—Author's Note—

All the pictures and videos used, belongs to their rightful owners and are here only for reference. I hold absolutely no credits to these.

Getting ready for haldi is whirlwind. I'm pushed and yanked around like a fluffing doll. Even though we all slept on time— considering it's my marriage, 2am is the right time. If it was in my control, no one would leave that dance floor till 6 in the morning.

Jee bhar ke naach le baby,
Naach naach ke tod de sandal— shut up, Ahaana!

"Mummaaa.." I crib trying to get my mother's attention. She hums working on her outfit. My father sits on the couch in his bathrobe, his hairs wet from the shower— whoever's on call with this man, my sympathies with him.

"Kyu nahana hai jab wapas ganda hi hona hai?" I whine pouting, Papa turns to look at me from the glass window he's been eyeing since the call started.

"Tu jaa rahi hai ki main Advu ko bulau? Wo kheech ke bathroom mein daalega tab hi nahayegi?" Mumma snaps at me. I narrow my eyes. "Emotional hote hai beti ki shaadi wale din parents or ek aap ho!" I make a sad face.

"Emotional tab hote hai jab door jate hai. Tu kaha jaa rahi hai? Baju wali society mein." Papa says cutting the call. Haaye ye zaalim duniya!

Nahi chakk lo bas ab aap mainu waheguru! Mujhe rahna hi nhi itthe!

"I'll ask my husband to shift 820miles away from you guys. Phir dekhte hai." I threaten them. Mumma snorts—very unladylike— Papa copy pastes her expression. Itna pati patni bhi nhi banana tha!

"Your husband's gonna move away with you? I don't think so, Ahaana, he wants to keep existing in the world." I mean I get it that everyone loves me because as they say— if they don't roast you, they don't love you— but my parents here are crossing a line by roasting their single kid— Advik is adopted, don't tell him that, he'll start whining— My husband will walk into sunsets with me, alright? And in fire for me, okay?

Agree, or I'm gonna shoot you dastards!

"He will if I ask him, he will!" I mumble— unsure myself.

"Ahaana. Stop the tantrum and go shower. The haldi start at 8 am. I'm waiting for no one!" Mumma turns to face me when she's completely ready. Papa comes to stand in front of me, I hug his stomach.

"Why the drama early morning?" Papa asks moving his hand in my hairs.

"You nervous chinu?" Mumma smiles brightly, I hide my face shaking my head in negative. "She is. She is nervous." Mumma sits beside me on the bed, I keep my face hidden not replying her.

"Him?" Mumma whispers. Papa pulls me away from his body and kneels down, coming face to face with me. He cups my cheeks.

"You finally realised marriage is bullshit and you're going to stay single and live with your father forever and ever?" The happy grin on my father's face makes me laugh out loud. Mumma slaps his shoulder. "Worth a try." He shrugs. His hands moves to hold my hands. I start digging my thumb nail into his, a habit I have since I was a baby.

"It's not him. He never makes me nervous, I guess it's the other way around." We three chuckle. I continue, "it's just.. I wish Dadu was here. If I hadn't run away, maybe he'd witness us getting married. I just feel guilty and there's this huge pressure of fluffing up. Like what if I trip over my lehenga or do something that insults the rules and regulations of Gurudwara. I don't want to let you guys down anymore than I've already done." I tell them whatever that I'm feeling sincerely.

"I know things would have been a whole lot better and happier if he was here today, Ahaa. But sometimes everything happens for a reason. Waheguruji ki marzi hondi hai puttar har chiz wich, unki marzi sayad ye hi thi ki wo charo... waha se unke pass se... aap dono ko bless kare. We can't control and have everything na bache." I nod as a tear drop slides down my eye. The door opens behind us with a thud, Papa brushes my cheeks before we turn to look at a furious Falak.

"You better have a good explanation of hiding here." She glares daggers at me. I face palm myself. If I can't see her, she can't see me. No one can tell me otherwise.

Chaand chupa... baadal mein— You've a death wish woman!?

"And as for you second worry. You tripping over anything and making yourself embarrassed, I gurantee that's never going to happen with her and Suhana by your side." My father stands up and opens his arms. Falak walks closer to us, I side hug my mother while Falak keeps her head on Dadda's chest. "You think she's ever going to let you fall, baby? She's behind you in a blink of eye even when you merely flinch. Think she'd let you go down?"

Let me down, down, let me down— okay. What the fluff is wrong with you?

Falak forwards her hand, I let her tug me on my feet. "You done hiding?" She narrows her eyes. I make a thinking face, then bob in positive. She pinches the skin on my wrist. "Chalo. Your brothers breathing fi—"

"Ahaana Mehrotra!" Oh, you gotta be kidding me! I give my brother a smile, my eyes twinkle the moment he's near me. Awee. My brother. My lifeline. My whole heart.

"Its freaking 7:30 already. If you guys are fucking done babying her, let her get the fuck ready. If you're late to your own wedding na Ahaana, sau waheguruji di maine bhaga dena hai Sahil ko!" My brother roars, Falak and I meet eachother's eyes and shrug. He's behind us a second later, his hands tugging both our hairs. "Advu.." Falak hisses, I turn sideways and hold his hairs.

"Leave." I tell him, he doesn't, he just tugs harder. Falak hisses more. I collect his hairs in both my fist and yank. Hard. How dare he make my husband run away?

Mumma pulls me back. Papa pulls him away. We both breathe fire at eachother, Falak rubs her scalp.

