"You guys sit, I'll take it from here." I said after they were done with their identifications, Advik took Ahaana to the couch, Suhana and Falak followed them. Yug still busy informing all our parents we reached.

"Rooms are ready?" I questioned; the receptionist replied with a huge smile. Tone it down, lady. Someone is still pissed off from the Amara drama.

"Three rooms under Sahil Sahdev. Here are the keys, Sir." She pushed the keycards, and I nodded in Thank you. I handed the keycards to the bellman; he started putting all our luggage in his trolley. I nodded at my friends, and they followed me.

"There was some issue with the booking. We only have three rooms." I informed. Everyone halted in their steps. We turned to face each other.

"Ahaa and I'll share." Falak beat Suhana to it, I internally rolled my eyes.

"I'll go talk to them." Advik started to leave; I pulled him back with his shirt.

"You don't think I had a nice chat with them? They said they'll make sure to arrange one more room for us tomorrow. It's just one night, we'll adjust. No need to create a scene." The arsehole so pissed off at me, he's not even speaking to me. He has been giving me the stink eye since this morning.

Sucks to be me!

Advik shrugged his back making my hand slide down, I pushed my hand in pocket. I'll talk to him tomorrow; I have better things to do right now. "I-I'll share the room with her. It's just one night. I don't want you guys to ruin your vacation for her." I said, never taking my eyes off my best friend. Advik took a step closer; we were in public, or he'd punch me in the face. Yug looked at me wide eyed, of course, I was letting the arsehole share room with my sister willingly. Desperate times, desperate measures.

"I don't need your fucking 'kindness', she'll share the room with Falak and me." Advik said through his clenched jaw, I am seconds away from knocking his teeth out. Someone step in!

"Bhai— it's... it's fine. It's just one night. We'll ask for extra bed. Don't worry." She did. Thank fuck!

"Ahaana—"

"Please, bhai? You guys are always so busy in your works. Give sometime to each other. Stop worrying over me, I feel bad." She slid in between her brother and I, my front touching her back, I took a step back, maintaining some distance --needing-- some space between us.

I waited for Advik to reply, he looked at me in warning as if saying, 'I wish I could kill you and dance over your grave' with his eyes. I get the memo, dude. "If you're uncomfortable, you let me know, all right?" He looked to his sister, cupping her cheeks, I internally scoffed. A second ago he had a murderer look and now caring as fuck brother look? How do you guys manage to switch your expressions so fast? I need classes!

I started walking away-- only way they'll know I am done with this conversation. The bellman waiting for us by the elevator, he pushed the button and it instantly opened-- again, thank fuck-- everyone joined me in the cubical space. The whole ride up to our floor was one of the worst soundless elevator rides ever. I have been around these guys for longer than I want to count, and it was the most suffocating 3 minutes of my life. I hate it when they are talking and I hate it more when they are so fucking silent, I mean who the fuck died?

"This will be your rooms, Sir. 2501. 2502. 2503." The bellman, pointed to all the three rooms. The other bellman unlocked the room. Yug and Suhana pointed to their luggage bags and Manish--the bellman-- got both the bags out. I walked to the room no 2503, Advik, Falak and the one who shall not be names so often, stopped by the other room. The bellman followed the earlier procedure-- unlock the room, get their luggage out and wish them night. She stayed back with her brother and best friend, and I felt my anger rising.

The bellmen nodded at me after they were done putting mine and her luggage in the room, I tipped them and they left leaving the four of us in the arcade. A part of me wanted to stand there and watch her make her way towards me, and the other part wanted to leave her alone outside the room. If you guys don't already know, I have some serious issues-- kidding---not. I wanna kill her one second and then hug her the next.

I headed in the room, leaving the door ajar behind me; knowing the siblings will want a moment for obvious reasons-- Firstly, her fever came back when we were in the flight. Secondly, he's worried about leaving her alone, with me. As he should be. I am one crazy fucker.

I put both our bags aside and opened mine-- getting a t-shirt and lower out, I walked in the bathroom. By the time, I came back after finishing my business, she was already in there. I didn't react. I wanted her to speak first, I wanted to know what she'd do when we were completely alone for the first time ever.

Her father was always distrustful of me, and I was under serious observation all my life. The alliance was decided when we were kids, but he kept it hidden-- for as long as he could-- I found out when we were teenagers. But from that day onwards, her father started keeping me at arm's length with her, I wasn't allowed to be alone with her or be with her romantically until she turned eighteen. We spent time alone, our friends made that happen, but she was too young then and I wanted her father to trust me fully, so I'd keep my distance. I wouldn't touch her unnecessarily, hug her or kiss her.

