"Are you fucking serious? How could you go 'out with someone' when you knew I needed you to drive me to the shoot?" I yelled on the phone while shoving my feet in the shoes. These people really be working my blood pressure up since a certain someone's return.

"Umm.. I was coming out of Mehrotra's— as someone very rudely ditched me—Ahaana Ma'am was kind enough to let me spend the night in their guest room. When I was leaving, Ahaana Ma'am asked me to drive her to this little donut shop before taking her to 'Mehr'." He ranted. I clenched my jaw; Ahaana Ma'am needs to stop ordering my employee like he's her property.

"You work for me, Hood. Put the reminder in your phone if you keep forgetting. Your Ma'am couldn't learn to drive in these years? Fucking make it quick!" I hung up before he could reply. She needs to stop getting on every last nerve of mine. I'll strangle her to death!

I walk out of the penthouse—furious at the brat—and reach Advik's office. "How can your sister steal my driver? Ask her to stay in her fucking limits." I growl shoving the door open without knocking. Advik groaned out loudly—his eyes narrow at me when Falak pushes him off her, blushing.

"Sahil. Knock!" Falak chided, these girls really need to stop screeching around me. It gives me headache.

"Falak, I don't care. No!" I replied back in the same tone. She pouts at her fiancé but when he just pats her heads and settles down on his chair, she walks to the couch. A smile slowly adorns my face as I watch my bestfriend's fiancée unpacking breakfast. She's not that bad. But I still hate her for taking my bestfriend!

"I got you breaky breaky." She sits down on the couch, serving my plate. I join her on the couch. She hands me a spoon.

"What did she do now?" Advik asks as I start eating. This is my first meal in what? Twenty-four hours?

"Other than ordering Hood around like he works for her? Ran away for five years." I retort back giving him a fake smile and going back to focusing on food. I have punished myself enough, I'm not giving up yet another meal for the British returned princess.

"Ohh.. Ahaa se yaad aaya.." Falak says turning our attention to her, "Sorry to interrupt Sahil." She looks at me with a sorry face and when I wave my hand in ignorance, she turns to her fiancé.

"Please let the society guards know that Ahaana is back. And who she is to us. Last night she returned from her run around 2am and the guard wouldn't let her enter the building." I tried to focus on my food, trying to ignore the fact that my heart thudded wildly in my chest. She was out till 2am? Alone? Wtf? And how helpless she must have felt when they wouldn't let her in?

Stop, Sahil. Just stop!

"Get in touch with the society secretary and ask him to sort this out. Everyone should know of who she is and how she's has a habit of being out late for her runs." I said walking towards the washroom. I could legit feel that asshole's lips turning into smirk behind my back.

Stop behaving like her bitch, that's what she wants. She knows one scratch and you'll go running to her. Don't let her do that to you, again. My mind barked at me. That fucker heart of mine just smirked.

"I come bearing gifts." I hear her voice just as I step back into the cabin from the washroom. She has her back to me, but I knew... I knew this was the moment where I'm going to look at her face. After five years, this was when I see those eyes back. Someone hand me over a fork and butter knife, so I can gauge those eyes out!

"Oh my god! Sherry's donuts. Waheguru! I was craving them from so long." Falak squealed looking at the box in her hand. I rolled eyes at the smartass.

Best way to get back with the girls? Bribe them with their favorites.

Chant toh bachpan se hi hai Madam!

Sherry's a small donut and coffee place we found when we all were in school. This place didn't have the best donuts in the world, but it did have the best for us. It was our place that had seen us all grow from kids to teenagers to adults. Our grandfathers introduced us to this place.

My Dadu Jaani & her Dadu.

"Mmmm.." Falak moaned at the taste, I walked to Advik's table. Her shoulders stiffened. I turned my face sideways; she turned her head the same time. It happened. Our eyes met. It took everything in me to not let out the gasp almost escaping me. These five years had done wonders on her. She breathed out as she took me in, and I did the same. But 10 seconds in, I turned my head away from her.

