"Aren't you a sneaky bitch?" Are the first words out of my sister's mouth after we are settled on the dining table. I look at Shea, she stops scrolling through the reels. Good God! How can she watch other people talk about their outfits all the time?

"Yes, I am, but I'm also small so it's adorable." Shea replies with the brightest smile I have ever seen on her face. "Muh mat lagio tu mere, kamini!" Zia throws a grape at her; it hits her on the forehead and falls down. She leans to get it back and after making fifty-six shades of adorable faces, she finally gets back up.

"Okay! Tyode veer the lag loongi, thik?" Shea smirks at Suhana, I just shake my head at the two. Kaha phas gya waheguru? I shot Advik a message asking about his whereabouts.

"Iske hi lagio tu, kanjar." Zia says making a disgusting face at her best friend and then going to ignore her. "What did I dooo?" Shea whines.

"Chup hi rah tu." Zia says. Ahaana shrugs saying okay and goes back to stuffing her face.

"Where's Maa?" I ask our house help.

"They all went for Roka preparation, Baba. They had to finalize the priests for paath and the official Roka ceremony, and also had to buy some gifts for Chinu beta." Our eldest house help Amarjeet Dada says. Zia and I chuckle at the name. Shea pouts looking at Dada.

Shea's grandparents named her Chinu. As she was so little at the time of birth. Her Grandma always called her Chinu, never Ahaana or Mehr or Shea. Just Chinu. The name stuck with all the elders. She desperately tries to get them to not call her that, but no one really cares what she wants. She is everyone's Chinu.

"Daaa... Ahaana. Aahu. Kuch bhi... just not Chinu." Shea cribs at Dada but he just laughs and walks away agreeing with her. We all know he's still calling her Chinu.

"The first person you called was Yug. I can't believe you!" Zia snaps at me. "What first person?" I ask puzzled. What were we talking about before this? Oh. The proposal.

"First person...? For what?" Advik says behind me, and I face palm. Not him, he's going to throw so many tantrums over this.

"I proposed to him last night and the first person to know about this was Yug. Can you believe him Bhai?" Ahaana points her finger at me. My eyes narrow into her. The little spoiled princess!

"You proposed to him? I thought he proposed to you." Oh. Wow. Guess who's now going under the bus. I stand up from my chair and beside my best friend.

"I did but she proposed before me. And you know who knew about her proposal out of all of us?" I make sure to get both Zia and Advik hooked to their throats. "Falak Khanna. She told Falak about this. Your Falak. The woman you love from the core of your being. And that woman didn't tell you anything, when she was the one helping her prepare for this since last four days. Falak helped her get the ring. Falak helped her with the decoration. And Falak didn't utter a word to you. Let's go Advik. Come on. Let's go and bully her!" Since this dramatic princess of mine has returned, something really bad went wrong with me. I am turning into such a drama queen. Is Hood right to call me princess? Am I the second princess after Shea and not Myra?

"You little hoe! You told her and not me." I was so busy getting Advik's mind off Yug, I didn't realize even Suhana didn't know the whole thing. She was calling her sneaky bitch for this? It just keeps getting better. Poor Shea. Aww, Honey!

This means out of all of us... only Falak knew that she was proposing? How did she do that? It's so hard for her to keep things to herself. Does this mean she is good at hiding thing from us now? Even Suhana. What else we don't about her? Now I feel like we don't know anything at all. She has never told me about her time back there other than that incident.

"Fuck you... not in the ears or palm or arms, exactly where it--" I slap a hand over my sister's mouth. Ahaana's face goes red and so does all of ours. Then these girls call our language dirty. Take a look in the mirror someday. Suddenly the funny-ness washes away... I meet my sister's eyes to see tears in them.

Great! Can't even have some jokes these days without their dam breaking out.

"It's not-- It's not about if Falak knew about this or not. It's about why I wasn't even informed after it was done, you know. I have missed out on so much of your life. I know you have missed out on my life as well. But I always... always made sure to tell you. I always left you messages about every little and big thing even when I knew you'd not reply. I told you when I got into relationship with Yug. I told you when our parents found out. I told you when he proposed. I told you everything." Suhana says to her, and a tear drops down her cheeks. I wipe it away silently, not knowing what to say here.