"Zoo mein rakho apne jungli ko!" I yell at my parents and take Falak out of the room with me. We meet Yug and Sahil in the corridor. "Keep your bestfriend on a fluffing leash. Maine murder kar dena hai uska." I roar at them, both of them looks at eachother and then back at me, confused. But without any explanation, I walk past them. Angry. So fluffing angry! Now I need something to get back at him. I should get Falak married to someone. Or I can deport her to Atlantic Ocean. Or I can just kidnap her and keep her in our home. Huh, this one's nice!

"You're doing nothing!" Falak snaps her fingers in front of my face bringing me out of my head. "Did I say it out loud?"

"You don't have to. Your eyes started shining with menace and that only happens when you're planning something against him."

"This would be the correct time to step down from the lover platform." I tell her entering my room, and heading straight to the washroom. I hear her chuckling behind me and it brings a smile on my own face.

If it wasn't for this woman right here, I don't know what I would do. Both Suhana and Falak has made my life so easy, I can't describe it. Falak has been fulfilling all the bhabhi responsibilities and bestfriend duties. Similarly, Suhana is being the best sister, daughter and bestfriend. They barely sleep leave spending some time with their partners. They bear all my tantrums—nothing new there. I don't know where I would be without these two. Falak has been babying me the most. From making sure I eat enough to my sleep schedule, she manages it all. After every function, I come to the room, undress and get in the bed or get ready for the next function. But she's the one who cleans up after me. Like my father said, she's become my shadow.

And obviously my brother. Fluffer being too good at every fluffing role!

I take a quick shower and wrap the bathrobe around my petite body. Unlatching the door, I walk into the bedroom to see her and my brother sitting there. I flip him off. He returns it back. I take my undergarments and blouse, heading back to the washroom. Quickly putting everything on, I call out for Falak, she enters the washroom with my skirt and helps me in it.

"Suh?" I ask her while settling down on the vanity. She helps me brush my hairs and apply few drops of oil over the length so that haldi paste is easily rinsed. She pulls out a lip tint and blends it on my lips, cheekbones and eyelids with her fingertips.

She puts my phone in charging while I slip my feet in my heels. When I go to lean down to adjust, my brother beats me to it. I smile standing straight. I look at the clock. 7:57 AM.

"Ho gya drama?" Bhaiyu asks standing up, I nod. He rolls eyes but pulls my head to his chest. I hug him tighter. "Falak." He motions at his fiancée, she shakes head at us but gets in the hug.

"Jyada dukha?" Bhai moves his fingers in our scalp, as if soothing the pain. "I returned the favour so no." I shrug getting out of his hold. "She didn't." I point at Falak. "You two have five minutes before I send someone to fetch you!" I yell at the couple walking out of the room. Sahil comes out at the exact same time with Suhana, Yug and little Zee. What now? He changed sides! The little fluffer.

"Where's Falak?" Suhana asks walking towards me followed by the guys. I open my mouth to reply but Yug cuts me off.

"Probably busy getting Advik's tongue shoved down her throat." Yikessss! The image. The fluffing imageee! Yuck. Disgustingggg!

Sahil and Yug hi-five as if it's their second nature after comments like this. It is. "You seriously need some filter, Yug." Suhana swats his chest. "We have a baby here."

"Yes and I'm sensitive." I slap Yug's biceps. "I meant Zee." Suhana gives me a 'why am I surrounded by these dumbarses?' look. Oh right. Zee. I thought she meant— whatever.

Sahil slaps the door of my room with the back of his head. "Rudra Uncle, Mehrotra. Rudra Uncle." He yells loudly, I shake my head at the man. Kitna pareshaan karte hai ye sab mere bhai koi!

Main pareshaan, pareshaan, pareshaan— You need therapy!

The door opens and my brother comes out setting his hairs, I take one look at his face—mouth to be exact— and go bang my head on the wall—lightly. "Dara dia bachi ko." Yug laughs patting my back. "Chalein ab?" My brother grits out. I keep my left cheek on the wall and look at the group. Falak joins us. I groan looking at her blushing face and start walking ahead.

Falak and Suhana comes beside me while I wait for the elevator. "He sucked the life out of you." Suhana giggles looking at Falak, I glare at the two. "Brother. He's my brother bish!" I throw her words from yesterday back at her. She shrugs.

We all reach the haldi venue and find our mother glaring daggers at us. "Suhana was late." Falak and I point fingers at her. Suhana throws up her hands, frustrated. "You two stop making me the scapegoat. Eveytime!" She screeches and then stomping her feet, walks away. Falak and I hi-five.

"Sahil!" Avni Maa shouts. He comes running beside me. "Ho gye tum sab ke natak? Start kar le function?" My mother scolds him. He bobs in positive, making face like he's the innocent of all.

We take our places in those huge petal bowls. Avni Maa brings the haldi paste and starts lathering him up, the women starts singing some punjabi chorus. One by one all the ladies repeats the action. They take the paste on their fingers, apply on his head then cheeks, shoulders and feet. At the last, Falak, Suhana, Advik, Yug, Robin and Killian comes together. Mumma takes away half of the remaining haldi paste and leaves the rest for the group. They surround him. Boys push their kurta sleeves up to their arms. I see little Zion copying their actions.

Sahil spreads his arms out, knowing there's no way out of this. I laugh as Robin holds the collars of his kurta and tears it in two. My eyes widen when I notice that he's bare under it. I have never seen him bare, he always has his vest on. My eyes immediately go to that tattoo on his chest and everything halts. My heartbeats go wild. One second I could see it the next second it's under all the haldi paste the guys lathers him in. I look up at his eyes to see laughing loudly, enjoying, clueless of my teary eyes.