Her eyes have always been the most beautiful shade of brown. They always shine golden in bright sunlight. Her black wavy wild hairs flowing down her mid back. Her face looked absolutely gorgeous, but she had makeup lathered under her eyes which means she was trying to mask her dark circles. Her lips painted in a nude shade.

She looked cute five years ago, and now she looked ready-to-kill-you-with-her-looks woman. She didn't look like my Shea. She looked like Ahaana Rudra Mehrotra, the British returned brat. Good. I didn't want her to be Shea, makes it a whole lot easier for me.

A woman. I had to stop my eyes from moving back to her body. These eyes of mine always had the problem of behaving like fucking creep whenever she was in my vicinity.

I cleared my throat when I felt her eyes still on me. I know I'm a sight to behold but please I'd rather drink bleach like water and sleep on highway than have your attention on me, spoiled princess. I turned my attention to Mehrotra and Falak to look at both of them smirking, looking at nothing in particular.

"Um.. where's Suhana, Falak?" She asked, her cheeks still red from embarrassment from when I had caught her staring at me.

"She said she'll meet you directly there." Falak replied packing up the breakfast she had brought for me.

"Okay. You head to work. I'll take Hood with me." Madam replied making me glare at the side of her face and then her brother.

"Robin." She called out and Hood entered. "Drive me to Colaba, please?"

"Yeah, sure Ma'am." He nodded giving me a teasing smirk.

"I'll be waiting at the Italian place, 8 PM tonight." She looked at her brother, when Mehrotra--my best friend, the apple of my eye-- didn't reply, she huffed out a tired breath and looked at Robin.

"For the hundredth time Robin... please call me Ahaana." She said picking up her bag and headed out of the door, Robin held open for her. Falak followed them both. Yeah, worship the ground she walks on fucker. That's why I'm paying you truckloads.

"Did she— did she just steal him again?" I gritted out the words to Advik, who just chuckled in return.

"You know how to drive, she doesn't. Let her have him." The fucker said.

"Let her have him? What is he? A thing? Toy? He's my employee. I pay him to work for me." I pointed finger to my chest.

"Hire a driver for her. I ain't sharing Hood with her." I dead panned.

"And here I thought husbands shared everything with their wives." He chuckled making me want to pull his freaking heart out and feed it to my dogs.

"She's not my wife!" I spelled it out for him because clearly, he's stupider than I thought.

"Yet! She would have been if not for this mess, but I think she'll be Mrs. Ahaana Sahil Sahdev very soon." He winked. He fucking winked at me.

With all this trying-to-look-angry-phase--what phase? I'm furious at the brat--my heart almost stopped beating at the name, Mrs. Ahaana Sahil Sahdev. A name I wanted her to carry from the moment I first laid eyes on her.

A name she didn't want to have!

"Waise if you're so against the idea of her taking Hood, why didn't you say anything when she was still standing here?" He settled down on his chair, still smirking. Having enough of him for the day or weeks, I start to walk out of the room before I punch him in the nose.

"She looks good haina? Her hair—" I cut his voice off banging the door loudly behind me.

"Fucking exquisite." I muttered taking my car keys out of pocket and heading towards the elevator.

•

After handling a long day at work, the last thing I needed was a family meeting. I rolled my eyes driving back to home. I know the 5'2-inch reason for this meeting.

My phone rang yet again, and I ignored it for the 10th time. Suhana and Dad were being pain in my fucking ass as usual.

I parked the car on spot and moved to our building block. Remembering something, I walked back to the guard table.

"Who was on duty last night?" I asked standing at the guards table with my hands in pocket.

"The new guard. Rakesh." The door keeper replied.

"Inform him and every other guard that Ahaana, my— Rudra Uncle's daughter, is back in city and she has a habit of coming home late from her run. Nobody will stop her. Nobody will question her anything." I worded out as slow as I could for him to process.

"Yes Sir. Advik Sir informed us. We weren't aware last night but this will not be repeated." He nodded.

"Okay." I muttered walking to the elevator.

"My? Your what Sahil? Fiancée? Girlfriend? Friend? What?" I muttered to myself.

I looked inside the Mehrotra house to see everyone in the hall. Heading inside I take the empty space beside my best friend.