"I-- give me one second, okay?" Shea takes a step closer but then stops and runs towards Mehrotra house. We're still looking at where she went confused, when she returns with a box in her hand. She stops in front of Suhana.

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure your fluffer brother would say yes as he still didn't reply to my 'I love you' yet. And also, because I was preparing this for you for after he said Yes. I really hate to do this in front of these two but whatever. They have been in our girl group since the very start... inse kya hi chupana." She stretches her hand towards Zia. My sister takes the square box from her hand.

Advik steps closer to see what's in it. Yes, we are hooked. Always have been and always will be when it comes to these two crazies of ours. Suhana picks up the card and two same pairs of Kaleeras comes in our view, along with many old friendship bands. One looks at them and I know all of them are of Ahaana, the ones Suhana gave her on every friendship day. Suhana opens the card.

"As I am getting married to your stupid brother, I can't ask you to be my bridesmaid. So, this is my proposal to you (I hope that fluffer said yes to my proposal or we will have to commit a murder, sweetie. I am sorry to put you in this position.) But if you are reading this, I assume he did say Yes. The last friendship band that you gave to me before I left, was one of those things which gave me strength. Strength to not give up on life... on myself. If that wasn't in my wrist na, I would have sliced it like a cucumber the first year of college. Kidding. I made the designs of these kaleeras on each friendship day.

It took me five years to come up with what you have in your hand today. Four years for the design and then another one to handmade these. Firstly, I was just making these for you only after I got to know that you got in relation with that crazy best friend of mine-- He is my Best friend. I don't care who says otherwise. But then when you visited me and told me everything about him, I knew I was getting him back... so I started making one for myself as well.

So will you add this special friendship band of mine on the very very special day of your life? Will you share your special day with my special day? (So many specials, it's getting my head spinning)

I love you, Suh! Thank you for making life so easier for me from day one. You my best biatch!

"I love this, and I love you. I will love being a part of your special and making you a part of mine." Suhana tugs her closer to both of us.

"Yuck. So cheesy. Could it get any more disgusting?" Advik makes a puking face; I agree with him. Suhana elbows me in the stomach before hugging her best friend. I take advantage of the situation and put my hand on Shea's back.

"Sharam karle, kanjar." Advik shoves my hand away and hugs her from the back leaving no place for me to put my hands on her. Thank God we decided to move out. It's a blasphemy to not touch her when she's right there.

"I'm dying. Move back." Comes out her muffled voice and all of us move away from her, she takes a deep breath, pretending to be breathless. Dramebaaz!

"Anyone interested in breakfast!?" We hear angry voice of Dada and quickly rush to our seats. If you think our mothers are scary, you have clearly not met these two. Dada and his wife. They have been with us for 2 decades now and still scares us more than anyone when it comes to food.

"After this bring the designs." The spoiled princess pins all three of us with a look. As the princess begged --she ordered but I'd like to believe she pathetically begged & that's why I agreed-- Suhana, Advik and I are handling her outfits. She's doing nothing. Not one thing from the wedding preparations. Falak's handling all her jewelries for all the functions. Myra booked her Makeup artist. Yug's mother booked the Mehandi artist. Yug finalized the venues. Falak's father and Rudra's uncle looking after the decor. We three are doing her outfits. A team from Mehr handling all the families' outfits and mine. Everyone's doing something or the other but this girl--

--She's resting. She stopped taking any more work since our wedding date was decided. She goes to work, completes her part, comes back home even before lunch... sips on coconut water or fruit juices saying she gotta glow. And she's ordering everyone around. It's like we are working for her. We kind of are but that doesn't mean she can snap at us like she snapped at me on call yesterday. The little shit almost brought tears to my eyes with what bullshit things she said to me. Almost gave me insecurities and truckloads of issues. Instead of honeymoon, I think I will have to go therapy after the wedding.

Geez... still wonder why I call her little spoiled princess?

•

"Bhai.." I hear Suhana call me just as I open the door to my room. I look back at her and then where she's gesturing to. Ahaana sitting on the couch with her eyes on the side table. On the picture frame of all four of our grandparents. It was a really old picture. One they clicked on Mehr's inauguration day.

"Don't you think before you guys' step into this... she deserves to let go of all her sufferings? We all mourned him, Bhai. Everyone got a chance to cry for him heartily... but what about her? She--"

"Shut it Suh!" I stop her from saying further, Suh murmurs 'please' but I walk back towards my room ignoring her. Ignoring both of them.

