Chapter 19
"What do you think you're doing?" Kairo demanded as soon as the two of them had stepped outside the infirmary ward, his tone more annoyed than angry. He leaned against the wall near the door, crossing his arms over his chest.
"What do you mean, huh?" Yves returned, jutting her chin out and staring up at him defiantly. "Can't I just talk and have a nice conversation with her?"
"Sure, whatever, but why'd you have to give her an actual name?"
Yves squinted at him, her head tilting slightly. "Well, what's wrong with that?"
"What if we have to get rid of her? Like the other one?" he countered, referring to the blond Blank girl who had been deemed useless.
"She was taken for a reason, so I highly doubt we'd have to just kill her off."
"Regardless, I don't typically go around naming Blanks."
"Why, because it humanizes them?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yves, don't start—"
"No, you don't start," she snapped, jabbing a finger at him. "You dish out nicknames all the time, so how is this any different?"
"It's not like any of them are serious."
"Well, I could argue that mine isn't serious either."
He sighed, looking at her seriously. "Listen. If the rare occasion arises where she joins us, then she can get a permanent name. If not, she won't get one. That's just my rules."
She blinked rapidly. "Okay? And why did you decide it had to be that way?"
"Because that's what makes us different from them, okay? They try to strip us of any identity we may have and force us to all fit in the same mold and I absolutely refuse to be like them in any way. To me, having names is one thing that makes us different from the rest of them...a clear sign of us as actual people, not just faceless units."
Yves scoffed. "Sounds like a personal issue. I don't care."
"But I do. She's not like us, and she's not one of us," he spoke curtly.
"But can't you see she's different? I know it's rare for someone to show divergence at this age, but even from my short conversation from her, I can tell she's not fully on the side of the government."
"She still hates and fears us though."
Yves shrugged. "Maybe we can change that then."
"I don't think that's gonna work."
"We can at least try!"
Kairo groaned. "Just let me deal with the Blanks myself, like I always do, okay? It's not good to get so personally invested in things like this, and that's exactly what you're doing right now. The more detached, the better. I may pretend that I care, but it's all just part of the act."
"Fine, fine, if it means so much to you, I won't mess with your system. Geez."
He sighed, rubbing his fingers against his temple. "Look, I'm sorry I lashed out like that. I know you only mean the best, but please understand that there's reason behind my madness."
She tilted her head, her gaze softening. "Alright, fine, if that's what you want. But don't I have a point?"
"Maybe," he returned, not wanting to fully concede.
Yves snorted, rolling her eyes playfully. "I guess that's the best I'll get."
He chuckled. "How are you doing, by the way? I just realized I never asked."
"Alright, I guess. I mean, it's not like I lost a limb or anything."
Knowing that she was just attempting to put it lightly, Kairo reached over, gently tucking her brown hair behind her ear and tilting her chin slightly upward to get a better look at her neck and shoulder. His eyebrows furrowed when he examined her injuries scattered across her fair skin.
"It's much better now," she offered, doing her best to relieve the guilt visible in his eyes.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"What did I tell you? It's not your fault."
"I know, but if you hadn't gone and set off that explosion, who knows what would have happened to Slade and me."
She shrugged. "Better to sustain a treatable injury than lose a member."
"I guess so."
"What about you? How are you doing?" she asked, changing the subject. "'Cause it seems like you're under a lot of stress right now."
He let out a dry laugh. "Yeah, you could say that. Clovis has just been giving me hell again. But what's new at this point?"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about your punishment," Yves realized, giggling to herself slightly.
"Ugh, Yves..." he groaned, rolling his head back. "Please don't start making demands."
"And what if I do?"
"C'mon, please don't add another thing on me. Please, I'll do anything."
"Like meet my demands?"
He paused. "Okay, now listen here you little—"
She laughed. "Ah, I'm just messing you."
"You better be."
She paused, glancing off into space for a minute. "You should probably get back in there. She'll probably think you murdered me out here if she hasn't run away already."
He face palmed. "Right. What about you?"
"I'm probably gonna run to the mess hall to grab some food. I'm famished."
"Are you allowed to just be walking around?"
Yves pursed her lips and looked down. "Yes..."
"Yves."
"Screw what Doc says. I'm not listening to that old geezer."
"Ah, well, he probably knows best though."
"Well, he's not gonna stop me."
"Alright," he chuckled, knowing there was no use arguing with her. "Do what you want. Would you like me to carry you there, madam?"
She snickered. "I'll pass. See you around, Kairo."
