The laundry in this house never ended.  The number of clothes Jack dirtied by simply existing was mind-boggling.  Add a messy three-year-old and two active teenagers and it was a recipe for laundry hell.  I decided to tackle some more of the kids' stuff, hoping that would get us through the weekend.  I pushed the little kids' door open and grabbed their hamper.  I sorted the whites and darks and started a load of darks. 

Into Joey's room, which was pristine as usual.  She even had a hamper with two pockets so I didn't have to separate them.  I picked up her darks and set them in the hallway, then opened my son's room.

Joey and Elliott were on his bed, his hand up her shirt as they made out.  Immediately they jumped apart, looking like deer in headlights.  Joey's face flushed a shade of red I'd never seen before.  I sighed, putting one hand on my hip.

"Really?  You two?" I asked, looking between them.  Both looked down at their feet, embarrassed.  "Didn't you just hate each other, like, last week?"

"Our feelings have changed," Elliott told me.

"Obviously," I deadpanned and sighed.  "Joey, go to your room.  We'll all talk about this later."

"Don't tell my dad!" she begged me.

"Why not?" I asked her.

"Because it's embarrassing!" she said, incredulous.

"Joey, it's perfectly natural to want to explore...things at your age," I said.  "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Well I am!" she said, standing and adjusting her top.  "Please, can we keep this between us?"

"Absolutely not," I told her.  "Go.  Do homework."

Joey quickly scurried away and I heard her door close.  I turned back to my son, who looked mortified.

"I know your father's already had the sex talk with you," I said as I walked to his laundry basket.  "Josephine needs to be off limits."

"Why?" he asked, meeting my eyes.

"Because she's practically your step-sister.  It's not appropriate to have relations with someone living in the same house."

"Says the woman who's screwing her roommate?" he countered.

"Hey!" I raised my voice.  "We are adults and it's a completely different situation."

"How?" he stood, his stance challenging.  "Joey and I aren't related.  How's it any different from me dating any other girl at school?"

"Because you live with her," I reminded him.  "What's gonna happen?  Are you gonna sneak into each other's rooms at night?  You're already at second base apparently."

"We're not gonna have sex, Mom," he said as I dumped out his laundry.  He helped put all the darks back in the basket. 

"Well that's reassuring," I huffed.  I knew how teenage hormones worked.  They'd get caught up in the moment and then everything would be out the window.

"I have condoms, if you're worried," he said as I picked up his basket.

"Elliott, just....stop," I told him, putting my fingers to my temple.  I did not want to think about the fact that my son had condoms in his room.  When had he gotten them and how long had he had them?  Had he used any?

Both teenagers hid in their rooms for the afternoon.  I started dinner while Jack napped.  Alex was still at daycare and Lin would pick her up on the way home.  Around 6:00 they walked through the door laughing.  Lin set her on the floor and she ran to her toys instantly.

He walked over to me and kissed my cheek, snaking his arm around to my hip.  "That smells good," he commented.

"Thanks," I said, then felt him brush my hair behind my shoulder.  His lips found my neck and he pressed multiple kisses to my skin.  He must have felt me tense.

"Something the matter?" he asked.

"Our children," I told him simply as I stirred at the pot.  Lin leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms.

"Uh-oh," he said.  "What happened?"

"I went into Elliott's room to get laundry and they were making out on his bed.  His hand was up her shirt," I informed him.  Lin rubbed at his forehead with his fingers.

"Great," he said.  "Teenage hormones."

"Exactly," I said.

"What did you say?"

"Well, I was too surprised to say much honestly," I told him.  "I made Joey leave and told Elliott she was off limits."

He nodded, scratching at the nape of his neck.  "Well, it's kind of difficult to say they can't date.  I mean, they're just classmates that happen to live together because of their parents."

I gaped at his answer.  He wasn't going to back me up on this?  And he was the father with the daughter about to be deflowered.  Didn't he have a problem with this?

"Lin, absolutely not," I told him.  "They cannot date each other."

"Why not?"

"Because...." I was flabbergasted.  "It's weird!"

"They're not related," he reminded me.  "It's just an odd situation."

