Chapter 29

The Bliss

I blew some air as I closed and locked the door of my unit.

"This is making my head ache."

Those douchebags! Binagsak pa ng mga ito si Quentin sa kama bago nagmamadaling lumabas. Dumako ang paningin ko sa brown paper bag na may mga libro tungkol sa pagbubuntis.

Well, it's a good thing they immediately left. I really don't want any other people to know about my pregnancy.

Ah. It feels like a dream that I've been given a chance to be a mother again.

Wait, right! I have to go to Q. Maybe he's throwing up on the bed right now. I rushed in the master's bedroom and found him sitting on the bed, looking quite disgruntled.

His blonde hair was in a mess on top of his head. Nakalihis naman ang kanyang maluwag na shirt habang gusot-gusot ang puting slacks.

Narinig yata nito ang mga yapak ko dahil kumunot ang kanyang noo. Nang matitigan ang kanyang gwapong mukha na may pasa at sugat sa bandang labi, nakagat ko ang labi ko sa inis.

"Wynfrost?" Nagmadali ako sa paglapit at kumandong sa kanya. Nakita ko siyang tumalima at tumaas ang mga kilay bago hinawakan ang gilid ng bewang ko.

Nilapit ko ang mukha ko sa kanya at hinalikan ang kanyang sugat sa labi. Nalinisan na ito kanina bago namin siya nilipat dito kaya nagpatuloy ako sa pagbigay sa kanya ng maliliit na halik.

Nagulat na lang ako nang humalik siya pabalik at sinipsip ang mga labi ko na para bang iyon na ang pinakanatural na bagay sa sitwasyong ito.

"W-Wait..." I held his face and inched mine away. "Hindi ka pa nakakain, 'di ba?"

He blinked a few times and smiled slyly.

"Doesn't matter. I can fill you in without eat—ow!"

Nasapok ko ito sa ulo.

"Should I sober you up with another smack?!" singhal ko rito. "You—"

He shut me up with a quick kiss so I gaped at him.

"What? You're the one who wanted to give me a smack."

Natampal ko ito sa mukha dahil sa kakornihan nito. I felt my cheeks redden at how I'm so affected with such a kiss when I'm the one who just showered him with kisses.

Could I get any cheesier?!

I cleared my throat

"S-So," I began. "What do you want to eat?"

"You."

Bago ko pa ito masapak, binuhat ako nito nang biglaan kaya napatili ako. Bago pa ako makapagprotesta, pabagsak niya akong nilapag sa kama kaya malakas iyong napalundo sa pagkadagan niya sa akin.

"Quentin! Get off me!"

"No can do," he whispered as he pinned my hips on the bed with his arm. "I'll have my dinner now."

"Quentin!" May pagbabanta na ang tono ko dahil malapit na akong bumigay sa pagbibiro nito. He gave me a hearty laugh before his skillful hand slid inside my jeans, and eventually my underwear. My hands pressed on his arm to stop him but his hand still went on with its sensual journey.

Ilang segundo lang ay naramdaman ko na ang mga daliri niya sa hiwa ko. Kinikiskis niya ito sa aking pagkababae hanggang sa buong pwersa niyang binaon ang mga daliri sa aking loob.

He pumped his fingers in my pussy a few times as I squirmed beneath him. His face flushed in excitement when my juices started coating his fingers. A playful grin was on his face while his free hand unbuttoned my jeans, then pulled down. My hips bucked up because his slender digits softly brushed on my inner leg.

He slowly withdrew his fingers from my core then slowly put it inside his mouth. He sexily licked and sucked on them, as if tasting my juices like a perverted bastard. Mapaglaro ang kanyang pagsipsip habang napapaungol kaya natakpan ko ang aking bibig para hindi nito malamang gustong-gusto ko ang nakikita.

"You taste great." Ngumuso ako sa diretsa niyang linya at napansing ngumiti ito nang misteryoso sa akin. "But I'm not going to eat you today, baby." Then, he murmured. "Next time when I—" he paused and his face became cold in an instant. "I'll have to call my family now before I change my mind."

"Huh?" Why'd he have to call them? "What do you—" And it hit me. There was only one reason why he decided to do that. "Don't tell me—!"

Napabalikwas ako at napaupo na parang estatwa. Siya naman ay umupo roon nang walang bakas na emosyon sa mukha.

"Yes, I'll let them fix my eyes."

Holy shit!

"No!" sigaw ko rito habang inaalala ang mga pupwedeng mangyari kapag makikita niya ako. What if he'll find out I'm pregnant?