Kiss her? That actually never happened. Maybe a peck or two on the forehead or cheeks but other then that--nope! Young Sahil was a gentleman-ly charming fucker!

"Did you-- did you ask for the extra bed?" Her voice was merely a whisper in the silent room, I didn't reply. This is first thing she says. Really? And this was the same woman who'd sneak in my bedroom because-- she wanted to, and she could. I was the stupid one then, I'd go drop her back. In my defense, night-time was a sensitive time for a growing up boy, who had no control over his testosterone.

"Shai?" She whispered again, I kept my eyes glued to my phone, this fucking name in this fucking voice. "They didn't have any extra. Everything's full. We are adults and are fully capable of sharing a bed, or you're not?" Then I looked up, she continued looking at me quietly, after some moments of silence, she just bobbed her head in agreement. I nodded back, noticing the clothes in her hands, I took a sidestep from the bathroom door. She walked past me with slow steps.

"Don't shower. I am hungry, do you want something?" She whispered a simple 'no' and closed the door. I breathed harshly, what the fuck does she means by no? She has to take her fucking medicines!

I wasn't actually hungry; we all just ate at Mumbai Airport, but I knew she needed to eat-- she barely had 2-3 bites of that cheesecake--so I had to put an order for myself too. Opting for tomato basil soup, cheese toast for her and a salad for myself, I placed the order. I was freaking out to my fucking wits, it was 15 degrees here in Srinagar, we leave for Leh day after tomorrow, if she's not okay by then-- I'll have to cancel this trip. I am not taking her Leh in this condition, that too on bike. I'll also need to create a situation as excuse. Good lord, what did I get myself into?

The door behind me opened and then lightly closed— I wanted to turn around— so so so desperately, but I didn't, I continued scrolling down the contact list. The bedcovers moved, I put the phone in my lower and looked at her. She was wearing a white color fluffy pj set-- God, she's cold. I had already contacted the hotel when we were at the Mumbai Airport, and she complained about feeling cold—our luggage was already in transit, so I got her a jacket from the Airport— the rooms were all warmed up and ready before we even started flying.

She needs to put better clothes on if she wants to be taken seriously! Such a childish choice.

So, the outfits she wore to Mehr— they were childish choice? My head chimed in. Yeah. Fuck you arsehole!

She snuggled in the bed and curled up under the fluffy blanket. I let her be. If I go under the covers, I'll be lazy as fuck to receive our order. I pulled out some cash from my wallet for the tip and then took out my charger and laptop, plugging in my phone to charger, I settled down on the two-seater sofa. My fingers halted on the laptop, if I get busy in this, she'll sleep. God! She's such a kid. Now I have to keep disturbing her.

Smirking at the idea burning up in my head, I stretched to get the phone. I have one way that'll work wonders— but that might also end up with me dead. I'll take my chances. Going to the sounds, I tapped on the one I have saved as my ringtone. I did it twice, she moved in her sleep. Her hand came out to look for her own phone. I put my device to ear.

"Hey. Amara." I said, loud enough for her to hear, from the corner of my eyes, I saw her go still. I thought she went back to sleep but then she pushed the duvet away from her face, coming directly in my view. I continued my charade.

"Oh! I would have loved spending some time with you too, but you know... sometimes things just don't work the way we want them to." I turned the laptop off and put my feet on the coffee table, getting comfortable for the first time in 16-17 hours. I almost moaned at the feeling.

"Mhm! Yeah. It's actually an arranged setup. Our grandparents wanted us to get married so—" I trailed off, biting insides of my cheeks to stop myself from laughing. She's turning red by the second, I turned my head sideways and our eyes met. Her glaring ones to my soft ones— soft? Please. I raised an eyebrow in question, she picked up the nearest cushion and shot it at me— she always had bad aim— the cushion ended up three feet away from me. I rolled eyes.

The doorbell rang. I stood up throwing the phone on the couch. I didn't look at her, but I could feel her gaze heating up my back. Opening the door, I took the tray from the man and handed him some cash. I walked back to the coffee table; she was still laid down watching my every move with her hawk like eyes.

"There was no one on the phone!" She said while I busied myself getting her plate ready. I didn't reply. Once I was done plating, I walked to her.

"You need to eat. You have to take the medicines." I said standing beside the empty side of bed, she shook her head.

