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Chapter 23

"What do you want?"

Inara raised her eyebrow. "What's up with that tone? I just wanna chat a little."

Kairo leaned back in his chair so far that it was on the verge of toppling over and lazily spun around in circles. "About what?"

"Well, I was wondering—"

"Wooooo!" he interrupted loudly, spinning faster in his chair, the old plastic creaking dangerously.

"Ugh, you're such a little kid," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I wanted to ask—"

She was interrupted by a loud crash as the back of the old chair snapped and the boy fell backwards with a thud, laughing to himself as if it was the funniest thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't even try to get up, laying in the remains of the item he had just accidentally broken.

"Are you even listening?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing.

"Yeah yeah, just ask it already."

"I just wanted to ask you to go out on a walk with me."

He was silent for a while, not because he was trying to process the proposition, but because just wanted to see how much irritation she could handle. No matter how annoying he tried to be, he couldn't seem to get her off his back. It was as if she found his behavior charming in a strange way and only feigned annoyance for a reason he couldn't even fathom. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her shift anxiously as she awaited his response.

"What's in it for me?"

She blinked rapidly, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean? We're just gonna hang out a little. It's mutual benefit."

"Bold of you to assume that's something I even want to do."

"Kairo," she sighed. "C'mon, I helped you out with your errands and tasks while you were handling Slade's little cat allergy issue yesterday. Surely I should get some kind of act of gratitude."

"Well, thanks sincerely for stepping up to do that."

"That's all I get?"

He tilted his head upward so that he was looking at her upside down. "Yup," he returned cheekily before rolling over and pulling himself to his feet. With one hand, he stood what was left of the chair up and was pleased to see that it still stood upright, despite missing its back. He lazily gave it a twirl while the girl remained leaned against the doorway.

Inara groaned. "Ugh, you're my second biggest headache after that stupid Blank girl."

He paused abruptly, his fingers sliding off of the chair. "What now?"

"When I went to check up on her and bring her food, the little punk pushed me."

"Naw, she wouldn't," he laughed in disbelief, shaking his head. "She's too timid and gentle for that."

"Uh, yeah, she did, so I taught her a lesson."

He froze in his tracks, his jaw subconsciously clenching. A sinking feeling formed in his chest and an unexpected worry spread through his entire system, running through his veins and turning his blood cold. He whirled around and began stalking toward her heavily. Inara's eyes widened and she backed up instinctively as he towered over her, his eyes narrowing. "What the hell did you do?"

"I...I just put her in her place and reminded her who she was," she replied indignantly, but her voice faltering displayed her lack of confidence. She didn't take her eyes off of him, confused at his sudden angry reaction.

He swore loudly before brushing past her, his shoulder ramming into hers, ignoring her calls after him. A rare panic began to set him and he found himself running down the hallways and stumbling down the stairs on the way to the prison cells. He missed a couple of steps but managed to catch himself on the wall and continue on, his heart racing and his palms sweating profusely. Deep down, he knew that Inara couldn't possibly have done something that terrible, but at the same time, he couldn't shake off the aching dread that was slowly consuming him. When he finally reached the door, he fumbled with the lock system, messing up the code twice in a row, cursing the whole while, before finally getting it right and throwing the door open. As soon as he laid eyes on her, he knew he would be walking on paper thin ice. She scrambled to her feet as soon as he entered, her eyes wild and her entire appearance disheveled, from her dark hair hanging messily in front of her face to the concerning tears on her clothes. Studying her closely, he could discern bruises and marks littering the pale skin of her arms and face. Her stance was guarded and fearful as she eyed him cautiously, looking at him like the day they had first encountered one another.

Concern and a tinge of anger swept across his face, his protective side kicking in. He walked closer to her with his hand slightly extended out, and she couldn't help but pull back uncomfortably, her fear kicking in and overcoming her better judgement. His eyebrows furrowed. "Hey, it's okay, I won't hurt you."

She trembled in her place, still keeping her distance. His eyes were gentle, his stance relaxed and open, but she couldn't bring herself to let her guard down so easily after hearing everything from Inara the day before. He slowly took another step toward her but she pulled back again, surprising herself at her own actions. Here she was, blatantly defying him, and there would surely be consequences. Her stomach was turning and she felt nearly on the verge of throwing up, but at the same time, felt so numb and empty inside, as if the void of misery inside her had finally grown big enough to swallow her up.

"Please, I promise it'll be okay," he pleaded, his eyes fixed on hers. "You don't have to be scared."