I snap my gaze at the parents and notice that everyone's just enjoying themselves. They all know about this, don't they? When did he even get this? After or before I returned? Why am I not aware of this?

The loud laughing voices pulls me back to the moment, I blink my eyes to shoo off the tears. They all stop and turn to me. I shake my head. "Ritual first!" I warn them, Mumma nods coming to the front. She goes to take the haldi off his skin, he holds her hand stopping her movements.

"Aapke haath gande honge, Shikha Maa. Main laga deta hoon na." Our gang starts hooting, Mumma laughs but takes a step back. He holds my arms and pulls me closer, I try to control myself from blushing and smiling in front of everyone but— darn it. My eyes closes as he leans a little and rubs our cheeks together. The coldness of the paste hits me hard, pair it with his closeness and it's a one way road to sin.

"You got my name tattooed on your heart?" I whisper when he comes to my other cheek. His eyes meet mine, but then he gets back to completing the task in hand, never replying me. He scoopes some paste from his arms, shoulder and chest— exactly from where the tattoo is— it comes back in the view, and brushes his palms from my arms to my wrist.

"It is yours, isn't it?" He says just as my mother steps closer. I don't look at him. My mother follows the same sequence. Head, shoulders, back of hand and feet. Once the women are done, the gang starts showering me in love— to be read as pounced on me with the haldi paste.

When the haldi paste is finished, they start with the flower petals. It soon turns into phoolo ki holi. I enjoy but whenever I see him, I just want to take him away from all the crowd and question him. So many questions.

Our mothers the ask to come to the bowl for the last ritual before we are sent to get ready for the Anand Karaj. My heart beats accelerates just at the thought of it— not like they have stopped being messy since the tattoo thing. Suhana and Myra steps in for this ritual, Avni Maa gives both of them pots which has holy water from the Gurudwara— Suhana went to get it at 6 in the morning.

Jee bhar ke naach le baby,
Naach naach ke tod de sandal— something is seriously wrong with you!

They pour it over us, a little shower kinda thing and then we are asked to leave. Falak hands both of us towels and we wrap those around her upper half. Falak and Suh helps me out of the bowl but the skirt sticks to my skin with all the paste, petals and water making it really hard for me to walk. My brother bends down and picks me up making me squeal. I hold his shoulder and get comfortable in his arms while he walks us to the back elevator. Our gang hot on their heels behind us. We all get in the elevators, him in a different one with Falak, Killian and Ellie.

We reach first on the floor so my brother takes me straight towards the bedroom. "Bhai." I stop him when he goes to step in the room. Suhana and Yug looks at us. "I'd like to talk to him once before we start getting ready." I don't know what he sees in my eyes or feels with my tone, but he nods and makes me stand on the floor. The elevator opens and we all wait for him. He reaches us in a second.

"A word please." I barely whisper getting in the room, he looks at my brother before stepping in the room and closing the door behind him. I know our friends are still where we left them. I got them worried.

"What's wrong?" He walks closer, I put my hand on his chest before he can wrap me in a hug. He looks at me in question. I take the ends of his towel between my finger and pull it down. His eyes stays on my face as I look at the tattoo.

I graze my thumb over it. "When did you get this?" I ask in a whisper. "Are you seriously getting worked over this? We're going to be late to our own wedding, Shea." I snap my gaze up to his. He stops speaking.

"When?"

"The day after you left. Five years ago." He replies, his hands comes to rest on my waist.

"I need the words. Abhi. Issi waqt."

"What words?"

"You know what words." I narrow my eyes.

"We're getting late. Get ready." He turns to leave, I hold his biceps and pull him back to face me.

"If you want me at the Gurudwara, you have to give me those words, Sahil."

"I don't take these threats well. Stop triggering my abandonment issues." He grits out, angrily. Good. Anger is good.

"Words, Sahdev."

He takes a step closer, his hand moves from my waist to hairs, he fists the length and yanks. Hard. "I'm sending your lehenga. You will get the words when I feel like. If I don't find you at the Gurudwara na Shea, I will kill you." He breathes over my lips and then leaves me with a jerk. I feel my core clenching at his face.

"Fine then. You won't be hearing the words from me either." I say behind his back, he doesn't respond. Just throws the door open and leaves. I see my brother leaned against the door frame with all the others around. Robin follows his boss. Suhana looks at me and then where he walked away, when Falak nods at her, she follows him. Yug behind her. My brother nods at Ellie and Killian, they leave too. Falak and my brother enters the room.

"Kya hua hai achanak?" Bhai asks walking in the room. "Kuch nahi." I mumble heading in the washroom.

The next time that I enter the bed area, Falak's waiting for me all showered and in her bathrobe. A huge af maroon box sits on the bed beside her. She smiles at me. "Dekhegi nahi?" She asks when I start moving towards the mirror.

"Pehnana hi ab toh." I mumble drying my hairs.

"Dupatta bhi nahi? He hand made it for you." She speaks again, I don't reply. Focusing on my work. Haan sab kar lenge bade bade gestures, bas ek I love you nahi bolna jisko sunane ke liye main marri jaa rahi hoon!

"Kya tum dono ab lade ho shaadi se 2 ghante phle yaar?" She whines behind me, I glare at her in the mirror. "Shut up! If you want to be his friend, you can leave. If you're here as my bhabhi, stay mum and let me brood." She humphs but stays quiet. I blow dry my hairs, the door knocks and she goes to open it. "The MUAs all set up." My brother's says entering.