"Your father said if your fever doesn't go down, we have to return." I played the only card that'll work on this hardheaded woman. She knows what her father is capable of— if we don't listen to him, he'll fly down here and take us all back with our fucking hairs. That man is dangerous!

But she doesn't need to know her father isn't aware of her getting the fever back. For him, she was back to her chirpy self after just one dose of Adarsh's uncle's strong stuff. I don't even want to know what that man gives us. Whatever it is, works wonderfully.

"What did you order?" She mumbled trying to peek in the plate. "Roasted tomato basil soup and cheese sandwich."

"Toasted breadcrumbs?" She questioned; I knew what was coming next.

"Three pieces." I replied.

"Cheese sandwich-- toasted and not grilled?" --Ahaana.

"Yeah." --Sahil.

"Two basil leaves on the soup?" --Ahaana.

"Hm." --Sahil.

"Plain processed cheese used?" --Ahaana.

"Yes." --Sahil.

"Parmesan cheese with the soup?" --Ahaana

"Yes." --Sahil.

"Oregano and Italian mix?" --Ahaana.

Shit!

"No." --Sahil.

"I am not eating then." --Ahaana. God! Such a kid! Stub-fucking-born.

"Get up!" I let my hard voice and angry stare do the talking-- who was I fucking kidding--she wasn't ever scared of me, and she'll never be. As I said, stubborn!

"I don't have my soup and sandwich without my seasonings." She pulled the duvet over her face after completing the sentence, my jaw clenched. I hate her eating tantrums!

"I was kidding. I have your preferred seasonings." I picked up the little packets and dangled them in the air, she peeked one eye out from the covers to check. She exhaled loudly knowing there's no saving now, throwing the covers away, she got down the bed and slipped her feet in the hotel room slippers. She's one of those persons who never eats on the bed, she hates eating on the bed. She walked in the washroom, washed her hands, came out and set on the couch. I left her to eat and walked to wash my own hands. The moment I came back in the room-- I froze--fuck no!

Quickly striding to where she was sitting, I pulled my phone out of her hands. She looked up at me with that fucking smirk on her face. All signs of sickness gone away in a snap of finger.

"Did your college not teach you to never touch anyone's phone or any stuff without their permission?" I glared at her.

"Didn't your college teach you to never keep pictures of someone you claim to hate? Your definition of hate is so different then mine." The little miss-I-am-so-sick said. Who named her Ahaana and not Satan's heir? Lucifer's offspring? Devil Minion? Why didn't someone come to me for name suggestions?

"These are old pictures; I have everyone's picture from school days. Unlike you, I don't delete everything or better yet, leave people to die." That was a low blow, I know. But the woman never fails to piss me the fuck off.

She didn't look away or sat down with a sad pout as I wanted her to--I didn't want to carry on this fucking conversation, because guess what-- I don't have the fucking answers. She stood up, standing so close to me that I felt her fluffy night suit brush against my forearm. I, for sure, didn't expect her to take another step closer and stand on my feet, her hands interlocked behind my neck, I went still; my hands remained motionless at my sides. Abort mission. I cannot have her playing with my senses--mind? YES. -- senses-- NOOO! I lose that battle every-fucking-time. She's too good.

As they say, aati mere kandhe tak nahi or chadhi mere sar par rahti hai.. yeah, we have that between us. Literally!

"No one else has a complete album of candid pictures. No one else has the folder named after them. No one else is Shea to you." She whispered, her warm breath fanning my t-shirt and the warmness seeping into my skin, she swayed a bit--instantly my hands went to her waist to keep her still.

"Kyu kia ye sab if you hate me as much as you say you do? Look me in the eye and tell me the rooms were full. Look me in the eye and tell me you booked four rooms but got three. Tell me you asked for extra bed and they didn't have any. Tell me you aren't blaming yourself... killing yourself over the die comment. Tell me you don't want to push me away and also pull me to you and kiss my fluffing breath away." She now stood over her tiptoes, her lips near to my jaw. My hands digged in her waist. I wanted to throw her out of the room or throw her on the fucking bed, but... something... there was this weird thing holding me back.

"I was yours when you were 3 and half, you were mine the day I was born. Aapki rag rag se wakif hoon main, Jaana." I gulped the lump in my throat, I wasn't even breathing until I realized my lungs are about to give up and I'll sprawl out like raita if I don't-just-fucking-breath. Space. I needed space between us. Awareness rushed into me like fire the moment her eyes moved to my lips-- nah. nah nah nah. She looked back at me, and then her face moved. I had to move, do something but my mind wasn't sending the signal to other useless, motionless, headless parts.