"How do I know that?" she returned sharply, the words running out of her mouth without much thought. She knew she was making a mistake, but the heaviness in her chest was painful enough that she didn't care anymore what they would do to her.

He frowned. "I swore to never hurt you. Don't you trust me?"

She stared back at him. "What reason do I have to?"

"After all this time and everything we've been through, you still think I'd want to cause you harm?"

She hesitated, her bottom lip quivering. She looked on the verge of tears, but as she always did, she forced them back. "I want to believe you, Kairo, I really do, but how can I? I'm sure you're aware of what happened. What she did..."

"Yes, I know, and I'll deal with her. But I swear to you I'm not like that. I never meant for this to happen."

He tried to move closer again, but she held her hand out. "Please, don't. Please..."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, a haunting guilt pulling at his heart. "How bad is it? Can...can I see?"

Her face was mostly hidden behind her tangled tufts of hair, but she slowly raised a shaking hand to push it aside to show the dark bruises that formed on her cheeks. He felt his hands subconsciously clench into fists as he thought of Inara beating the poor girl senseless. Swearing for probably the millionth time within the short time span, he roughly ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I'll make sure she never gets near you again, and I'll get some things from Doc to help you. How bad is the pain?"

She didn't even know how to respond to that, how to put everything into words, and he could understand that by her silence so he didn't push for an answer. They settled into a tense stillness, neither saying a word. Unexpectedly, she slowly raised her eyes to meet his and as soon as they did, he felt as if he were falling into the deep depths of the broken soul encased in the fragile form of the girl in front of him. His breath hitched in his throat, and he stared speechless back.

She trembled, her eyes falling away from his. "I'm sorry...I guess I've become disillusioned."

He tilted his head, blinking rapidly to snap out of his slight trance. "What do you mean?"

"That I was anything more than a prisoner to all of you. I forgot who you were, where I was, I began imagining things...maybe just trying to find ways for me to keep some kind of hope that I'd be able to make it out of all this alright, but I realize now that it was all just a foolish fantasy."

"Woah woah, what are you saying that? What did she tell you?"

"What you're really up to. All these kind things are just your method to squeeze out whatever use I have left before inevitably killing me and moving on."

"What—"

"If that's really what you want, then just do it now," she spoke, her voice rising with each word. She continually surprised herself with her own words, but she hardly cared anymore. "Get rid of me because I'm no one and I'll never be anyone."

His gaze softened. "No, don't say that."

His mind was racing as he struggled to find the right words to calm her down. He knew he had to tell her what she wanted to hear, but he was also aware that she would not cave and believe him so easily. Taking a moment to reassess the situation, he found himself having to come to terms with some uncomfortable truths. He had never seen Blanks as people, at least not in the sense of having thoughts or expressing feelings of their own. They were always the same: stiff, composed, and robotic, as if a machine was pretending to be human, solely acting on the programming inputted by its creator. Yes, he treated them as decently as he could, but in the end, it was his best method for extracting information because he knew that relaxing them would make them more trusting and vulnerable. It was like a game to him and he almost always won, playing his opponent perfectly and sliding smoothly to victory. But here was an unexpected bump in the road in which he found himself having to tell her that she was indeed a person, not just another number, not just another indoctrinated citizen with a burning hate for him and his kind, in order to hold on to whatever trust in him she had left. Though he didn't want to fully admit it, he recognized that there was something about her that was different, divergent from anything he had ever seen before in all of his interrogations. They had been instructed to take her specifically and keep her alive, so there must be a reason behind it, though he had no clue what.

"Hey," he spoke slowly, obsessing over what to say and how to phrase it. "I haven't known you for too long, but I can confidently say that there's no one in the entire world like you and there never will be."

She stared at him, searching his gentle face for any signs of deceit. "Do you really mean that? Not even any of the other Blanks you've questioned resemble me in any way?"

"Yes, I'm telling the truth," he replied, his voice so firm and sure that she would've believed anything he said in that tone. "You're not like them. You're different."

"In what way?"

"The way you act, the way you carry yourself... I've barely scratched the surface in understanding all there is to you, the pain you're hiding, the hopes you may have, but I know you have the potential to leave a lasting mark behind if only you had the freedom to do so, apart from any fear or confinement."

"Even if I was different," she spoke, despair creeping into every word. "Why would that matter? I don't have any autonomy, never had a chance to decide anything for myself. My life's always been in the hands of someone else."