"Why is she set up there?" I ask him keeping the dryer on the vanity.

"All the jewelleries and gifts that you will wear and Sahil will get from our family are here. I didn't want anything to go wrong." Falak motions at the bags on the bed. Such Indian things!

"You don't step a foot out of here, alright? If you have to leave, you inform me." Falak makes my brother understand like he's a little baby, he nods like he really is a kid. "Go put this in the room." She pats the lehenga box, Bhai picks it up and heads out of the room.

She helps me with drying the other half of my hairs while my brother returns with his own stuff. Falak and I leave the room and head into hers.

•

I'm in the lehenga and blouse, just done with my makeup and hairs when the door knocks at 9:20 AM. Falak who is all ready to get her best friend married, goes to open the door. She returns with my other bestfriend.

"Can we please have a moment?" Suhana requests the MUA and her team. The four of them leaves us alone. "There's someone who wants to see you before we leave for the baarat." Suhana mumbles looking back at the door.

All four of our parents walk in. I stand up from the vanity chair and turn around so that they can see me properly. They surround me. Avni Maa applies black teeka behind my ears and my mother takes my bhalayein blowing air over my shoulders as if blowing off every evil eye around me.

"You look like a queen, Ahaa." My father says coming towards me, his eyes glassy. I look down to stop myself from breaking into sobs. He side hugs me, kissing my crown.

"So beautiful, Aahu." Samyak Paa gives me a hug when my father steps back.

"But we're not the only ones who wanted to see you." My heart thumps loudly in my chest. "There's someone who reques—begged us to let him see you before the ceremony because he just can't find the air in him to breathe." Samyak Papa completes and they all side step, making the wide open door come in my view. My own lungs squeezes when he steps in the doorway. Yug, Advik and Robin close behind him.

I take my first step towards him, his eyes stays down. I gulp the lump in my throat, taking steps towards him. My breath quickened and messy. I stop some steps away from him— I can't move. The second I see the tears trailing down his eyes, my body stills. He looks up, slowly. So slow. I hold my breath, our eyes clash.

"Please." I don't know what I'm begging for, but his tears, they shred me apart. I don't care if they are happy or sad, I just hate them. He steps his right leg forward and then kneels down on his left at my feet, I gasp.

"Please don't." I whisper, my tears flows like river. I know we have so many eyes on us but it feels we are the only ones.

"Please don't leave me this time. Please come on time. I don't think... I'll be able to handle you being even a second late." His voice rough and dry as if he's been crying or holding these words in him since years. I close the distance between us and pull his head on my stomach, hugging him. He wraps his arms around my stomach, crying harder in my arms.

"I love you, Shai. So much." I whisper the words before kissing his head. "I'll be on time, baby." I tell him. He pulls away and stands up, without even glancing at me, he turns around and leaves.

Falak comes to me first, crying herself, she wraps her arms around me and I sob in her chest. Another body hugs me from the back, I feel her before I see her. "I'll go make sure he's okay." Suhana whispers in my ears, placing a kiss on the back of my head, she leaves.

"The makeup's waterproof atleast." I speak breaking the hug, Falak chuckles with me. She cleans my face dabbing a tissue, I sniffle some more before turning to face our parents. "Sorry you had to witness—"

"Our kids crazily in love?" Papa cuts me off, I look down blushing. "Jaa leke aa apne bete ki baarat." Papa shoves at Samyak Papa's shoulder, the latter squints eyes at his bestfriend before turning to me. "Be ready, aa raha hai mera beta." He pats my cheeks. Avni Maa kisses my cheeks. "Jaldi aana." She whispers before following her husband.

"Advik. What did I tell you?" Falak roars, I roll eyes as my brother runs back to where he came from— I meant the other room and not the dumpster Papa picked him from.

The MUA and her teams returns, they work on some final touches. After she's done setting the first dupatta, she calls my parents ahead for the second one. The photographer who's been taking shots of everything from the beginning, clicks me with my parents. Papa and Mumma covers ny head with the dupatta.

After the photographers and MUA leaves, my brother returns with the gifts and hands everything to Papa. Papa gives me the 'blanket' that I have to take to the Gurudwara with me. "We'll go welcome the baarat. Falak and Ellie are here with you." Papa informs me, I nod in okay. He turns to Falak. "When the milni starts, I'll call you, you two come with Robin." Falak nods in positive. My parents and brother leaves to welcome my husband.

•

I take my first step in the Gurudwara doorway. All the eyes turns to me, I can feel the heat of all the stares. My heart in my throat. My brother, Yug, Killian and Robin hold the flower veil over my head. My father— who's been waiting for me—comes by my side. He wraps his hand around my shoulders helping me walk down the aisle, towards my man. He turns around, I can feel his eyes but I don't meet them—scared I'll fall first down first with only the intensity. We reach him. Falak and Ellie stand from their seats. I offer the 'chaadar' to the Granthiji and then step back, beside him. Falak and Ellie helps me sit down. When I'm settled, I finally give him my eyes. Both of us take that long holded breath out, together.

Granthiji asks my father to hand me the palla. Papa takes the clothe from him and hands it to me, I look up at him to see his eyes welled up. Before we can burst into tears, he goes back to sit on the sides. Granthiji asks us all to stand for the ardaas. Before Falak and Ellie can come to help me, he forwards his palm out. I keep my hand over his and try to stand up, when I still can't, Falak takes my other hand and helps me up.

The lehenga weighs more than me. I'm sorry if I can't stand on my effing own! Judge me when you're perfect!

