SCREWY PARENT SQUAD

FOSTER
I would like to make an announcement
that I just remembered.

STAN
What

LIVELY
Are you pregnant

REYNOLDS
How the hell could she be pregnant?
She's only had sex like once since
her and Sebastian have been back
together

FOSTER
First correction: sixteen times
Second correction: no I'm not
pregnant

LIVELY
It's been five fucking days wtf

STAN
I'm scared

FOSTER
This isn't what we're talking about, B

REYNOLDS
Then what are we talking about

STAN
Please tell me before I get scared

FOSTER
Ryan smacked my ass our anniversary
night okay

REYNOLDS
You dirty little snitch.

STAN
Was it firm

FOSTER
seBASTIAN

STAN
I'M JUST ASKING OKAY
FOR RESEARCH

LIVELY
I would like to know if it was firm
as well

FOSTER
What is you guys obsession with my
ass damn

REYNOLDS
It was very nice, very firm

STAN
Hmm I like it

FOSTER
I didn't because it fucking hurt okay

REYNOLDS
You were struggling and I had to do
something to stop you. I couldn't just
let your squirming ruin the suit that's
been festering in a special closet for the
last seven years

FOSTER
I'm not five, Ry

STAN
Lol you know you liked it

LIVELY
I just snorted

FOSTER
What is the matter with you

STAN
Could've asked you the same thing
last night BABYGIRL

FOSTER
Fuck you

STAN
You did, and you did a great job too
I'll return the favor later on

REYNOLDS
You should expose her more

FOSTER
Or not

STAN
She enjoys hair pulling a lot
But that's all I'm gonna say
Otherwise we'll get into this never
ending 50 Shades of Reyna Stan
discussion and I'd rather keep that
between the two of us

REYNOLDS
This is great, I'm laughing

FOSTER
Why is the conversation even happening
right now

LIVELY
It all started when you first pressed
the send button

STAN
I love you Rey 😂

FOSTER
I could expose you too man

STAN
Please don't, I'm weirder than you are

REYNOLDS
Exposed him please

LIVELY
I want to know the REAL Sebastian Stan

FOSTER
He's really lucky I don't say anything

STAN
Lol thank you

REYNOLDS
Why must you keep secrets from us

FOSTER
Like Sebastian said, I'd rather it stay
between the two of us 😉

REYNOLDS
Whack

FOSTER
Well I just got a text from Morgan yay

LIVELY
Aw, I miss Morgan
What'd she say

FOSTER
I need to go

STAN
Rey???

FOSTER
I need to go right now
I'll talk to you guys later, okay?

REYNOLDS
What's wrong? Did something happen?
Is Margarita okay? Is Morgan okay?

FOSTER
Leave it alone, I'll call you later

REYNOLDS
Rey, what the hell is wrong

LIVELY
Reyna Lynn Foster-Stan, come back

REYNOLDS
What's wrong, sweetie

LIVELY
Sebastian she isn't answering, where the
hell did she go?

STAN
I have no clue, to be honest. She
literally just kinda ran away

REYNOLDS
Is she okay?

STAN
I don't know...that's what I'm worried
about

LIVELY
Well this escalated very quickly

_______________

WELL, GET READY FOR A VERY OVERPROTECTIVE SEBASTIAN STAN GUYS

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN BUT I'M STILL PULLING ON AN IMPORTANT ISSUE HERE