"Relax." Instead of her lips on mine, her voice breathed into my ear. I inhaled so fucking harshly, I think I damaged something inside my nose or diaphragm. "You will be the one doing the honors when it finally happens. I wanna lose my senses when I feel your lips moving against mine, your body dancing with mine in a newfound rhythm. Our breaths sync--" I pushed myself away. I just couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me to stand there and hear her say those words, the images moved in my head like a fucking movie. My eyes roamed on her face, one more time, I looked away. I needed to leave. I couldn't fucking breath. Everything in me had stopped working.

I started heading towards the door, when I was just going to close it behind me, she spoke, "Twenty minutes. I need you back here in twenty minutes. Don't make me come get you." I banged the door.

I didn't think. I didn't say. I didn't feel anything till I was at safe distance from her. Minutes later, I found myself in the only place empty; the kids play section. My knees buckled, I went down, my palms on the floor and heaved some breaths. Harshly. My jaw clenched. Everything ached. Everything was a mess. I pushed myself to be in a sitting position and took the support of the wall.

After my heart beats were back to normal. My sweat has dried. My head was no longer a messy heap of shit. I let my body loose. My jaw hurt from being so tightly contracted. I pushed my hair strands back.

"The fucking idiot!" I growled out when I was done getting myself out of the almost anxiety/ anger/ senses attack.

"Don't make me come get you. Like she's my fucking mother. Aai badi meri rag rag se waakif hone wali!" I picked up the little ball from my side and threw it to on the wall, it came back, I continued doing the same thing. Throw. Catch. Throw. Repeat.

I have the pictures because I didn't get the time to delete them. If I did, I'd remove her face from that fucking device first thing. I didn't ask for room and extra bed because it was useless to spend so much money. I mean it's the Punjabi side of me making these money related decisions. How dare she come so close to me? How dare she call herself, Mrs. Sahil Sahdev? I am not giving her my name. Willingly at least. My father will probably drug me and make me sign the papers. The little witch has him wrapped around her tiny little clawy finger.

I leaned my head back, my breathing slowed down. A memory from our past filled my head like all the other thoughts of her. She always had that fire inside which she let out in front of me tonight.

Flashback

"What did you do to my best friend?" I smirked waiting for the drama to unfold. Oh! This just got fun. Need popcorn asap!

"You guys going to stop them?" Falak whispered somewhere beside me, I turned sideways to see her standing there all scared. Psst. No fun. Good thing that bastard Yug was absent, or he'd jump in to be Suhana's pathetic little savior.

"Nah! Not getting into another fight for these two.  We already have made enemy out of most of the school." I waited for some hands to fly, nothing happened. Girls don't even know how to fight-- all bark and no bite.

"They are your sisters, and she's something to you." Falak nodded at me, I shrugged. Don't care. "Shouldn't you be her hero and save her?"

"We are in a fight. And as for Suhana being my sister, she took Madam Mehrotra's side yesterday." I chewed on my chewing gum; my eyes went to my best friend. The idiot was seconds away from jumping down the car hood and saving them. Not today, arsehole. I need entertainment and no one is coming between my happy time. Not even you. I tugged on his tie, he looked at me. "It's their fight. Remember what they did last week?" He nodded but went back to looking at the best friends. Two of these, who are supposed to be my sister and my something-something, got my fucking arse kicked. Advik and I bunked two classes and told them in sheer confidence, the duo went and spewed everything to our mothers and those two told our fathers.

Also, this was nothing serious. A girl, whose name I think is Cherry tripped Suhana when she was coming out of her class after the final bell, it was Ahaana's dance period, so she wasn't there to be her best friends savior. Suhana waited for this Cherry girl to come to the parking lot, when Cherry did come, Suhana pulled on her hairs. Classic schoolgirl fights. Enters Ahaana Mehrotra and she spots Cherry's friend tugging on Suhana's hair. Little Ahaana fumed with rage. Now... back to the present.

Little Ahaana pushed Cherry's friend away. Woah! Feisty. She's now moving to Cherry and tugs her hairs-- the tug was harsh; it must have hurt like a bitch. Cherry shrieks, Ahaana pushed her making her fall down on the floor. Ahaana then pulls Suhana with her wrist to our car. Fuming-ly, might I add.