Huh. Let's get back to being calm and shy Ahaana who's in the midst of getting married!

After the ardaas, everyone sits back down. Granthiji starts reciting verses before the laavan. Then we both stand up for our first laavan, while in the background Granthiji continues reciting our vows to eachother.

~~~

(Description of the laavan is taken from google.)

First laavan: "Har pehladi laav parvirtee karam driraia bal raam jio."

The first laavan marks the start of the ceremony and states the piousness of a marriage. It reminds the couple to fulfil their marital duties, renounce bad ways, and meditate on god's name. By following his path, it states, one will get rid of their sins and celestial bliss shall be attained. It asks the couple to stay on the right path even when times get tough and worship the only lord, Waheguru and embrace naam. This will dispel their fears and worries and will allow them to find true happiness.

Second laavan: "Har doojdi laav satigur purakh milaaya bal raam jio."

The second laavan takes the couple to meet the true guru–the primal being. It instructs the couple to leave all materialistic things and their ego aside and search for the real guru. The guru is omnipresent and is within and everywhere around them. It states that the guru is the master of the universe, so sing his praise in joy and remember his name in good and bad times.

Third laavan: "Har teejdi laav man chaao bhaya bairagiya bal raam jio."

The third laavan talks about the absolute and true love that the couple has in their heart for their god. The bride here accepts that she has met the divine saint. She narrates how she finds the almighty and sings his praise which resounds from within her and completes her. In this verse, Guru Nanak Ji proclaims that the couple's hearts must be filled with the divine love of the lord.

Fourth laavan: "Har chouthdi laav man sehaj bhaya har paaya bal raam jio."

The fourth laavan narrates how the hearts and minds of the couple have found peace and joy because they have found the true god. Now, the bride must leave her parents' house and move into the groom's house as they are two bodies who share the same soul. The last hymn describes the spiritual union of the couple as their souls blend with the god and how naam fills their hearts. And after the completion of the last laavan, the bride and groom are officially announced as husband and wife.

~~~

We settle back down and another sikh priest comes to us with the marriage registry. He shows us where to sign and we follow his instructions. After the elders do whatever asked of them by the Gurudwara gurus, we finally take our leave. We haven't said a word to eachother yet.

We walk out with our friends behind or by our side. Falak helping me every step of the way with my outift. Advik goes to bring our car and we wait for him. "Did you see your dupatta, Ahaana?" Suhana asks coming to stand beside me.

"Ofcourse." I look at my bestfriend.

"It's so beautiful na? The detailing and all." She asks again, I narrow my eyes. She meets his eyes behind my back, I turn to look at him glaring at her with a smile on his lips.

"What?" I ask the siblings. He shakes head in negative. "Kuch khaya nahi hai na usne, dimag kaam karna band kar dia hai." My husband— heart goes crazy— says. My brother decides to stop the car at that exact moment. He opens the door and helps me in first. Once I'm properly settled, he follows. "I'm going with Mumma, have to help her with the vidaai preparation and then Avni Maa for the welcome." Falak says to my brother from his window, he nods in understanding. Suhana takes the passenger seat.

"So about that dupatta—"

"Shut up, Zia." He cuts him off. Suhana pouts at him but turns around looking back to the front. My brother chuckles beside her. "You didn't know about that?" Bhai asks from the driver seat, my husband looks down at me and shakes his head in negative. All three of them laughs, I look at them confused.

"Mujhe bhi batao." I pout at my husband, he grazes my cheeks with his thumb but says nothing.

"Mrs. Ahaana Sahil Sahdev." He breathes in my ears and —holy guacamole— that name leaves goosebumps all over my body and the butterfly cage in my stomach bursts open.

"Ayy! No romance here." My brother honks, side glancing at us from his seat. My husband relaxes back in his seat, our fingers entwined.

We drive straight back home from the Gurudwara, add Mumbai traffic to it and you have an hour drive in your hands. So I did exactly what I needed, a nap. Suhana too. Sahil—my husband— shakes me up when we reach our society. I blink my eyes to shoo off the sleepiness. My brother gives both Suhana and I water bottles and we take a few sip. The photographers already waiting outside our car, so I give myself a glance in the mirror. The palla is still there so he slides out of the car first and I follow him. Suhana comes from the other side and the siblings help me with the lehenga.

We three walk into our building and Bhaiyu goes to park the car. We ride the elevator up to our floor. I see our house helps rushing up or down the stairs. My forehead creases in confusion, I spot Yug on the stairs with his phone pressed to his ears. His eyes meet Sahil's, a conversation happens between the two with their eyes only. "Come." Sahil puts his palm on my lower back, our bodies turned towards the stairs.

"Come where? I'm climbing these stairs in this huge as fluff— Aaah. Oh." I am in his arms bridal style before I can finish my sentence. Suhana walks ahead of us and reaches her man, Sahil climbs the stairs.

"Why are we going up there?" I ask him. "You'll see in a second." He smiles down at me. The terrace door is wide open, so when we start climbing the last few steps, I see the decor. Hindu wedding decor.

Huh?

There's panditji, our parents, Falak and Yug's parents and Myra. Ellie's family. Robin. Two of my maternal aunties.

We are getting married? Again?

"Chaar laavan kaafi nahi lage, socha saat or le loon." He breathes in my ears, I turn my eyes from the decor to my husband's grinning face. Advik stops behind us. Sahil helps me stand on my feet.

"Quick kids. We have to leave for hotel to check up on the guests." Samyak Papa yells out for us. With our fingers laced, we walk towards the mandap.