"N-No?" He looked like he had swallowed a bitter pill after hearing what I said. Tila hindi siya makapaniwala sa pagtutol ko sa kanyang desisyon. "Don't you want me to see?" I was quiet as I stared at his blank eyes. "Don't you want me to see you?"

"Napipilitan ka lang hindi ba?" seryoso kong tanong sa kanya. "I thought you'd live your life in punishment. Why do you want to—"

"It's not sudden." He shook his head. "I've been thinking about it a lot, for so long since I..." He mumbled something I couldn't quite hear then I saw his neck flush red.

I blinked a few times when the redness went to his face.

Hindi ko kayang isipin kung bakit mas lalo siyang naging perpekto sa paningin ko. Kailangan kong ituon ang atensyon sa gusto nitong mangyari. If his eyes get fixed, I'm afraid what will happen to him and me. And the baby. It's better for him to be blind forever.

I frowned at that selfish thought.

"Quentin, I'm sorry for saying "no" earlier." I have to do this for myself, for my child, and for him. "If your eyes get fixed, this will be the end of this arrangement."

"What?!" bulalas niya. "Why? Why would you cut ties with me?"

"Because I like having sex with a blind—"

"Bullshit," he coldly said with a frowning face. "What's the real reason why you don't want me to see?"

I racked my head for a good reason and blurted out another nonsense.

"I'm ugly!"

"Who cares?" he deadpanned. He seemed to say that without even thinking. "I don't care if you're ugly."

Uminit ang ulo ko dahil doon.

"Excuse me, maganda ako! Ako ang pinakamagandang—shit." Natampal ko ang sarili dahil para na akong baliw sa mga sinasabi.

He chuckled for a while and said darkly, "Make up your mind, woman." I winced out of nervousness. "May tinatago ka ba sa akin?"

"N-Nothing!"

Great, Wynfrost. You just gave away what you're thinking.

"Now I'm curious what you're hiding from me so I'll push through with this decision." A-Ano? So he'll choose to be away from me? Well, isn't that what I want? "We'll break up."

"What break up? I'm not your girlfriend, dumbass!"

"Whatever," he said and squinted his eyes. "When we break up, it doesn't matter anyway." Hah. Ano pa bang ini-expect ko? That he and I will be sexual partners forever? Tsk. "I know you can't resist me." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mariyalisa ang gusto nitong sabihin. "You love my cock, right?"

"You dick!"

Humalakhak ito na para bang baliw habang ako naman ay namumula sa pinaghalong inis at hiya.

"Whatever your reason is, Wynfrost, I'm sure you can't run away from me." I swallowed hard when he pinned me on the bed again. His pretty face was inches from mine when he whispered with a silly grin, "I like fucking your pussy so much."

Fuck.

Walang pag-aalinlangan kong hinawakan ang mukha niya at inuntog ang noo ko sa kanyang noo. Napa-aray ito sa sakit pero suminghal lang ako.

"Quit saying nonsense, idiot!"

"Amazona ka talaga," sabi niya. Akala ko aalis na ito sa ibabaw ko kaya napaawang ang bibig ko nang lumapit pa siya hanggang sa isang galaw na lang ay mahahalikan na niya ang mga labi ko.

My breathing hitched when I smelled his familiar scent.

I closed my eyes and stuck my tongue out to lick his lips. I heard him groan and felt his huge member rubbing on my thighs.

"You're right," I mumbled and held his neck and pulled him close. I gave him one deep kiss and muttered, "I love your cock."

~

I was blind for most of my life. Literally, figuratively, I'm blind all the way.

My family lied to me. My friends lied to me. My lover lied to me.

"Anak natin siya, Noah kahit hindi siya sa atin nanggaling!"

"Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo Lera?! Mas importante pa ba si Wynfrost sa sarili nating anak?!"

"Kailangan natin ng pera, pero hindi sa ganitong paraan natin makukuha!"

"Sa anong paraan?! Ito ang pinakamadali! Kailangan nang operahan ang anak natin!"

"At sa tingin mo ba kapag ibibigay natin si Wynfrost sa kanila, tatratuhin siya roon nang maayos! Kaya bulag si Wynfrost dahil sa kanila!"

"Lera, parang awa mo na. Piliin mo ang anak natin. Kaya na ni Wynfrost ang sarili niya. Matalino 'yan kaya siguradong hindi 'yan pababayaan!"

"Naririnig mo ba ang sinasabi mo?! Pati nga pampa-opera ni Wynfrost ay ayaw nilang ibigay noon! Wala silang pakialam sa kanya!"