"See ya, Yvie," he returned, hesitating briefly before choosing to use her nickname. She shot him a slight smirk before heading down the hallway with a slight skip to her step. Running a hand through his hair, he opened the door to the infirmary ward and slipped back in. To his surprise, the brown haired girl was sitting in nearly the exact position he'd left her in, her hand still holding the sheet tightly and her eyes locked on the doorway. When she saw him enter, she glanced at him for a split second before diverting her eyes to the floor. He approached slowly, using one hand to spin around the office chair Yves had placed at the foot of Slade's bed.
"Hey, ah, how are you feeling?"
"Better now, thank you," she responded quietly, throwing occasional brief glances at him, as if she was afraid to look at him for too long. "And thank you for taking me here. I...appreciate your care and concern."
"Well, I can't have you dying on my watch," he said lightly, taking a seat next to her. "Next time you don't feel well or generally feel uncomfortable in any way, you tell me, alright? So we can take care of it before it gets worse."
She nodded. "I will." She paused, pursing her lips. "I'm probably going back to the cell after this, right?"
"Ah, well, I assume so."
She leaned back on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. "And for how long? I...I'm sorry I keep asking that but..."
"No, no I understand," he interrupted quickly. "No solid promises, but I don't think you'll be there for too much longer."
She turned her eyes back to him, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "How do you know?"
"Oh, I just have a feeling."
She exhaled loudly, shaking her head. "You made me hopeful there for a moment."
"Well, what's life without a little hope, right?"
She was silent for a minute. "Yes...I suppose."
"What, do you just walk around without any hope all the time?"
"From my point of view, there isn't much to be hopeful about."
He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, aren't you a basket full of sunshine. I mean, even if life sucks 99% of the time, I'm still optimistic that things might not suck after a while, you know?"
"But how do you know your current situation will ever get better?"
"I don't. But I wouldn't allow myself to be miserable all the time, 'cause that's no way to live."
She looked down again, twisting the sheet around her finger. "Fair enough."
"Don't you want to be happy?"
"Of course."
"So why don't you at least try?"
She frowned. "Bold of you to assume that I've given up so easily. I do try, and have been trying, but can't seem to find what I'm yearning for. I don't know how to."
He titled his head. "Maybe I can change that."
"You think you could make me happy?" she questioned, doubt obvious in her tone.
He shrugged. "I mean, why not? I don't think I've been treating you too harshly, have I?"
She shook her head. "No. On the contrary, you've been rather...kind to me."
"See? Okay, I'll make a challenge for myself then to see how many times I can get you to admit that you're feeling happy. How does that sound?"
"Like an awfully hard challenge on your part."
"Well, if you work with me, it won't be as bad."
She considered it for a moment, thinking over his offer. Could this boy really bring her happiness? It had felt like all joy she could have possibly possessed had been sucked out, leaving her with nothing but cold emptiness, eating her from the inside out. Every little thing she tried to attach herself to, just to have something to hold onto and root herself to, always seemed to disintegrate in her grasp. Nothing ever stayed; nothing was ever untouched by that darkness. She shook her head. "You would just be wasting your time on me."
"Nonsense."
She raised her eyes to meet his, keeping eye contact a little longer than usual. "It's true. People like me must not be interesting to talk to. You're only doing this because you have to."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, is it not the reason you refer to us as Blanks? Because there is nothing more to us than what we have been indoctrinated and programmed with?"
He paused, considering her words. Funny how she seemed so self aware and contemplative yet so naive and simplistic at the same time. "Not necessarily. Y'all surprise me from time to time. Maybe most of your actions are predictable, but at your core, you're still different people."
"Curious thought. What stands out about me?"
He smiled slightly. "Well, for one, you're definitely a fighter. Not in the sense where you can beat people up—no offense, but you probably couldn't—but in the sense that you seem to have been through a lot and survived through it all."
A small smile formed on her face when she looked over at him again. "Thank you," she said slowly. "I wasn't expecting you to say something like that...but I appreciate it."
He grinned. "Of course. And, look at that, I made you smile."
Her cheeks flushed slightly. "I suppose you did."
Reaching over hesitantly, he touched her hand gently, surprised that she didn't recoil for once. "I feel like I've just scratched the surface when it comes to knowing you, and there's so much more to you than meets the eye."
Something about his hand touching hers sparked a strange feeling inside, something warm and comforting, yet strange to her. "I could say the same for you."
He smiled. "Well, let's start off easy then. Hm, favorite color?"
She thought for a moment. "Cobalt blue. And you?"
"Black. Kinda basic like that," he said with a shrug. "Now it's your turn. Ask me anything."
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