"Maybe it appears so on the outside, but in the end, you are your own master. When all is said and done, you are the first and last person you're ever gonna have, so might as well make that someone you would be happy with."

She didn't take her eyes off of him, her gaze burning into him like a hot iron as he wondered if she was believing anything he was spewing out. He hardly believed it himself. It was too idealistic in his eyes, but it was the best he could come up with. She thought over his words, replaying them in her mind over and over again. They were so hopeful, so optimistic that it was hard for her not to lean into them and believe the truth behind them, but at the same time, she knew that he would tell her anything to satisfy her, whether or not he actually believed in his own maxims.

"Are you?" she finally asked.

"Am I what?"

"Happy with who you are?"

He blinked, surprised that she turned the tables on him. "I...I'd like to think so. It's something that takes a lot of time, and I think there'll always be something I don't like about myself, but I'd say I'm content." Being caught off guard, she could discern that his response was genuine albeit slightly guarded and self conscious.

She nodded slowly. "How could I reach that point?"

He thought for a moment. "Don't let anyone ever stamp out that spark you have in you. Not the government, and not any of us for that matter. Burn away all the expectations of what you think you have to be and become who you are, the person you've been suppressing this whole time. You need to let loose, and the rest will fall into place."

"Will you allow me?" she asked, her voice quiet and unsure.

"Yes," he answered instantly, internally slapping himself, fearing he was making the worst mistake of his life. "Speak freely with me with no worry about anything."

She eyed him cautiously, fiddling with something in her pocket. "Do you promise you'll be alright with it?"

He crossed his heart, confusing her with the gesture, but doing it anyway. "I promise."

At that, both of their stances relaxed slightly, her feeling a little more at ease and him feeling like he dodged a bullet. As soon as he was done, he planned to berate Inara for almost ruining all the months of hard work he had spent easing her out of her shell. Without a word, they both settled down on the ground facing each other with him still keeping a slight distance. He watched curiously as her eyes flicked up to look at him and back to the ground between them repeatedly.

"Is there something else you want to say?"

She hesitated, a million butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Pulling the hair away from her face, she tied it back quickly, exposing a little more of her injuries. "I...I wanted to give you something...if that's permissible."

"Something for me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

She looked up at him with guarded eyes, trying to confirm that he truly meant what he said a short while ago before nodding slowly and reaching her hand into her pocket to reveal a delicate paper butterfly sitting on her palm. It was by no means an complicated piece of art, but she had taken the time to decorate the wings with various patterns and designs to make it look prettier.

He stared at her in shock, not moving for a moment. Never in a million years would he have thought a Blank prisoner would try to give him a gift. At that moment, he felt all the preconceptions he had about her begin to crumble as the things he had believed to be lies crossed the line, morphing into hazy truths. He studied the item in her hand, figuring she must have put quite a lot of effort and care into it. To his surprise, he felt a small warm feeling grow inside as he met her expectant yet sad gaze.

Disheartened by what she believed to be an unimpressed reaction, her hand dropped slightly, and she looked down at the ground feeling embarrassed. "You can just throw it out if you want. I'm sorry... I...I just thought I'd do something for you...after you took me out...a-and were so patient with me even though I made you panic...I-I just thought..."

Unable to contain himself, he smiled softly, reaching over and taking the butterfly into his hand. "I love it a lot. Thank you. That was quite thoughtful of you."

Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock. "Do you mean it?"

He laughed, his eyes fixing on her fondly. "Of course I do. I really do like it."

She was speechless, staring at him like an idiot, unable to form words. "I...I-I'm glad you do."

"I'll treasure this. Thank you again sincerely." The smile on his face was so bright and wide that it nearly impossible for her believe it was fake despite the doubt lingering in her mind. "How long did it take you?"

"A couple of hours. To make that and another one."

"What happened to the other one?"

"I-Inara ripped it up."

He frowned, realizing she did more than he previously thought. "I see."

"Please, don't let her come back here," she spoke suddenly. "I'm sorry, I know I am in no position to make such requests but—"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she never comes near you again. I just had something to take care of yesterday and I couldn't make it."

"It's alright. I would be fine even if I was left alone for a couple of days."

"What about your food?"

"I've gone without for longer," she returned, indirectly offering him a slight glimpse of the dark world she had come from.

He shook his head. "Naw, I'm not gonna do that to you. I'll make sure one of my friends covers for me if I'm unavailable."

"Are you sure? I'd hate to be a burden."

He looked at her seriously. "Believe me, I wouldn't have it any other way."

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