"Tsk. Baka may pakinabang naman 'yan kahit papaano. Lagi lang nagpipinta! Bakit mo ba kasi kinunsinti na magfine arts 'yan. Atsaka nag-Accountancy nga pero hindi naman pala gagamitin! Nagsayang lang nga ng pera!"

"Noah, ano bang pinagsasabi mo ha? Anak natin siya!"

"Wala akong anak na ganyan! Akala mo hindi ko alam? May saltik 'yang batang 'yan! Lahat ng nambully sa kanya laging na-a-aksidente! Bakit ba hindi pa 'yan nakukulong?!"

"Manahimik ka Noah! Baka marinig ka ni Wynfrost!"

"Wala akong pakialam kung marinig ako ng baliw na batang 'yan!"

..........

"A-Ah, Wynfrost? Pasensya ka na. Na-cancel yung plano namin na mag-movies eh. Next time na lang."

"You invited that antisocial freak?"

"I lied to her to get rid of her. You know, I don't like to be the bad girl here. I'm too pretty!"

"Hay. Tsk. Bakit pa kasi pinagtatyagaan ang babaeng 'yan?"

"Come on. Wala nang mas tatalino sa baliw na 'yan. Kaya nga mataas ang grades ko dahil nagpapakopya 'yan! Hahahaha!"

"Ang tanga-tanga niya naman! Nagpapa-uto siya sa'yo?"

"Minsan ang mga matatalino sa school ang talagang tanga sa buhay! Hahahahaha!"

"Alam mo ba, kaya wala nang nambubully kay Wynfrost dahil naaaksidente sila lagi. Parang sumpa ba."

"Sumpa? Yeah right. I bet she devised a plan to get rid of them."

"Nakakatakot din pala siya, ano?"

.........

"W-Wynfrost? Did you do this?! Did you?!"

"Baliw ka ba?! How could you?!"

"Bakit?! Bakit mo nagawa ito?!"

"Halimaw ka! Lumayas ka sa harapan ko!"

..........

"I'll help you fit in, you crazy girl. They won't even know you used to be such a sicko. Nobody will love you."

..........

"R-Rondel, anong ibig sabihin nito?!"

"N-No! I can explain!"

"Walanghiya ka! Tangina mo! Nagtiwala ako sa'yo gago!"

"No, please, babe. Hindi ko na uuli—bakit ka dinudugo?!"

"No! No! My baby! My baby!"

"B-Buntis ka?! Paanong—"

"M-My baby..."

..........

"Wynfrost, Wynfrost!" I burst out crying as I heard Q panicking. I blinked a few times while my eyes were clouded with tears. For a second there, I thought I was blind again. "Baby, are you okay? You were crying in your sleep."

Ilang segundo ang lumipas ay nakita ko na ang nag-aalala nitong mukha. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero agad akong napaiyak nang sobra nang makita ko siya ulit. Niyakap ako nito nang mahigpit at binaon ko na naman

"Q!" sabi ko habang patuloy na humahagulgol. "Q, buntis ako."

"Ssh, tahan na baby." I wailed in his arms while my tears kept on flowing.

Naramdaman ko pa rin ang takot galing sa bangungot ko kaya hinaplos ko ang aking tiyan sa sobrang pangamba.

Dahil sa walanghiyang pagmamahal na 'yan, sa walang kwentang tiwala, nasaktan ako.

That will never happen again. I'll make sure of that. I have to do something now before I could change my mind.

I'm falling and it's not supposed to happen. Funny. It was all about fun at first but every time I see his damn smile, I can't help but hope.

But who wouldn't fall for someone as beautiful as Quentin?

But I knew from the start, nobody's going to love me. The baby in my stomach is the only one who could. Nobody else.

I slowly stopped crying and stared at Q. He looked so worried that I frowned.

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve him.

Unti-unti akong kumalas mula sa kanya at dahan-dahang lumayo.

"Quentin, I'm pregnant." I tried to blink away the tears after thinking about what I have to do.

I have to leave before it'll be too late.

"Yes, I heard you the first time," seryoso niyang sabi. "Is the child mine?"

Kahit natural na iyong tanong dahil hindi namin mahal ang isa't isa, nasaktan pa rin ako.

I want to say it's his but I shouldn't.

"It's Rondel's child," pagsisinungaling ko pero pinatatag ko ang aking boses.

Gusto na ni Q magpa-opera kaya ano pa bang silbi ko? He's planning to move on and I can't be with him, not when I have too much in my life right now. I just can't. Ayoko ring gawing mas komplikado ang buhay niya.