We walk closer to the steps of the mandap. Zee comes with Coco and Oreo. In suits. Pup suits. Awee! Myra behind them with a plate that has two garlands. Myra hands us the garlands. Sahil kisses her head and she walks down with Zee and our pup handsomes. The guys steps beside us. Advik and Yug behind me, Killian and Robin behind him. I chuckle.

"Don't you fucking dare." He glares at Yug and Adv. They shrug his warning off and bend down to pick me up. I squeal in the air, giggling loudly. Killian and Robin picks him up. He moves the garland in one hand and then yanks me close with his other hand on the back of my head. I let him put the varmala in my neck, his lips brushes my forehead making me blush. He gets down first and then gives me his palm, Yug and Advik lets me down in front of him. I hold the varmala between us and make a thinking face— I expect him to force me to make him wear— but he gets down on his knees, waiting patiently for me. Our friends hoots behind us.

I bend down and put the garland in his neck. Then cupping his cheek, I give him a kiss on his nose. He gets up and we both walk to our chairs. Everyone takes seat around us. Panditji starts the holy fire and chants some mantras. He asks for the groom's sister to step in and do the gathbandhan. Falak hands Suhana a pink long cloth and she drapes it over his shoulder, then she takes the end of my dupatta and knots them together. Like really, really well. Once she's done, she goes back to her place.

My husband picks up the knot she just tied and pulls on the ends making it more tighter. Crowd around us starts laughing. "Badtameez." Suhana smacks his back from behind. "I trust the sister in you, not the bestfriend." He replies back.

"What do you think I'm gonna do? Hook her up with someone behind your back?" Suhana leans beside him, her eyes narrowed. Falak pulls her back. "Kids. Fight later." Avni Maa glares at her children. Panditji looks at us with judgy eyes, Sahil gestures at him to continue.

Arey ye toh bata, dekhta hai tu kya...— For God's sake woman stop!

We are then asked to stand up for pheras.

~~~

(Phera description? Google Baba zindabad!)

First Phera: The first round of pheras is all about promising each other nourishment, prosperity, and happiness.

Second Phera: In the second phera, the couple prays to God for physical and mental strength to lead a blissful life.

Third Phera: In the third phera, the couple prays to God for wealth and the couple promises that they would be loyal in this matrimonial union.

Fourth Phera: In the fourth phera, the couple vows to shower each other with immense happiness, love and respect.

Fifth Phera: The fifth phera is taken to beget obedient & noble children, and to pray for the couple together prays for the welfare of all living entities in the universe.

Sixth Phera: In the sixth phera, the groom asks, "Rutubhyah shat padi bhava," that translates to "You have filled my heart with immense happiness by taking these six steps with me. Will you fill my heart with happiness by walking with me like this forever?" To this, the bride replies, "Yajna Hom Shashthe Vacho Vadet," which means "I will stand by you forever and always keep you happy."

Seventh Phera: In the seventh and the last step together, the couple seals the bond and promise to be faithful companions. The groom declares each other as man and wife by reciting, "Om Sakhi Jaradastayahga." He also promises to his wife "I am yours and you are mine for eternity." The bride accepts this proclamation and says, "Attramshe Sakshino Vadet Pade". This means, "As God is the witness, I am your wife now. We will love, honor and cherish each other forever."

~~~

We sit back down and Avni Maa hands him the nuptial chain while my mother forwards the sindoor. He keeps the nuptial chain in his fist and takes a pinch of sindoor. My lungs runs out of any air to breathe when he starts leaning closer, I know someone picked up my maangtika, his eyes breaks our eye contact and he looks at my partition.

"You know love confessions during this moment are considered to be the most beautiful thing to ever exist. It beats every romantic thing in the whole wide world." I mumble softly, he focuses on the task but his lips stretch into a big smile telling me he heard me loud and clear.

I close my eyes when his finger touches my skin and it goes all the way back to my crown, some particles of it falls on my nose and lips. I don't know why, but a tear drop rushes out of my eye. He sets back in his chair.

Falak dabs on the tear with a tissue but leaves the sindoor be on my nose. Is he secretly paying Falak to be his bestfriend? She seems to be doing things that would make only him happy and content. Gotta get in touch with my brother regarding this.

Kuch toh gadbad hai Day— God, you just can't shut your mouth?

He unlocks the nuptial chain and wraps it around my neck and locking it behind. Flower petals are showered on us as our friends and family stands up congratulating us. We hug all the elders and our friends.

"On a time limit here kids. Come let's complete the last few rituals!" Dadda calls out loudly before they all start walking downstairs. I turn to face my husband. "You didn't say the words." I pout at him. He chuckles shaking head at me but without replying me, he bends down and picks me back up in bridal style. This time I get comfortable in his arms while he walks us downstairs.

We enter into Mehrotra house and head towards the house temple. Joining our hands infront of our grandparents, we take their blessings. Mumma then gets both our hand prints with something yellow on the wall. Falak brings a white cloth— that has both her and my name embroidered— at my feet, I look at her confused. It happens in the welcoming ritual no? "Humare pass bhi toh humare bache ka good luck hona chahiye na, sara Sahdevs ko hi thodi de denge." My father comments side eyeing his best friend. Samyak Papa laughs shaking his head at his bestfriend.

"Kaisa jalta hai tu Rudre." Samyak Papa teases my father, Papa flips him off behind my mother's back.

Falak helps me pick up the lehenga, I put my feet in the red water and then step on the white cloth, imprinting my footprints under my name. Papa kneels down and picks the cloth up, handing it to his wife. "In the safe." He murmurs to my mother.