"How dare she touch my best friend!? You stay here Suhana; I'll go fix her a new face." My brows went to my hairline, big talk little girl. She started to leave but Advik pulled her back--Dammit! It was going so well!

"Ahaana! They'll call Papa." Advik held on to her shoulder and jumped down the car hood, I still laid there watching everything.

"Bhai. No one messes with Sahdev's-Mehrotra's and lives to talk about it. Suh's bleeding." She pointed to Suhana's left knee. It was a minor graze, like--so fucking small-- it wasn't even clearly visible. Dramebaazi!

"I'll fix her a new face!' She repeated.

"Get some new lines, Shea. It gets boring." Our eyes met; she showed me her tongue. Classic Shea!

"I am gonna wreak havoc on that little rabbit for hurting my best friend." She turned around and started walking, she must have taken three steps before she stopped and slowly turned around to look at us. I snorted. Gone was the confident Shea, all her confidence is only when one of us is with her. If she thinks I am getting in this pathetic little fight for her, she's so, so wrong.

"Sahil! Advik! You guys are so bad. Come Ahaana, I'll help you find her a new face." Falak said, I gave her thumps up, she squinted her eyes. Guess who wants to be pranked? Falak misses my bully side.

"Guys come on." Shea murmurs showing us eyes, as if saying something.

"Eh. We don't feel like getting in a fight with a girl. You're a big girl, Aahu, go kill it!" Advik teased her.

"Bhai please chal lo na mainu darr lagta hai akeli nu." We all laugh at her broken punjabi and broken confidence. Her eyes then turned to me. I'm gone!

The moment Shea started taking small steps in my direction, I knew there was no going back. God! The things this girl makes me do. Advik chuckled moving away from her way, she put her hands over mine, the one which was on my chest-- if someone sees us, I am thoroughly fucked. Rudra Uncle will have my ass on a silver platter. He'll also make me change college-- the girls are in their 11th and Falak, Advik and I are in our second year of college. Our college and school are in the same campus so it's easier for us to take the girls home now that Advik and I have started driving. I quickly roam my eyes to see if any teacher is around, finding no one, I look back at the little firecracker in front of me.

"Bub please." The two words were breathed so silently, they didn't even reach me completely, I just knew what she could use against me right now. I don't know where she learnt this word from, but she's been using this one word to make me agree to anything. Last week, when she for the first time ever called me with this name, I was gone. I had to repeat this to myself at least hundred times that she's still just seventeen. I can't date her for one more year.

"God! You are such a child; this is the last time I am saving you." I push my arse down the car hood, everyone stayed behind me as I walked to the Cherry girl.

"Hey. Cherry, right?" I smile at the girl, she just glared at me.

"It's Sherry." oh! Okay!

"Okay, Sherry. See I know my sister and-- her best friend is not as innocent as we would want them to be, but what I do know is-- they don't start first, both of them are naughty but they don't hurt someone for fun. I don't know what happened, I don't wanna know, I just want you to understand that whatever went down today was wrong. Very wrong. You hate them? Don't talk, don't look at them. Ignore their entire existence. Don't hurt them. No one wants to see their kids hurt, neither you nor ours. Do you want her to go home and complain about all this? Or you want your mom to know about all this? You were at fault for tripping Suhana." I very politely said, the girl was starting to get worried, and I didn't want her to be scared of me or anyone. I just wanted her to be away from my girls. You mess with the cats; you get the whiskers. I patted my jacket inside pocket and found a chocolate, I pulled it out and forwarded it to her.

"I am sorry for messing with Suhana. But why did Ahaana get in this? She wasn't even there when this happened. Why did she get involved?" Sherry said now throwing eye daggers behind me, I knew she was getting the same look from Shea.

"I know, you clearly must be new here--" She nodded her head. New girl, all right. "These two come in pair, Sherry. You mess with Suhana; you get Ahaana to deal with you or the other way around." I shrugged, she exhaled loudly before taking the chocolate from me, I smiled. Sherry murmured a soft 'Thankyou' and left without another word; I turned back to deal with my two chumps.

"You gave her my chocolate." This was the first thing Shea cried when I walked back to her, I pulled the door open and motioned at them two to get in, they did. Falak joined them in the backseat, I slid in the passenger seat.

"This was third fight of the week, I had to deal with. It was the last one, you guys get yourself in mess again and I'll tell our parents." I spoke without turning to look back at them.

"But she started it!" Suhana exclaimed.