"Is that why you haven't replied to her 'I love you' yet? because you didn't forgive her?" My sister's voice stops me for the second time in the last two minutes. My molars grind together.

"You don't start being a pain in my ass. I already have her whining about this every two second. This marriage wouldn't be happening if I didn't have the reply to her love, you in me." I murmur as gently as I could muster.

"She needs this bhai. You and me, we both know this. She deserves this." Suhana says and walks away before I could. I stand there, letting her words run through my head and after exhaling a loud huff, I descend down the stairs. My eyes meet one of the staff and I motion him to leave along with the others. He nods and all three of them walks out and to the Mehrotra house. She looks at me puzzled; I forward my hand to her.

"Where?" She asks following me. I stop in front of the bedroom and pull out the keys from under the flower vase beside the door. "Shai-- I.." She trails off as my fingers works on unlocking the bedroom and in one swift motion... we are standing outside the room with the door wide open.

His empty bed is the first thing we both see. I feel her palm getting sweaty. "There's something under the pillow." I merely whisper to her before unlocking our intertwined hands, I step aside, her eyes meet mine and when I nod... she takes her first step into the room and at the same time I see a tear slide down her eyes. She closes the door behind her. I lean against the wall... letting her have this.

Even with the door closed, I know he's right outside. I could feel his presence in my body. I bring my attention to the cold, chilling room. The room which had life in every corner, every nook now felt cold and lifeless, the bright colors on the walls doing nothing. The pillow. With my gaze intact on it, I take steps away from the entrance of the room and towards the bed. Taking a seat on the edges of it, I slide my hand under it. My hand touches not one, but two things. I take them out.

A photo frame and a cassette.

Photo frame of all four of us with Dadu. It was one of our last pictures. Picture from my last birthday, six years ago.

Brushing my tears away, I put the cassette in the player and push the play button. It takes a second—too long but the moment—

"Mehr. Suh. Start." I hear Dadu's voice followed by both Suhana and my hum. My heart pounds hardly and suddenly I feel pain in strumming from my heart to my entire body, the second I hear him singing.

This... he recorded this after Badi Maa passed away. He sang it for her. One of the last few pieces he dedicated to the love of his life. My mind takes me back to the day we did this. All three of us, right here in this room. He cried not in front of anyone. The first time that we saw our hero cry, it was just the two of; Suhana and Ahaana. He cried with us. His best friend left a while back and that day... he lost the love of his life as well. That day... I remember what he said before he decided to sing for her.

"Bas ab jaana hai bachon... aapki badi Maa akeli hongi waha..." That day was the day he officially started waiting—For his life to be over. Waiting for that call from Waheguru, so he could be with his loved ones. Even though he loved us, he wanted to be with the ones who loved him more than all of us combined.

Flashback

Suhana moves the strings of her guitar; she's still learning but has gotten so much better. Dadu's eyes never leaving the picture on the wall. Badi Maa's picture. The only frame in this room and the biggest with only her in it. They had a fight about this. He wanted a picture of both of them, she wanted only hers. As if she knew that he'd need it later.

I look back at him when his voice fills the room, catching up with Suhana's guitar.

Nagmen hain... shikve hain
Kisse hain... baatein hain...

Nagmen hain... shikve hain
Kisse hain... baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hai
Yaadein yaad aati hai...
Baatein bhool... jaati hai
Yaadein yaad aati hai...
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hai
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

Suddenly I'm not in this room. I'm in the park... playing with him. He's swinging both Suhana and I on the swings. Then I'm on the dining table... throwing tantrum about not eating, everyone yelling at me... being frustrated at me and him feeding me with his hands. He's beside Suh, taking care of her when she's burning with fever.

Ye jeewan dil jaane
Dariya ka hai paani
Paani toh beh jaaye
Baaki kya reh jaaye
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

Nagmen hain shikve hain
Kisse hain baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hai
Yaadein yaad aati hai
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hai
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

We are in his bed and he's telling us stories. We patiently sit by his bedroom door, waiting for the clock to struck 4:30PM so he can wake up from his afternoon nap and we go outside with him. We're asking him to sign our report cards not because we didn't score good but because, we love seeing him being so proud of us.

