I guess it must be because of you. Right?"

"Asshole," Jaeyun commented. "Fine. I'll fucking come back tomorrow. But God forbid that you lie to me, Park, and I'll waterboard you in this pool. Okay?"

"Sounds like a deal!" Sunghoon waved foolishly, observing Jaeyun stomping away. "Bye, Jaeyun!"

The next day came, and just like Sunghoon prophesied, Sowon was at the pool. She drifted her feet through the water as Sunghoon and the team worked on their different strokes in the pool. Sunghoon remained next to Sowon, his slightly defined arms propped on the floor Sowon sat on. "Jaeyun came to visit me yesterday," He told her, causing the Captain to look down at him. "He looked pretty distraught–like he was on the verge of tears."

Sowon raised her eyebrows. "I never thought he'd be the one to come to you about me," Sunghoon tilted his head, causing her to chuckle. "I've been avoiding him for a little bit. He came to the ice rink every day to try and see me, but I've been telling the players to turn him away. I guess you were his last resort."

"I guess so. It looked like he didn't want to speak to me at all when he came to see me yesterday," The two laughed in sync, holding eye contact. "What's the avoiding about, anyway? Did he do something to you? Do I have to teach him a lesson?"

"You'll probably get beaten to a pulp," Sunghoon rolled his eyes. If Sowon was watching, he'd surely try his best. "But, no. I'll confront him when I feel ready to."

Then, Sowon sighed, letting the words slip from her lips. "Can I ask you a question, though?"

Sunghoon jumped onto the pool floor, taking a seat next to her. "Sure, Sowon."

"Do you think... Ice hockey girls are hard to like?" Sunghoon furrowed his eyebrows, frowning at the insecurity coming from his crush. "I mean, we are peculiar and brutal. It's very hard to look pretty wearing shoulder pads and a helmet. If we don't have an urge to impress, then do people fall for us?"

"I think that if someone likes someone else, they don't care about how they present themselves or how they look," Sunghoon answered honestly. "So what if you play ice hockey? Some people dig that. If others don't, then they aren't for you. There will be someone out there who loves you for who you are."

She smiled slightly, but it fell again. "Then, is it just me who's not very likable?" She muttered. "I'm a virgin in every way, shape, and form. I'm a monster on the ice. I'm a cocky piece of shit. People hate me because I'm not very feminine."

"But," Sunghoon paused, admiring her side profile. "You're a good friend. You're gentle with your peers. You laugh at everything, not to mention how pretty your laugh is. You are very brave and strong. You get along with everyone you meet. You're the best ice hockey player. You're innocent and untainted. You're beautiful, Sowon. So, who gives a damn how people see you? Be content with yourself."

Sowon couldn't help but snicker, her mood boosted by his compliments. "I never thought you saw me in that light, Nemo."

His heart fluttered at the nickname she gave him. "I've always seen you in this light, Sowon," He confessed, hoping that it didn't seem like a direct love confession. "As I said, there will always be someone to cherish you, no matter what you do."

Sowon smiled, placing her hand on his bare shoulder. "Thanks, Sunghoon. You're a really good friend, you know that?"

Ouch.

His face fell as he instantly got friend-zoned, the boy clearing his throat. "I would hope so," He concealed his rejection with an awkward laugh, gripping the edge of the pool. "But, if you're hoping for a certain person to cherish you, Sowon... are you sure he doesn't already?"

She snorted. "He definitely doesn't. I heard it from him."

That confirmed Sunghoon's suspicions–Jaeyun said something. "When?"

Sowon wondered if it was worth telling his best friend. She was hoping that after their short talk, Sunghoon would side with her. "I overheard him telling his soccer teammates that he wasn't into me and he never would be. I'm not his type."

Then, Sowon widened her eyes slightly. "It's not like I'm interested in him or anything! I'm just saying it hurt my pride that he was adamant I would never be someone he'd consider in any way. I felt like I wasn't someone fitting for romance."

"He's just pulling shit from his ass, Sowon. I reassure you, he has a spot in his heart just for you," Sunghoon smiled, although bitter that his friend was winning this war. "Besides, why would he come to the pool and the ice rink every day to see if you'd be there?"

"To... make amends?"

"Okay, but why hasn't he given up yet?"

"Because he cares about our friendship?"

"Not your friendship," Sunghoon chuckled. "He cares about you as a woman. If you're angry with him, it makes him feel less than a man. He's practically courting you if you ask me."

"That's what Narae said," Sowon muttered. "And when she said that, all hell broke loose. Why should I believe you."

"Because I know my best friend, Sowon," Sunghoon replied. "I've seen him fall in love with someone once, and he did the same thing to her."

"He..." She trailed off. "Loved someone?"

"Yeah–when he was still young," Sunghoon chuckled. "He was in his first year of high school. He courted her in the same way he's acting with you. They started dating, they got intimate, and then, she broke his heart. That changed him forever."

"I don't really believe in putting a label on things," Jaeyun turned to the TV as well. "I feel like that restricts things, and I prefer to experiment."

She snorted, covering it up by dropping her head. "Even with your women?"

"Yeah," Jaeyun knew he sounded stupid. "I look for girls who are looking for the same things as me."

"Natty wasn't one of them."

"Not at the time we dated," Jaeyun shook his head, chuckling. "A lot of the girls I dated early on wanted labels, and I'd get nervous and fuck it up by getting with other girls. I haven't dated a single girl since my first year–I just go on dates and we end up making out."

Sowon chuckled. "You don't do anything more?"

"No. I've only ever done it o– remind me why we're having this conversation again?"

"He looked for relationships with other people, trying to fill the void," Sunghoon explained. "Never could. So, he's just played with girls since."

Then, Sunghoon laughed a little bit, staring at Sowon again. "But, I don't doubt you could be the first, Sowon."

"First what?"

Sunghoon leaned back, causing Sowon to twist her head a little further. "The first one he risks it all for."

Sunghoon caught a glimpse of Jaeyun at the glass doors, his fists clenched and his jaw locked. Jaeyun wasn't brave enough to interrupt their conversation nor get close enough to hear it, so he stood there, watching Sunghoon gain the upper hand once more.

Sunghoon smirked as Sowon flushed red, swallowing hard. "You're... you're crazy," Sowon stuttered, looking away. "Seriously insane, Nemo. Go practice."

"Kay!" Jaeyun turned away when Sunghoon jumped back in the pool, his heart being juiced like an orange. He placed a hand on the tile wall as his heart palpitated cruelly, biting down on his lower lip to cope with the pain.

"Fuck, Sowon," He whispered, eyes tight. "What have you done to me?"