"What's the meeting about?" I ask taking the glass of water from the house help.

"We're still waiting for Ahaana." Suhana informs, continuing to scroll through her phone.

"Weren't you supposed to have dinner with her?" I asked my best friend whose fiancée was glaring daggers at him.

"He stood her up. He knows she's still waiting for him and he freaking ditched her." Falak muttered, her tone angry. Her eyes could kill Advik.

I turn to appreciate my best friend for the great work he's done for the first time since taking birth, but the heels slapping against the floor distracted me.

"Glad we know where you stand, brother!" She stops at the main threshold scowling at her brother, who in return just shrugged.

"Good. Now we can start fresh with that point in your head, sister." Advik replied making her scoff. Our parents looking at both of them to understand what exactly was happening.

"Ahaana." Shika Maa called out when she started walking to her room.

"What?" She snapped making me look at her in disbelief.

Where is this anger coming from? Yes, she was always naughty but that didn't hurt anybody. She was also always very sweet and polite to everyone around her. Except of course Advik, Suh and me.

"I am sorry, Maa. I am just a little frustrated." She breathed deeply and walked back to us. She keeps her handbag and the small shopping bag on the table.

"It's okay Doll. Come sit here." Samyak Sahdev aka my father, held his palm out for her. I roll
eyes when she settles beside him and put her head on his chest.

"Ahaana... where did you get all this money?" Rudra uncle puts a cheque on the coffee table. Advik's closer so he picks it up.

"Did you steal a bank or something? How dare you do that without me?" Suhana glares at her best friend, offended. The cheque starts circulating, I merely glance at it before looking away. Advik hands it to my father.

She wrote it to Mehr. Not to her father. Or her brother. She was giving it all to the company.

"No. It's your money." She replied with her eyes closed, still snuggled up in my father's arms.

Clingy as always. Huh!

"Our money? Means?" My mother asked. Everyone looked equally confused waiting for the brat to give an answer.

"It's the money you guys used to send me. I didn't use it." She opened her eyes slowly and met her father's eyes.

"Then how did you survive there? You moved out of Kashish's after your first semester." Her father asked. His voice almost snappy.

"I-Dadda please take it na. I have the money saved and you all know how hard it is for me to manage my finances." She tries to change the topic.

"Ahaana. How did you survive if you didn't use the money, I sent you all these years?" Her father stands up and starts pacing waiting for her to give him the answer.

"Rudra. Please na. Stop it. Aapka blood pressure—" One look at Shika Maa and she stops speaking. That's rare. Rudra Uncle glaring at his wife. The man worships the woman! But when it comes to this brat, he listens to no one. Nofuckingone.

"Ahaana. Tell me!" Rudra Uncle stops in front of my father and her.

"I did side gigs, okay? I didn't want to take money knowing all too well that you hated it that I was in London. I didn't want to loot you off for something that was entirely my choice." She looks away from her father, who breathes fire in return.

"Explain the side gigs. The amounts almost in crore, Ahaana, which means you didn't even use the college fees. I want to know what you did that helped you not only survive but also pay off your fees." Rudra Uncle takes holds her forearm and pulls her up on her feet a little harshly.

"Rudra." Shika Maa snaps coming to stand between the father daughter duo and keep her palm on his chest. "I'll divorce you if you ever touch her like that again." My father removes Rudra Uncle's hand from her shoulder and pulls her to himself. "Aaj toh choo lia hai, aainda haath mat laga dena meri bachi ke." My father warns his best friend, his eyes furious.

"Rudra step back." My mother holds Rudra Uncle's wrist. 'I'm not going to fucking hurt her. What the fuck is wrong with you Shika? Tum dono se toh main baad mein baat karunga." He points at my father and his wife before turning back to his daughter.

"Explain Ahaa. Or help me god--"

"I didn't do anything bad if that's what you're worried about." She cuts him off. "I worked as dance instructor, did designing internship and as barista. Even worked in my friend's father's company for some time. Saved money by not buying clothes and creating my own. About the college fees, I got scholarship and paid off some student loans from this money." She gestures at the cheque on the table.