My maternal Auntie comes with a plate full of rice puff. Falak and my mother stands behind me with their dupatta flat out in their palms. Suhana and Sa— my husband picks the sides of my lehenga as I scoop the rice puffs and throw it over my head. A tear drop trails down my eye and then another and then another. I stop at the threshold. My mother comes by my side and cups my cheeks. "Sirf idhar tak hi toh mera bacha." She points at the Sahdev entry way.

"Or Ahaa, aap jaa nahi rahe ho, aapko nikala jaa raha hai, hai na Rudra Uncle?" Yug looks at my father wiggling his eyebrows, teasingly. A laugh bubbles up from my chest. "About damn time." My father shakes head at me, I laugh louder. Mumma steps away and he side hugs me.

"Why do you think I agreed to this alliance? Tujhe pass rakhne ko hi toh ye sab planning plotting hui hai." Papa rubs our noses together, it is at that moment a picture is clicked.

"Ho gya? Main kar loon ab?" Avni Maa says out loud from Sahdev doorway. We cross the corridor and stop in front of her. She does our aarti, Suhana keeps the rice filled pot at my feet, I gently—I know, very difficult to do— kick it inside. Falak has something with this white cloth and red water, she's the only one bringing it everytime.

Pyaar ho gya hai tumko iss duty se, Falak?

I step in the water, then on the cloth and walk towards the house temple. We take blessings from our grandparents and ask whatever Avni Maa asks us to.

•

Finally, fluffing finally, we're asked to sit. Avni Maa brings the milk and water in a bowl with flowers floating over it, she asks me for my engagement ring. I hand it to her and she drops it in the bowl and moves her hand around.

Guess who won all three rounds, bishes?

My husband. *cries pathetically in a corner*

But guess who's gonna rule this marriage? Yup. This bish right here!

"You guys have to be there by 6'o clock. The reception starts at 8'o clock but I'll get you out of there by 11 pm so that you can pack and rest before your flight tomorrow." Dadda says standing up from the couch. Samyak Papa and all the other elders get up too.

Flight? What flight? Whose flight? Why am I not included in any discussion ever? I know nothing about things around me!

Maybe because you're always busy having stupid conversations in your head?

Pagal.. tha main pahle, yaa ab ho gya— Fluffing shut up yaar!

"We have to check up on the guest. Should I send your food from the hotel or—"

"Pizza. I want pizza." I raise ny hand cutting Samyak Papa off. He laughs before turning to his son. "Fine you guys order in."

"But aap kabhi rest karoge?" I ask as they all get ready to leave.

"Once we check up on the guests, we'll have our lunch there and take some rest. You do the same, okay?" Papa kisses my crown. Robin leaves with them. Zee sleeps in Ellie's lap so Killian takes him from her and they walk to their room in Mehrotra house. Yug places our orders for the pizza.

"Can I take off the jewellery, dupatta and the cancan skirt?" I look at Suhana and Falak, they nod back at me. "Or you can just change." My husband says.

"Nah. I'll want to wear the outfit for some more time." I look down at my wedding outfit. It's so fluffing gorgeous, I don't when or if I'll ever be in this again. "Sahil can help you, nahi Bhai?" Suhana turns to her brother. He stands up shaking head at his sister— these two have something going on and I know nothing about it. I feel left out—and I forward my hand, he tugs on it making me stand.

"You better return with that tubelight brain of yours working, Ahaana. Because help me god, I wanna tear out your insides at this point." Why is this girl so angry at me? What did I ever to do her? I keep looking at my bestfriend shocked. Sahil tugs on my hand making my feet move.

"Don't let my pizza go cold." I mumble following him to my bedroom in Mehrotra house. We decided it would be weird for all of us if I started calling his room, our room or my room. So our rooms gonna be our rooms. Like whenever we stay here, we can be wherever we want. My room or his room. We moved some of my essential in case we stayed over in his room, and his in my room. You get what I'm saying, right?

"So how about you give me a date and time on when you gonna give me the words." I ask sitting on the vanity chair. He stands behind me and starts taking off his accessories one by one.

"I already gave them to you, Shea." He mumbles smiling, I turn around, my eyes wide. He keeps on unbuckling his wrist watch with his lips split in a smile. He's laughing at me!

"Gave them to me? When?" I stand up facing him.

"Today." He replies, now looking at me.

"I must have been sleeping at the time, cause I heard nothing!" I swat at his chest. He chuckles.

"You heard nothing because I said nothing." If he's trying to royally piss me off, it's working.

"Sahil. Stop playing with me!" I warn him. He holds my shoulders and turns me back around. Pushing me in the chair, he starts unpinning my dupatta.

"Seriously Sahil. Stop it." I glare at him, he stays unfazed and just continues pulling the pins holding the dupatta over my head one by one and keeping them on the vanity. I feel my insides boiling. But I clench my jaw, his eyes never meets mine. I look away too, tears starts running down my face at his nonchalant behaviour.

The dupatta is taken away from my head, he spreads it in my lap, his chin comes to rest on my shoulder. He takes my index fingers in his hand and starts moving it on the written detailing of the dupatta.

He starts trailing my finger under the words and whispers them in my ears. "ਮੈਂ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਪਿਆਰ ਕਰਦਾ ਹਾਂ" He stops. I gasp. "Main tuhana pyaar karada haan?" I look up at his face, our eyes meet. He nods.

"Main tuhana pyaar karada haan." He repeats. I wail loudly throwing my hands around his neck, he chuckles wrapping me in a bone crashing hug.