"So, we just tell them have at it?" I asked him, stirring the meat more vigorously.  Lin looked at the pot and gently pushed me aside, seeing I was getting worked up.  "Your room is my room?  Lin, your daughter will end up pregnant."

He laughed at that.  Laughed.  "I'd like to think I taught her better than that."

"Well, my son was touching her breasts," I told him, hoping to shock him into agreeing with me. 

"Thanks for that," he told me.  "But Pip, they're teenagers.  It's perfectly normal."

"Not in this house," I told him.

"Look," he said, crossing his arms again.  "If we forbid them from dating, they're gonna want to do it more.  It'll be forbidden fruit and they'll sneak around behind our backs.  Is that really what you want?"

"We could coordinate the custody agreements so they're never home together," I suggested and he laughed again, letting his head fall back.  That pissed me off.

"Seriously?" he asked me, his eyebrows downturned.  "Pip, that's ridiculous."

"I don't think so," I said, taking over the stirring again.

"Pip, I think the beef is fine," he said, and I stopped again.  I huffed and he could see that I was really upset about this.

"Hey," his tone changed to a gentle one.  He leaned back against the counter, hooked his fingers into my belt loops and pulled me towards him.  "I really don't think we need to worry.  We have smart kids."

"Elliott has condoms in his room," I told him as his hands rested on my hips.

"I'm glad he knows about safe sex," he said.

"You do realize this could possibly mean sex with your daughter?" I reminded him.  He gave me a look.

"Her mother's talked to her about this.  Joey knows she should be in a long-term loving relationship with someone before she even thinks about sex," he said.  "If her and Elliott are committed..."

"So you're fine with two teenagers having sex in our home?" I asked.

Lin sighed and stood up, stepping around me to go to the fridge.  I could tell he was getting annoyed with me.  Call me old-fashioned, but I didn't think our kids needed to be having sex with anyone, let alone each other.  It was all kinds of complicated.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"To talk to my daughter," he said.  "Is that okay with you?"

I let out a scoff as he looked at me, obviously perturbed.  He walked down the hall and I heard him go into Joey's room.  She'd begged me not to tell her father what I'd seen.  I figured it was partially because she knew he'd disapprove, but Lin was way more laissez-faire about the whole subject than I ever thought.

Disappointed, I continued to massacre dinner.  Fifteen minutes later, it was ready.  To say dinner was uncomfortable would be the understatement of the year.  Joey and Elliott both immediately went to their rooms afterwards.

I was in the mood to murder some dirty dishes so I volunteered to do them.  I scrubbed at the pots hard.  By the time I was done, they were spotless.  As I finished, I sensed Lin come up behind me.  One hand rested on my hip and the other pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

"Let's talk," he said softly.  I dried my hands and nodded.  Alex and Jack were playing quietly for once, so we sat on the couch together.  Lin let his hand rest on my knee as we faced each other.

"Listen," he said.  "I think it's important we have a clear message on this.  We can't be telling them different things."

"I agree," I said.  "And I am truly not comfortable with them living in the same house and fooling around with each other."

"Weren't you a teenager once?" he reminded me.

"Yes, and my parents forbade me from having a boy in the house alone," I said. 

"And did you listen?"

"Of course!" I said, incredulous.  I was a model child.

He sighed.  "You've met our kids.  Telling them not to do something will make them want to do it.  What's the point in being all 1950's about it?"

"Because it's just not appropriate!" I told him, unwilling to back down.  "What kind of parents would we be if we just let our two teenagers have at it?  What's stopping them from having sex?"

I stood up with my arms crossed and paced.  "I don't understand why Anna and Frank did this to us.  They made our lives so much more complicated."

Lin stood up, looking hurt.  "Well, it's because of Anna and Frank that we're together, Pippa," he told me, tucking his hands in his pockets.  "I'd like to think that's a good thing."

He walked away and headed into his own bedroom.  We still had our own space for now, but come the weekend, we'd be sharing a room.  Lin seemed just as firm in his belief as I did, but I just couldn't understand it.  We'd be enabling them.

For the first time in our relationship, we went to bed mid-fight.