My smart.... Smart baby.

Baby? Really Sahil?

"I don't think you have used money from this. I think you're returning back a lot more than I sent you. I sent you 50k every month along with the fees, I'm pretty sure it doesn't total to this amount." His father looks ready to burst, like she's hiding something from him and it's pissing him off.

"Because you weren't the only one sending me money every month. On 1st of every month, I received money from three different accounts. One was from you and the other from him." She looks up at my father, I glare at the man. I have been working my arse off here and he's been sending money to the brat?

"Samyak!" Rudra uncle scolds, my father shrugs. "I trust no one when it comes to her. Not you *points at Rudra Uncle* not you *points at Shika Maa* especially not you two idiots *points at both Advik and me*."

"How much?" Her father asks my father. "50k, every month." My father smugly replies.

'Still not close to what you're returning. Who was the third one, Ahaana?" Rudra Uncles eyes comes to me. I raise an eyebrow in return, the man's lost his mind.

"Don't even dream about such atrocious things, Uncle." I roll eyes. "Wahi na Dadda, yaha log mere marne ki dua karte hai." Our eyes meet at her words, my jaw clenches, instant pain flaring at her words. "Jau main? If you guys are done with this drama?" No one replies to me.

"The third cheque stopped coming two years ago." She murmurs to her father, the room silences. Pin drop silence. Two years ago. Dadu. He was sending those cheques to her every month and not the NGO like he made me believe. He was lying to me, for her. His Mehr.

Her eyes meet mine as I walk past her and head to my house and then to his room. A room I last opened 4 months ago... on his second death anniversary.

I never knew how it felt to be walked out on. I knew that when I left or ran away from India, from my house, my people.... from him... it must have broken them, and it broke me as well... but watching him walk away... gave me pain. A pain I hadn't felt. Till now.

I thought he was angry on me, and he'll calm down in some days. But I didn't know that for him... I wasn't existing. He wasn't angry. He was ruptured.

And all because of me.

When he wasn't in my sight anymore, I look down feeling everyone's eyes on me. I waited for anyone to speak up. After moments of killing silence around me, without looking at anyone, I walk to the Sahdev house and closed the main door behind me.

My eyes quickly moved upstairs and seeing his room door wide open, I turned towards Dadu's room, the door was ajar. With silent steps, I walked closer and peeked inside as much as I could without making him feel my presence.

My throat clogged as soon as the radio turned on. The vintage radio Badi Maa gifted Dadu.

The song started and I moved away from the door and leaned against the wall. Sliding down to sit there with tears streaming down my eyes.

It was the song Dadu had recorded... in his voice... after Badi Maa passed away.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Nagmen hain shikve hain
Kisse hain baate hain
Nagmen hain shikve hain
Kisse hain baate hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hain

Yaadein yaadein yaadein

Duniya mein yoon aana
Duniya se yoon jana
Aao to le aana jaao to de jana
Yaadein yaadein yaadein
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hain
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

He stopped the music, and I covered my mouth to control my silent hiccups but my heart shatters into pieces when I hear him sniffing inside the room.

I heard his voice. Dadu's voice... the voice which lulled me to sleep when I was a kid and now the same voice made me sob so hard that I felt my heart piercing with his every word... every breath... every smile I could feel. After 2 long years of nothing from his side. 2 long years of not hearing his voice, him not humming to me on video call as I travelled from my workplace back to the dorms, late at night in London. 2 years of not seeing him smile through my phone screen. 2 years of not laughing with him as he shared jokes on every member of our family. 2 years of him, not asking me to come meet him because he feels his end is near.

He was the only one who knew everything about what was happening inside me and he always just said one thing, 'I won't take sides. I'm here for you to hear as I'm for him.' And he did... he always heard my complaints, my cries. He was the only one I talked with about him, and he heard me, always.

Until that one night.

Flashback

"Bye. See you guys tomorrow." I hugged Ellie and then Killian. He kissed my cheeks and flicked my forehead as usual making me slap his hand away.

"On the ice, huh?" Killian asked his girlfriend and then looked at me. We both nodded in yes, making him shake his head.