"I love you." I weep in his arms. "I love you too, Shea. I love you so fucking much!" He replies back. Finally. Finally replies back.

The door bangs open behind us, I peek still in the hug to see a furious Suhana standing there. Sahil breaks the hug just as she steps in the room. My brother hot on her heels. Falak and Yug stop at the threshold laughing in eachothers arms.

"Tell me you told her." Suhana grits out angrily, Sahil stands between us, he keeps hand on her chest to keep her away from me. Her glaring eyes stays at me.

"I told her." Sahil says, smiling all the while.

"Now just once, just let me hit her once." She begs turning her eyes to her brother, I humph, offended.

"Why? What did I do?" I ask narrowing my eyes at her. She's being mean queen for no reason at all.

"Just once Sahil. Just once." She shows him her index finger, he shakes his head in negative, covering me with his back. I get out from behind him and go to her. He pulls me back with one hand and keeps Suhana away with the other hand.

"Advik!" Sahil shouts for his bestfriend, my brother continues laughing with his hand over his mouth.

"You're always throwing around the word dum dum like confetti no? Guess who's dum dum, Ahaana?" Suhana scowls at me, she then looks around and spots a cushion.

"It's you bitch!" She throws it on my face. I look back at her with wide eyes. She did not just call me dumb! The audacity. That's it, we no longer friends.

"We done! We over!" I throw back the cushion at her. Falak and Yug continues laughing hiding in eachothers arms. "Done!" I point at them too. "And fluffing done!" I point at my brother.

"How many times did I ask you to see the embroidery?" Suhana asks, squinting her eyes at me.

"How would I know what's written? I thought its 'sada saubhagyavati bhavh' in punjabi!" I reply back throwing my hands in air. Suhana slaps my head upside down before her brother can stop her.

"Who asked you to think?" She hits me again and then turns around and leaves. The fluffing bish! Imma get back to her for this soon. The door closes as all four of them leaves us alone once again. I breathe out and then back in a few times to calm my raging mind.

My husband fists my hairs from the back of my neck and pulls me in his chest. "I love you, biwiji." He whispers over my lips and then smooches. Our first kiss as man and wife!

"I love you too." I breathe before taking his lips in a delicious deep kiss. His lips felt soft... smooth against mine. Falling open at the brush of my tongue, welcoming me, in, just making it all feel right. Rough breathy sounds escapes me, his hand tightens over my back, as he sucks on my lower lip. He doesn't kiss me, he worships me. My mouth. My breaths. The teasing long licks. The wandering hands. The world turned around us, blurring and disappearing.

When we finally pull apart, I keep my head on his chin taking long and deep breaths. His lips stays on my head as he catches on his breaths. I stay close, wrapped in his arms. His hands move to collect my long hairs, he takes the claw clip from the vanity and puts my hair up in a bun. His fingers return to my neck and he unclasps the necklace. The maang tikaa goes next, followed by the earrings. He then makes me sit on the bed's edge and takes my wrist in his. He removes the kaleeres.

Then his fingers moves to my shoulder, he flips the blouse edges inside out and unpins the dupatta. The pleats fall down my hand to the bed.

The door knocks. "Ahaa, pizza's here." Ellie says from outside the door, our eyes stays connected. He gently lowers his mouth to mine and pecks my lips. "I love you, Mrs. Sahil." He whispers before taking a step away. I gulp the lump in my throat. He removes his turban and the upper coat of the sherwani. I pick up the dupatta and throw it over my shoulders, covering my chest. "Should I send Suhana to help you remove the cancan skirt?" He asks.

"Please." I whisper back, he nods and leaves me alone in the room. Suhana comes a second later, she rolls her eyes at me. I smile at my bestfriend. She kneels down and collects the lehenga, bringing it up. I move my hands under it and untie the puffy skirt. Sahil knew I wouldn't be able to handle the weight if the skirt was attached to the lehenga, so he kept it separated. I step out of it and she leaves the lehenga down. So so light!

When she turns to leave, I hold her wrist. "You breaking up with me Ahaa?" She questions teasingly, I shake my head and let her embrace me. "I wanted to bang your head to the wall when I realised you didn't understand what's written." She murmurs in ny ears making me chuckle. We break the hug and hand in hand, walk to all the others.

The reception was same old, usual boring. People came up the stage, congratulated us, gave us gifts... we thanked them, got pictures clicked and repeat. It was more of public thing so Rudra Uncle had all the clan on strict rules. No trouble, at all. Everyone on their best behaviours, especially Shea. She got the longest lecture and after he turned around, she made a face behind his back. Little brat!

Even the clan was dead tired after the hindu wedding. No one really slept the last few days and the dance, alcohol got to them. Their energy levels went shooting down by the time we got done with the photoshoot for the reception. All of us were just meeting eachother's eyes and waiting for the clock to struck 11pm. My wife was done too. She seemed on edge of passing out anytime and Rudra Uncle noticed that as he somehow managed to get us all out by 10:45.

By the time we reached the hotel room, she was fast asleep in my arms. Falak was asleep too, Ellie, Myra and Suhana as well. We all headed to our rooms and got into beds, calling it a night.

Our flight leaves at 10 AM tomorrow. Before that we have to drop Ellie and family to the airport at 7 AM. First night was least of my worries, when I had a little tired brat in my arms as my wife. Finfuckingally!

~Just Married~

~—Mr & Mrs Sahil Sahdev—~

Waheguruji da khalsa... waheguruji di fateh!