Nanatili siyang tahimik habang tila pinoproseso ang sinabi ko kaya hindi ko mapigilang maiyak ulit sa sakit na nakikita sa mukha niya.

"What are you planning to do now?" tanong ni Quentin makalipas ang ilang minuto. "Does he know?" Mapakla itong natawa. "I'm sure he does. Kaya kayo nagkita 'di ba dahil doon?"

"How did you—"

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled and scratched his neck. "So do you want to end this right now?" Mahinahon lamang iyon pero klarong may inis sa kanyang sinabi.

I stiffled a sob and said, "Yes." Katahimikan ulit ang naghari sa pagitan namin bago ako nagpatuloy. "Before Rondel's wedding, I have to go far away."

His mouth dropped open and for a second, I found it hilarious.

"How about your child? Lalaki siyang walang ama?" He sounded unsure while the words tumbled out of his lips. I can't help but shed a tear.

Quentin shouldn't know I'm carrying his child but we couldn't be separated in such bad terms. He has to move on. Malay natin kung makakita na siya ulit, makakahanap siya ng bagong Floell sa buhay niya.

"I'll take care of my child." Napabuntong-hininga ako. "Ayaw rin naman siyang tanggapin ni Rondel," I lied for the nth time that I couldn't help but laugh. "We'll be fine," bulong ko.

"Talaga bang ito ang dahilan kaya ka magpapakalayo-layo?"

I sadly smiled and decided to tell him the truth for once.

"To be honest, I'm just afraid. I'm afraid to hope because there's nothing there." Kadiliman. Lagi na lang kadiliman. "Magpapakalayo-layo na ako bago pa ako may maling magawa. You knew what I did to Rondel's lover, Q. Who knows what else I could do?"

"But Wynfrost, you were just..." He paused and I knew exactly what he's thinking.

"I'm just angry, yes but I should be able to retain my humanity. Pero may mga pagkakataong nawawala ako sa katinuan kaya nakakagawa ako ng mga bagay-bagay." Kumunot ang kanyang noo, tila hindi maintindihan ang sinasabi ko. "I did bad things to the ones who raised me, Q so I have to pay for what I did and I have to go far away from my supposed to be family because I hate them. Alam kong anong klaseng pamilya ang pinagmulan ko." His brows furrowed at that but he still listened. "So, I have to go. I can't depend on those people. They can't have my child. I won't let them have my life again."

"Paano kung akuin ko ang bata?" Dumagundong ang kaba sa dibdib ko. "What if I marry you?"

I laughed at his crazy idea. What a guy.

"No, I don't want to make you responsible for what I did." Iyon naman ang katotohanan. Ayokong mapilitan si Q na pakisamahan ako dahil sa anak namin. "And I'm not really wife material."

"How could you know that?" sarkastiko niyang sabi.

"I just know," I snapped at him so he raised his arms in surrender.

"Fine, whatever. I just got rejected after proposing." Namula ako dahil sa sinabi nito. "Damn. Do you really have to go? Why now? When I—"

"It'll be too late if I don't go now, Q."

Biglaang sumeryoso ang kanyang mukha kaya akala ko na kung anong sasabihin niya.

"I'll miss your pussy."

Nasapok ko ito sa ulo.

"There are other pussies, idiot!"

Ngumuso ito na parang bata kaya muntik ko na itong makurot sa panggigigil. Fucking cute.

"But I want your pussy!"

"Shut up!" sigaw ko dahil sa hiya.

Another silence came upon us so I could only stare at his bright brown eyes while trying to picture out my next painting.

I couldn't receive my wishes after all.

"Are you running away?" biglaan niyang tanong kaya sandali akong nagitla.

Napaisip ako at hindi na nagsinungaling. Maybe he can forgive me if I tell him a little bit of truth.

"Yes, I'm running away." Parang may gusto pa siyang itanong pero inunahan ko na siya. "Goodbye, Quentin."

Malalim siyang napabuntong-hininga bago bumulong, "Goodbye, baby." His blind eyes looked straight at me as if they could really see me. "I wish I could help you or make you happy but I can't because I'm also broken as hell."

For a while, you already did and I couldn't ask for more.

"It's fine, Q. I had fun with you."

He frowned and dramatically touched his chest.

"How hurtful. You sound like you just played with my feelings." Natatawa ko siyang nilapitan at niyakap. His arms circled around my waist and buried his face on the crook of my neck. "You made me happy these days, Wynfrost. I couldn't disrespect your decision but remember, I'll be here, always."

Tumulo na nang tuluyang ang luha ko.

"Don't look for me," I said.

Have I already fallen?