"Bye, sweetie." Ellie waved taking the back seat on Killian's bike. He winked at me making me laugh out loud. Ellie shook her head at us.

With one final wave, Killian drove away leaving me standing there, smiling at the couple.

And suddenly my heart went to that one face. I closed my eyes trying to shoo his sight away from my head.

It's been three years I saw him or heard him or touched him. My heart ached but as soon the scene from that night replayed in my head, I clenched my jaw.

The cheator!

"I'll whine to Dadu. Again" I muttered to myself. It's been long I gossiped about him with Dadu.

I started walking and trying to find my phone in my bag. When I didn't feel it, my heart stopped.

Please. No!

I turned around and ran back towards the building. The gatekeeper looked at me in confusion.

"I think I left my phone in the studio. Can you please unlock the studio floor for me?" I asked him. He shook his head in Negative.

"Mr. Jules didn't give me the keys as it's Monday tomorrow and nobody's gonna be here." He replied and I almost cried out looking at the watch on my wrist.

Dadu Jaani. He must be waiting for my call.

"Do you have his number? Mr. Jules?" I asked him, my throat almost clogging with the emotions.

"I don't but you can ask Miss. Zella." He nodded at the reception desk. I muttered a quick Thankyou and ran to her but before I could reach her, I stumbled on the edge of the floor.

My body slumped down touching the ground and my nose hit the floor. I let out a cry.

"Miss." I heard someone shout for me, but I didn't know what to do. There was pain in my chest, I could feel my nose bleeding, tears were flowing out of my eyes and the most pain I felt was somewhere on my lower body, but my mind couldn't figure out exactly where.

Before I could do anything or try to, I was sucked into darkness.

~~•~~

I looked up when the footsteps stopped beside me. He looked at me with his blood shot eyes and I hiccupped more. I waited for him to say something... anything but he just continued looking at me.

I removed the tears from my face and as if that hand movement of mine had pulled him out of his thoughts, he just turned sideways and locked the door. With the key. And then walked out of the house, sliding the key in his pocket leaving me sitting there. Leaving me a wrecked-up mess.

I knew he wasn't coming back home. I slowly stand up from the floor and walked upstairs, then to his room. I locked the door behind me, closed the curtains, turned off the lights and settled myself in his bed. Snuggling into the comforters smelling of him.

After that night, the next time I woke I was in the hospital. The next morning. When my foot stumbled on the edge of the building floor, that night, there was a spike on the ground. I was wearing shorts and the spike cut my skin deeply from above the knee to the mid-thigh because of the jerk of the fall. I had to get the spike removed which was stuck in my skin and get stitches.

But I passed out due to my already bad health conditions. I lost blood and my mind couldn't handle the pain, so I blacked out.

That was the same late night of London, and early morning of India when Dadu passed away. That was the night when the families called me over and over again because he wanted to speak or see me one last time. But I was in the hospital, unconscious. And my phone in the dance studio.

I didn't even think about him going until I saw calls from Sahil's side.

I knew times were extreme if he had called me. I tried my father's number, Suhana, my mother and lastly his.

None answered. The calls either went unanswered or their phones were switched off. I waited two days to hear from someone, anyone. But then, the worst news came knocking down at my dorm room.

Suhana and Falak.

I learned about everything that day. Three years without any truths and now they couldn't shut up! They started with my rockstar passing away and then when I was done crying buckets, they told me all about that night making me go deep in guilt and shock.

They had proof. Proof of him being innocent. Proof of me believing whatever I saw and being a stupid fool to even question his actions.

That night he forgot to get my favorite flowers. He was coming back to the society from the florist when he saw some boys laughing in a group looking at a girl. She fell down because her heel was stuck into something and it broke, the fall made her off shoulder top slip down her chest. He was quick in reaching her and made her wear his shirt and helped her in the car. She was crying badly so he hugged her to calm her down.

After Suhana and Falak begged me to come with them, I knew I couldn't face him. I felt so ashamed. Just one incident and I reacted before hearing him. I didn't trust him. I couldn't come. I was scared of this exact situation that I'm facing now.