Duniya mein yoon aana
Duniya se yoon jaana
Aao toh le aana
Jaao toh le jana
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

Baatein bhool jaati hai
Yaadein yaad aati hai
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chale jaane ke baad aati hain
Yaadein yaadein yaadein

The songs comes to an end and I'm brought back into the moment I am right now. Alone. So so alone in a room that was always filled to the brim with life and laughter. It all comes together in a knot... a knot tightening with each passing second in my heart and then... it breaks free. It just snaps... and I let out the loudest shriek. With my voice heavy with pain, guilt and most of all... grief. Agony. Sadness... so much sadness laced in my voice, pounding with each inhale and exhale in my chest, streaming down my eyes.

"Daaaaa.... Aaaahhhh... haaaaa...." And I cry. I let myself cry. Being in my sanctuary, my safe place, wrapped in his remnants after five long years. Feeling him and not being able to feel him completely at the same time.

"I-I am sorrry. Dadu. Please. Mehr late hogi... itti late ho gai... Dadu." I speak through my clenched teeth and tear-filled eyes... my voice heavy with pain.

"I'm sorrrry... I'm sorry Dadu. Maaf kardo, please Maaf kardo apni Mehr ne... please Dadu..."

My heart breaks as I hear my Shea cry in such agony, I go to open the door, but another hand beats me to it. Shika Maa quickly walks inside the room. Before my eyes could find Shea in the room, I feel another presence beside me. "Thank you for giving this to her." Rudra uncle pats my chest before following his wife. He leaves the door open, but I don't step inside, they need this. All three of them... but that doesn't make me leave.

I stay there. Watching them sit down on the floor, she wails in her mother's arms. My heart clenches painfully. Watching her cry has always been my biggest weakness.

"I have been such— such a bad daughter, friend, everything bad. Why are you forgiving me? Wh—Why are you not complaining? Why not disowning me!? I deserve that not this. Not getting married—"

"Aaha. Please calm down. Papa can't see your tears, bacha." Rudra Uncle cups her face and stops her from speaking anymore. She blubbers something through her closed mouth, tears shedding and blocked nose.

"Kill me. You guys should jus—"

"Shut up!" Shika Maa yells angrily. She tucks Shea's hairs away from her tear-soaked face and makes her look into her own eyes.

"Kuch bhi bolna bas? Kisi ko tere ye sab bolne se kya farq padta hai... kuch nahi sochna?" Shika Maa scolds her. But that doesn't stop Shea from crying, her hiccups ringing in the room loudly.

"Dadu... Papa... Dadu..." Shea cries harder in her father's arms. Rudra Uncle gathers her, bringing her closer to his chest. He looks at the empty bed and to his crying daughter.

"He wanted to see you one last time, Ahaana. He tried his best to hold onto his last breaths for you, Aahu. Kaha chala gya tha tu uss din?" Her father asked. She looked up from his chest.

"I didn't know Papa. I—I di.. didn't knoww. I forgot my... phone and... had— had accident, Papa. I didn't know..." She wails loudly. My knees felt weak, and I let myself down on the floor, not having the energy to see her breaking apart like that. But most of all, not having anything to help her out of this.

"Accident? What accident?" His father is on high alert the moment he hears the words come out of her mouth. "Nothing big. But— my phone wasn't with me, Papa. I didn't know anything." She doesn't give them more than that.

The three of them fall silent... or more like her parents let her grieve. As Suhana said, she needed this. We needed this before we step into our new life. I push myself to stand, closing the door behind me, I leave the three of them to be.

Sometimes you don't need words. Silence speaks more than some words could ever. Her family knew she regretted how she handled things back then. They didn't need any apologies from her, for them, her mere presence... her coming back to them and be their little kid all over again was enough.

She was here. And it was enough for all of us. It was enough for my grandpa too. Aakhir unse acha unki Mehr ko samjhta hi kaun tha? She may not have been there in his last moments. But if he visited someone after his soul left his body, his Mehr was the first one. And maybe he knew, he saw, why exactly she couldn't see him one last time.

And who knows, he might have been the one looking after her these two years? Guiding her every step of the way? Being her angel?

Whatever it was, however, it was, we're here today. Getting ready to start a life together and nothing would ever make my Dadu happier than this. Sahil Mehr saath hai... khush hai.. wo kaafi hai unke liye!