"And you could have been the bigger person to finish it but no-- you went ahead and pulled her hairs and pushed her on the ground. The girl's hair looked like she just woke up after months of sleep." This time I turned sideways to look at them, they were busy whispering to each other. They whisper when they are talking shit about me. Why did I save them? Again? Oh! Because someone called me 'Bub' and my pathetic heart wouldn't stop its pitter patter.

"Yug is right. You're my personal damnation, Shea. I don't know why... but you have the power to destroy me and only you have the power to restore me." I murmured in the silent room, my voice loud and heavy. I stayed there for some more moments, gathering all the power to stand up and go face her. I can't leave her alone. I need to give her the medicines. She'll come out to look for me. I don't want her wondering around in this cold at this time.

I left the playroom and reached the room in two minutes because of the empty elevators and hallways, I went to knock the door, but it was ajar. My heart started thudding loudly. Shit. Did she leave? Oh God No. Please no. With my heart in throat, I walked in the room and as soon as saw her cuddled up under the duvet, I sighed deeply. Breathing through mouth as if I have just run miles. I wanted a wife; a lover and I got a damn heart-attack waiting to happen. Her eyes were closed and as I looked at her, my heart started his creepy drooling session. I need a new heart. New love interest. New parents who wouldn't tie me to this stunning as fuck evil woman.

Why is she so fucking beautiful? If only she wasn't, I'd have such peaceful life.

"Stop gawking. I know I'm a sight to behold but it's late, get in the bed." Why did I even think she's sleeping? She feeds on sleeping souls, she doesn't sleep. She waits for the right time to make her move. Bloody gorgeous heart stealing woman! Mujhe bhi yahi pasand aani thi puri duniya bhar ki ladkiyon mein se. And what did my grandfather even see in my eyes that he went all cupid on me?

"Stop questioning your life choices and get here." Someone stop her from stating facts about myself, I'll bang her head to the pillow or something. I'll murder her in her sleep. I'll drown her in the bathtub.

"You can barely see me crying or sick, leave it at that."

"Shut up!" Yeah. Around her my tongue and mind takes a back seat and I come with such replies. Shut up? Seriously dumbarse? Knowing, I wasn't going to win this fight, I did what I should have done the moment I stepped inside the room-- close the door, turn the lights off -- I spotted her medicine bag on the coffee table, and I knew she took them-- so that was a relief. I walked to the bed and got under the covers. The bedside lamp was still on, she opened her eyes and gave me that dazzling smile, it filled the cracks of my fucking broken heart. Fuck she has such alluring smile. Her eyes twinkled with happiness when I spread my arm out and she moved to be closer to me.

"You won't drop me back home?" She teased, her face on my biceps, I curled that same hand and patted her head softly.

"You are twenty-four, not seventeen." I replied back, I didn't want to, but words just slipped out.

"I saved you half sandwich and that salad of yours." She changed the topic knowing if we discuss our past, I'll maybe loose my shit.

"I ain't hungry." I moved my other hand to turn the lamp off, the room engulfed in darkness, she shuffled closer. I felt my mouth go dry. Her closeness. Fuck!

"Thankyou for coming back to me." She whispered in the darkness. her breath warm on my shoulders. I didn't reply but the words, 'wish I could say the same' were on my tip. I controlled myself, I just wanted to be in this moment with her. I was so fucking tired of fighting. But another side of me is so so angry at her, it hurts to even look at her.

"Why was the door open?" I questioned to divert myself from the things brewing in my head.

"You left without key; I didn't know when you'll be back, and I had my medicines so what if I was deep in sleep and couldn't open the door for you?" She murmured back, I hummed and let silence dance around us. Just the sound of us both inhaling and exhaling filling the space.

"I know you didn't mean whatever you said last night." The words barely out on the open and I turned sideways, coming face to face. "I didn't. I so didn't. I am so sor--" She put her palm on my lips.

"I know, Shai. I know. I know you more than you think I do. I didn't get fever because of you, Bub. I don't remember the last time I slept for more than two hours, of course my body gave up. It's not because of you." She cupped my cheek with one hand and her lips brushed my forehead, I nodded slightly. She kissed my head again, slowly I got back to my earlier position. This time she put her head on my chest. I let her. I let her be close to me because God knows, I needed this more than she did. This time when sleep came, it didn't come with nightmares, it came with little Ahaana's butterflies flying around us and we were near our favorite lake, behind the hide out, our favorite place in this whole world.

That night, I slept the longest I have ever in five years. With her by my side, in my head and in my... just every where. I was inhaling the same air she was breathing, and I was more than just grateful.