I cried, snuggled up in his bed, feeling him with me... I shed the last few tears before I start taking hold of things. Promising myself that it was the last cry. I had already shed enough tears in last five years and now was the time of correcting the mistakes I had made.

The next morning

"We see you, baby." I pouted hearing his mother say. I turned around to face her only to see Suhana and Dad on the table too. The parents smiled and my best friend just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Hey!" I gave them my wide-st smile. Mom motioned to come to the table.

"Mehrotra's must be waiting to hear from me." I said still rooted to the last stair.

"They know you are here. Come sit with me." Dad patted the empty chair beside him.

"They didn't come to take me this time?" I asked walking to the family.

"The idiot gentleman who used to snitch about your sneaking in wasn't here and you aren't 17 anymore." Dad smirked making me chuckle.

"Penthouse?" I whispered slowly, putting the salt on my toasted bread, Mom shook her head looking at my eating habit.

"Yeah." Suhana replied, forwarding her phone to me. He was in the penthouse kitchen.

Our grandparents had installed cameras all over the 'Mehr' building and all of them were accessible from the phones for security reasons.

Guess who's going to remove the cameras from his penthouse?

ME! *smirks*

You know if he's spending so much time there, I wouldn't want anybody seeing me get all down and dirty to make it up to him.

"So, when are you joining Mehr?" Dad asked pulling the phone out of my hands. I pouted.

"Earlier it used to be tom and jerry to make you eat and now this?" Mom narrowed her eyes and I chuckled.

"Nope. I eat without phone or any other distraction now." I flipped my hairs back. "About joining Mehr, I think I'll take some break. It's been hell of 5 years and I'd like to have some time off before starting work again."

"Of course, bacha. You deserve it. You also have an angry man to soothe." Avni Mom smiled, I nod in agreement. We completed the rest of the breakfast in comforting silence.

•

Sometimes when I look back at my journey of those five years, alone in a completely new place amongst strangers... all I think about is, my life with him.

Or what could it have been if I didn't leave?

I missed him there, but that missing feeling wasn't ever enough for me to drop everything and come to him. I know, I loved him but maybe that wasn't enough for me to stay. For me to look things with his Shea's eyes. For me to make myself understand that no matter what, he's never gonna do that to me. Because in his eyes, I wasn't just a person he cared about or felt something about. I was the center of his universe.

I was maybe too young to understand the words behind his actions, but these last two years made me understand everything. I thought about every kind gesture he had shown me. The slightest touch of fingers, kind smiles and the random act of love and laughter. The making me smile after I cried buckets. The scolding when I did something naughty. The caring when I fell down on my knees playing. The slight brush of body, the little eye gestures, the raised eyebrows talk, the constant searching for each other eyes when in between million people.

He became my home the moment I looked for him in pain rather than my mother. He was my protector, my best friend, my partner in crime and my first and only love.

And I'll make sure to have it all back with him. I'll make him fall in love with me, again.

"Ma'am, we're here." I blinked my eyes open with a jerk and took my surroundings in. I was in front of our building block.

"Thank you, Robin." I smiled at him, and he nodded back. Taking my handbag from the backseat, I got down the car and murmured a soft 'bye' before closing the door.

"Hood?" I turned back around; he had his hand on the gear. He nodded in yes.

"Tell him I want him back home." I said and he nodded, smiling. I turn back around and walked into the building.

I missed him when I was away. But all that was my fault and I want to now rectify everything that I had ruined. It hurts much more than before because now it's like he's a slight brush of fingers away from me and I still can't tell him, can't feel the feeling I used to feel when he was around. I can live without talking to him, or him being angry on me but I can't live without looking at him.

In all our fights he was the one who used to come and pacify me but it's not just about pacifying now, it's about hurting and leaving him alone, about not trusting him, about breaking him apart by ignoring his existence for five long years. I know... I know it's going to be very hard for me to even be able to speak to him, but I have to. I have to hold my head down and try and keep trying because I'm the wrong one here. I did him wrong. I deserve everything that he has in store for me-- tears, anger, hatred.

This time, it's my turn to win him back. Win us back.